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De'Vas Chronicles Book 4: Chapter 14

🕑 Added 2025-06-27 01:38:45 +0000 UTC

Comments

Pixel

'they didn’t need to be told twice and quickly left the booth' - I'd flip the order here to make it less garden path-y 'cook you from the insides out' - I'm pretty sure this shouldn't be a plural

Chase Kilgore

Yeah I’m going to replace it when something that conveys the same information but with much better flow. Thanks man

Storm1718

“Why such an annoying activity by humans had caught on among the paranormals, given that many possess heightened senses of hearing. He would consider such places as this ‘club’ a form of torture.” The whole sentence feels off. Maybe try “Given that many possessed a heightened sense of hearing, it was baffling that such an annoying human activity had caught on among the paranormals. He would consider places like this ‘club’ as a form of torture.” Idk it still sounds a little off but I get what you were trying to say. Thanks for the chapters!

Logan

Guess its time for Ash to begin training again. He doesn't have Lilly's potions, but does have Selena's healing which enables him to try different combos with Sparky. If he plans to eventually kill Victor, Kaito is a good stepping stone. It's always been a bit of a David and Goliath situation for Ash.

Posiden 300

Honestly thought it was "Silver" killing the other bosses.


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