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36: Gaping Dragon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
🕑 Added 2022-11-28 23:13:21 +0000 UTCAfter I had calmed down sufficiently I started traversing this dammed maze once more. Along the way I found a Swedish man wearing some funky-looking armor selling all kinds of stuff who called himself Domhnall of Zena. I bought some resins off of him and continued on. And I saw something that infuriated me to no end.
A fucking shortcut. One that was barely a goddam minute away from the bonfire. How did I miss this? Am I just that retarded?
After my mini-breakdown, I opened the shortcut and then finally reached the ramparts overlooking the gaping dragon arena. You may ask; Why are there ramparts in the sewers? And to that, I say; why /shouldn't/ there be ramparts in the sewers? Because it just made sense to build ramparts in a sewer.
In fact why aren't there any ramparts in the sewers on earth? We are falling behind the people who build houses in the middle of roads. But if we just spike the waters of our architects with powerful hallucinogens we may just be able to match the pure architectural majesty of Lordran.
Seriously, if I just managed to get my hands on the shit that the architects of lordran smoke, drink, and/or snort. I may just be able to get an actual night's sleep without being tortured by PTSD night terrors. But alas that's just wishful thinking.
I will never be able to sleep.
But on those same ramparts, I saw a familiar infuriating figure. That's right it was the fucking cowardly piss baby channeler. This time instead of his gaggle of bald beef jerky children he instead has a lot of oversized rats.
The moment he saw me he started doing his stupid ass dance to buff his herd of rats. And when the blue aura covered them all they all rushed at me at once. To this warm welcome, I was about to give them an even warmer one.
''Twin Fire Orb.''
I didn't really need to say it out loud honestly. Or any of my moves for that matter, it just makes me feel cooler and helps me visualize.
*BBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!*
Under the 2 orbs of flame, the dozen or so ratlings who rushed at me went out in a blaze of glory. Now that the minions were out of the way it was time to take out my righteous anger on the channeler. Who, seeing his entire entourage taken out in one move, launched a magic bolt at me. I just ducked under and dropkicked the channeler off the side of the ramparts and down to his demise.
*Splat*
Now that the nuisances were dealt with it was time to go fight that dragon. Or I guess what was supposed to be a dragon anyway. I went down several floors while looting shit I found. After I made it all the way down the ramparts I was met with a fog wall. and next to it was a summon sign shining with rays of sunlight, Solaire's sign. I stared at it, pondering.
I saw the sight of solaire being bisected flash before my eyes.
No. This was my fight. I was going to do this alone.
< You have received the quest {Challenge: Gaping Dragon} >
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{Challenge: The Gaping Dragon}
Condition: beat the gaping dragon without outside interference.
Reward: 25,000souls, 3 humanity, Dragon King Greataxe
Accept? Y/N
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'Yes'
I stepped through the fog gate. And into the gigantic sewer chamber. Beyond the dropoff from the chamber emerged a little dragon head that looked like a nub. But then...
*Boom!* *Boom!* "ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!"
And from it emerged a giant grotesque monster that was bigger than an apartment building. It had six limbs with every one of them wider than my whole body. Two pairs of giant wings. And most of all the giant row of countless teeth that emerged from a cavity in its chest that stretched down nearly its entire body.
Seeing this I felt something I hadn't felt in a long long time.
Dread.
If the hellkite drake was intimidating then what the hell was this? This could eat the hellkite drake like a granola bar. How the hell was I actually expected to beat this... thing.
And even after that, you are telling me I have to fight someone who hunted dragons that were bigger, smarter, and stronger than this thing. Don't forget the fire breath and stone scales. Oh, and did I mention that fucker killed them by himself?
Yeah, and I have to fight that fucker in a 2 v 1 as the outnumbered side. Just fuck my life, will you?
The whole air felt oppressive as the titanic beast rose to full size. I couldn't help but release a tired chuckle as the reality that this was my life dawned on me. Just challenging the impossible over and over again.
< You have gained the trait [Insane] >
Rumble Rumble
The whole world shook with every step it took with its giant limbs toward me. Calm down. You aren't scared. You aren't phased.
/You aren't scared./
Alright. The gaping dragon is a slow target. But my weapons won't deal sufficient damage to it and close quarters are a no-go. My best bet is keeping distance and peppering him with lightning spears.
While the beast slowly approaches my position I charged a full-power lightning spear and released it toward one of its legs.
*Zap!* "ROOOOAAAAAAAERRRRGGHHHH!!!!!"
That did basically nothing. I mean yes it did damage carving out a meter square of flesh and melting it but other than that, nothing. In fact, the only thing it accomplished was pissing off the giant dragon.
"ROAOOAARH!!!" *STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP*
I rescind my previous statement.
For a beast of that size, it is certainly fast. ıt quickly managed to reach me and slammed its hand down on my position. In response, I flipped back and nailed a lightning spear on its foot. Yet it did not do much but melt a portion of its hand.
*Slam!* *Splat!*
But I didn't expect the gaping dragon to slam its torso on me after I landed. Causing me a painful death full of jagged teeth.
In all honesty? I should've expected that.
Though I am surprised I can still feel fear. I thought the asylum demon beat that out of me long ago.
'So... How do I kill a mutated dragon the size of an actual building without any help.'
Lightning spear was dealing decent damage. But it's not strong enough. I have several bows and crossbows but those are actual jokes against enemies stronger than a hollow soldier.
But the problem is I don't know enough about the big G. to formulate a proper game plan against him. Since I died in a single minute.
But maybe if I hit its head...
[YOU DIED]
Well, that didn't work. I could barely get an angle to hit his head due to his posture and when I did it just blocked with his wings. Then I got stomped.
Next up, let's test the feasibility of melee.
...
[YOU DIED]
Eh, I already expected that. Though surprising I was able to actually damage him with deadman's blow. Using that with deadman's blade I can damage his limbs but because of how unapologetically thicc they are my sword can't slice through all the way.
Alright let's try a bit more
...
I may need to approach this differently.
The gaping dragon is far bigger stronger and faster than I thought. Though my sunlight miracles hurt it is not enough to bring it down before I run out of focus.
But I still tried multiple times. Even if I can outspeed it I can't outlast it. My stamina or focus will run out before I can kill it. And the damage I dealt resets every time I due to the time flow of lordran.
And what the dragon did to me on the last try was... ugh. I will never mentally recover from that.
It spew out an acidic mixture of what I can only assume is copious amounts of rotten flesh, sewage, and garbage. Right on me.
It went into my eyes, my ears, my nose, and my throat. The pain and sheer disgust is something I don't wish on my worst enemy. The moment some of it slipped down my throat I used a maximum combustion to blow my own head off without hesitation.
Never again.
I don't think I am actually capable of defeating the gaper in my current state. So I guess I know what this means...
''TRAINING MONTAGE!!!''
...
I have been killing rats and hollows for d a y s now.
I have acquired around 38 humanities from the rats. And around a hundred thousand souls but I feel like I have lost a goddam piece of my shattered mind. During this time I have also challenged the gaping dragon a few times to test my skills.
Fuck it, I have even spent the time with my new faith and a week with solaire to learn sunlight blade to completion.
Yes, I could grind more but if I do I will grind my own head into a pulp. At least the fruits of my labor are sweet as honey and as juicy as a drake steak(which is my staple meal to retain at least a shred of sanity, and no it did not give me stats again)
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(Miracles)(-)
[ Heal lv.10 ], [Homeward lv.4], [Seek Guaindance lv.5], [Force lv.10], [Lighning Spear lv.10], [Sunlight Blade lv.4]
[Pyromancies](-)
[Fireball lv.10(max)], [Fire Orb lv.10(max)], [Iron Flesh lv.10(max)], [Flash Sweat lv.10(max)], [Combustion lv.10(max)]
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You may think shit's sweet because they are at max level but the amount of madness I have accumulated is... rather obnoxious. During this time I was also made aware that I haven't slept in months. And the mental exhaustion of that is becoming a bit hard to handle.
And these fucking white hairs are making me feel old.
Alongside maxing out my spells list I also used every damn milliliter of soul I had to level up. Which cost surprisingly low considering my level for some reason. I raised endurance, attunement, resistance, and dexterity to 30.
Although I still don't fancy my odds against a giant dragon that consists of 25 percent teeth. I am still willing to test my odds.
And I have also discovered something with pyromancies. Once I am experienced enough with them I can actually overcharge the spells. Although overcharging spells is inefficient it can still let me give my pyromancies a bit of a kick when I need to.
Also, since my armor may as well be cloth in this fight I have decided to alter my equipment for mobility and fashion.
I was a model dammit! I may have given up my sanity but I am not giving up my sense of fashion!
I still wore my plated greaves, I removed my chest plate and just moved around bare-chested. Not like against an enemy like this the chest plate was going to do anything significant. Plus it helps with sweat. I tied my Hellkite cape around my waist and lastly, the helmet stayed on. In fact, I haven't removed my helmet for over around a month except for doing maintenance. Without it, I just feel vulnerable.
Anyways, let's go hunt that dragon!
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James French
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
