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Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 26
🕑 Added 2025-04-14 02:07:42 +0000 UTCGood evening y'all. Sorry for the late post. Been a busy weekend. Chances are next weekend I'll actually be able to finally relax though! Or
Good evening y'all. Sorry for the late post. Been a busy weekend.
Chances are next weekend I'll actually be able to finally relax though! Or maybe I'll just be even more busy. We'll see.
I'll go into detail over why I was so busy in the Writing Update I'll write Soon(TM).
For now, here is the next chapter of Kaiju Slaying. It was...surprisingly challenging to write. I hope you lot enjoy it. If you do, lemme know in a comment.
=][=
Asuka kept her breathing slow and deep, maintaining the delicate mental balance necessary to synchronize with an Evangelion. The number on her screen fluctuated between eighty-two and eighty-six percent.
She was aware of the other pilots in the test plugs to her left and right. Rei lagged behind Asuka’s own score at seventy-six, Hikari was at a respectable sixty-eight.
Shinji sat at an immovable ninety-six percent. Where he had been the whole session.
She opened her eyes and looked at the test control room’s viewing port, where she saw the new one.
The Sixth Children. Holder of the new out-of-combat high record of ninety-seven percent synchronization.
She wasn’t yet certain whether or not his presence was a threat to the other pilots. The invincible Shinji’s position was secure, of course, how could NERV ever be rid of its golden goose of Angel Slaying?
But even if this new kid had been sent to ‘heighten NERV’s state of readiness’ Asuka knew the truth.
He’d been sent to replace the lowest performer, Hikari until recently.
Rei may be the lowest performer now, but that was due to her machine as much as anything else. Rei was saddled piloting the prototype, the Evangelion NERV used because it was better to have a shit machine now, than a production quality machine after the dust settled and the world probably ended.
No, the presence of the new guy was not a good thing. No matter how they tried to spin it.
Asuka, Rei, and Hikari had only recently managed to become an effective fighting unit in the simulator…and stupid Shinji too. One of them being replaced with a higher performing pilot who’d had none of the squad tactics training done would make them less effective, not more.
[Alright, that’s enough you four. We’re done for the day.] Ritsuko’s assistant egghead said. [Get ready for some more intense testing tomorrow. Repairs to the Evas should be completed tonight, meaning we’ll have to recalibrate them.]
[Alright.] Shinji said gruffly. [Thanks for the heads up, Maya.]
Ritsuko’s assistant, Maya, lit up at the recognition from Übermensch Shinji.
They were all let out of the testing plugs and made their way to the changing rooms to change into their street clothes. Meeting up with Shinji at the break room.
He looked irritated, followed closely as he was by the new guy.
Asuka stretched. “Man, it’s been too long since we’ve only worked a half day, what will you be doing?”
Shinji heaved an explosive sigh. “I was planning to have some me-time. But I have a feeling the new guy will stick to me like gum to my boot, so that’s down the shitter…” Shinji looked at her and Hikari with an appraising eye. “Think you guys can show him around?”
Asuka scowled. “Are you trying to pawn him off on us?”
“Yes, is it working?”
Asuka scoffed, but this was a valuable opportunity…“Who the hell is this guy anyways?”
Shinji shrugged. “Dunno, he just stalks me while I walk around NERV.”
The new guy looked affably bemused. “I’m Nagisa Kaworu. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Now that she had a closer look at him, the healing bruise on his cheek was painfully evident on his too-pale skin. She looked from the huge bruise, to Shinji’s gorilla-like hands, back to the new kid. Then turned to Shinji and put her hands on her hips. “Alright, what’d he do to deserve that?”
“Give him a minute.” Shinji growled low in his throat as the new kid, Kaworu, walked up to Rei and looked from the tips of her toes to the top of her blue haired head.
He leaned forward, getting right up against her face and muttered. “How interesting. You are so much more, yet so much less.”
Hikari took a scandalized gasp and physically pushed him away from Rei. “I understand you’re foreign, but here, that is getting way too close!”
Kaworu’s affably bemused smile returned. “Ah, my apologies. I was just intrigued.”
“Intrigued? In what regard?” Hikari asked, scowling.
“It’s my first time seeing somebody like me.” He said, his red eyes returning to Rei.
Hikari looked from one to the other. “Erm…An albino?”
Kaworu’s smile gained a mysterious edge. “Something like that.”
“I am not like you.” Rei whispered in her usual way, her words stated with iron hard conviction. “We are very similar. But I am not like you.”
Kaworu tilted his head like a bird, his smile changing again, but Asuka couldn’t quite parse what his smile hinted at. “I can see you believe that. But that’s not something that’s easily changed.”
“Asuka.” Hikari whispered. “I can’t tell if they’re fighting or if he’s flirting with her, and if he is, I’m worried for him.”
“And here I thought German college boys were the worst.” Asuka muttered back.
Kaworu took a step closer to Rei, leaning forward again. Only for the huge sapient wall that was Shinji to step in his path and none-too-gently push him away from his girlfriend. His face the type of calm it often adopted right before he became violent. “That’s close enough Casanova, cool it.”
Kaworu blinked confusedly for a few moments before his affable smile returned. “I see, my apologies.”
Shinji shuddered from head to toe. “Okay nope. I’m out.” He took Rei’s hand and began walking, Rei was at first dragged smoothly as her shoes did not find proper purchase on the floor before she started walking after her lover without complaint.
“Wait!” Hikari called out, running after the pair. “Rei is coming with us! We had plans!”
“Don’t care!” Shinji shouted back, moving faster and stopping his acceleration at the exact speed Rei found comfortable, which due to her short stature, was not very fast at all. “Deal with him! I’m out!”
Asuka sighed and began walking after them, waving at the new kid as an afterthought. “Come along then.”
“How very interesting.” Kaworu said, walking sedately alongside her.
=][=
“I guess rather than shopping we could go to an arcade?” Hikari sighed.
“Or we could just go shopping and make Shinji carry our bags.” Asuka offered.
“He’ll carry Rei’s bags without complaint, but can you be sure he won’t refuse to pick up ours?” Hikari asked.
Asuka opened her mouth, then closed it and tapped a finger against her chin in thought. “I’m sure we could get Rei to guilt him into it.”
Hikari shook her head. “We’d have to explain why she should guilt him into carrying the bags first. Which considering he’ll be right there…”
“You’re right.” Asuka sighed. “I guess we can go to an arcade.
“And for the last time, you can politely fuck off!” Shinji growled, stabbing his finger at Kaworu’s chest, physically pushing him back a step.
For the fifth time.
And just like the previous four times. Kaworu merely smiled serenely, Shinji shuddered from head to foot, turned his back on the albino boy, and walked away, pulling Rei with him.
And continuing his exact pattern. Kaworu walked behind him.
Asuka sighed. “He’s just as weird as Rei, but in his own way.”
“Why does he keep trying?” Hikari wondered as they continued to walk behind their friend, Shinji, and the new guy.
“Guess we’ve finally found someone as stubborn as Shinji.” Asuka answered.
Shinji walked past a store, Rei didn’t. Shinji jerked back comically when he realized his girlfriend wasn’t moving.
He looked from her, to whatever she was looking at through the glass, then let go of her hand and resolutely walked into the store.
“Wonder what that’s about.” Hikari said.
“It’s probably something dumb.” Asuka sighed.
After some time, Shinji walked out of the store holding a bag. He reached into it and pulled out…a stuffed toy that looked like Unit 00.
“Oh my god.” Hikari squealed. “That’s adorable!”
Seeing no reaction, Shinji put the toy back in the bag and pulled out a stuffed Unit 01. The Chibi little abomination was soon wrapped tightly in Rei’s arms, her chin resting on its soft stuffed head.
After a little time, they resumed walking, Hikari holding the white form of the stuffed Unit 04, while Asuka held the crimson Unit 02, its pudgy limbs splayed out adorably aggressively.
“Why did everyone get those dolls?” Kaworu asked Shinji, his pretty-boy smile at full luminescence.
“Fuck off, that’s why.” Shinji spat.
“This is starting to be painful to watch.” Hikari said at Kaworu’s latest rejection.
“Well, he’ll stop trying eventually.” Asuka sighed.
Hikari looked from the affably smiling new guy, to Asuka, and back again. “Oh, if only somebody smart, and brave, and brash, and confident could step in, and explain to him what he’s doing wrong.”
Asuka glared at her friend. “I know what you’re doing.”
Hikari smiled and tilted her head a little. “Is it working?”
“No!” Asuka grumbled, lengthening her steps to catch up to the new guy. Once she did, she grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him back a little before speaking. “Look, whatever you did. Apologize. Then drop the fake pretty boy act. It’s why he’s got his hackles up around you. He’s not the smartest, but he’s got a good nose for bullshit.”
Kaworu tilted his head. “But my research showed that this type of persona was ideal for fostering male-to-male friendships as well as positive relationships in general.”
Asuka scowled. “Your research?”
Kaworu nodded. “It was quite extensive.”
Asuka looked at Hikari with despair, her friend did not look amused. She sighed and turned back to Kaworu. “Goddammit. Look, just…just drop the pretty boy act. In fact, don’t try a different act or anything else like that. He’ll just react worse. He accepted Rei of all people, and she’s about as natural as a platypus.”
“There is no evidence of genetic engineering or other such manipulation on the development of the platypus, all evidence points to it having evolved naturally.” Kaworu interrupted.
Asuka snapped her fingers in front of his nose. “Not important! I mean he’ll react better as soon as you stop trying to act like something you’re not. There, advise given, you’re not my problem anymore.”
Asuka fell back to Hikari.
“Well?”
Asuka shrugged. “I…I think I got it?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
“Shush you.”
Kaworu sped up until he was very close to Shinji, all but stepping onto his heels as he walked.
Shinji turned slowly around, malice radiating off of him like heat. He turned a single gimlet eye at Kaworu, the muscles of his arms shifting beneath his skin like steel chords being put under tension. He spoke a single word laden with more meaning than most people put into entire speeches. “What.”
Kaworu, his face completely blank, said in a near-monotone. “Oh, I just find you fascinating. I got close to observe better. Please ignore me. I’ll ask if I have a question.”
Hikari slapped her palm onto her face. “You said you’d taken care of it!”
“I said I thought I took care of it!” Asuka hissed back, the both of them getting ready for impact and to shield their dolls in case they were in the splash zone.
Shinji gave Kaworu a long, piercing stare. “Whatever.” He grabbed Kaworu’s shoulder, pushed him a full arm’s length away far more gently than at any other time he’d interacted with the boy. “There.”
Shinji turned around and kept walking, Kaworu walking behind him, maintaining the exact distance he’d been allowed.
Hikari looked on, wrongfooted and flabbergasted. “What…What just happened? Asuka? What was that?”
Asuka took a deep, cleansing breath, before answering in a monotone. “You ever get the feeling that only weird people become Evangelion pilots?”
“But…But we are Evangelion pilots. Asuka.”
Asuka nodded sagely. “I think it may be rubbing off on me. Because I know I should find that weirder than I do. But I don’t.”
“Oh god. You’re right! What do we do!?” Hikari wailed with despair.
Asuka got behind her friend and pushed her forward. “We do what any competent, healthy adult does. We repress it and go on with our day.”
“I don’t think that’s healthy!”
=][=
Asuka sipped the Mexican apple-flavored soda that she could only find at the vending machines at NERV. She’d tried it because Rei loved the damn thing, and now she was rather hooked on it.
She walked past an open door, staggered to a halt, and walked back to the open door and looked in.
Inside was a fairly standard meeting room; big table, chairs, computer, projector, and a blackboard with an assortment of chalks of different colors. Shinji stood in front of the blackboard, chalk in hand, using it to draw a crude diagrams.
Seated at the table, were Kaworu, Rei, and a number of technicians Asuka could vaguely recall having seen walking around NERV facilities.
“So, you have this biggest circle, and that’s the public space.” Shinji said, continuing what was clearly a lecture that had been going for some time and pointing to the outermost circle he’d drawn in blue chalk. “Its minimum dimension on average is a 3.6-meter radius, and it extends out to whatever. This is the space where most people don’t really care to monitor who is there and what they’re doing.
“Then you have social space.” He said, pointing to a circle he’d drawn in green. “On average this space is the span between 3.6-meters and 1.2-meters extending out from a person. This is the space where people are comfortable conducting routine social interactions with recent acquaintances or complete strangers. This is the space you keep to when you’re trying to become more friendly with someone.
“Then you have personal space.” He said, pointing to a circle drawn in purple. “And this goes from 1.2-meters to .45-meters from a person. Friends and close acquaintances can freely occupy this space, in particular during informal conversation, but strangers are strictly forbidden.
“Then, you get one of the crux of the matter, this being intimate space.” Shinji said, pointing to the innermost circle he’d drawn in red. “It extends outward from a person’s body out to .45-meters in every direction. Only family, one’s lover, pets, and the absolute closest friends are allowed into this space. A mere acquaintance intruding into this space activates the amygdala and produces a fear-response. And depending on that person’s reaction to a fear response, you may end up in a physical altercation. Or it may just turn into a shouting match, or some passive-aggressive glaring.” Shinji put down the chalk and clapped his hands, a puff of chalk dust emitting from his palms. “Any questions?”
One of the technicians lifted a hand. “Why are the measurements all over the place? I can see they follow a pattern, but I can’t quite place it.”
“That’d be because the anthropologist whose research this came from was based in the US in 1960. And him, being American, used the dumb units instead of Metric to get it all figured out. The measurements he used were 1.5-feet, 4-feet, 12-feet, and 25+-feet. Which does not lend itself to pretty, whole numbers in metric.”
Kaworu raised his hand. “Is this why you reacted negatively to my getting close?”
Shinji held up a hand and moved it back and forth in a ‘so-so’ gesture. He then pointed to the purple and red rings on the board. “Part of it was that I didn’t know you, and you immediately started by encroaching on Personal and Intimate space. This came across more as an intimidation tactic, or a way to crudely attempt to assert social dominance. What you did to piss me off when we first met did not help matters.”
Rei raised her hand. “You never seemed to have that issue when I intruded on your personal and intimate space when we first met.”
Shinji nodded. “I’m a big guy, you’re tiny and adorable. Not only do you not impose much of a physical threat to me, but my entire gender literally evolved to want you in those spaces and to get in those same spaces on your end. Technically a bit sexist, but it is what it is. Other guys are competition, cute girls are a goal. That’s on average mind you, individual responses will vary.”
Asuka rubbed her temples.
The worst thing about this whole thing? She not only found herself interested, it made a certain amount of sense.
Another one of the technicians raised their hand, but Asuka never got to hear her question as the whole base rang with the Angel Attack siren.
Comments
Santo
Nah, that's just his brain acclimatizing to his new normal. He's still walking weird, but in-setting it's been long enough that he no longer comments on it, and most others who see him daily wouldn't either, other than to maybe thank him for his efforts.
Arkos Sloth
Binge read from the publically available chapters on QQ. Fun times. Haven't heard much from the Company end of things in a while in regards to these fights or Shinji's goals to fix his soul. He seems to be walking normally again over these last couple chapters. He get that fixed off screen and no one bothered to comment or something?
Santo
As someone who works in 'enguhneerin'". Boy do I wish we used the metric system. =_=
Santo
Glad to be of service!
Santo
Lol, not sure if Maya, but Rei... Well, you'll see. :3
Santo
He brought it up with Misato.
Santo
Because he knows the half-angel boy is there to stay. The girls will have to work with him too, and they'll all have to get along. In short? He just doesn't wanna deal with the consequences of letting them know about the killed kitten.
Santo
Well, the lowest technician that works at NERV and on an Eva are at the very least college graduates on the cutting edge of tech. NERV, by necessity, is crewed exclusively by the best and brightest. Meaning...NERV is chock full of nerds.
Santo
Hey! He can cite his sources! For the most part. XD
Santo
Far from an expert, but evidently read up on the matter. XD
Sir_dood134
"We do what any competent, healthy adult does. We repress it and go on with our day.” -- Hey, I resemble that remark! -- "And him, being American, used the dumb units instead of Metric." -- Ouch dude, what's with the personal attacks today?
Sksk4128
When you get the super nerds from University whose social skills most likely revolves around appeasing donors and sponsors for their research funds. It all kinda clicks they are the socially awkward people. Not sure why the regular technicians and soldiers are doing there though
aj0413
It’s actually concerning others in the base are apparently listening to him on this topic too lol
Templar9999
How to Human 101. That made me laugh more than it should.
Deathknight134
Didn't he bring it up with Ritsuko?
Deathknight134
Beautiful. Very nice chapter.. Kaworu is getting better, but I still don't like him. Though with this new info about "males want cute girls, see other males as competition" talk, I imagine he'll try to genderbend himself at some point. Now, when will Shinji breed Rei and drag Maya in~? Maya is always adorable, just like Rei is around Shinji~ And Rei always needs more fluff and romantic moments with her hubby~ 😁
Shorter than joe Mama
Wonder why he hasn't brought up the kitten...
Vicente Huerta
Shinji the social expert
