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27. Guardian
🕑 Added 2024-12-22 01:50:28 +0000 UTCA/N: Hello everyone. I'm back. Still tired, but working again. I will probably need another extended break in January, since that's when we'll be scattering the ashes, so heads up for that. In the meantime, enjoy the chapter!
"Whatcha thinkin' about, Eliza?"
I blink, the answer to Chloe's question temporarily vanishing and leaving me confused as her words jostle me out of my own head. Thankfully, my train of thought returns to the rails quickly enough for me to figure out what to say.
"Aurora's family invited me over for dinner today," I tell her.
"Oh! That's nice of them. Do you know them well?" She asks.
The two of us are hanging out together, as we have for most of the summer. We're mostly just walking around today, though. Hanging out. It's quiet, but it's nice.
"Well, I know Aurora well, kind of. But I've never met her family," I explain. "It doesn't really come up much. Generally speaking, we like to keep our families as far away from our work as possible."
"Oh, I see," Chloe nods. "Aurora is one of the kids on your team, right? I think it's great that she wants you to meet her family."
"Yeah, it is," I nod. "I'm just not really sure how to meet them."
How is this not obvious? They're humans. We meet them as a human. End of discussion.
"What do you mean?" Chloe asks.
"It just feels weird hanging around Aurora as… you know, an adult," I admit.
That's because it is weird! But you're still an adult when you look like a kid, so it's not like it's any less weird!
"You're saying you want to show up as Minerva?" Chloe asks.
"Well… yeah, I guess," I shrug awkwardly. "I mean, I am Minerva. I'm just worried it would be… creepy? I don't even know why I turn into a kid when I transform. I don't really act like one. It's totally creepy, right?"
"...Well, I think it's only creepy if you make it creepy," Chloe answers slowly. "I mean, okay, there's no good way to ask this, so just to bluntly get it out there… it isn't a sex thing, right?"
"No!" I shudder. "A thousand million times no. I'd break the arms of anyone who tried something like that."
Thinking about it now, the fact that my child form is something that society universally condemns sexualizing might be one of my favorite things about it? I… don't want people to see me that way. At all. Ever.
Woah. I didn't realize it was that intense for you.
I don't think I did either? I kind of go out of my way to avoid thinking about stuff like that, and you don't really think about it much either.
Yeah, I guess I don't.
"That's about what I thought," Chloe nods. "Does Aurora's family know how old you are?"
"I… have no idea," I admit. "Aurora knows, but I don't know what she's told them."
"Well then there's a chance they won't see you as an adult in a child's body. They might see you as an actual child. Is that something you want?"
I frown, rolling the question over in my mind a few times as we walk down the street.
"I have no idea," I admit. "I like it when my team doesn't treat me like I'm nearly twice their age, but I don't know if I'd like other people treating me like I'm half their age? It's never really happened before. I don't talk to anyone other than my team and Uma'tama when I'm in my real body."
Chloe suddenly stops walking. I stop as well, glancing nervously back at her, and she raises an eyebrow at me.
"Your 'real' body?" she asks.
"…Yes?" I hedge. "I mean, it's my incarnate form. It's literally the incarnation of… me."
"Oh," Chloe says. "Well, that settles it, then. Go as Minerva."
Oh my god no.
"R-really?" I stammer.
"Yeah, of course!" Chloe encourages with a smile.
"Well, I'm also worried that I'll come off as too… impersonal," I backpedal. "Like, who shows up to a family dinner in full combat regalia?"
"Is it really combat regalia if it includes the skirt?" Chloe asks.
"I mean, yeah?" I answer. "It might not look practical, but it's still the outfit I kill monsters in. It's the clothing that everyone associates with… you know, the local Earth Guardian. According to what you told me, that might be a little uncomfortable for hu—er, normal people, and it probably won't be very casual for Aurora if she's constantly seeing me in work mode."
"Well then just wear something else," Chloe shrugs. "It's not like there's anything stopping you, right?"
"I don't… have kid-sized clothes," I tell her. "Why would I?"
"For literally all of the reasons we just talked about!" Chloe insists, throwing her hands up in the air. "That's it, it's settled. We're going shopping."
"What?" I blink.
"We're going shopping! For clothes that you can wear while casually hanging out in your self-described 'real body!'" Chloe exclaims. "Oh my gosh, this is gonna be great! I've always wanted a little sister I could dress up."
"Um. Huh?"
God damn it this is going to be so embarrassing! Tell her no!
Clothes of my own…?
I said tell her no god damn it!
"I-I don't have any money," I blurt. "I can't…"
"My treat," Chloe says.
"I couldn't possibly—"
"My. Treat."
I hesitate, trying to think of a way out, but Chloe barrels on before I can say anything.
"There's no way you're getting out of this now, Minerva. You've got me way too excited!"
God fucking damn it.
"O-okay," I manage.
I can't believe you're letting this happen.
Chloe practically drags me down the street, rushing through town until we come across a nearby department store. Once inside, I can barely do anything other than quietly freak out as I watch her scour the shelves for things to try on. I have no idea what my clothing sizes are in my incarnate form, so she grabs several of the same outfit from off the racks before pushing me towards the changing rooms.
"Isn't it going to be really weird when I walk into a stall as an adult and come out as a child?" I whine.
"I mean, not as weird as doing your entire flashy transformation out in the open," Chloe says. "And it's fine! Nobody's even looking. They won't notice."
I mumble a few more wordless protests before getting shoved into a stall, the clothes in hand. Am I seriously going to do this?
Don't. Do not do it. Just walk back out of that stall and hand the clothes back.
But why?
You know why! This whole thing is weird as hell!
But it's not fair.
What do you mean, it's not fair? Life isn't fair.
You get to dress us up in whatever clothes you want. Even when we're in human form, we look more or less like you. Our body feels like yours. I never get to be me unless we're fighting. It's… it's not fair.
You seriously want to walk around town looking like a normal kid? You want to hang out with Chloe all day looking like a ten-year-old?
I don't know! Maybe? Yeah? I know it's weird and creepy, I just… I didn't choose this, okay!? I never decided to exist this way. It's not normal, but we're not normal. Nothing about us is! Will this really be so bad? Isn't it okay for me to hang out with my friend as myself for once?
…
Well?
Do what you want.
I take a deep breath, letting it slowly out. In, and out. In, and out. Like Castalia taught me to do, if I thought I was being too angry, too scared, or generally too emotional at all the wrong things. Castalia never leaves her incarnate form. She'd probably want me to do this too, and Chloe… well, she's already been quite insistent. So really, what am I waiting for?
"Oɴᴄᴇ Aɢᴀɪɴ, I Fɪɢʜᴛ."
Thankfully, there isn't anyone else in the changing rooms to notice the light show coming out from underneath the stall. I change the same way I've changed hundreds of times, and as always, when it is over, I feel so much better.
"Bʀᴀᴠᴇ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇss Dᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ Mɪɴᴇʀᴠᴀ."
My usual outfit appears around me as it always does, but I can make it disappear just as easily, unsummoning most of it with an act of will. I place the clothes Chloe handed me over the remaining underthings, trying out the various sizes and finding the one that fits me best before awkwardly exiting the changing room, more than enough fear pounding in my heart to sustain my incarnate form for the rest of the day.
"Um," I hedge quietly, peeking back out into the main area of the store. "Hey, Chloe."
Chloe's entire face seems to stretch a little as her eyes open wide and her jaw drops towards the floor. Her hands come up to press against her cheeks, and she starts letting out a high-pitched squeal of excitement. It's embarrassing. It's also a little odd having to crane my neck up to look at her, but that, at least, feels right.
"Eeeeeeee! Oh my gosh you are so adorable!" Chloe squeals. "Ahhh, you're even cuter than I thought you would be! Is that really you?"
"I-it's me," I confirm, shifting my weight awkwardly. It's a lot easier to feel her emotions like this, and I can't help but be surprised to not feel even a single mote of disgust. It feels like there should be some.
"Okay, okay, you have your sizes now? We have got to try on more outfits. Oh! I should take pictures of you so you can see what you look like!"
"…I mean, there are mirrors in the changing room, so—"
"I should take pictures of you."
What follows is a whirlwind of clothes and embarrassment. Chloe seems to have no end of outfits she wants me to try on, and I can do little more than follow the tide as she continues dressing me like a doll. It's an odd experience in so many ways. I've never done this before, never really explored what I like to wear. I guess I'm still not really sure.
A lot of my preferences are similar to Fulgora's, but is that because I actually enjoy dressing the same way or just because I can feel her disapproval leaking into me whenever I put on anything too girly? My incarnate outfit has a skirt, so I feel like I shouldn't really mind skirts? And I don't, I think, but I really don't like the idea of wearing one to meet with Aurora's family. Skirts are part of my butt-kicking outfit. I want clothes that will remind me that this isn't a fight.
So no skirts. No green. This is my chance to try something new, right? Something casual.
"What about just shorts?" Chloe asks. "It's pretty hot out."
"Shorts are a little too casual," I hedge. It doesn't feel right. "I'm immune to the heat like this anyway."
"Hmm…"
What about those slacks? Fancier than cargo pants, but not too formal.
I'm not sure I like the color…
What's wrong with black?
I don't know, it's just very… you.
I am you.
Well, we have different opinions on black.
Dark blue, maybe?
No! I don't want to look sad.
"Minerva?" Chloe prompts, causing me to look up at her.
"Hmm?"
"Whatcha thinkin' about?"
"Colors," I answer. "I don't want to wear green. Or black. Or blue. Or red. Definitely not purple."
"Um, yellow could be a cute color for a shirt," Chloe says.
"…That's Aurora's color, though. Would that be weird?"
"Okay, uh, what about brown?" Chloe suggests, looking like she wants to ask a question but doesn't think she should. "Like your stone."
Seems kind of tacky.
"I kind of like that idea," I admit.
Really?
Brown is you and me, together. Cooperation, self-discovery. The things we've been working towards since we started training with Castalia. Brown is the color that represents what we want to be.
Hmm. Okay, I can see it.
"Alright, how about brown for the pants and… uh, geez, there's not really a whole lot of other colors. White and pink? For the shirt? Would that work with brown? Maybe if there's not too much pink…"
It takes a while, but Chloe manages to assemble an outfit I'm pretty happy with. The light brown slacks give me the color I want while still just being a normal color for pants, and the mostly white shirt offsets the whole thing from being too emotion-coded. Even the pink accents aren't really a representation of red; emotional colors tend to be pretty saturated. Come to think of it, maybe a pastel blue wouldn't be too bad either. I guess I could buy something like that later.
…Later?
Don't give me that. I'm actually having fun! Chloe doesn't seem to mind! I'm enjoying this a lot, I definitely want to do it more.
Chloe's probably just being nice. You know what she's like.
I… maybe, she could be. But at the very least she's not upset by it! She's a good friend, a really good friend. It's like she knew in advance how much I'd like this.
…Yeah. Yeah, maybe she did. I just… we don't have a lot of control over who is in control. And the more time we spend looking like this the more likely I'll end up wearing your incarnate form. I'm really not comfortable with that? I can't exactly end the transformation if we're wearing real clothes. I don't think it works in reverse.
You can just change back in a bathroom or something. Come on, I have to be big all the time! You can handle being a little small. We have to make compromises since we're sharing.
Ugh. I guess you're right. Sorry. I know how excited you are about this. I'll try not to complain.
Thanks, Fulgora.
"You. Look. Perfect," Chloe squees. "Oh my gosh you're the cutest thing I've ever seen! I can't believe you never did this sooner!"
"U-uh, I mean, I didn't really know I… was me?" I admit, unable to stop a blush from heating up my cheeks. How was I supposed to know that the intrusive thoughts in my head were straight-up an entire other person? How was she supposed to know her intrusive thoughts were me? We share memories, we swap between each other without apparent rhyme or reason. Our minds are sometimes clearly distinct, but sometimes they're a seamless blend, with no apparent line between us.
"I can't really say I get it," Chloe says, and I realize she's been staring at me with a sad smile. "It seems complicated in ways I probably don't have any context for. But I'm glad you know who you are now, Eliza. …No, sorry. Minerva. I'm really, really happy to get to see you smile."
H-huh? But I wasn't… oh. I guess I have smiled a lot today. Getting pulled around by Chloe has been overwhelming, but… enjoyable. I really like getting to see myself in the mirror, trying on new clothes. I never knew how much I wanted this.
And it's not just me. Chloe has been happy. Sometimes, random strangers will watch us for a little while and I'll feel them get happy, vicariously soaking in what looks like a joyful moment between sisters. People aren't looking at me with concern, fear, or pity. Dressed like this, no one sees Brave Princess Dutiful Minerva. It's just Minerva. And I never knew what that was like until now.
Even I have to admit it. It's… nice. As weird as it is, it really is nice.
I feel the tears well up and start to fall all at once, quickly moving my hands to wipe them away from the corners of my eyes. A spike of panic wafts off of Chloe immediately, so I quickly chime in before she can say anything.
"G-good tears!" I assure her. "These are good tears. I really am happy. Thank you, Chloe. You are a very, very, very, very good friend."
She relaxes, joy returning to her face and blooming into the air around her.
"I'm glad you think so," she says. "You deserve one."
I don't know what I've ever done to deserve someone like her, but I can't bring myself to protest. With my outfit for the dinner decided, Chloe and I start walking towards Aurora's house. I have to summon my phone out of my human body's pocket to double-check her address, which ends up leaving Chloe agape.
"Magic!" she declares, pointing at me.
"Uh. Yeah?" I confirm. "It's barely magic. More of a function of the transformation stone than anything."
"Aren't… aren't those magic?" Chloe asks.
"Well yes," I concede. "I'm not really casting a spell, though. Not like I normally do. I'm just… using a tool for one of its intended purposes."
"What's the difference?" she asks, curious.
I hesitate, trying to figure out exactly how to answer.
It's about will and focus. Intent. Control.
Yeah. Hmm…
"It's like… riding the bus versus riding a bicycle," I tell her. "To ride the bus you just have to pay the fare, get on, and let it take you where you want to go. That's using the basic functions of the stone. To ride a bike, you have to constantly pedal, but you decide everything about the trip. You control how fast you are, when you turn, whether or not you want to go off the road entirely. And of course, if you crash it's entirely your fault. That's real magic. The transformation stone helps with that too, makes it easier, smoothes out the edges. Like… riding on a paved road. But I'm still the one holding the handlebars. Does that make sense?"
"Kind of," Chloe nods. "Though it's all just magic to me, haha. I mean, regardless of how you do it, it's impossibly cool to us normal people. We'll never be able to do stuff like that."
"That's not true at all," I tell her frankly. "I told you this, right? There's no reason you can't use magic. You probably do it relatively often without noticing. …Though I guess that's because the effects would be basically impossible to notice."
"You've told me a little, but I still hardly know anything," Chloe says. "The Preservers have flatly refused to tell humanity anything about magic, so all I know is from whatever little comments on the subject you make."
"Oh," I say. Right, I knew that. I'm not sure what I was thinking there. "I… guess I probably shouldn't keep explaining, then."
"Wh… oh no! Ah, forget I said that! Please tell me more!" Chloe begs.
I blink, honestly surprised to feel so much orange magic coming off of her while she said that. She really wants to know that badly…?
"Why haven't you ever asked me about this before?"
"Well, I thought it would be rude," Chloe admits. "I mean, you never even wanted to admit you were a magical girl at all for most of the time I've known you. I figured asking you about magic would make you uncomfortable, and I didn't want you to think I was just getting close to you because you have powers."
"I'd never think that about you," I frown.
"I mean you wouldn't now, because we're totally best friends, but until recently?" Chloe prods, and… yeah, okay, that's fair. I wouldn't have wanted to talk about this at all.
"Alright," I concede. "Fair enough, I guess. But… I thought you told me just recently that you were ashamed of the Earth Guardians. You basically said you wished we didn't have to exist. Why would you want magic?"
"Cuz it's magic, duh!" Chloe exclaims, throwing her hands up into the air. "Like yeah, the fact that literal child soldiers are the only thing holding society together right now is absolutely beyond horrific, but if more humans could use magic that would be less of a problem, not more of one. We could have actual adults doing this stuff!"
I can't help but scowl at that.
"What's with the insistence that kids shouldn't be doing anything important?" I ask, a little irritated. "I get that nobody wants to see us hurt, but it's frustrating when people act like we shouldn't be doing our job."
"I… children are dying, Minerva, we—"
"You think I don't know that!?" I snap at her. "I live that. But that's our choice to make. Not yours. Don't act like you know better. If we wanted to quit, we would."
Though of course, that would be unthinkable. Just giving up, after everything I've devoted myself to, after everyone I've failed, and just going home to be some broken, crazy girl? No. I'm going to be an Earth Guardian until I die. I know that better than anyone.
Exactly.
"…I'm sorry," Chloe says softly, nervously fidgeting with her hands. "I just… no. I'm sorry."
"It's fine," I say, not entirely sure if it is but not wanting to let this hang over us. "We just don't want you to pity us, or be ashamed of us. The whole point of it all is that we don't want anything to hurt you."
"Yeah," Chloe nods, not really looking at me. I can tell she feels awful, but I don't know whether it's because I've successfully convinced her or because I haven't. Either way, we're almost at Aurora's house. I don't want to end the day on such a sour note.
"Thanks again for buying me clothes, and going shopping with me," I tell her, forcing the subject back. "I had a lot more fun than I ever thought I would."
"I'm glad," Chloe says, a bit of her former cheer returning. "I guess that's all we want in the end, too. For you guys to be happy."
Part of me wishes she wouldn't worry about that, but the other part is very glad she does.
"Well, you're very good at that," I tell her, since it's true either way. "We're almost at Aurora's house, though, so I guess this is where we should part ways."
Chloe hesitates.
"…Can I hug you?" she asks.
"Um, sure?" I blink. I'm not normally a very huggy person, but I guess it's okay if Chloe—ack!
Chloe quickly squats down, scoops me up under the armpits, and lifts me into the air. I instinctively engage flight magic, though this mostly serves only to make me even lighter and easier to carry. Before I know it I'm being held tight against her chest, my legs dangling awkwardly as she gives me what would be a crushing hug to most people. Hesitantly, I wrap my arms around her and give her a light squeeze back. While we hold each other, Chloe fails to conceal the hand she brings up to wipe away her tears.
"Talk to you soon, alright?" she prompts as she puts me down, her usual cheer so much easier to identify as fake while I'm in my incarnate form.
"Yeah," I agree. "I'll see you soon."
She waves goodbye as I turn to walk the rest of the way to Aurora's house. It's a squat little thing, flat and wide and bunched up close against the houses on either side. The yard is small but tidy, a patch of garden lying between the porch and the grass. The house's gray paint is old and weathered, but it still seems like one of the better-maintained places in this part of town. I walk up to the front porch and press the doorbell, but after hearing no sound and detecting no movement from inside I opt to knock on the door after a little bit as well.
That gets the inside of the house moving, and soon enough I hear the door being unlocked from the inside before it opens to reveal a large Latin American woman with dark frizzy hair wearing an apron stained with many different colors, some of them still wet. She seems briefly caught off guard, her eyes widening slightly as she looks down at me. Not really knowing any other way to handle this situation, I lift up a hand for her to shake.
"Hello, ma'am," I greet her. "I'm Minerva."
Recognition dawns on her face, and suddenly she's all smiles, stepping away from the door and motioning fervently for me to come inside.
"Minerva! It is so good to finally meet you. Come in, come in!" Her thick Mexican accent makes it a little difficult for me to parse her words, but the intent behind them is obvious and the smile on her face is genuine. I thank her, nodding my head and stepping inside to see a small living room, with a cramped hallway leading back to what I suspect is the kitchen. Down at the other end, a familiar face peeks around the corner: Aurora's human form. She also looks quite surprised, but I smile and give her a wave.
I guess they were both expecting me to show up as an adult. Maybe I should have, but it's too late now. I hope this doesn't make things awkward…?
"Minerva!" Aurora greets me happily without missing a beat. "I'm so glad you made it! I hope you're extra-mega hungry, because Mom went a little crazy!"
"Isabela!" Aurora's mother snaps, following up with a rapid outpour of Spanish that I have no hope of following. Isabela, huh? Is that Aurora's birth name? She responds to her mother with what I assume is an apology and then waves me further inside.
"Come on! Let me introduce you to my family," she insists.
Her family, as it turns out, is quite large. She has one older sister, one older brother, two younger brothers, and of course her mother and father. It's a little overwhelming, but they all greet me very politely and I do my best to remember their names. Though speaking of names…
"Should I call you Isabela while we're here?" I whisper to Aurora when we get a moment out of the spotlight.
"Why are you in your incarnate form?" she inquires back.
"I… uh, wanted to be?" I hedge. "I don't know, I don't like being taller than you. It's weird."
She giggles.
"It is kind of weird," she agrees. "Yeah, I like you better this way. You can call me Aurora if you want to. I'm not sure Mama will appreciate the reminder, but sometimes I think she needs to be reminded more often."
It's so funny how, even with a completely different face, Aurora is so unmistakably Aurora. I suppose I'm used to seeing her human form, since we still have to deploy into most fights that way, but it's still a little hard to think of that face and voice as hers until I see that precocious little smile. She's a genius, honestly. Still relatively weak, but for her age? Absolutely incredible. And outside the realm of being an Earth Guardian, I wouldn't be surprised if she's better than me at almost everything. She's just a kid, but she still understands people better than I do.
"I'll do that, then," I nod to her, and she gives me a happy smile. Before I know it we're at the dinner table, and I'm glad I at least have the sense to wait for someone else to start eating because I am completely caught off guard when the family starts saying grace. I had no idea Aurora was Christian, so it throws me for a loop, but a few hazy memories from living with my parents helps me not completely mess it up. Then, dinner begins, and with it, conversation.
"This is exceptionally good," I compliment the meal, since I am not completely devoid of social skills.
"Thank you," Aurora's mother nods back. "It is always wonderful to host one of my daughter's friends. Tell me, what is it you do, exactly?"
I blink.
"Ranged offense and tactical command, I suppose," I answer. Immediately, I get the impression that wasn't the response she was looking for. "Er, sorry, I'm not really sure how much you…"
I trail off a little awkwardly. Aurora clears her throat.
"We don't talk about it much," she says. "But they know what we do, and that you're my team leader and stuff."
Right, of course they know. They hosted Amaterasu here while the Preservers were fixing the base, didn't they?
"You kill monsters?" one of her little brothers blurt. Armando, I think? He looks no more than six years old.
"We do," I confirm. "Your sister is very good at it."
"No way," he denies immediately.
"Uh, really though," I insist. "I couldn't be more proud of her. She's smart, strong, and kind. She holds the team together."
Armando doesn't seem to know what to say to that, blinking up at me with wide eyes. I suppose he's gaining a new level of respect for his sister, which… good, I guess. No one else chimes in to continue that particular conversation, though, so I return to eating the prepared food. It really is delicious, and spicy enough that I can actually taste it in my incarnate form, so it would probably kill my brother on the spot. I love it.
"Do you have… hobbies?" Aurora's father asks.
"Well, I hang out with my friend Chloe a lot, and I spend a good chunk of time preparing to go back to school." I almost say 'preparing to go to college,' but I think that might be a weird thing to say given my current size.
"School isn't really a hobby," Aurora's older sister says.
I'm not really sure what to say to that. It is for me.
"…I guess I'm a little busy for much else," I shrug awkwardly. "When I'm not working with the team, I do a lot of solo patrols. I don't want to take up Aurora's time if I don't need to."
More accurately, Fulgora does the solo patrols, but I definitely don't want to get into that distinction during this dinner.
If you do, I swear to god I will find some way to kill you.
I won't! I just said I won't!
Fulgora gives me the mental equivalent of the 'I'm watching you' gesture while Aurora's older brother clears his throat to speak up.
"Thank you for taking care of my sister," he says simply. I give him a firm nod.
"Of course," I say. "I won't let anything happen to her. You have my word."
"Isabela," Aurora's mother chimes in. "Why don't you talk about that science project you were working on?"
The subject is changed so awkwardly I would have thought I was the one who did it, but Aurora takes it in stride, sticking up a little straighter and putting a bright smile on her face as she starts to talk.
"I'm doing my science fair project on rocket propulsion!" she answers brightly. "I got special permission to do my presentation outside! There's this whole thing with spaceships where the fuel they carry is really heavy, so they need the fuel to go up, but the more fuel they have the harder it is for them to go up, so I'm using the Coke and Mentos thing with different sized bottles to…"
Her family and I nod along as she happily continues her explanation, her mother visibly relaxing as pride starts to overtake her fear. It seems like quite the complicated setup, but obviously she knows what she's doing. What is she, in fifth grade? I'm pretty sure when I was in elementary school my mom would just make my science projects for me. They looked impressive, but whenever the judges came by to talk to me about it I never had any idea what to say.
I should spend more time doing solo work. It's crazy that she's managing to do all this on top of how hard we work her.
Agreed. One hundred percent agreed.
She's got more of a future than we ever will.
The dinner continues, and while Aurora wasn't kidding about her mom making a truly absurd amount of food, the way my incarnate form ingests food makes it pretty difficult for me to get full. My brother says that asking for seconds is one of the best ways to compliment someone's home cooking, so I make a point to eat a lot. Sure enough, Aurora's mother seems quite happy with how the meal is received.
After dinner, I make sure to thank her for the food again, because I'm not really sure how many times I'm supposed to thank someone for hosting me and I figure I'd rather do it too many times than too few. She gives me a polite smile and rapid-fires a bunch of Spanish at her kids, who immediately all get up and start cleaning the table and doing dishes. I stand awkwardly nearby, because I get the impression she wants to talk to me. As I suspected, when the sink starts running and the clank of dishes is loud enough that most people wouldn't be able to overhear, she turns to address me.
"Thank you for taking care of my daughter," she says, but I can tell she doesn't really mean it. She's terrified.
"Sometimes I wonder why she said yes," I comment, not really sure what to say.
"Said yes to what?" Aurora's mother frowns.
"To the offer. To being an Earth Guardian. Most of us don't have anywhere else to go. But Aurora? She could go anywhere. Do anything. Yet no matter how hard it gets, she's always happy to be one of us."
"Her name is Isabela," her mother insists.
"Only sometimes," I say. "Aurora is as real a name as any other."
The woman purses her lips, a bit irritated that I pushed back. But as an Earth Guardian, denying someone's incarnate form isn't something I can let slide.
"I want to force her to quit," her mother says frankly. "I tried, once. But how do I ground a girl who can fly?"
"She's still working on flying, actually," I correct. Her mother gives me a look, and I intuit that maybe wasn't the right thing to say.
"I mean that I am afraid she will simply run and live with you," she clarifies. "Your 'Preservers.' If I try to stop her, I will lose her. But I'll lose her if she doesn't stop too, won't I?"
"I'll die before I let that happen," I tell her firmly.
"That will only work once," her mother says, her eyes narrowing at me. I break eye contact. I can't hold her gaze.
"You are older than you look, yes?" her mother asks, seemingly changing the subject. "Isabela said you would be taller."
"Er, yes ma'am, I'm eighteen," I confirm. It's true, no matter how I look.
"What are the chances my little girl will never grow up?"
"Oh, um, her growth shouldn't be affected, my situation is…"
She's glaring at me again. She's not asking about my height.
You're a fucking moron.
Oh. Oh, of course.
"…I'll protect her," I insist. "I will."
"I don't want your empty promises. I couldn't find it online, so tell me. What are her chances?"
"To reach my age?" I ask. "Well, not too bad, especially since she has the advantage of an abnormal number of older girls with her."
"No," she demands. "What are her chances to make it all the way through? To live her life. What are the chances that I won't have to bury my baby girl?"
"W-well, I guess I don't really know, I'm not sure that… I mean, we've only been around for—"
"Four percent," Aurora says, causing me to jump. She's staring at us, drying her hands with a dishtowel. The rest of the family, I realize, is staring at us too.
"Give or take a few," Aurora continues. "I asked Uma'tama when they made me the offer. Minerva's right, of course. We don't have great data on it, because the organization hasn't existed long enough for most of the members to reach adulthood. But of the initial chosen, there are only two still alive today. Four percent."
"Isabela, I…"
"And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bully Minerva about it, Mama," Aurora continues. "She's my leader, and my mentor, but she doesn't decide whether or not I continue being an Earth Guardian. Only I do. Even if she refused to let me stay on the team, Uma'tama would still find me ways to help."
"But why? Why you?"
"Because I love you, Mama. I love all of you. So I'm not going to let monsters sneak into town ever again. We're done cleaning up dinner. Can we play a board game or something?"
We play some board games. It's a bit quiet and awkward, especially at first, but Aurora's smile does its best to brighten the mood by force, and her youngest brother doesn't seem to understand enough of what everyone else was talking about to be particularly deterred. Together, they somehow manage to get us to have an enjoyable time, and before I know it her family is smiling again, saying goodbye, and wishing me a happy night.
"Do you need a ride home?" Aurora's mother offers.
"I'll be alright, ma'am," I decline politely. "Thank you again for the lovely dinner."
"And thank you again for looking after my daughter," she nods, and it's a bit more genuine this time.
I nod back, hesitating a little. There's something I want to say, but I'm not sure if I'm overstepping.
Just do it.
"I will never tell you not to be afraid of what your daughter does," I say, "but I hope you can also be proud. There's no one I know more worth being proud of."
The woman rapidly goes through a series of different emotions before letting out a shaky breath and looking me in the eyes.
"I am," she says. "I am so very proud."
With a smile and one last nod, I bid her goodbye and leave the house. It's a long walk home, but I'd rather walk than fly towards where I live, especially since I'm not in my uniform. Overall, that didn't go as poorly as I'd feared.
And I'm glad I don't have to get mad at anyone.
Well hey, that's new from you.
Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, coward. But in all seriousness that didn't go too badly. We were even having fun for a while there. I guess it wasn't a terrible idea to show up in mini-mode.
Told you so! I think it works best when whoever's in charge gets to be themselves. I mean, that seems kind of obvious in retrospect, but even though you'd normally hate looking like this it's not that big of a deal when you can feel how much I like it, right?
I guess not. I kind of faded into the background for most of the night. Which seems kind of spooky, but I guess that's just how we work.
I guess it is. And it's good we're figuring that out, because we're going to have to work together to become as strong as possible.
Absolutely fuck yes. I'm even more motivated now. We're going to give that kid a future. We're going to destroy every last monster in the entire Dark World!
Train on the way home?
Hell yes. Let's do it.
Comments
Lako
Thanks for the chapter!
Skitterdidnothingwrong
Since the Perseveres are the ones that chose the missions and teams I feel like they might be responsible the 4% survival rate. Wouldn’t want these kids to grow up and start getting ideas.
jthrr
I suspect you're right about the reality; those are Aurora's words (and she can be wrong), but it sounds like she got clear answers from Uma'tama (and there are all kinds of issues with the Preservers, but they don't seem to lie about this).
Aoinfinity
The wording is "still alive." There isn't really a way to argue that Melpomene isn't. Unless the Preservers are outright lying, the two survivors are Castalia and Melpomene.
extantCadence
That exchange between Minerva and Chloe about children fighting.... Minerva's not stupid, she has to know on some level that's not the point, but she could never admit it. The indoctrination runs deep in them and doubting the Preservers' judgement is something traitors do. And on top of that they have to feel like the suffering and loss has been for something worthwhile. Sitting there talking about killing all the monsters like that'll fix everything somehow. Because it has to. It would break them if it doesn't.
extantCadence
Besides Mel, only Nanaya seems like she could be from the initial recruits by age. The recruitment age would have to be pretty wide for Mel and Thea to have been in the same wave, seems like. On the other hand, if they are including Mel, it would be just her and Castalia. I suppose they probably wouldn't though, and now I wonder who this other surviving senior is.
Foxy Hydra
This! Immediate thoughts of the daughter of a vet being encouraged by the gov to befriend local magical girl
MurkyTruths
Hope!
Carter Jessup
Aurora's normally my favorite just because she gets yeeted every time she gets screen time. Now she's my favorite because she's building a goddamn multi-stage mentos coke bottle rocket. What a badass.
Noble Defect
The children crusade is a perfect example why child soldiers is a bad idea
Kennyevilmonkey
Thanks 4 the chapter!
jthrr
4%, 2 still alive... that's an initial chosen set of 50 with 48 dead. Or maybe lost, if they're also counting Melpomene & friends. ... ... I hope Minerva understands what Chloe is trying to explain at some point, but that's still a painful leap away.
Kaelik
A little thrown by that we from Chloe! Probably just a generic "we human society" or maybe she included her dad, but for a second there I thought she might also be plural (unlikely given her earlier response) or she might be part of a third secret organization.
