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Sexy Sect Babes: Chapter One
🕑 Added 2022-02-17 02:35:23 +0000 UTCAN: For those that aren't all caught up with the goings on of Blue Fishcake, I figured I'd make this pre-chapter note.
This is not the end of Sexy Space Babes. Jason's story will continue.
With that said, variety is the spice of life. And while I'm very excited about the next section of Sexy Space Babes (Ya'll have no idea!), I figured the end of the first trilogy to be a good point to try something else for a single book - lest I lose that enthusiasm and burn out on the universe.
Hence this series, which I will be working on for one book, before returning to Sexy Space Babes.
With that said, it's going to have all the stuff I think you've come to expect from me. Snark. Reversed sexual morality. Gratuitous violence. All that good stuff.
I've had a lot of fun creating the premise and I hope all of you will have fun with it too.
So, without anymore jabbering about my plans, let's finally get down to the actual product!
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“One in a billion.”
Jack kept repeating the mantra in his head.
“One in a billion.”
That was the number the Omni-Corps liked to cite whenever someone stepped onto one trans-mat pad and then simply… never stepped off the other.
“Safer than a car,” he repeated as he slogged through the snow, his mining overalls doing at least a passable job of keeping out the cold as he brushed aside a tree branch. “Safer than a plane. Or a starship. Safest form of transport in the Star League.”
He slammed his fist into a nearby tree, exo-empowered strength shattering it into little more than scattered bark and kindling.
“Yeah, well I never heard of a car ride stranding some prick in another dimension!” He roared, his voice echoing through the seemingly endless forest around him.
Then he kept marching. He’d seen the fire off in the distance. And given all the snow around, he sincerely doubted it was natural. Which left the unnatural.
Which meant people.
He hoped.
Because even if the trans-mat had screwed up, he doubted it had dumped him too far off the central finite curve. The fact that the air was breathable and that he could recognize the trees around him as oak told him that much.
And if the dimension he was in had trees native to Earth, chances are it would have animals too. Of which humans would hopefully be no exception.
“Because I’ll be damned if I spend the rest of my days talking to fuckin’ squirrels.”
No, if there were humans on this mudball, he was going to find them. One way or another.
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Guo An was amused as she beheld the nervous and sweating face of the man before her. She supposed that this little scene might have appeared a little peculiar to an outside observer. His bulk alone meant he loomed over her seated form like a mountain - even as he tried to keep his body language as small as possible.
All because of the jade amulet upon her wrist and what it represented. Proof positive that she was an Initiate Cultivator of the Second Realm. Though she was sure that any details beyond the fact that she was a cultivator would be lost on any of the observers present.
“You wish for me to what?” she asked slowly.
The mortal’s gulp was audible over the crackling of the inn’s fire, but to his credit he continued on. Or rather, repeated his earlier request.
“We would humbly beg that the esteemed cultivator aid in culling a beast that has slain a number of our precious livestock.” The village chief stumbled over his formal language. “This creature, whatever it is, has butchered near a dozen of our sheep over the past week… and just recently one of the village’s young hunters has gone missing.”
An was only listening with half an ear, absently rolling her cup back and forth. “Perhaps he simply got lost?”
“With respect master cultivator, that is unlikely.”
Oh, perhaps the man had some backbone after all? It took some courage to contend with a cultivator - even in a manner as gentle as he had. She knew cultivators back home who would have been inclined to kill any mortal that dared to challenge them so. After which, they would proclaim to all that their victim had been courting death by doing so.
Fortunately for the villager across from her, Guo An liked to consider herself to be of a far more temperate personality. If anything, she commended the mortal’s courage for acting as he did. It spoke of dedication to his role as leader of this village. Though she had to wonder if such audacity was borne of bravery or ignorance?
“Oh, why do you say that?” she asked, spearing the man with a single cat-like yellow eye.
The man swallowed nervously but continued. “Long Feng has been hunting in these forests since he was but a boy. He is, or was, amongst the most talented hunters in the village. He would not have gotten lost so close to home.”
There was no missing the pain in the man’s voice as he spoke of the boy’s possible fate. Though perhaps it was more apt to say likely fate, because if the young hunter had not gotten lost, his absence could only mean something had happened to him. And given he had likely been after whatever had been taking the village’s livestock…
Well, one did not need to be a Justicar to connect the dots there.
Still, for this mystery animal to take down an experienced hunter? Perhaps it was a spirit beast of some kind? That piqued Guo An’s interest. A spirit beast meant a spirit core, and now that she no longer had the support of her sect, she was quickly running out of cultivation supplies.
“Keep your payment,” she said, standing up. “This Guo An has little need for it.”
She sincerely doubted a village as small as this would have anything of interest to her. What use had she for sheep’s wool, copper coins or iron ore? To even be seen carrying such base items would only cost her face.
No, she would hunt this beast for the prize of its flesh alone.
“You may thank me for my generosity,” she added.
The man bowed quickly, no doubt in awe of her magnanimity, his ox-like horns nearly scraping the table as he bent at the waist.
Not that Guo An deigned to notice. She was already gliding up the stairs to her room. She would need to rest well if she intended to catch this beast come the morning. With any luck, she might discover the boy hunter to still be alive in the process, though she held little hope for such an outcome.
Still, she would try.
For she was a most beneficent young mistress.
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It had been a week since that conversation and she couldn’t help but wonder if she might have been better served by being less beneficent.
“Plug that gap!” the village chief roared, spurring the mortals around him forward as they sought to force back the hissing, barking and braying tide that sought to gain entrance through the village gates. Or any of the myriads holes that had formed in the cheap wooden palisade that ringed the village. “Buy time for the great cultivator!”
It was a farcical thing to see. Peasants with pitchforks and hoes striving to desperately drive back the horde of enraged animals. Even as she watched, the village chief roared mightily as he drove his farming implement deep into the side of an ornery goat. Meanwhile the man next to him tried desperately to avoid the savage swipes of a bear. A feat that was made all the more difficult by the tight press of bodies around him. Further back, a young man frantically tried to keep a particularly savage rabbit from gnawing on his ankles, while simultaneously keeping an antlered stag at bay.
All around the village perimeter, similar scenes played out, even as the horde of animals continued to make more holes in the palisade, spreading the defenders ever thinner.
It was an absurd sight, only made more so by the fact that the mortals were doing all of this to aid her. Buying time that she might recover her energies before once more stepping forth into the fray.
The shame of it burned her. Being forced to rely on mortals to cover for her lacking strength.
Such absurdity. To think that she might die here. Against animals.
Of course, she could still technically claim that it would be in opposition to the Great Enemy. For it was clearly some manner of fell technique that had driven these creatures into such an unnatural frenzy. She could think of no other reason for such unthinking bloodlust to come from so many disparate beasts. Wolves, bears, goats, snakes. Predator or prey, it mattered not. Indeed, it seemed like the entirety of the surrounding forest was falling upon this little hamlet.
And they all reeked of the tainted Ki of Instinctive cultivation.
“Could this be happening all across the Empire?” The thought sent shivers up her spine, even as she bisected a leaping goat that had broken through the mortals with a single negligent slice of her blade.
While she would have liked to think this strangeness an entirely local issue, she was not so foolish. Jiangshi was of no interest to anyone. If this was occurring in as lacking a hovel as this, the chances were good it was occurring everywhere. And for this strange new technique to have carried as far as Jiangshi itself…
“Well, it does not bode well for the greater Empire,” she murmured, stomping on a Two-Tone snake that had attempted to slither into the impromptu medical area that had formed in the village square.
She ignored the thanks of the healer woman, instead focused on the greater picture. If her suspicions were correct, it was entirely possible hundreds - if not thousands -- of villages were being annihilated at this very moment. All across the Celestial Empire.
And with them and the supplies they represented gone, it was entirely possible the planned counter offensive against the Unfettered at the Eternal Wall might collapse overnight. Strangled as both the military and civilian supply chains of the Empire ground were to a halt – or simply torn to shreds - by bands of ravening beasts.
“As expected of the Arch Traitor,” she muttered bitterly. “To use such underhanded means to avoid facing the righteous in battle herself.”
It galled her to admit, but it might well be effective anyway. Cultivators might have been the heart and soul of the Empire - but merchants and farmers were its lifeblood.
If this truly was the result of enemy action then it was a master stroke. A strike not to the head or heart of the empire, but its stomach.
She shook her head. “Focus on the task at hand.”
And what a task it was.
Oh, the beasts were no great challenge. Frenzied or not they were still just animals. As wheat before a cultivator on the first rung, such as herself. No, her issue lay with the creature that lead them. The same one she fought near a week previous.
It had been a spirit beast that had slain the hunter boy. A wolf. With a fur pelt as tough as iron and teeth like daggers. The creature had been swollen to unnatural size by the corrupted ki running through its meridians.
Her now missing eye throbbed under the bandages the local medicine woman had so hastily applied. She could only hope the wound she had left on it in turn hurt even half as much.
As if to answer her thoughts, she felt eyes upon her. From beyond the walls of the Jiangshi, at the precipice of the mighty forest that circled the town, the massive wolf prowled. Waiting for its opportunity to strike. Perhaps some might have attributed that to intelligence. They’d be wrong though. Powerful as spirit beasts were, they were possessed of no greater intelligence or ability to reason than their common cousins.
Even in the throes of whatever technique had it working with its usually prey in favour of attacking Jiangshi, the fact that it waited for the defenders to tire before attacking was more a result of wolf-like instinct than true cunning.
Akin to a pack of wolves or dogs bringing down a bear – as much as it galled Guo An to compare to herself to anything as uncouth as a bear.
She was a graceful half-tiger, after all. Even with her newly acquired fatigue and scars.
Unfortunately, it did not need grace or cunning to best her. As much as it galled her to admit it, the creature’s cultivation was greater than hers. It was stronger and faster - if not more skilled. Her glaive had more than adequately proven that in their first encounter, as evidenced by the way it now favored its front right paw.
She knew that skill alone would not be sufficient to bridge the gap between them. It hadn’t been the case when they first met, and it certainly wasn’t the case after she had spent a week defending the mortals of Jiangshi from assault by lesser beasts.
Which while not dangerous, had been taxing.
“Initiate Four? Five?” She wondered, staring up at the beast. She shuddered. “Perhaps even first of the Profound?”
She did not know. Though how such a monster had gone unnoticed while lurking in this backwater province for so long, she did not know.
“Lady Cultivator, it’s coming!” A young boy shouted, pointing with his spear. “The wolf is coming.”
She could see that. Far better than the mortal could. Fortunately for him, she was too tired to properly chastise him for presuming to outperform her. Instead, she simply pulled her glaive from the dirt and strode forth to confront the beast for what would in all likelihood be the last time.
“Father, know that this young mistress did not flinch before the end,” she murmured quietly as both beast and mortal retreated on some unspoken signal to allow room for the two titans of the battle to clash.
The beast leapt. At speeds that a mortal would be unable to see. Even Guo An herself struggled. Nonetheless, she slid to the side, her feet never leaving the ground as her glaive lashed out. And when the beast landed, it possessed a new bloody line across its flank. Indignant, it snapped at her with its massive maw, forcing An to slide back and out of range.
Still, the drawing of first blood gave her hope. For all its power, the wolf was an animal. Its attacks were telegraphed and its motions obvious. Here and now that seemed obvious in a way that it hadn’t deep in the gloom of the forest.
Fast though, An thought as the wolf leapt again.
Once more, she managed to score a blow upon its flank as she deftly avoided the creature’s outstretched claws.
Around her, the mortals cheered, and she was forced to resist the urge to chide them for their foolishness. They should have been focusing on the foes before them, not her. The other corrupted animals had not stopped their assault merely because the strongest among them had come forth to fight.
For why would an animal care for the honored traditions of a duel? The presence of the strongest among them was merely an excuse to renew their assault. And she could not afford for the mortals to be distracted. Were her erstwhile allies not present, she would be contending with a myriad smaller beasts in addition to the wolf – and that would quickly prove a deadly distraction.
One she did not need. Not with a foe like the one before her commanding the entirety of her attention.
For what would have proven deadly strikes to any other creature, proved mere inconveniencies to the beast. She had felt it from the very first blow. Her cuts had been shallow. The iron hide of the creature had reduced her ki enhanced strikes to mere papercuts. Such was the difference between a cultivator of the Initiate Tier and one likely on the very cusp of the Profound.
“Come at me,” she hissed at the creature as it continued to circle her. “Dare to challenge this young mistress’s blade.”
She hoped to goad it into leaping once more. For, as any warrior knew, the moment an opponent's feet left the ground they were easy prey. The arc of their flight set in stone. Unfortunately, the wolf did not oblige her. A new wariness had entered its once maddened gaze. Eyes flicking between the point of her glaive and the vulnerability of her throat.
How unfortunate that even a beast might learn to avoid actions that cause it pain, she thought. Were that men and women were as wise.
Had she any sense at all, she would have fled the moment the beast took her eye all those days ago. Abandoned the village to its fate. None would have gainsaid her choice. For even the dragon bowed before the might of the storm.
And what manner of fool perished for the sake of mere mortals?
And the wolf was a storm as it came upon her once more. Rear legs now firmly on the ground, it was a snapping snarling mass of teeth and claws. One that forced her to back-pedal frantically lest she be overcome and borne to the ground by the sheer power of the assault.
Every blow she turned aside felt like she was being struck with the jarring force of a hammer. Vibrating up her arm and sapping the very strength from her bones.
Still, even as she desperately defended herself from his attack, her foe provided ample openings to counter. Which she did with much gusto, though with little in the way of results. If the wide swipe of her two opening strikes served to provide mere skin-deep cuts, her many smaller slashes and thrusts achieved even less.
Truth be told, she knew not if she even drew blood at all. Perhaps if she could strike the eyes that might change, but her foe proved canny enough to avoid those blows.
Instead she was steadily driven to the edge of their impromptu dueling circle. The sounds of combat rang out behind her as the battle between the mortals and their beastly opponents continued. Another step in that direction and she knew she would be subsumed into the ongoing melee.
And that would be fatal.
Just as it had been in the forest where they had first clashed, the close confines would turn the long reach of her glaive from a boon to a flaw. At which point, the beast would be upon her. And she would die.
Though that fate awaits me should I choose to stand my ground too, she thought as she tried to keep the beast’s questing maw at a distance with the tip of her weapon.
She had been cornered.
Glancing around, she searched for an opening that she might take to escape the increasingly close confines.
Something! Anything! she thought with a desperation most unbefitting of a young mistress.
…An arrow clattered off the wolf’s side.
“Lady Cultivator!”
The ongoing duel between the two titans of the battlefield stilled at the sudden interloper in their midst.
Guo An’s eyes widened as she beheld the same village boy from earlier step into the ring, bow in hand. He looked as exhausted as she felt, blood streaming from a wound on his brow as he clumsily attempted to notch another arrow.
Even as she used the opening his actions had provided to escape the corner she’d been forced into, she cursed him for a fool. What was he thinking? To step into a fight between cultivators!? He was courting death!
Something the wolf seemed to agree with. Frustrated at the loss of his foremost prey, it seemed his predatory instincts were unable to ignore such a blatant challenge from such a lesser organism.
She swung out with her glaive, trying to keep its attention on her, but that was a doomed hope from the start. The wolf was just that much faster than her. Her weapon stretched forward only to hit empty air as the creature deftly turned bounded toward the boy – who had suddenly froze in terror.
In some ways it was a minor cruelty that her earlier actions had given the animal an aversion to leaping. Had it done so, the boy might not have even seen his death coming. His last thoughts of his momentary success rather than his imminent doom. As it was, he could perceive the massive animal quite clearly – even if he lacked the ability to evade it.
Guo An’s heart sank as she realized she was about to witness the brave but foolish mortal’s death. As it stood, she could only swear in her heart that she would not waste the opening his brave actions had created. With the beasts back turned she could-
Something slammed into the wolf with the force of a runaway carriage – flying on wings of fire.
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Christ, that was a big fucking wolf!
Emphasis on was because three hundred pounds of rocket assisted boot had little trouble caving the damn things chest in.
Still, what the hell was that thing made of? Jack winced a little as he hit the ground. Because I’ve kicked softer boulders.
Still, possible comparisons to solid rock or not, the oversized animal wasn’t getting up again any time soon. Though the fact that a caved in chest was all his kick amounted to – and not him flying through the damn thing like some kind of grotesque Kool-Aid man – gave further credence to his growing theory that this was not a regular planet.
No, it seemed his little trans-mat mishap had dumped him onto one of those ‘thaumatallogically charged’ worlds the eggheads back home were always going on about.
Which was not ideal. For any number of reasons.
Could be worse though, he thought as he looked up at the massive crowd of both people and animals that were now staring at him. I could be dealing with some Lovecraftian shit as opposed to knock-off Magical China.
And it definitely was magical, because even ignoring the ongoing cross-species animal uprising going on – for which he had no explanation beyond magic - he’d seen corpo-cops hopped up on combat stims with less flashy moves than the cat girl with the giant spear.
Also, she was a cat girl, which again suggested the laws of nature were a little fucky around these parts. This was further emphasized by the fact that said feline inclined young woman was not alone in having an extra feature or two.
Just about all the villagers he could see had something. Goats eyes, horns, the odd tail here or there. None of which were things that would ever have occurred naturally in nature. Certainly, not with such variety.
…At least, according to what he only sort-of half remembered from high school biology. So it was all too possible he was wrong.
I might not be though, so until I’m proven wrong; magic world. So it was likely in his best interests to show off a little. This is my boom stick you primitive screwheads, and all that jazz.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have a boom-stick. His suit didn’t have any weapons. As much as he wished otherwise.
Not that he didn’t understand the reasoning for it. After the massacre of Half Canyon, the omni-corps as a whole had gotten a little more leery about providing barely literate miners with the means to slaughter one another.
Replacements weren’t cheap after all, and ignoring the cost of the HEV itself, teleporting some sod halfway across the solar system was a rather costly process.
So, later models of the HEV were equipped with ‘deterrents’ instead of ‘weapons’. Which essentially boiled down to the average miner having nothing capable of puncturing the shell of another HEV, while still having a few tools up to the task of deterring any local fauna that got a little too interested in the contents of said suits.
Usually, he thought, sneaking a surreptitious glance at the dead wolf.
Because he had a sneaking suspicion that thaumatallogically charged fauna would inevitably prove to be the exception to that rule.
Fortunately, he had ample means to test that theory, given the rather large array of rather hostile looking critters present – who were still synced with their human shaped enemies, staring at him in open mouthed shock.
Which was a little eerie now that he thought about it. Given that this was a magical world… Was it possible these were thinking animals? Like out of a kids book?
…Had he just killed the Chinese Magical equivalent of Mr. Wolf?
He mentally shook his head. Nothing for it now. What was done was done. More to the point, he guessed he had about two more seconds before said ‘possible thinking animals’ shock wore off and they returned to the outright rabid behavior they’d been engaging in before he’d arrived.
“HEV. Target non-humanoids.” He brought both hands up.
“Targeting.” The suit’s Dumb-AI responded.
Grinning, despite his private reservations about what he was about to do, he did his best Palpatine impression as he raked his fingers across the crowd.
With lightning spewing forth from his fingertips.
“Power.” He shouted within his helmet. “Unlimited power!”
…Which was not strictly true. His power was very limited until he got a thermo-harvester set up, but for the moment he’d allow himself to indulge the fantasy.
Which he did, smirking to himself as the crowd of sort-of humans cried out in surprise and fear as the electricity… passed harmlessly over them, before electrifying – though cooking might have been more apt – the animals near them.
In seconds, every animal present was a smoking, twitching mess.
And likely very dead.
Sure, technically speaking, the electro-cuffs were supposed to be strictly non-lethal, but that was easily fixed by setting the stun setting to mega-fauna and calling it a day.
He was also glad to see he hadn’t hit anyone either. The HEV’s targeting software could be a little finicky like that. It was a pretty perfect example of ‘computer’ dumb. Which was a good part of the reason why the omni-corps bothered with human operators rather than mining-probes.
The crowd looked a little shell shocked as they realized that they were perfectly fine - and the enemies that had just been trying to kill them all very much weren’t.
Which he didn’t blame them for.
Then one of them – a big old bastard with a massive spear in his hand and equally impressive horns on his head – raised his spear and started cheering.
“All praise the Master Cultivator! Lord of Lightning! The savior of Jiangshi!”
That seemed to be all the prompting the rest of them needed. Soon enough, Jack was surrounded on all sides by cheering villagers.
He soaked it up, simply standing there and letting the roars of the crowd wash over him.
Admittedly, despite how much he was enjoying the entirely undeserved praise, he was a little disappointed. Part of him had kind of been hoping they would crown him as a living god for his own little show of ‘magic’.
Alas, it seemed that the occupants of a thaumatallogically charged world needed a little bit more than flight, a drop kick and a little lightning to start worshiping a guy.
Fortunately for him, he had much more up his sleeve than a single rocket assisted kick.
Much more.
For now though, he would bathe in the satisfaction of being commended for something that had required near zero effort on his part.
Though he couldn’t help but note that one person wasn’t cheering. The cat-girl with the bizarre sword-spear thing was eying him.
Consideringly.
Comments
Carlos Torres
So is Jack from The Riftbreaker game?
Mantarok1205
MOAR! MOAR!!!!!
Shorlas Magaskawee
I suspect he was glad to be forgotten while he goes somewhere to change his pants. He almost just took a dire wolf to the face after all.
Did that hunter boy get lost, get eaten by the Big Wolf, or did he simply go on a nice vacation to a lake?
Blue Fishcake
Ya boy has wanted to write something like this ever since he started reading Savage Divinity way back when. A desire that has only intensified since Beware of Chicken came out :D
astatine
Have you been bit by the "Amazing Cultivation Simulator" bug, or have you always been a nerd for Confucian mythology?
Ripley Riley
I mean, if I search for "xianxia" on novelupdates.com I get 288 results, and that's just one site. I bet RR has more. I'm not sure how fresh I would call that. The genre seems pretty well trodden.
Blue Fishcake
I won't deny that Beware of Chicken was an influence, but more in the sense that I think it makes for a damn cool setting. It's like the classic western fantasy trope, but just alien enough for it all to feel fresh again.
He is the senate
JT
Props on the Army of Darkness quote
Ripley Riley
Oh man xianxia? That is certainly a very smart business decision...
Nicholas Payne
Nice! A change to genre is awesome, more please =D
