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De'Vas Chronicles Book 4: Chapter 29

🕑 Added 2025-08-03 20:49:20 +0000 UTC

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Not a clever man

Just reread this, and thought this line seems slightly off? "Miller had always enjoyed Mei’s Den..." I mean, how long has he even been in De'Vas at this point? Can you say you have always loved a place that you have only been to once or twice in a weeks' time? Just something to think about...

Chase Kilgore

Thanks again! Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

Pixel

'dining room watching' - missing comma 'poured a bottle of wine' - 'poured from' or 'poured a glass' (unless she's so nervous she's filling up a bottle to drink from, I won't judge :P) 'I’ll wave you done when' - just noticed, as I was writing, that this was already noted by Not a clever man ^^ However, as opposed to the missing period, I felt this important enough to point out again ^^ '“I’m listening,” Agatha said.' - no proofing notes, only a half-hearted protest against this cliff-hanger... I mean, I love it it, but now I want that scene to continue! (Don't change a thing, it's perfect :P) 'she asked narrowing' - missing comma 'never set right' - typo, should be 'sat' 'my mind I’ve' - I think maybe a comma here. I think. Maybe. Honestly not sure... I am so excited to see what'll happen the next few chapters ^^ It feels like everything is coming to a head ^^


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