Macronomicon
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Chapter 84: Spoils of War
🕑 Added 2024-12-16 16:47:06 +0000 UTC“This…this is more than we’ll ever need.” Travis said, his gaze crossing the pile of loot in the center of Bee’s abandoned warehouse. Rare sacrifices, weapons, and jewelry was piled up in the center of the room with casual disdain for their value. Of course none of it was weak enough to be damaged by the rough treatment, but it still felt weird.
“More than we’ll ever need? No. Not even close. More than we can use? Definitely.” Thea Oilton said. Their Decoy’s socialite older sister crossed her arms over her chest, chewing her lip as she studied the pile.
“What’s the difference?” Will asked.
“After one reaches a certain amount of wealth they simply cannot utilize the money directly. A man only has one mouth to feed, two slots for rings, etc.” She gestured to a case full of rings haphazardly laying on its side. “Obviously even if your whole party were to don those rings, there would still be half remaining. And that’s not including the ones you already have on, which would need to find a new home.”
“I understand the concept behind it being more than we can use, but why is it not more than we need?” Will asked.
“Because Strongholds burn through money, personnel and Relics like lamp oil.” Thea said. “You’ve got enough wealth here to hire the people you’ll need to start one. You’ve even got specialty Sacrifices that you could use to give some Aspirants custom classes for your Stronghold’s benefit.”
Thea must’ve seen the disgust on Will’s face.
“Despite what you might think, providing Aspirants with custom classes is an excellent deal for all parties involved, provided the Lord isn’t a monster like Frederick. Typically these people provide so much value to the Stronghold that a Lord is incentivized to treat them very well. The Wyrd Stronghold is the exception to the rule.”
“Hmm.”
I wonder if I could give Jason a Charm Archetype class. He seems like he’d be suited for it. Kid made me an urban legend without any Class at all. I shudder to think what he could do with a Class built for it. I bet I could hire him away from that printing press in the ring.
And the other kids in the orphanage. I actually could give them some really powerful classes, couldn’t I? Will wasn’t fooling himself into thinking they had the same starting point he did.
With that in mind, the idea wasn’t as awful as he’d thought.
“I’ll think about it.” Will mused. “Long way to go until I hit the tenth Floor and become a Lord anyway.”
“And set up a Stronghold.” Thea added.
“Is…that a requirement?” Will asked.
Thea blinked at him. “Did they not teach you how to become a Lord?”
“…what, at my bargain bin orphanage? No they did not.”
“Okay. To become a Lord, you have to meet these requirements.” She said, ticking her fingers.
“You have to be ‘in control’ of a large settlement, a Stronghold, not claimed by another Lord, that is capable of housing several hundred people. You then have to have at least a dozen Climbers swear to be your Vassals. After that, The Tower takes over, and you become a Lord.
“That’s it?” Will asked. “Doesn’t seem that hard.”
Then his brain caught up with his mouth.
If older Lords targeted your settlement to promote their own children up to Lords, like Frederick Wyrd had done in Oilton, then holding on to a settlement could be…difficult. Not to mention –
“Climbing and creating a settlement are two completely different skillsets. As is defending it from monsters, and fending off other Climbers who might be interested in profiting off all your hard work. More than a few Lords got their start as claim-jumpers. Most of them aren’t around anymore because that mentality isn’t good for long-term sustainability, but it illustrates how many potential Lords failed at the finish line because of human greed.”
“I get it,” Will said, nodding.
He and Thea glanced back to his Party, who were digging through the pile, inspecting items and putting them in piles to be discarded or investigated more thoroughly.
Reggie was sitting off to the side, working with a clamp, mallet and a very long-handled chisel, carefully popping open the dimensional pearls.
Reggie had volunteered to do it, despite having ham-hands, because he was the least likely person to lose a finger or die if a pearl turned out to encase a greatsword pointed directly towards his heart when it regained its full size.
Thankfully there hadn’t been any accidents yet.
POP.
With a semi-sonic pop of displaced air, a roll of toilet paper coated in waterproof oilcloth appeared in the clamp as the dimensional effect of the pearl cracked.
Reggie let out a sigh of relief and glanced up, seeing Will watching him. The blonde Tank gave him a grin and threw the roll at him.
Will held it up and allowed The Tower to decipher the item’s magical qualities, if it had any.
Roll of endless Toilet Paper.
This roll of toilet paper slipped out of a high-level climber’s pack and was swallowed by a Dimensional Oyster. Over time, it became trapped in a time crystal. Every night at midnight, it returns to its prior state.
“Not bad,” Will mused, tossing it back. Sure, it wasn’t a powerful weapon or ring, but it was handy. Like the endless back of salt. Something Will regretted missing out on every now and then.
“Oooh,” Alicia whispered, pulling a necklace out of the pile. It was an eye suspended within a gold and glass spherical cage.
An actual eye, seemingly cut from some malevolent humanoid that spun around in the gold cage, looking at each of them with the deliberation of someone or something marking its prey.
“Witch’s Eye.” Alicia whispered, hesitating for a moment as she touched her safety blanket, the Amulet of Heart’s Desire resting on her chest. A moment later, the Artillery took a deep breath and took off her old amulet before putting on the new one.
Upon settling over Alicia’s neck, the Witch’s Eye began glowing flame-blue like Alicia’s eyes, it’s gaze following hers, giving the casual observer the unsettling impression that Alicia had acquired a third eye.
Her Build is getting stranger and stranger, Will thought. The addition of the Saint sacrifice meant that she might manifest healing secondary Abilities when she hit level 30, and her sight Ability had been expanded to see vulnerabilities in any living thing.
She was changing from an artillery specialist to something a bit more…targeted. Probably in an effort to differentiate herself from Mason.
That reminds me. I need a new amulet and new pants, Will thought, turning back to the pile. The amulet of the Homefield Advantage was great, but it was entirely it’s own thing. It didn’t have any stat bonuses, nor did it directly boost or synergize with any of his gear or Abilities, save for the Aspect footing bonus.
And his pants raised strength and speed, but not much more than that.
So a Relic to boost Ranger or Rogue archetype abilities would be useful. Especially if I have to walk on water regularly on the 6th Floor.
He found room next to Loth, who was sorting through different Relics, musing to herself as she discarded one after another.
“What’s that one you go there?” Will asked, pointing at the ornate cuirass she had set down beside her in her ‘keep’ pile.
“Cuirass of the Cruel Tyrant,” She said, inspecting a ring. “It allows me to shift damage from myself to my minions. I’m going to experiment with whether or not damage redirected by it counts as coming from ‘me’ or ‘my opponent’, which will dictate what kinds of Relics will synergize. My current torso piece has no synergy with my Build at all and is simply for protection.”
“Do you have any minions tough enough to make that worthwhile?” Will asked. It seemed like a bug simply couldn’t absorb much damage without dying, and the rest of the damage would overflow back on the kobold saboteur.
“Initial experiments are promising.” She said, holding out her hand. A black beetle with a mottled pebbly black exoskeleton that seemed to blend in with Loth’s own fire-damaged scales emerged from her sleeve, waggling long antennae at him before skuttling back into her clothes.
Hmm.
“What about the Miasma bug?” Will asked.
A few weeks ago, they’d bought a knife that summoned maksu skeleton undead ‘on kill’, binding them to the wielder’s control.
Of course ‘on kill’ only included anything with enough Miasma build-up in its system to qualify as a monster or a Climber. Something with enough magic in it to fuel the effect. Loth was attempting to breed a species of insects that contained enough miasma to trigger ‘on kill’ effects while still being docile, because those could be wildly valuable to her Build.
“Less successful. When the Miasma begins to collect in their system they tend to become unruly and slip out of my control. I’m experimenting with a way for them to contain Miasma without it interacting with their bodies, but…it’s only been a month, Will.”
“Fair enough,” Will said, sitting down beside his second-in-command.
Starting his search with pants, Will pulled out a slick pair of black pants with a white stripe down each leg out of the pile.
Dapper Pants of the Skunk.
+8 resistance
+5 kinesthetics
+20% Charm archetype Ability potency.
Stinky Escape: 1 Charge: Release a toxic cloud that renders those inside it (except yourself) unable to see, smell or hear, facilitating a quick getaway. Those with lower Resistance may be incapacitated by the gas.
“Found something for you,” Will said, tossing it to Travis, who inspected it critically for a moment before groaning.
“Damnit,” Travis sighed, shoving the pants into his ‘keep’ pile. “But only because it’s technically better than what I’ve got right now.”
“You’ve still got the boots of outflanking,” Will said. “Those pants could trigger it on command, instead of once every half-hour.”
“It occurred to me,” Travis said. “But is it worth being ‘the fart guy’ for the rest of my Climbing career?”
Will shrugged.
“I’ll use it, but only in emergencies,” Travis said, pointing his finger at Will.
“What is he talking about?” Alicia asked, looking up from her new glowing blue amulet, the eye resting on her collarbone following her gaze.
“Travis’s new pants make him fart,” June said without looking up.
“Oh.” Alicia nodded, returning to her sorting.
“That’s not…whatever,” Travis ignored the heckling, realizing that fighting it would simply make them tease him even more mercilessly.
Will dropped it and went back to sorting through pants. He went through half a dozen before he found one that made him pause.
Ranger’s Swift Earth Pants
+10 Resistance
+5 strength
+25% Ranger Archetype Ability potency
Abilities and effects that are composed of or travel primarily through Earth are 35% faster and persist 35% further beyond the user’s control.
What does that mean?
Without any shame, Will whipped his pants off in front of his whole Party before putting the new pants on. They had less Strength boost than his previous pants, but the Ranger Archetype boost was extremely tempting, and the thirty-five percent faster and beyond the user’s control? Will had to see what that was about.
Once the pants were on, Will moved away from the others and raised his foot, recalling his practice with Ghoul, who some might call the undisputed master of making Abilities perform outside their specifications.
Will lifted a foot, urging the floor to raise with it.
Then he nearly toppled over as the floor continued to raise under his foot, higher and faster than he’d ever made it go, and without Will’s permission, nearly catapulting him into the pile of treasure.
“ACK!” Will took his foot off the pillar of stone and regained his footing as it begrudgingly sank pack into the earth, much slower than it usually did. Typically when he took his foot off, it went back down, nearly instantly.
With these pants? Not so much.
Hmm…
Will tried again, lifting his foot, but taking it away before he reached the full height.
The pillar of stone kept rising rapidly for a couple heartbeats, as if it still thought he was there, before it eventually reversed direction and sank back into the ground.
The pants gave his Aspect ground manipulation a…slide-y feeling.
If it keeps going after I let go of it…
Will raised his foot as quickly as he could then grunted with exertion as he pushed back down. Not with the intention of creating ripples, but the intention to jump off the rapidly ascending pillar, adding its momentum to his own.
“WHOO!” Will shouted as he soared into the air a moment before his head struck the ceiling of the warehouse and he tumbled back down to the stone several stories below.
When Will pulled his head back up, spitting out blood and the dirt of the warehouse floor, he couldn’t stop chuckling evilly. His Party ignored him, for the most part.
Will had more applications to test.
He tried some of the other techniques he’d begun inventing under the supervision of Ghoul.
Will dragged his foot along the floor, a lump of ground following beneath it. He whipped his foot forward, got it going fast and then set his foot down on the lump.
The swell of earth continued going forward, dragging Will’s foot along with it, and forcing him to do the splits before it seized his foot and violently dragged him forward for half a body length.
“AGH! OW! HAHAHAH!” despite the pain of having his legs wrenched apart and knees battered on unforgiving stone, Will was enormously pleased with the pants.
Next, Will didn’t set his foot down on the lump, instead letting it travel forward, causing Loth to wobble in place, rising up and down like a buoy.
Loth gave him a look.
Properly chastised, Will took his experimenting further from the group.
After several minutes, Will figured out that the ripples moved faster, and significantly further while wearing the pants.
Aspect of the Goat’s original abilities scaled with Resistance, and they were a Ranger Archetype ability, so it made sense that this pair of pants boosted it’s power drastically, but the way the effect persisted a little bit longer opened up so many new options.
Last test, Will thought, lifting his foot up then shoving it back down with a grunt.
He hadn’t figured out how to make an earth spike before Ghoul had to leave, but he had managed to make one side of the ripple crest higher than the other, about the height of someone’s ankle, enough to trip them or maybe make them stumble, but nothing super impressive.
With the pants on…the semicircle of ground that shot away from his foot rose up to knee-height, shooting out nearly twenty feet before it vanished back into the ground.
That was a significant upgrade. It wasn’t going to kill anything by itself, but it could definitely disrupt his opponent’s footing, maybe even break a leg, and any Ability that didn’t cost any Charge should be polished.
Maybe one day he could get it to make spikes from the earth…for free.
In the common parlance…a cantrip. Like the way Mason could summon fire to his fingertips to light fires or intimidate people by almost triggering Conflagrate.
“Okay. The pants are in,” Will mused to himself, attempting to glide across the floor and tumbling to the ground.
Hmmm…how is this going to work? Will could tell there had to be a way to use the moving lumps as a movement technique, but he wasn’t sure how…
“Try riding the wave with one foot and then the other, like skating.” Thea suggested from where she’d been watching his experiments with the new functionality of Aspect of the Immortal Serpent.
“Bold of you to assume I know what 'skating' is.” Will said, glancing up at her.
Comments
Moon Winchester
Random thought maybe the reason William Owen was actively affecting the tower because it took his hand as a sacrifice getting his genetic information officially making Will an effective building block of the tower
Arrogant Dreamer
His possible new movement style reminds me of a particular character in Jim Butchers Codex Alera series. This character is an Earth bender, and he uses his earth spirit to basically ride the earth like a wave, or enhance his running by essentially running in place while manipulating the earth to mimic his running posture to increase his speed and endurance.
Xeophyn
I just realized that what the team could really use is a shrinking bus. They could have Steve play dead along with a bunch of supports and safety transport them to higher floors in Will's hand or something.
Nate Oppy
William Oh is never wrong. In fact, once he thought he was wrong but of course… he was right.
Cyrus McEnnis
And also also - Will's party has a stash of that fungal sacrifice from the mycohydra, right? Definitely need to get some of that to Bri >.>
Cyrus McEnnis
Also? I will be sadly disappointed if Will's Stronghold is called anything other than "Bakerstown", and if it is optimised for anything less than the fluffiest of buns.
Cyrus McEnnis
It occurs to me that Will has a MASSIVE advantage in securing a Stronghold - Loth. Her trap-fu, as evidenced by the plans for a Kaiju trap bridge, seems to be persistent, so she can help secure multiple sites. And if, say, Will + Loth + Mason + June + Decoy I mean Trevor form their own cabal and create an interlocking series of mutually supporting fortresses trapped to the point that a paranoid kobold would point at them all and exclaim "Now, that is a trap!" in admiring tones? That would be a very hard nut to crack for the average claim jumper and that's before they hit the final tripwire that alerts the Redundant Array of Interdependent Bakers to intruders.
Pseudo
“But that all changed when the tangled attacked”
Baines
he is on the way to being the Ohvatar
Baines
fart pants get!
Ryan Naquin
endless back of salt. -> endless bag of salt.
Arnon Parenti
And 3, possibly 4, maybe 5.
Andrew
Thank you!
David Giles
Loth really does have her minions well trained.
Emily Gurnavage
"Aspect of the Immortal Serpent" oh yea, I keep forgettin it aint AotG anymore after that upgrade. That was a nice chapter though. Love the fart pants, was that from the suggestion thread? Lol. And more AotS experimenting is always fun.
The Human
Do we know what the eye does?
The Human
Bold *of* you in the last spoken sentence
Ruan Labuschagne
Please i love reading about new items and the fuckery that willoh thinks of 😭
Logan
Tftc
Ryan Naquin
Toph would approve.
Pseudo
Can’t will learn to send air blasts now? Like punching the air for ranged attacks?
KipBR
This is awesome
thaughton2
Epic earth bender pants are epic.
Macronomicon
We're gonna need a Spoils of War Pt. 2
