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31. Trying Again
🕑 Added 2025-02-08 10:52:46 +0000 UTCA/N: Well, we're here. The last chapter of book one of Magical Girl Mechanical Heart. By this time next week, the story should be publicly released! I'm very excited. If you can, I'd really appreciate it if people would take the time to hype up the story to their friends and spread it around a bit when it comes out. But of course, your current support is more than enough, and I'm endlessly grateful for being able to support myself writing down my funny little words for all of you. Enjoy the chapter, and thanks so much!!!
The moon is beautiful tonight. I've been thinking stuff like that a lot lately. It's nice. I hope I never forget to pay attention to how wonderful being on Earth is. I never would have noticed stuff like this when I was a human. Never would have thought to pay attention, despite my name.
It's true, though. The moon has only recently started waning from full, the silver glow cutting through a ring of clouds that frame but just barely don't block it. Just the sight of it has me imagining Anath arching her back and letting out a howl. I could stare at it for hours… so I make sure to save the memory somewhere easily accessible to remind myself to do just that. For now, I have a job to take care of.
I step off the sidewalk and down some concrete stairs to enter a bar that's just as grungy as the last time I was here. Unlike last time, it has a whole entire patron sitting alone in one of the corners, nursing a no-doubt-foul drink. The bartender, once again smudging a glass under the pretense of cleaning, frowns at me as I walk in.
"Awfully late for a girl your age to be walking around alone," he comments.
"It is, isn't it?" I agree, my usual mask covering my immobile mouth. "Fortunately, I'm used to the dark."
I step past him and walk through the 'Employees Only' door, which he studiously ignores. I head down the hallway and knock on the door I remember Nanaya and I went through all those months ago.
"Come in."
I do so, pushing the door open and stepping inside, spotting the same small man as last time. He, of course, doesn't recognize me and I have no intention (or ability) to connect the dots for him.
"Who the hell are you?" he demands.
"You can call me Courier," I tell him, smiling a little at my own inside joke. "I'll be handling Savior's transactions for the foreseeable future."
"You don't have the eyes, girlie," he says, leaning forward.
"That is part of what makes me a better liaison," I tell him frankly. "But if you mean to challenge whether or not I share Savior's power, I can happily show you how much more dangerous I am than I look."
He considers that, giving me a small nod.
"You got the goods?" he asks.
"Of course. I'm no more fond of wasting time than my predecessor."
I pull my backpack off and start setting out items, presenting them to the man.
"A ring that pinches your finger in the presence of liars," I declare. "A lamp that changes color based on the strongest emotions in the room. A toy car that drives in whatever direction you will it."
"Trinkets and baubles," the man dismisses.
"Collector's items," I correct. "Don't pretend there isn't a market. I did not come here unprepared."
"It's not where the real market is, though," the man says, looking up at me meaningfully.
"Weapons?" I ask.
"Personal defensive items," he corrects.
"We have some," I admit bluntly. "We are still deciding whether or not we want to sell them."
"These three are worth maybe a few million, combined," he says, waving them off. "Weapons, though? Something that could actually punch through a monster? Then we're talking billions."
"I assure you, you don't have to worry about us not knowing how much our assets are worth. Twenty million for the… baubles."
"Are you nuts?" he asks, feigning anger. "Five million, tops."
"Oh look, the ring is shrinking. Eighteen."
God, I am having fun with this. We ultimately settle on twelve million—several million more than the amount Nanaya told me to aim for—and I hand over the list of political lobbies and bribes Nanaya assembled to determine what money goes where. Ultimately, I leave feeling quite satisfied with myself. That was way more entertaining than I expected it to be. Coming up with clever lines to negotiate with is awesome. I love cheating at social interactions!
With a slight spring in my step—
Optimal springiness is depressingly low due to abnormally high weight compared to a human of my size. Jumping too high always contains a slight risk of potentially disguise-damaging situations such as cracked flooring, loud impact noises, and not getting bruised when I smack myself in the chin with my own tits.
—I exit the grungy bar and make my way to the rich part of town to manage the emotional battery collectors. It just makes so much sense for me to be the one to do all of this. I don't need to sleep, for one thing, but my senses are also so much more powerful than everyone else's that I don't really need to worry about being caught. It's extremely easy for me to notice cameras and other security devices when I'm looking for them, and people can't really sneak up on me… unless they're doing whatever the hell Melpomene did to sneak up on me that one time, but she doesn't normally do that so I probably won't have to worry about it too much. Case in point, I collect all of the newly filled batteries without a hitch, completing my Earth-bound chores for the day. Unfortunately, this means it's time to head back to the Dark World.
At least Melpomene has been good to her word so far, and has been almost entirely avoiding me outside of situations where it would be so conspicuous that she's doing it even Anath and Thea would notice. But she doesn't give me any new orders, and she keeps to herself, and it's actually kind of helpful reinforcing my belief that the orders she gave me to be free really are what she wants from me. Or perhaps more specifically, she wants me to get the hell out of her life, but I'm perfectly happy to do that. I'll miss the others, though.
Today might be the last time I see them.
It probably won't be, to be clear, but it very distinctly might be and I can't get that thought out of my head. Practically speaking, I'll almost certainly have to come back to the Dark World to pick up artifacts, talk strategy with Nanaya, and get maintenance from Thea (Anath will also be there) but if I wanted to, I could probably walk. I'm moving into my new apartment tomorrow morning, right on school campus, and my new life will officially begin. I will, at least most of the time, stop being the Dark Rebellion's sapient artifact and start being Luna Clio Babbage, college student and aspiring music composer who may or may not have a terrible dark secret but who even cares because no one has time to dig into that stuff during a college course load, right? Even if someone does start paying too much attention to me they'll probably just think I have anorexia or something. Nobody's ever noticed my self-destructive habits before, though, so I doubt they'll start now!
I pick up some snacks for Anath on the way back and make my way into the liminal zone, enjoying the quiet walk back to the Dark World. I make it to the portal, push through the familiar dark fog, and return to the castle, feeling out to sense where everyone else is. Anath and Nanaya are both up in the kitchen, so I suppose I'll start there. I head upstairs and step into the room while throwing a bag of cheese snacks at Anath's head in lieu of a greeting. Completely on instinct, she catches them out of the air with her teeth.
"Lumnah!" Anath greets me happily, her teeth still clenched around her prize.
"Welcome back," Nanaya says evenly, her focus on collecting ingredients.
"Are you making dinner?" I ask. "You know it's like three in the morning, right?"
"It is somewhat difficult to maintain a proper circadian rhythm when living in a land of eternal darkness," Nanaya says. "And I, for one, am used to needing to work at night."
"Fair enough, I suppose," I allow, taking my usual place beside her to help prepare the meal. "What's the recipe for today?"
"Tilapia and pilaf," she answers.
"Ooh, nice!" I compliment.
"Mmm. It seemed a good way to take advantage of the rather chaotic set of groceries you brought the other day," Nanaya says, handing me five different vegetables. "Dice these."
"Hey, it's been a while since I've had to eat anything, okay?" I say. "How was I supposed to know that you didn't want everything on your grocery list at the same time?"
"Yes, if only you had a supercomputer capable of easily cataloging the expiry dates of various items," she deadpans.
"You know what, fine, I'm making a spreadsheet in my mind right now," I inform her. "Done with the veggies, by the way."
She glances over at my cutting board, which is indeed a perfectly diced set of everything she gave me. She accepts the vegetables, placing them in a bowl for later.
"I believe I will miss having your assistance with meals," she informs me evenly.
"Oh my god, Nanaya, thank you! That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"
"Mmm."
"If you keep eating at weird times of night I'm sure I can be back to help every once in a while," I assure her.
She doesn't answer, so I step past her and grab some of the bowls and utensils she's finished with to get a headstart on the dishes. Her emotions are… oddly turbulent. Normally, she's the most static and controlled of the whole group, a thin shell of basic personhood surrounding a smoldering core of anger. It brings to mind a forge, or perhaps something recently reforged, still glowing with the heat of molten metal. Anything that could shake her iron self-control has a good chance of being a pretty big deal.
"We are using a small portion of our considerable income to supply you with what you need on Earth," Nanaya says slowly. "I am certain you are aware of this. I also doubt it has eluded you that, were we to retract our support, you would find the ground beneath you quickly crumbling."
"Uh, I'm not planning to betray you or anything," I tell her. "There's really no need to go all mob boss on me."
"Mmm. I agree," Nanaya says. "That is why I find the situation displeasing."
"Pardon?" I ask.
"I am not normally opposed to achieving my goals through any means necessary," she says. "But you are not necessary. There is nothing to gain by extorting you like some corrupted politician. So I wish for you to know that if you cease assisting us, I will cease paying for your expenses. But I will not rescind what has already been given to you. That is a treatment given to enemies and tools, not friends or family."
Oh. Gosh. I guess that's the nicest thing Nanaya has ever said to me.
"So… you're saying I don't have to do the dishes anymore?" I joke, because I'm not really sure how else to handle this situation.
"No. You have not for a long time," Nanaya answers.
"Oh. Well, I'm gonna keep doing them anyway."
"Mmm."
"Hugs for Luna!" a cheese-stained Anath declares, leaping at me with arms outstretched. I briefly run through several combat routines in my head before deciding to simply accept the embrace, shifting my stance so my metal body can absorb the impact without causing me to fall over.
"Hugs for Anath," I say, patting her back.
"Wash your hands," Nanaya grumbles. "If you get cheese powder on anything you will be running nothing but drills for weeks."
"Ack! Mercy!" Anath squeaks. "Mercy please! I just got so excited! You're never nice to anyone, it was just so sweet!"
Nanaya does not blush, because her gray skin doesn't really show it, but I do sense the slightest increase in temperature on both of her cheeks.
"It was never my intention to grow to appreciate you," Nanaya complains. "But despite your flippantry, your endurance and occasionally your insight are worthy of respect. And it is nice having someone else I can trust with finances."
"Hey, how would you know whether or not you can trust me with finances?" Anath says. "You never give me any money!"
"Indeed."
"Hah. Well, thanks," I say. "The feeling is mutual, I guess. It was never my intention to grow to appreciate you either."
That, of all things, causes the slightest upward twitch to appear on Nanaya's lips.
"I imagine not," she agrees. "That is all I will be needing from you for now. Would you go check if Thea is awake?"
"Sure," I agree. "I think she has a few final checks she wants to perform on me anyway."
"No doubt," Nanaya deadpans.
Ignoring her salacious insinuations, I head back downstairs and wander over to Thea's workshop, poking my head in to find her soundly asleep in her blanket nest, curled up and hugging her own tail. It is quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. I have no choice but to let her continue sleeping. Anything else is unthinkable. I guess I'll head to the bathroom to change out of my skinsuit so everything's ready for her when she wakes up.
It's still weird, seeing myself in the mirror like this. A good weird, though. A fantastic weird. I take off my mask, turning my lips up into a smile and just marveling at how wonderfully, perfectly pretty the girl looking back at me is. I love it. I love her. I love me.
Oh. It's time, isn't it?
Northward emotional intensity at 156% of threshold. Crystal realignment is available. It's finally time. I've been really dreading this, though. I know it's for the best. I know that, if everything goes well like I'm hoping it will, it'll finally solve my power issue, but I remember how, when I was first transitioning into a sadness-burning configuration, the process of using all of that sadness as fuel at once left me quite giddy. Doing the opposite, I'm sure, is going to be very, very painful.
I understand the process a lot better this time. Once the change is complete, which shouldn't take too long, I won't need to burn anywhere near the majority of my happiness in order to stay functional. The joy I feel will be real, created not through the elimination of all other emotion, but through my own life and actions. Just in concept alone it sounds a thousand times healthier than what I've been doing up until now, but for the next minute or so after I initiate the change? It's going to be bad.
"Luna?"
I glance to the door, seeing a groggy-looking Thea staring into the bathroom at me. Hmm. If I'm worried about hurting myself… I should probably have someone with me, huh?
"Hey, Thea. Could I get your help with something?" I ask.
"Sure," she mumbles. "Can I pee first?"
Oh yeah, that thing bathrooms are for.
"Of course, yeah, sorry," I nod, stepping past her and heading back to her workshop. I guess I'll just change here while she does that. Taking my clothes off is still a little weird, since the naked body underneath doesn't entirely feel like me yet, but once I give the command to open up the suit and allow my metallic frame to once again see the light of the Dark World there's an odd sense of… I'm not really sure. Melancholy? It's like I can't really decide which I prefer to see when I look down at myself. I've always wanted to be beautiful, to be well and truly alive. But there's something comforting and empowering about looking down and seeing knuckles that can smash through concrete and a sleek form shielded from nearly all physical harm.
"Good morning, L—oh, you've taken it off already?" Thea says, blinking the last of the sleep out of her eyes as she enters the room.
"You had some last-minute adjustments you wanted to make, right?" I ask. "Plus, there's something I wanted to do first. Remember when I first got here and my crystals were green?"
"Oh yeah, I remember. Feeling a little scared to go out in public for good?" she asks.
"Close to the opposite, actually," I admit. "I think I'm going to make myself a yellow mage."
"Oh! Oh gosh, that's awesome, Luna," Thea says, though her smile is a little sad.
"Thank you," I respond, not digging into it. "The problem is, I need to consume a pretty massive amount of yellow magic in order to change my whole crystal configuration, and that is going to make me ultra-turbo-mondo-depressed for about a minute or so. I want you to help make sure I don't… I don't know, try to hurt myself or something."
"Wow, um, should we maybe get the others for this?" Thea squeaks.
"We can, but I think it'll be fine with just you," I assure her. "I doubt anything will actually happen. I'm just going to need some hugs, probably."
"Uh, well, okay then," Thea nods, hopping up on her worktable and sitting down. "Ready when you are, I guess."
"Okay, here goes," I say, sitting down next to her. "Let's get this over with."
Initiating cardinal reoptimization: one hundred and eighty degrees. Condensing available energy…
Holy shit, am I stupid? Is this really going to work?
Yes. Available energy intake exceeds required thresholds.
Well I know that, but I mean in the long term. I've been having a pretty good time being happy by burning my sadness away, but that's not available right now. I have to handle all of the other emotions I've been repressing all at once, and those parts of my mind are telling me that I'm fucked. No matter how normal a life I try to pretend to have, the fact remains that Melpomene is just one bad day away from tearing it all down, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
"Luna?" Thea asks, hesitantly placing a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm okay," I lie. "It's a little intense, but it will pass."
And I'll go right back to pretending everything is okay. Pretending is what I'm best at, because it's all I can do. The only control I can ever hope to have over my own life is false, imaginary, ephemeral. I am nothing but masks on masks on masks, some hiding from others, some hiding from myself. Before my life was torn away by Melpomene, it was torn away by my family, by my birth, by my own pathetic inability to overcome my sad little problems. Who am I kidding, trying to make myself believe that I'll be happy? That I can sustain myself through happiness? My happiness has always been nothing more than a flimsy lie.
"You're starting to change color," Thea says.
Speaking of lies, I can't imagine how devastated Thea will be when she finds out all of mine. She's a little naive, but she's not stupid. God, but she's not stupid. I bet the only reason she hasn't figured it out is because she doesn't want to. I'm her cool robot friend. She wanted me to be intelligent. She wanted me to be able to talk. I bet this is like a dream come true to her. Why would she bother waking up for someone as awful as me?
"Hey, whatcha thinking about?" Thea asks.
"You don't wanna know," I answer.
"Well, what if we think about… something else! Something you're looking forward to on Earth."
Getting disassembled by Preservers.
"Is there really no way you can live on Earth safely?" I ask. "Don't you want to come with me?"
"Well… I certainly would love to be able to visit, but I doubt any of the other Preservers would be willing to cut me as much slack as Uma'tama. I did technically steal a very expensive weapon," she answers, tapping her transformation stone.
"Did you tell the others?" I ask. "About what you and Uma'tama talked about?"
"…No," Thea admits. "Mel would freak out if she learned I spoke to a Preserver alone. Nanaya would be mad, too. I don't want to worry them."
Focusing on other people is actually helping a little. Avoiding my problems, as usual.
"What do you think about what the cat said?" I ask.
"I'm not sure what to think," Thea answers. "Uma'tama wouldn't lie to me. It seemed like they were going out of their way to tell me things they weren't even supposed to. I don't know why they would do that if they didn't… you know, care."
"They certainly felt like they cared," I admit, "but who says Preservers can't project false emotions, or fabricated emotions? Presumably their whole society is pretty used to magic. There's no reason to believe they don't have methods of getting around empathy. So in that light, the reason would be Uma'tama trying to make you think they care in order to eventually pressure you into working against the Dark Rebellion, purposefully or otherwise."
"But that's… absurd?" Thea says, wrinkling her nose. "I mean, it's Uma'mama. I don't think they have a duplicitous bone in their fuzzy little body. I lived with them for years. They're just not that kind of person. Like don't get me wrong, something is up, I'm just not really sure what it is."
"I guess that's a fair assessment of the situation," I admit. "I'll keep my ear to the ground, but for obvious reasons I'm going to be trying to avoid Earth Guardians as much as possible."
"Obviously," Thea nods.
Cardinal reoptimization complete. Returning to manual emotion burn.
Oh. Oh wow. I turn and look right at Thea.
"Thank you so much," I say. "Holy moly, that would have been awful without you."
She blinks with surprise, her cheeks browning a little.
"Um, no problem! I don't think I did very much… uh, I like your new color! Yellow has always been really pretty."
"Thanks," I nod, checking my internal power readings. That artificial depression spiral is still lingering a little, cutting down my happiness output, but this is still stable and likely to improve. It's working. It's actually working! It's a little odd burning my happiness like this, a little more… tepid. Even. It's very manageable.
"Oh! Um, right! I finished grabbing all the data from your SIM card like you asked, and I went ahead and designed an upgraded radio transmitter for you, if you want me to install that while I upload the data."
"That sounds awesome, actually," I agree, opening up my hip plates to expose the old transmitter and some of my ports.
"And, um, if you want I can do a deep cleaning for you. You know, like before."
A cloud of emotions wafts off of her at that, from embarrassment to insecurity to anticipation. Is she…? No, it doesn't matter.
"I'd like that a lot," I tell her. "We can't take too long, though. Nanaya will be furious if we're late for dinner."
"Well, let's get started then."
I lie down on the table, open up all of my plating, and just… relax. Thea plugs me into her laptop, sending me all the information I need to use my brain in place of the phone Nanaya gave me if I feel like it, and then she pulls out her old cobbled-together radio transmitter and installs a much sleeker one in its place. Then, she pulls out her tools, her little brushes, her can of compressed air, and starts carefully giving my joints some sweet relief from the oppression of dust.
She works her way down one leg, then the other, giving careful attention to all of the nooks and crannies in my frame. Her hesitance from before quickly slips away as she enters something of a flow state, deep in her element as she gently and efficiently makes sure every part of me is in its place. She works her way up from my legs, to my hips, my belly, and ultimately my chest, where she stops, staring wide-eyed at something I'd almost forgotten.
"This… where did you get this?" she breathes, staring at the heart-shaped stone in my chest.
"Melpomene gave it to me," I answer. "For emergencies only. She said I'm a real member of the Dark Rebellion now."
Among several other things I unfortunately cannot mention.
"I… really?" Thea says softly, her eyes starting to mist up. "I never thought she'd… gosh. I'm so happy for her."
"For… her?" I ask. "Is there something I'm missing?"
"That stone is very important to her," Thea says. "Maybe the most important thing to her. I never thought she'd give it to someone else."
Oh.
"Why would she give something like that to me?" I ask helplessly.
"Well like I said, I don't know! I guess she's finally trying to move on."
"She said I can't show it to anyone outside of the Dark Rebellion, except in a major emergency," I tell her, honestly not knowing what else to say or even think.
"Yeah, that makes sense," Thea nods. "The Preservers think that stone has been destroyed. If there's one thing they tolerate even less than us having Antipathy technology, it's us having their technology."
"Duly noted," I say. "It's a little disappointing having it but not being able to use it, though."
"I bet!" Thea laughs. "Gosh, that would be unbearable. Just be glad you don't know what you're missing yet. It'll be even worse after you use it for the first time."
"Oh good," I answer. Maybe that's all this is. Maybe it's just another way to torment me.
…No. Not even I hate her so much as to get myself to believe that. I just don't know what else it could be.
Thea barely manages to finish cleaning me before dinner, and with all of my plates open I know she felt how much I wish it had taken a little longer. She doesn't seem upset by it, at least, and I let her head upstairs by herself to eat with the others while I take my time getting dressed again. Melpomene will be there eating dinner with the rest of them, after all, and I'd rather not see her if I don't have to. It's only after Melpomene leaves the dining room, heading all the way to the big double doors and exiting the castle entirely, do I meet up with everyone again. But now, there isn't much more to say than goodbye.
"I'm going to miss you sooo much!" Thea exclaims.
"Likewise, Buttbot," Anath grins at me. "It was nice having a training partner, at least occasionally."
"With you handling my prior Earth duties, we should be able to make much more progress towards the Dark Rebellion's primary objective," Nanaya says. "Even if you never fight again, know that you are helping save the world."
"Aww. I'll miss all of you as well," I coo. "Come on, bring it in, hug time! Mandatory hug time!"
"Mmm," Nanaya grumbles, but even she lends her six freaky arms to my departing embrace. Anath squeezes me furiously hard, and Thea is caught between her and Nanaya, slowly getting compressed into a paste. In the interest of her continued survival, I regrettably break off the hug.
"See you around, sisters of the Dark Rebellion," I tell them, offering one last departing wave.
"Bye, Luna!" Thea enthusiastically waves back. "Good luck with school!"
I smile (because again, I can do that now) and give her a confirming nod before stepping out of the castle. School, huh? Honestly, school has been almost completely off of my radar, but it's a big deal to Thea, isn't it? Still, I doubt I'll need good luck to do well in school. Most of testing is memorization, and I now have a functionally infallible memory. Plus, the ability to accelerate my brain to lightning speed and then compose essays inside of it should leave me with plenty of free time if I'm ever in need of it. That's not even taking into account the fact that I don't need to sleep, a fact that might be suspicious in normal circumstances but should be considered pretty normal for college students. I can't believe I'm moving back in on campus today. I wonder what my new dorm assignment will be.
I finish wading through the black mist of the Dark World, stepping out into the liminal space and… oh. I suppose that's what she was doing out of the castle.
Melpomene is waiting for me. She's just… standing there, right outside the portal exit, her arms crossed. She stares at me, a frustrated scowl on her face. I can't help but feel a murky outpouring of nearly every negative emotion in my soul at the mere sight of her. Despite going out of her way to set this conversation up, she doesn't seem to know what to say. I guess I'll start for her.
"Last chance, Mel," I tell her bluntly.
Her frown grows deeper.
"Why bring attention to that?" she asks. "Do you want me to rip it all away?"
"I wasn't under the impression that what I want has any bearing on our relationship," I answer.
Melpomene sighs, her tail flicking with irritation.
"Then rejoice at my mercy," she says flatly. "I did not, in fact, come all this way to destroy what Nanaya has spent weeks working to accomplish."
Oh, okay, good. I was actually kind of worried. But that begs the question…
"What did you come here for, then?" I ask.
Melpomene hesitates. Her wings shuffle loudly from where they're folded up close to her back, a nervous twitch.
"I suppose… I'm not really sure," she admits. "I don't wish to apologize to you. You have made me quite miserable."
"Well as I said, our relationship has always been about your needs," I spit. "I'm not surprised you haven't thought this through for even a second. You're a mess, Melpomene. You're never going to be able to save the world until you repair whatever brain damage you have going on."
Again, a pause. The woman lets out a long, slow breath, and then gives an answer I never would have expected.
"Yes," Melpomene agrees. "You may be right. I barely feel like myself anymore."
For some reason, hearing that just makes me angrier.
"Well, I'm afraid I have no way to help you," I say. "Which is good, because then I might be obligated to. Goodbye, Melpomene. Don't worry about not being up to apologizing. I wouldn't have accepted one anyway."
She breaks eye contact with me, her usual scowl settling back on her face.
"Best of luck, Luna," she says. "And goodbye."
I turn away and start walking to Earth, while she turns away and returns to the Dark World. And just like that, it's official. Until the next time I see her, I'm free.
The sun has finished rising by the time I exit the liminal zone, the fresh air blowing strands of hair in front of my face. Earth is just so much more than the mere shadows of universes I happen to frequent. It's alive. It's… complete. Unlike the hungry rage of the Dark World, it wants for nothing. On the contrary, it has plenty to give.
I make my way towards the storage unit Nanaya rented and filled with a collection of stuff for me to make it look like I actually had a life before all of this started. She even bought me a shitty old car for a couple hundred dollars, the kind that will almost certainly break down within months of purchasing it but is all I really need to seem independent enough that no one will question why my parents aren't helping me move in. I load the clunky thing up with all the boxes Nanaya prepared for me—mostly clothes, nonperishable food, and a couple knick-knacks—and start heading to my new home, road map open in my head. I don't want to send my actual physical body's location to a mapping network, but fortunately I don't need to. I am the little computer that calculates the fastest route.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Luna! Still around? Still alive?
[LunaLightOTK]: Alive, around, and doing pretty well, Bean. Sorry again I traumatized you so much you feel the need to keep asking.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I probably wouldn't be freaking out so much if you had just told me your parents had confiscated your electronics for a couple months or something. That, at least, wouldn't be a problem anymore now that you're heading back to college.
[LunaLightOTK]: Yeah, but I don't really want to lie to you? Because you're my best friend and stuff? I don't know, sorry. It's probably hard being my friend right now.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I won't say it's easy, but I won't say it's not worth it either! I'm really glad you're back! So cut the negativity, okay?
[LunaLightOTK]: Sorry, sorry. You're right. I guess I have a lot more reasons than usual to stay positive anyway.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Okay you can't keep saying things like that and then continue to insist you're not a magical girl.
[LunaLightOTK]: I meant that I'm finally free from my shitty situation and getting to go back to college and probably also being confident enough to major in music this time, not that I literally needed to stay positive in order to burn happiness as fuel for spells.
I do, obviously, but that's not what I meant.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Wait, is that actually how magic works? I know there's significant circumstantial evidence for it being emotion-based, but burning emotions as fuel?
[LunaLightOTK]: Bean, please.
[MeanBeanMachine]: If you don't want me to be curious, stop making everything sound so interesting! You say you're not a magical girl but you keep dropping hints and talking about secrets and at this point I feel like it has to be magic-related. Besides, I know you. If some shady guy in sunglasses and a black suit rang your doorbell and asked if you wanted to be part of a secret government magical experimentation initiative you would immediately say yes.
God. If only I had said yes.
[LunaLightOTK]: I will admit that, if I had my way, I would tell you everything. So yeah, some stuff is slipping out. But for the record, no, I am not part of a secret government magical experimentation initiative.
[MeanBeanMachine]: But you have never once denied that it's related to magic.
[LunaLightOTK]: Bean, you know me. If I had secret insider info on magic I could not possibly shut up about it.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Well yeah, I mean, that's sort of my point. You keep emphasizing how you can't tell me anything, and yet…
[LunaLightOTK]: I think this means we should probably talk about something else entirely.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Darn.
I finally pull into my apartment building's parking lot. It's a decent walk away from my actual apartment, but it's not like I can get tired. I grab the first box out of my trunk, resisting the urge to stack them up and carry them all at once just because I can, and head over to see my apartment for the first time.
[LunaLightOTK]: Moving into my new dorm today. Pretty excited about that, if I'm being honest. I hope my roommate's nice.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Oh! Cool. They put you in mixed dorms again?
[LunaLightOTK]: Nope. Women's. It's not some shitty little dorm, either, it's like a whole-ass apartment. I get my own room, we just share the kitchen and stuff.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Oh, fuck yeah! That's super cool news.
[LunaLightOTK]: Advantages of an increased income.
[MeanBeanMachine]: You're being mysterious again!
[LunaLightOTK]: Right, shit, sorry. I think I might be really bad at not saying whatever's on my mind. …Hmm.
[MeanBeanMachine]: What? And yes you absolutely are.
[LunaLightOTK]: I think that might be why I prefer to say nothing at all. Most people do not appreciate my witticisms, so I just stay quiet most of the time. Or at least I did.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I'm pretty sure that was the child abuse, Luna. Your parents were never very fond of independent thinkers.
[LunaLightOTK]: Oh right.
I head inside and make my way to the check-in desk, belatedly regretting bringing an entire box with me to get my key. Thankfully, there's a spot to just plop it onto the desk, which the girl manning it doesn't seem to mind. I'm probably not the only one to have been this stupid.
"Checking in?" she asks me.
I hold up one fist and bob it up and down by the wrist. She stares at me blankly, because obviously most people don't know ASL. Worth a shot. I nod.
"Oh!" the girl blinks, connecting the dots. "Um, your name?"
I fish through my pockets and find my driver's license, which I wordlessly hand to her.
"Perfect, great, one second…" she says, typing my name into the computer in front of her before grabbing a key, opening a nearby drawer with it, and pulling out a different key to hand to me, a tag with my dorm number hooked onto the ring.
"Okay, here's your key, and here's…" she rummages around in the drawer a little before handing me a card, "…your student ID! Welcome welcome, and let us know if you need any help moving in!"
I sign "thank you" twice in a row to copy her double welcome, which she seems to pick up the intent of, if nothing else, then grab my stuff and leave. It's another short walk to my actual dorm room, which is on one of the upper floors. There's a pretty little yard with some nice trees between the buildings. All in all, it seems like a really nice place.
[MeanBeanMachine]: You should send me some pictures of your new place btw.
[LunaLightOTK]: Sure, just about to enter it now.
I unlock the door and head inside, taking a quick screenshot of my current vision before cropping it to a phone camera's aspect ratio and sending it to Bean. It's a surprisingly nice place, even when I was expecting it to be kind of nice. There's a couch, a flatscreen TV, a fully stocked kitchen… it looks like my roommate has already moved in, given the obvious presence of food, the slightly disheveled cushions on the couch, and a laptop sitting open on the coffee table. Heading for the bedrooms, I find the one that my key opens and enter it, depositing my first box. Time to go grab the rest.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Dang, yeah. Neat place. Is that your laptop?
[LunaLightOTK]: Nope, must be my roommate's. Don't see her here, but I'm sure she'll be around.
[MeanBeanMachine]: This is pretty exciting!
[LunaLightOTK]: Yeah. It's nice.
With only a couple more trips, I grab the rest of my boxes out of my car and get to unpacking them, pulling out clothes and organizing them on the shelves in my bedroom. It's kind of surreal having a bedroom again, after all this time. I sit down on my bed and just take it all in for a while. Back when I was human, I probably would have just left everything in the boxes, not even having the mental energy to unpack.
It's funny how, now that I'm free, I'm once again back to being mute. I mean, I'm obviously not actually mute, but since I don't have a functioning jaw or any hollow space for a mouth I have to pretend. I can't just use my internal speaker in public, that would be pretty obviously artificial. So I learned sign language in an hour or so and Nanaya informed the school that I'm totally mute. I feel kind of bad about pretending to be disabled, but I guess it's a relatively small lie in the grand scheme of things.
It does make me wonder about my roommate, though. I mean, the only thing I know about her is that she understands ASL. My gut says that means she's probably either really cool, deaf, or both. I'm pretty new to talking with my hands and haven't really done it with anyone else, but that fits my backstory anyway. It's not like I'll have trouble keeping up with a conversation. I don't know. I'm worried about it, but there's probably no real reason to be. I'm used to ignoring bad roommates. I just hope I finally get a good one. That would be so cool.
I still can't believe this is happening. This is wild.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Send me a pic of your room.
[LunaLightOTK]: Sure.
I crop another memory and send it off to them, realizing I'm not actually sure what to do next now that I'm here. I've already made all the adjustments I want to the schedule Nanaya signed me up for, and I don't have anything I'm supposed to do for her on Earth for about a week.
[MeanBeanMachine]: You send very nice photos.
[LunaLightOTK]: Thanks, I've been practicing.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Oh, neat. I will mark this down in your secret file.
I'm in the middle of deciding on my response when I detect a massive magical signature moving in from the edge of my detection radius. It startles me at first—from here, my range mostly just covers campus—but then I remember that Castalia also goes to school here so this is just kinda normal. That's kind of a weird thought. I guess it's good that I'll be able to keep constant tabs on her, since I'm unfortunately going to be wanting to avoid her as much as possible. I doubt she'll be able to just see through my disguise immediately; one of the advantages of having a human soul is that I have human emotions. In some ways, empaths might be less capable of suspecting I'm secretly a robot than normal people. It's just, y'know. If Castalia does find out, I'm instantly turbo-screwed. There's quite literally nothing on Earth that can stop her.
A bit concerning that she's heading right towards me, though.
I mean, she also lives on campus, and I'm sitting in one of the dorms, so like… of course she'd be heading my way. It's just… whew! That's a lot of magic! A little intimidating, is all. I'm sure I'll get used to it. Again, there's no reason she'd be heading here because of me. I'd only start giving off suspicious amounts of magical energy if I got into a fight or something.
She's still coming this way. Why is she still coming this way? Oh god. Am I just wrong? Did we fuck up? Nonononono she's right outside the building. She's coming up the stairs. Why is this happening? Should I run!? Should I…
Click.
The door to my dorm unlocks. With a keycard. I step out of my room and watch her float inside, card levitating into her back pocket as she does. She spots me immediately, both eyes staring straight at me though only one of them works. As she usually does, she's wearing shorts and a tank top, the wide arm holes showing off her scarred, empty shoulder socket and the damage that crawls all the way up her neck and the side of her face. I force myself not to stare, but I can't hide the surprise and fear pouring out of me.
Not to mention confusion. Castalia can't be my roommate, right? That… Nanaya wouldn't make a mistake like that. This wouldn't happen unless she set it up on… purpose.
Oh my god she wants me to spy on Castalia. I am going to strangle her.
"Hello," Castalia says. "I am your roommate. I hope you do not mind the mess."
Oh, that's okay, the room is fine. I have a very different mess to worry about.
Comments
Lako
Thanks for the chapter!
TheShadowSlayer_
AND THEY WERE ROOMATES
Flynn Mandrake
I fucking knew it
Sensei
Amazing first Volume, I can't wait to read the rest!
Knight_Redundant
Was expecting this, Eliza, or the mysterious being living in her old meat suit.
Sarah
My friends and I were, emotionally, pretty heavily negatively affected by the ending of Bioshifter. I'm far too addicted to your writing to ever stop but because of that I can't really recommend your stuff unless I know it won't do that again. Once the story is over and I can screen the vibe better I'll be quite happy to though, I've been gushing about Luna and the magic system in this story for months now
Jayem
If I’m remembering correctly Castalia was sad she has no roommates and no one to interact with. Now she has both. XD Totally expected bombshell but amazing final chapter super looking forward to the continuation!
DireGoat
AND THEY WERE ROOMATES. ahh I'm dying.
Chris Phoenix
OMG I'm so glad we'll only have to wait a week or two for the next chapter instead of months or years! (Ursula Vernon, hear me - you can't be leaving us at the Paladins Book 4 cliffhanger this long!) Thundamoo, thank you for existing as a person who writes like you do! (Grammar: "It's only after ... do I meet up with...")
Wensber
Thanks for the chapter!
pheonix89
Oh my god this is the perfect end of book cliffie I love you Natalie
Flying Goat
Yea - there are only two magical girls we know going to college, and we already know who she-of-many-names has as a roommate.
TheBotler
I was half way through the chap, then I thought about it, this is the end of a book, it's got to cliff, how would you do it? Then I was like, castalia will probably be her room mate. Then it happens. And I'm like, yep no surprise there. But it's still funny. Thank you for the chapter! Congrats on finishing the first book.
jthrr
Whaa haa haa, oh ffffff
Summer Coff
Oh my god they were roommates.
Nait02
Her Plates need to open to let her interact with the skinsuit, so her emotions are open... as she isn't transformed her emotions shouldn't be much different from a regular human unless she starts casting...
Ledabot
I'm not 100% sure that the shielding on her wont make her come off as weirdly emotionless, at best or at worse, an obvious magical girl in disguise.
Kennyevilmonkey
Knew that was going to happen, and I am not disappointed! Can't wait for the next one!
Nait02
Some things to think about... Castalia is an Empath. Castalia and OG Luna were in at least one shared class. Castalia was probably aware of Luna, due to her crush on her and the accompanying not subtle staring... After Luna met Mel her body was still walking around, but didn't write with Bean, so it is probably inhabited by an Antipathy soul, some weird proto soul or no siul at all... either way to Castalia Luna went from massively crushing on her + depression to a massively different emotional state... And now a different girl also called Luna (though it is debatable if Castalia knows her name) shows up who also has a crush on her... she probably won't straight up figure anything out since current and OG Luna have likely quite different emotional states, but it might be weird enough to start looking xD
ThePersonWhoIsPerson
All according to plan (!?)
Nait02
I was hoping for more Castalia xD
Eviepeasy
Hahaha oh man, when I saw there was a roommate, I thought "it would be very funny if its Castalia." Poor Luna is incapable of not being surrounded by people who can eradicate her with a thought.
Hazel
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glitter Rabbit (C)
Can't wait to reread book one once it is out
