AlexTestria
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Today I gave up
🕑 Added 2023-08-26 17:41:17 +0000 UTCI write this while in my hospital bed for my 8th chemo therapy session.
I haven't eaten or drank in days and was fed this time through artificial nutrition in my veins.
I couldn't speak for 4 days, vomitted so often you could not count it and cried myself to sleep too many times.
All of this in the biggest heatwave (30°C room temperature) with no air conditioning, when you sweat out your poison and am forced to smell it again.
I am soo done
I made it through 8 of 9 planned chemos and radiotherapy. I just can't handle it anymore, ever.
This is a true fight for life nobody can and hopefully never has to imagine.
Since November 2022 I live in constant pain and fear of death.
These are my reasons to give up on chemo therapy. Giving up on poisoning myself.
Giving up on fighting for longer.
I am so incredibly thankful for everybody supporting me. Even with cancer I am a lucky bastard to have so many caring people around me.
What's next?
First I go home in 12h and take the loongest shower in my life. While sitting in a chair of course. I can barely walk yet.
And then I'll have a chat with my doctors about me saying no to chemo.
9 chemos were planned and I've made it through 8.
Hopefully one chemo to less doesn't kill me.
In about 2 to 4 weeks we will do a PET scan and full body MRI.
I'm then radioactive for 2 days and am not allowed to go near children or pregnant mothers.
The results then are going to decide, if I will die within a year or maybe live till 90 years.
You're invited to pray with me for good results!
On the 31. August I am celebrating my 21. birthday! It would mean a lot to me if a few of you all read and remember that date 🎈
I am working again!
You might have seen that I am busy working on my passion again.
Now that I am on antidepressants, I have the strength to do what I love again! No matter the results of my cancer: I am going to create beauty and art for you all and I'll do it for the rest of my life.
Brickcraft Update incoming
Yes, I changed, fixed, and added a lot! Stay tuned for the next update :brick_heart:
Thank you all soo much
Thanks everyone for being here and especially thanks to you my Patrons who kept my back financially. Without you I could not have afforded some of my special care treatments and a short vacation to my most loved place: the Austrian Alps.
This picture was taken there on 2.500 meters 🗻
Comments
beaco64
they say legends never die, if that is true you will live to fight cancer another 65 years from now
Jasonian Michael
Love you bro! Keep doing what you love and continue to take care.
M.Sameed C
I'll pray for your health. May you live a happy and prosperous life and beat cancer
Unndestiny
This is the most respectful thing ever. Keep fighting through it. Your in my prayers and I know you will make it through it
Peteson Craft
The work you have done will always be remembered
Peteson Craft
You have my respect for how you are handling this, keep fighting!
AlexTestria
Thanks TechnoGhost! I posted this update on Wednesday on my discord. I'm feeling a lot better now than I did then :)
TechnoGhost2124
HOPING FOR THE BEST FOR YOU!!!
