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Feral Mage Book 3: Chapter 6

🕑 Added 2025-09-02 19:29:40 +0000 UTC

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Chase Kilgore

Thanks man! Got it fixed

Pixel

'Her question had another purpose: to sate her curiosity' - this sentence feels really out of place. I think it's because it's stating the obvious - read on, and can see what it's referring to now, but that just changes the problem 'hell maybe' - missing comma here 'before she gently patted Omelet on the back until he moved off her before she stood from the bed' - the double 'before' here doesn't scan well. This would flow better if rephrased 'knew both girls' - 'the girls'. 'both' would mean the each did it on their own :P 'They both were close in age' - strike 'both' here. Same reason, unless there's some third party they're both close in age to ^^ 'Regular. Vex will drag us into playing her version once she’s bored' - I like how you write your characters ^^ They're always fun to metaphorically hang out with ^^


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