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Chapter 50: Anal Rodeo and a Promise.
🕑 Added 2022-12-16 23:01:28 +0000 UTCHe started making his way down the staircase while looking at the scenery. Although his emotions were highly skewed right now he could still objectively say that the city was beautiful. And looking at it gave him a better idea of where he was going.
The giant cathedral. A majestic building bigger and more majestic than any other he saw in both lives. And it is also where the {Executioner Smough} and {Dragonslayer Orstein} guard ''{Gwynewere}''.
Regardless of the future, he had made it down the stairs to be met with a towering giant sentinel. Wanting to test the strength of the sentinels in this area he released 5 great heavy soul arrows onto the sentinel.
*BOOM!!! 5x*
The sentinel staggered heavily as the soul arrows slammed onto it and exploded. Putting giant cavities into the sentinel and nearly killing it.
'/More durable than I expected./'
*Schwing!*
With apathetic eyes, he swung his sword and bisected the sentinel. Continuing on his path. He entered the doorway to his left and encountered two more sentinels on standby guarding a chest.
'{Flame Splitter}.'
*Slash!* *Boom!!!* *Thud! 2x*
He swung his blade with might as it released a giant crescent blade of flame, severing the sentinels in half. He shoved the two corpses away to reach the chest which only contained a bit of demon titanite much to his ire as he incinerated the chest. After taking out the titanite of course.
Slightly more angry, he stepped out of the building and out into the courtyard of Anor Londo. He headed left once again and went down the stairs to reach a bonfire kept by a lady in armor.
''Well, you are a rare visitor. Welcome to the lost city of Anor Londo, chosen Undead. If you seek Lord Gwyn's old keep, exit here and head straight yonder. If you are the chosen one, a revelation shall visit thee. ...What follows thereafter, depends upon you...''
He barely reigned in his anger from those words. Although he felt like ripping this firekeeper in half it would mean losing a valuable bonfire. And even if he was unbearably mad he wouldn't commit senseless murder.
Only briefly stopping at the bonfire he left the room and went onto the other building to the left of the bonfire room. He encountered two more sentinels who once again fell to a single swing of his blade. He went up to the chest giving off signs on his soul sight.
*Stomp!* *Crunch!*
The mimic gave off a disgusting crunch as it was crushed underfoot by the undead's immense physical strength. He reached down to the flickering blueish flame and a crystal halberd was sent to his inventory. And the next chest which contained twinkling titanite.
He didn't really know why he bothered to keep looting chests with mediocre loot. Perhaps the small dose of dopamine? Regardless he left the room and continued to the lift.
But unfortunately for him, the lift was just going down which meant he would have to wait.
And for a man with eternal immortal life, he was very impatient. So he just threw himself off of the elevator waiting thing which definitely violated more than several OSHA codes.
'/{Fall Control}/'
The fall did nothing to him thanks to max-level fall control and he leisurely(as leisurely as a mentally unstable living bomb could be) made his way through London when a gargoyle swooped in with its halberd swinging down.
*Whoos!* *Boom!* *Grab* *Slam!*
He effortlessly sidestepped it and grabbed the gargoyle's throat. And twisted his body, slamming the gargoyle into the ground.
*Stomp!* *Splat!*
Shaking the bloody pull of the gargoyle's head off of his boots the carried on looting Anor London. But he only found a chest containing yet another demon titanite, which he had more than plenty of thanks to the massacre of several titanite demons.
He found the flying buttress he was supposed to go up and rushed up it, leaving dents in the buttress from his powerful footsteps. And once he saw the broken window he remembered he used combustion to shoot himself like a bullet through the glass.
*Crash!*
A painting guardian in light plate armor with white robes jumped down from the floor above and rushed at him with his tiny pair of swords. Which the deranged undead responded to by summoning the 2+ meter tall dragonslayer and bringing its wrath down upon the shocked guardian.
*Splat!*
Disregarding the brutalized corpse he slung the dragonslayer over his shoulder and summoned the dragon king's greatsword in his left. And made his way over the rafters. Summoning the heaviest of armor on himself. To the point, the rafters nearly broke under him.
*Clink!* *Clink!*
Thrown knives simply bounced off of him so the guardians had no choice but to engage up close.
Bad choice.
*SLASH!!!* *Fshhh!*
The guardians were slashed in half by the oversized blade swung by an inhumanly strong undead. This continued on as he cleaved his way through the rafters while keeping balance with acrobatics. It was considerably less stressful when you don't have to worry about falling due to being an immovable tank.
He managed to make it out of the rafters without so much as a scratch. The only notable thing he got there was a divine blessing. And when he checked the item with inspect, even with his mind clouded by rage he couldn't help but comment.
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<Divine Blessing>
Holy Water from the Goddess Gwynevere. Fully restore HP and undo irregularities.
The Goddess of Sunlight, Gwynevere, daughter of the great Lord of Sunlight Gwyn, is cherished by all as a symbol of bounty and fertility.
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'WUOOOOOOH! GAMER GIRL/GODDESS BATH WATER!'
He couldn't believe that Gwynewere bath water would be found this easily. In fact, he was tempted to chug it down right then and there but then remembered that it would be far, far more useful in other situations so he mournfully put it back in his inventory and resumed his march.
...
He had kicked the lever, ripped open the gargoyle, and acquired a decent ring. Along with looting the lower floor of the chapel, getting the black iron set and great magic weapon. He contemplated going into the painting but decided against it. He didn't remember what exactly was there but he knew getting out of there would be difficult. So he wanted to get the lord vessel as a guarantee before he went there.
So he approached the main gate to the cathedral itself. He had already dispatched the two sentinels with a swift slash of his blade. He went up to the door as he didn't feel like going around it through a back entrance.
'/{Deadman Style: Blaze Kick }!/'
*Bam!*
He kicked the door open and strolled in like a baller. He released chaos fireball after fireball at the silver knights and jumbo-sized sentinels that tried to stop him. Melting them to goop. After taking out the trash in his way he reached the fog wall and braced himself. And stepped through.
Standing before him was an absolute behemoth of a being with scary fat armor with ornamental decorations along with a grotesque and impractical titanic hammer. When he noticed me he went from his standby position to a fighting one. And while the shape of his soul was like a bundle of gnawing teeth that emanated a heavy pressure.
But it was nothing compared to Ornstein.
Above the arena, he looked down with a regal posture. He wore armor with a lion motif and wielded a long spear, designed to pierce dragon hide. He jumped down from the balcony and landed gracefully. His gaze pierced my soul. But what actually made me apprehensive was his soul.
His soul was like an unyielding torrent of thunder. But it wasn't wild, no it was calm and controlled. Emanating experience and skill. Yet it also gave off a crushing, dominating pressure.
In response, he brought out the deadman's blade and got into position.
'{Bla-
*Whoosh!* *Swching!* *Plop.*
[YOU DIED]
He spawned back at the bonfire, eyes wide open.
He could barely see Ornstein dash at him with lightning speed before his head got intimate with the cathedral floor. Yet it only reignited his rage as he rushed back with explosive speed.
...
[YOU DIED]
Yet again, all it took was one move. He couldn't even release an attack properly before the spear painfully impaled him. He spawned back at the bonfire and rushed again.
...
[YOU DIED]
Two moves. he managed to dodge the first one before getting impaled again.
...
[YOU DIED]
This time he had tried to be more careful. Only focusing on dodging but while he avoided Ornstein Smough's hammer turned him into pulp.
He died, again.
Sliced open, crushed, stabbed, beheaded, bisected, electrocuted.
Too strong. Ornstein was far too fast at least twice as fast as him who was used to oustspeeding his opponents. Smough was far too strong, to the point where even deadman style doesn't match his raw brute prowess.
But he is a non-threat when compared to Ornstein. in fact he could probably take out Smough by himself in 10 attempts.
Ornstein outclassed him in every way.
He was a Dragon slayer and an elite knight that has lived for several centuries if not more. He was graceful, elegant, and brutally efficient. he didn't treat this like a fight he treated this like taking out the thrash.
How many times had I died 10? 50? 80?
How many times have I landed a blow on him? 10 at most.
Even the initial anger I had gone in with was killed out of me. Now I was just dumbfounded.
He was faster than me.
He was stronger than me.
He wasn't that much dumber than me.
And he was also far, far more experienced and skilled.
There is no feasible way for me to win.
I had explored the entirety of close Anor Londo but still nothing of use. Emit force was good but not enough to carry me.
*Sigh*
What the hell do I do? I feel like I will crumble and go hollow any second now.
...
He suddenly shot up.
''Fuck. I forgot to feed Quelaan.''
He started hauling ass as fast as he could to Blighttown. He also used rapport to force the demons to go faster.
...
*Huff* *Huff* ''Fuck.'' *Huff* *Huff*
It had been a few hours since he started sprinting, even with his numerous stamina-boosting rings running for more than 5 hours while dealing with enemies put even him out of breath. But regardless he cast his invisibility stuff and reach Quelaan.
She was shaking. Probably from pain or even fear. I quşckly went up to her and kneeled.
< Offer 100 humanity? >
'Yes'
Immediately she stopped shaking and looked befuddled before she recognized me somehow even though she was blind.
''Mr. Undead? Is that you?''
''In the accursed flesh. Sorry for being late Quelaan.''
She cutely waved her arms which brought out a tired chuckle from me. The beast looked at me with judgemental eyes while the centipede grew still.
''Oh no! It is already enough that you bring me humanity Mr. Undead please do not worry yourself with me.''
I could only respond by sluggishly petting her head. And as I did so she looked... concerned.
/Why are you looking at me with those eyes!?/
''U-um Mr. Undead? Are you okay?''
''I'm alive.'' (Unfortunately)
She looked hesitant but still spoke her mind in worry.
''You don't look s-so well. I-I mean not look but act, yes.''
Ah, that makes sense. After all, she took the blight of everyone upon herself because of her empathy.
''I have been better.''
''A-ah if you don't mind could I do something for you? Since you have done so much for me I would feel really bad if I didn't do something in return. P-please?''
Ugh, if she looks at me like a kicked puppy then I just can't refuse. I nodded and she opened her arms wide while blushing profusely, most likely from shyness.
Then she reached over and pulled me into a hug.
''...?''
''U-um sorry if I cannot do much more for you! I would like to help you but t- this is all I can do, sorry.''
She felt warm. Even though the armor. The beast screamed to get back to the mission but I ignored it. Too tired to respond I just laid my head against her midsection for while. Basking in the shred of comfort.
''Mr. Undead, please do not lose yourself. You are strong, much stronger than me or my sister. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I'm not talking about the Blight. I can feel you are struggling, but I know you are strong mister undead!''
So this was why. This foolish girl had felt me going hollow. So silly. That's how she ended up with blight in the first place.
But, strength huh?
''Mr. Undead? Could you promise me something? Could you please return? I- I would be very lonely without you. A-and you still havent met my sister! A-
*Pat* *Pat*
She pouted. Puffing up her cheeks cutely.
''I am trying to be serious Mr. Undead! Please do not treat me like a child!''
''Alright, alright. I promise.''
She raised an eyebrow while still pouting.
''Pinky promise?''
*Chuckle*
''And you still say don't treat me like a child. Alright, pinky promise.''
Her smile brightened to that of a thousand suns once I shook my pinky with hers. Shining a warm spot on my cold, dead heart.
<You have forfeited the quest: Quelana's request >
Sorry, teach. Seems like your lazy disciple can't fulfill your request after all.
Demon girls are just too darn cute to refuse.
''Oh, and before you go I wanted to give this to you!''
She handed me a katana from underneath one of her spider legs.
''My sister told me to give it to you for helping me so much!''
<You have acquired the {Chaos Blade} >
''Send her my gratitude will you?''
''Alright, good luck Mr. Undead! Please do not forget to come back!''
'Don't lose yourself' huh?
''John Moore.''
''...?''
''It's my name, John Moore.''
Her smile brightened up even further if that was even possible.
''Good luck Mr. John!''
Waving back even though she couldn't see I made it out of the domain and homewarded back to Anor Londo. And recalled the scene of the chained door in my mind as I walked to the O&S arena.
As I walked through the fog I also walked in front of the chained door.
'I won't lose myself.'
And pushed it open.
Comments
James French
Fuck that’s wholesome
