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Chapter 72: The Indomitable Human Spirit.
🕑 Added 2023-02-14 19:48:58 +0000 UTCIgnoring the feeling of dissatisfaction I resumed what I remember to be my normal routine. I got up and headed toward the bathroom while looking around the room. Seeing the soulsborne merchandise really just made me feel something.
I do not know if it is good or not but it was certainly something alright. Considering the place I ended up at, it was the peak of irony that I used to idolize the soulsborne genre. I reached the bathroom and looked at the mirror.
But there was no reflection, the water felt cold and colorless but I still washed my face and took a cold shower then headed out to the small kitchen section of my apartment and took out cereal and poured some milk into it while I made some coffee.
The coffee tasted like dirt and the cereal tasted like porcelain. That gnawing feeling somehow affected my every action.
After finishing the empty meal I put on my work uniform and started walking down the road that I gathered was the road I used to take to work. The world seemed monochrome as I walked through the streets. Something was just lacking.
/Wasnt this what you wanted?/
I felt like the world meant nothing to me. Why did I feel like this? Wasn't this what I wanted? Didn't I fight for this? Was everything for nothing at all?
Did I even want this ?
Why does this life look so monochrome? Didn't I hate lordran so much? Isn't this all I ever wanted?
(then why did you fight so much?)
I finally got the peace and calm I wanted yet it feels even worse? I wanted this! I wanted this peace! I wanted this calm! I wanted to not suffer!
(you could have given up at any time)
I collapsed onto my knees. My eyes hollow.
I finally get my ending! I should be happy! In bliss! No pain! No death! I finally gave up! What more do you want!?
(Did you really want this?)
...what do you mean...
(Why did you fight?)
...To save Lordran...
(When you discovered that it didn't deserve the effort to be saved why did you continue?)
...because the people I like live there...
(Is that really the reason? You already knew how the world was. It wasn't like all of this was a big surprise.)
...shut up...
(was it because...)
...Shut u p...
(you simply wanted to?)
...
(There is a reason why it exists you know. The quote.)
{The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.}
(You forgot something about the words you spoke.)
(You enjoyed fighting those enemies and those hardships. It may have hurt, it may have been painful, it may have been suffering but it wasn't for naught.)
Visions of the girls flashed before my eyes.
(You deluded yourself into thinking you were not able anything, that you needed to exploit yourself for others.)
(Don't live for others. It is okay to be selfish.)
I remembered the first time I leveled up. The feeling of progress and power. The feeling I got when I first forged the dragon slayer. Accomplishment.
It was never about others. It was about me.
(Even when faced with the most unconquerable enemies you still tried. You stood against the impossible. You didn't take the easy way out not because you were stupid.)
(But because you were human.)
(trying again and again even if it seems futile isn't what makes you hollow. It is giving up that makes you hollow.)
(You aren't the dead man)
(You aren't the deranged hollow)
(You aren't Moore)
I got up and started walking forward again. In a street and view all so familiar.
(You didn't give up because it just isn't in your nature to do so.)
(This miserable pile of shit isn't you. It isn't you to give up. It is in your nature. That's why you have it.)
A familiar crosswalk. I stepped onto it.
(You are the one who defeated countless foes, killed but never defeated. You never give up.)
A smile adorned my face. How could I have been so stupid? Unlike before, I wasn't caught off guard, I turned on my heel and faced the truck coming toward me with open arms.
CRASH
The crash scattered the false world into a million pieces. And I stood in front of the figure once again.
Impossible? When has that ever stopped me? With nothing in my hands or body I started walking toward the figure who raised his sword high up in the air.
Near endless power converter on his sword, creating a blade of white and black flame that grew over 50 meters tall. Yet I didn't stop my steps.
The giant blade of flame fell upon me, the beam of incinerstion obliterated my body instantly.
[The tales were woven together.]
~~~~~~~~~~~
{Out of the night that covers me,}
{Black as the pit from pole to pole,}
{I thank whatever gods may be}
{For my unconquerable soul}
~~~~~~~~~~~
Yet, it still endured, the body somehow held together even as the beam of absolute power tore through it, skin and muscle burnt, organs melted and blood boiled yet the steps never faltered.
~~~~~~~~~~~
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
~~~~~~~~~~~
My body may have wanted to give up but my world didn't let it. It got reduced to a charred skeleton yet I still rushed toward the figure. My body turned to ash.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
~~~~~~~~~~~
My body reformed again and again. I am bloody but unbroken, dead yet still alive, my steps never stopped. The impossible never stopped me before. It wouldn't stop me now.
The flame got even hotter and hotter as I approached the figure. My body breaking down completely.
But.
[Actions woven together, legends made]
[All of you actions and achievements tell a tale]
[Your proof of existence ]
~~~~~~~~~~~
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~
[The Indomitable Human Spirit]
Even without a body I still pushed on. My soul forcefully materializing and pushing through the annihilation. Just like how Manus truly awakened his darksoul of man through his anger and grief I awakened mine. This was my definition of human.
Through determination.
[ You have created the miracle "Invictus" ]
The pillar of flame ripped even space apart. Pain beyond compare but I still pushed through. I, by all means, shouldn't be able to yet I did so anyway.
I am not just the deadman.
I am not just the chosen undead.
I am not just the deranged hollow.
I am human.
I am greedy. I am lustful. I am gluttonous. I am wrathful. I am envious. I am slothful. I am prideful.
It is not continuing against an undefeatable foe that makes you a hollow. Even if it seems impossible, even if the foe seems infinitely stronger, even if the gap is immeasurably large. Trying endlessly. Not giving up the faces of futility.
It is human to not give up. The darksoul responds to emotion and gets stronger. And mine is fueled by my determination. My soul broke over and over by the flames as a foreign yet familiar power invaded it.
Yet it reformed over and over again.
I wouldn't die until I said so. Eventually, I reached the end of the pillar of flame. Fractures, cracks, burns filled my soul to the brink, to the point where it looked like it could collapse at any moment. Yet I didn't. I didn't fall apart then and I wouldn't fall apart now.
We stared each other down. A deadman and a mere human. A god and an insignificant ant. An emotionless murder machine and a man. Two sides of the same coin.
I raised my hand, yet even that simple thing took an insane amount of effort, yet I still. Under the endless twilight of the darksoul I put everything into one thing. Everything I fought, every effort I exerted. I put into this punch to prove my existence.
I wasn't this fake reflection in front of me. I fight for myself.
I raised my fist and hit the fake reflection in front of me with all I had. Shattering it into a million pieces along with the entire dark abyss around us. Everything crumbled and I was back in reality. Manus stood in front of me once more. This time with a peaceful expression. His many red eyes dimmed to black. His body started to crumble as the very world around us started shaking.
Suddenly, an impossible amount of soul emerged from the crumbling Manus and it, along with the entirety of the abyss started rushing into my body. I felt like I was a small porcelain vase getting filled with millions of gallons of water.
Giant innumerable amounts of gashes started emerging from my body and gushing out blood and soul. My very vessel was crumbling. I knew it was certain death. That is, if it was anybody else.
"{Invictus}"
The expanding of gashes didn't stop but my body didn't falter. The pain was so great that it wasn't even pain anymore, it was just numbness. This went on for over 20 hours. The E N T I R I T Y of the abyss rushed into my body as well as the other part of the darksoul. But eventually, I persevered. I absorbed it all.
And there I stood fractured but whole.
I made it.
Comments
Kallize Serlize
Thanks for chapter, can't wait for more.
James French
Thanks for the amazing chap!
