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Feral Mage 3: Chapter 20

🕑 Added 2025-10-13 15:26:19 +0000 UTC

Comments

Pixel

For the opening, kinda missing some sort of indication for how much time has passed, unless it's vitally important to keep hidden for some reveal later. It's a little hard to figured out exactly how worried I should be for Bryce, if I don't know if it's been 20 seconds or 10 minutes 'Where’s Bryce!' - this is a question, but a simple question mark doesn't really carry the right energy.... hmm.... Maybe '?!' would work? Not sure, but I kinda want a question mark in there somewhere 'the abomination next, mostly to injure it' - we're talking about 'kill order', right? So he wants to kill the abomination 'mostly to injure it'? :P I'd suggest something like '... attack the abomination next ...' ^^ 'They wish to mock my children, then I will show them my children' - this doesn't flow quite naturally. Adding an 'if' to the beginning would fully solve it, unless it's on purpose

Ryvius

So the goddess can summon monsters, I'm presuming to Bryce's location since he's her campion and she's seeing through his eyes. That can be useful... or really, really bad, depending on the situation. interesting development either way.


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