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35. Roommates
🕑 Added 2025-03-16 07:42:46 +0000 UTCA/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the wait. In the last AYEH chapter I asked people if anyone would be be interested in NSFW content on one of the higher tiers. I got a lot of good feedback on that, and I'm back to ask the question again, with some new parameters and clarifications. One! It seems like the consensus is mixed enough that, if I did this, it might work better as a different, entirely separate Patreon? Not sure how hard that is to set up, but people made a lot of good points about not wanting to mix the two or get emails with content they don't approve of just for wanting to support me. Two! I want to clarify that this would not be writing content. I'm ace as fuck. I don't actually like writing sex scenes and I don't want to unless it happens to be important to the characters or story—and if that's the case, it's just going to go in the story itself. What this would be is me commissioning other artists (the same artist that works on most of the non-pornographic art I feature) to draw questionably-canonical scenes of adults doing adult activities. Emphasis on the activities: as mentioned, I'm ace, and I think pinups are boring as all hell. I can't stand them. It's lazy. This will be higher effort than that. Three: a lot of people said they'd be interested if it updates frequently, and that's not something I think I can guarantee? Like, maybe, but I'm not interested in even attempting to commission porn from artists I don't know (again: I do not do the fuck) and art takes time, so assume I wouldn't be able to guarantee more than maybe one pic a month. How much would you pay for that? Does this seem like a good idea? The opinions of you MGMH readers will be the most important, because that's probably what most of the commissions are gonna be for. Certainly the first one. Anyway, enough about pictures of naked people. Let's have a chapter with naked people instead. Enjoy!
I wonder if living in this dorm will ever start to feel real. After everything that's happened the last few months, everything I've become, everything I've suffered, the idea of just going to college like a normal person feels absurd enough to be impossible. The fact that my roommate is constantly levitating doesn't really help matters.
She's currently showering before bed and I just… god I really hope she can't read emotions through walls because my stupid robot brain is quite a bit more capable at extrapolating what a naked, soaped-up Castalia would look like than my human brain ever could have dreamed of being and that's… invasive. Fucked up. Wildly inappropriate. Like normal people imagining each other naked is already a little weird but I can construct entire high-fidelity 3D models in my brain from passively-gathered sensory readings that let me extrapolate her exact measurements. So like. This is getting deleted and flagged as an activity to never do again. What the hell, me.
I still wonder why I can even feel this way. Even if someone agreed to have sex with me it's not like I could feel it. It would just be me doing stuff for them, which… wouldn't actually be that bad, come to think of it. That could be really nice, actually.
…I wonder if the idea of performing services for Castalia is appealing to me because I know she was close to Melpomene once.
The thought makes me physically cringe, disgust welling up inside me as I curl into a ball on the couch. Damn it, why did I think that? Fuck! Fuck, I don't even know anymore. Oh, god, that one is going to haunt me. This body is so wonderful until it suddenly, really isn't.
I need something to do. There are some dishes in the sink and I'm sure the kitchen needs cleaning in some capacity or another, so I stand up to start with that. I suppose the fact that I used to despise chores but now I kind of like them is another thing to be concerned about, but there are at least reasons for it tied to my new form that aren't based around my obligatory servitude. My executive function issues made chores exhausting and painful. I can only do so many things in a day, and spending valuable mental energy on dishes was never an appealing prospect. It felt like a sunk cost, that by putting effort into cleaning I would be missing out on doing more enjoyable tasks—because yes, enjoying myself with an activity I actually like also seemed to draw from that same pool of motivation.
None of that is an issue anymore, though. On the contrary, I am so glutted with the capacity for action that I get anxious not constantly spending it all on something. Half of the things I find the most enjoyable, like composing music or talking to Bean, can be done concurrently with chores anyway, entirely within my own mind, without any risk of one task distracting from the other. So I get the satisfaction of getting work done, doing something enjoyable, and completing a task that other people will be thankful to me for doing, all without any real downside. It's pretty great.
Wow, the inside of this microwave is filthy, though. This is like eighty percent hot pocket splatter by volume. I wonder if Castalia knows how to cook? I should cook for her. She said she likes Italian, right? Nanaya taught me all kinds of great Italian recipes.
I hear the water in the bathroom shut off, so I make a point to focus extra hard on cleaning things while Castalia dries herself off and, eventually, exits the bathroom. I glance over to her, and holy god above those are the cutest pajamas I have ever seen in my entire life.
She's wearing a bright yellow onesie patterned with cartoon owls, all of which are in various states of confusion, excitement, or hilarious failure. Some of them are depicted faceplanting after failing to fly, others are trying to hang off a branch upside down like a bat and ending up with their heads comically inflated with blood, while another is trying to steal a box of pizza and finding it too heavy to lift. The entire thing is custom-fit, with only one sleeve and that sleeve having no opening at the end, simply curling snugly around her stub like a mitten. The hood, which she has up despite her still-drying hair, has both of the cartoon owls' enormous eyes patterned on top of it.
When she notices me staring, she tilts her head to the side just like some of the pictures on the pajamas.
"What?" Castalia asks.
"I love your clothes," I sign.
"Oh," Castalia says, bobbing slightly up and down in the air. "Thank you. And thank you for… cleaning?"
She floats over to get a better look at the kitchen, her eyes widening slightly.
"Yes," she confirms. "Thank you. I hope I am not too messy."
"It's fine," I assure her. "I like to clean."
"I see," Castalia says, seeming a little dubious of my claim, but opting not to press the point. "Well, the bathroom is free if you need it. I do not think I used up all the hot water, but if I did please let me know and I will heat up the boiler for you."
Heat up the boiler? Shouldn't that be entirely automatic? No, wait, she means…
"The hot water boiler for the building?" I ask. "I don't think it is your fault if that runs out. And I think the maintenance people might be mad if you just magically flash the water it's trying to heat up to temperature."
Castalia blinks.
"No one has complained so far," she tells me.
Well, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say to that. If the water heater is bad enough that this comes up often, everybody else in the building will probably be very mad at me if I get Castalia to stop… 'fixing' it.
"I don't think it will be a problem," I sign. "I take very short showers."
Which is more or less a thing I've decided just now, but it's not like I can enjoy the feeling of hot water on my skin the same way I could before. And I don't really care, honestly. I don't actually need showers for anything anymore, since I don't sweat and have other ways of getting my body clean if needed, so I'm just showering because it would be really weird if I didn't. Thea already tested to make sure the suit is watertight, so there's no reason to avoid showering either. It's just one of those things I'm going to be doing to keep up my disguise, like the little timer I have in the back of my head to alert me if I've gone too long without pretending to pee.
Oh, shoot. If I make Castalia dinner she's going to expect me to eat it with her. I need to figure something out for that first. Dang it!
"Is everything alright?" Castalia asks. Oh yeah! The empathy I'm not supposed to know about. Every single time my mind goes on an upsetting tangent she's going to feel it! That's not horribly intimidating at all.
"Just thinking," I dismiss. "Going to shower. What time do you sleep?"
"Usually in an hour or two," Castalia answers.
Holy shit, she goes to bed at nine?
"Are you an early riser?" I ask.
"No," Castalia answers. "I just sleep a lot."
Huh.
"Flying around all day that tiring?" I ask.
She shakes her head, but doesn't elaborate further. Well, fair enough, I guess. I can't be too offended by someone keeping secrets, so I shrug it off and start putting the cleaning stuff away, heading for the bathroom.
"I could stay up a bit later," Castalia says right before I grab the door. "Since classes haven't started yet, if you wanted to do something."
I look back at her, her toes curled underneath the booties of her onesie. Oh god, she's anxious. Is this really the girl who has repeatedly saved the world?
"I would love to hang out," I assure her. "Game? Movie?"
"I do not have any games," she admits. "But I have some movies."
"Let's watch a movie," I tell her, then head into the bathroom. Then I remember I don't have my towels or a spare change of clothes in here, so I exit the bathroom, grab my things, awkwardly give Castalia a smile as I notice she's just continuing to float where she was before, and then head back into the bathroom. Oh my god she is cute. Nanaya, if this was on purpose, I am going to kiss you. On the cheek. As a friend.
My power reserves just increased by two percent. Haha hoho weeeeee! Ooh that's on top of the chunk I already got just for seeing those pajamas. Aaaah they're so ridiculously good!
Okay. Okay, calm down. Shower time. Wow this is going to be the first shower I've taken in months, that's kinda gross. I mean not really, since I have self-cleaning features and Thea gave me those incredible deep-cleaning sessions a couple times, but it's still kind of odd. The bathroom here is a bit small but otherwise fairly normal, barring the shower itself which is a lot bigger than I expected. There's even a whole seat in there, which… huh.
Is this a handicap shower? That's interesting. I suppose Castalia certainly qualifies as handicapped, despite being able to fly and pick stuff up with her mind and whatnot. Well, I won't say the extra space isn't welcome. I should probably stay off the seat, though. I don't want to break it with my giant metal ass.
True to my word, I take a quick shower. It's still a little weird seeing my skinsuit naked, but it's not a bad weird. If anything it's a good weird, honestly. I really love how Thea made me look. After a quick rinse I towel myself off, pop on my own set of PJs (which are unfortunately just basic ones Nanaya bought at Costco, but at least they're also yellow! …Oh my god she totally knew.) and head back out into the main room, where Castalia is sitting on the couch with her knees hugging her chest, a bowl of freshly-popped popcorn in front of her, and a spread of several movies fanned out on the table to choose from. I plop down on the couch next to her, feeling her excitement and anxiety and knowing she feels my amusement in response.
Leaning forward, I look at the movies on display. Huh. Quite a variety here. The first Shrek, nice. A schlocky-looking slasher film. A couple artsy old Oscar winners. And… wait.
"Is that a magical girl anime?" I sign incredulously.
"Yes," Castalia nods. "I like it."
"I thought they stopped selling those," I comment.
"Only in some places. This one is pre-convergence. Back when we thought magic wasn't possible. It is a good movie. I always cry."
"Are there post-convergence magical girl anime?" I ask. "That sounds… offensive."
"Yes. They are unpleasant. Most are political. Very anti–Earth Guardian. The happy ones do not get made anymore. Except for PreCure. It's okay."
Huh. Well, as curious as I am to watch an actual magical girl show with the world's most powerful Earth Guardian, I'm kinda… really fuckin' tired of magical girl stuff, actually? And I'd much rather get to know Castalia as just… a person, I guess. That's another fringe benefit of this whole robot kidnapping thing, actually. She's not a mythical figure in my mind anymore. She's terrifyingly powerful, sure, but I've been getting my ass kicked by her old teammate for a while now so raw strength has kind of lost its luster. Magic isn't some insurmountable gap between us anymore. Not that I can ever tell her that.
Still. Movies to get to know someone. I gotta say, I am morbidly curious about this horror flick. With a good movie, I just want to… y'know, watch the movie. But with a bad movie, we can riff on it, joke around, have some fun. So I tap it a couple times, immediately noticing Castalia starting to squirm.
"…The horror movie?" she asks. "Are you sure?"
Oh?
"Not a fan of horror?" I ask.
"Well. I have not actually watched that one yet," Castalia deflects. "I do not know if it is good."
"I am fully expecting it to be bad," I answer. "Let's watch it."
"Oh. Hmm. Oh dear. Okay? If that is what you want."
"It is!" I assure her. This is going to be fun.
My suspicions are quickly confirmed as the movie progresses: Castalia is terrible with horror movies. Hilariously terrible. When the main characters are wandering around the dark and the ominous soundscape starts to ramp up and the blurred movements start twitching at the corners of the screen she just loses it. Her eyes start trying to bulge out of her skull and her arms jerkily shake up and down and she is entirely enraptured despite how comically predictable this movie is. It's amazing. The most powerful girl in the world is sitting next to me on the couch and making mournful squeaking noises whenever a dude in a freaky costume walks by on screen.
I almost don't want to interrupt her groove… and then I realize it's actually a little difficult to do that in the first place because I'm mute, and she's so taken in by the movie she doesn't notice me trying to sign things. Which… come to think of it, is probably a lot less effective for movie riffing anyway, since unlike verbal communication she has to look away from the screen to participate in the conversation.
Eh. This is a solvable problem. I pull out my phone and open up a simple text-to-speech app, and then send .wav files to my phone of what I want to say instead of using it. But like. I'll still pretend I'm using it.
"So. Who do you think dies first?" I ask.
Castalia gasps in sudden terror, jolting an inch up off the couch and briefly glowing yellow before realizing it was just my phone, at which point she descends back down and simply stares at me in horrified shock.
"You think he's going to kill them…?" she whispers.
Ohhhhhh my god!? I can't help it. I have to fake a silent laugh, there's no way my emotional response would make any sense otherwise. I quickly tap away at my phone.
"Yes, he's going to kill them!" I respond, the digitized voice failing to truly represent the extent of my mirth. "It's a slasher movie, Castalia!"
"But why would he do that?" she whines. "They haven't done anything wrong…"
"Do you know what a slasher movie is?" I ask.
"I do," Castalia insists. "I have watched them before. Mostly."
"What do you mean 'mostly?'" I ask.
"Well it's been several years," Castalia says, "but I used to have to… hide my face for most of them. I do not know why Thalia kept making me watch them."
Oh I think I know why she kept making you watch them. This is incredible.
"I did not expect you to be such a scaredy cat!" I admit.
"I am not. …Normally," she insists. "Not… anymore. But this is different. That man is being very mean and aggressive to innocent people. I don't like it."
"I'm not sure if the point of a horror movie is to really like it, per se," I command my phone to answer. "Especially not one this dumb. This one is barely even scary. You just have to take a step back and look at all the tricks. It's a movie. It's not real. You don't have to feel bad about it."
Castalia blinks.
"But I want to feel bad about it," she says.
She's not looking at the movie anymore, she's looking at me, her head once more tilted like an owl. So I respond by going back to sign language, since that would be more natural for my cover.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because it is important to feel things," she answers.
I feel my eyebrows scrunch together as I stare at her with worry.
"I don't think it's healthy to purposefully seek out bad things in order to feel bad," I sign. Experience tells me that's the sort of behavior that can seriously fuck someone up. Castalia gets very quiet as she considers my words, taking quite a while to ultimately decide on what to say.
"…It isn't healthy to avoid them, either," she decides. "A person will miss far too much, fleeing from suffering and strife. Like this movie. With you. It is worth the cost."
Oh, aha! Alright. Well, there go my blush subroutines. I give her a quick "OK" sign and return my gaze firmly to the screen. Not where I expected this conversation to go!
I know she doesn't mean that romantically. We literally just met and she's just… like that, I guess. She's intending to make a broader philosophical point and is completely unaware of how that comes off because of course she is, heaven forbid any current or former Earth Guardian have even the slightest conception of flirting. God, what is even happening in the movie now? Is that girl being chased by evil bees? Sure, why not.
Still, the rest of the movie is fun. Soon enough the mood returns and Castalia once more devolves into a series of adorably exaggerated reactions. She's very weird. I'm crushing on her real hard. I'll almost certainly ask her out at some point.
…Wow. It's weird I can think that and just believe it. I really could decide to ask her out and just do it, damn the fear and damn the consequences. I no longer need to worry about struggling to accomplish anything I set my mind to. There's no reason I can't just ask her. Other than, of course, the fact that I work for her sworn enemies and am bound to serve them and am secretly a robotic artifact that she's supposed to turn in to the Preservers and that any relationship between us—romantic or otherwise—is fundamentally built on lies that I am physically incapable of telling her about, no matter the circumstances. Which is an absolutely horrific basis on which to build a partnership of any sort.
So. Y'know, on second thought, I am absolutely never going to ask her out, ever. It's kind of fucked up that I'm befriending her in the first place, really. Oh I'm starting to spiral, huh? I could burn this off, but would Castalia notice if I just chew up this much emotion all at once? I mean she's going to notice I'm having a sudden depressive spiral if I don't, and that's going to be embarrassing. Come on, come on. Calm down, Luna. Do those meditation exercises Nanaya taught you. Think about music.
My skinsuit closes its eyelids as I consciously stop focusing on what I'm seeing and begin my exercises. The subroutine dedicated to ensuring I'm always presenting as realistically alive ensures every useless breath I take is long and deep, the air sac installed entirely to fake this function inflating and compressing within my chest as I push aside the depressed panic and focus northward, refilling my reserves as I calm myself down.
When I open my eyes again, the movie is nearly over. I glance over at Castalia to find her staring at the screen, small tears running down the intact half of her face. Maybe the movie was better than I expected. Or maybe she's just a bit of a sap, even for bad movies.
…Or she felt my sudden depression spike because she's an absurdly powerful empath. But even if she did, I don't think that would make her cry. Unless she thought she did something wrong? Gah, this is all so complicated. Empaths make social interaction even more complicated than it already always is. And one of the many lies I need to tell is pretending I'm not one of them.
"You okay?" I sign at Castalia after tapping her to get her attention. She gives me a firm nod, wiping her eye. I'm honestly a little surprised her blind eye isn't crying; the damage to her face would have to have been pretty extensive to block her tear ducts, wouldn't it? Then again, incarnate forms aren't exactly constricted to the limits of biology. They're a magical construct that presumably represents your innermost, truest self. They can be damaged and injured, and those injuries maintain continuity if you dismiss and remake the form, implying that in some way they are always part of you, even if invisible.
I remember Thea telling me that as much as I want to use my transformation stone now, it'll be far worse after I've used it at least once. I think I understand why now. I don't have an incarnate form. Not yet. But once I do have one, the knowledge that it's always there, the reality that even if I'm not using it I could be, and it would be my true self in a way my real body simply isn't? Yeah, that's pretty resonant. I know for a fact a feeling like that would fuck me up pretty bad. No wonder magical girls treat their stones as important enough to fight and potentially die over.
God. This just makes the Preservers even more fucked up. If you have to give up your stone to leave the Earth Guardians, of course no one would leave. I guess Castalia kept her stone when she retired, but… well, the Preservers still call on her whenever they feel like. And when they do, she answers. So she's not really retired at all, is she? Just not being on active duty isn't the same thing.
Damn it, why does the most terrible person I know have to ultimately be right? It's such bullshit.
"That was fun," Castalia deadpans, her face still a little puffy. "I should go to bed, though."
"You're strict about your bedtimes, huh?" I sign.
"Sleep is very important," she confirms solemnly, getting up from the couch.
"Well, I can sleep whenever," I tell her honestly. "I'll probably just set my schedule to match yours so I don't wake you up making noise."
"It likely will not be a problem," Castalia assures me. "I am a very heavy sleeper."
Huh. That was an oddly complicated series of emotions. Wonder what that's about. Shame I can't just ask, but of course normal human Luna couldn't have picked up on any of that.
But I guess it's a good thing, if it's true. I'll have to sneak out at night pretty regularly to run jobs for Nanaya. The less suspicious Castalia is of that behavior, the better.
"I might be out and about at odd hours then, if you're sure about that," I tell her. "I like taking walks at night. It's relaxing. I love the cold weather, especially. If I'm struggling to sleep I'll usually head out for a bit to calm my brain down."
"That won't bother me at all," Castalia assures me. "It is good you like walking. I do not like walking."
"I never would have guessed," I sign, staring pointedly at where her toes are floating an inch off the ground.
"Oh. Well. That's okay. It is not an important piece of information," Castalia assures me, and oh my god this dork doesn't understand sarcasm I guess? No. Surely she's fucking with me. She's an empath! Oh man, her poker face would be impeccable, how am I supposed to know one way or another?
"Right," I sign. "Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight, Luna," Castalia nods. "I look forward to an enjoyable and productive year of schooling with you."
"Likewise," I nod back. "It was nice to meet you, roommate."
She blinks, and her ever-present aura of joy grows that much stronger.
"Yes," she agrees. "It was."
She floats over to her room, opens the door, and locks it behind her as she enters. Hmm. Felt immediate enough to be a habit, not something she's just doing because I'm here now. We actually have physical keys to our personal rooms in addition to the house key, in case we don't trust our roommates. I don't think her room was locked when I got here, but I guess she locks it when she's inside, or at least when she goes to sleep.
Well, that's perfectly fine by me. I'll be doing the same, for obvious reasons. I suppose I should 'head to bed' myself. I walk into my room, lock the door, and sit down on the bed in spite of its loud protests. I'm obviously not tired—that's not a thing for me anymore—but I certainly wouldn't mind a rest. Today has been a lot. Pretty much all of it amazing, but still a lot. Booting up the messaging app in my brain, I send Bean a quick message.
[LunaLightOTK]: So it turns out that the most powerful human to ever exist is actually an enormous dork.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I can't decide whether to be stunned in shock or to just laugh my ass off.
[LunaLightOTK]: I have a sneaking suspicion that she is in fact autistic.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Based.
[LunaLightOTK]: I know, right? She's a bit weird to talk to but she's super nice. We watched a movie together. Really bad horror movie. She could barely handle it. Absolutely terrified by the whole thing. I think she almost destroyed the TV once.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I… I don't know what to do with that. This is incredible. Should you be telling me any of this…?
[LunaLightOTK]: You know better than to gossip. I just need to share this with someone, because… I mean, you're floored just thinking about it. I have to live here. You have no idea how relieved I am that she's cool. Can you imagine having beef with Castalia of all people?
[MeanBeanMachine]: Oh man yeah. That would be a horror movie. Like what do you even do about that. She's basically untouchable. Physically, politically, socially…
[LunaLightOTK]: She's still just a person. But… yeah, it would be bad. Come to think of it, isn't there something about magical girls frequently being romantically involved with one another? I always assumed it was a proximity thing, like, you're spending so much time fighting together you'll probably get pretty close. But I wonder if it's also a power dynamic thing.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Huh. Could be. It's probably a lot of different things. It's extremely common in superhero comics for the main character to have tons of dating trouble because they're like… well, there's something in their life that's fundamentally more important than their partner, right? When duty calls, they must answer, or people will die. And in traditional romantic culture, that's a huge no-no. It doesn't matter that it makes perfect sense to have priorities beyond your partner, it's expected—and often demanded—that the partner always comes first. But with people who share those other priorities, that's not an issue. It's easier for superheroes to date other superheroes because they skip that whole cultural quagmire.
Huh. Yeah. That is a good point, isn't it? Ignoring the fact that I'd have to lie to them anyway, making friends with normal humans is going to be weird, isn't it? One of the nice things about chatting with the Dark Rebellion is that even if most of them don't get the robot stuff, they get the power reserve stuff. They understand what it's like to have a ticking clock that kills you when it hits zero and the only way to wind it back up is to feel enough.
I won't have the problems Bean is talking about; my schedule is pretty open, and the Preservers certainly aren't going to call me up and ask me to beat up monsters for them. But there's still a difference in context. I wonder how much Castalia is holding herself back, how many things she wants to say but has to fear normal humans won't understand or take well. Hopefully I can make her comfortable enough to share magical girl stuff. Insider information would be very helpful to Melpomene.
…Agh. God. Fuck. Come on, think about something else. She ordered me not to care about stuff like that, right? And she meant it. She definitely meant it. I have to believe that.
[LunaLightOTK]: You might be onto something. I hope she's not hurting too much. She seems lonely.
[MeanBeanMachine]: An autistic child soldier celebrity that struggles with communication? Yeah, her ass has zero friends.
[LunaLightOTK]: Well, it has one now. And it is a very nice ass.
[MeanBeanMachine]: LOL
While I decide on a response to Bean's eloquent statement of mirth, a sudden and unexpected feeling of relief washes over me, like something forcibly caused me to relax a dozen tense muscles that I don't actually have. What the hell just… oh. Huh.
That overwhelmingly powerful feeling of joy is gone. Castalia must have fallen asleep. Or… no, that's not quite right, is it? Castalia… exited her incarnate form. I didn't expect that. I suppose it makes sense. Incarnate forms take constant emotional input to maintain, and that wouldn't really be reliable when unconscious. But I've never seen her real body before. I've never heard of anyone who has. …Well, I guess Melpomene probably has, but I'm not thinking about her right now.
She could be anyone, but that's her business first and foremost. I'm pretty sure her real self is and will always be Castalia.
[LunaLightOTK]: I should probably go to sleep.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Early by your standards.
[LunaLightOTK]: Well, my standards are changing. Sort of. Except for when they won't.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I'll see you at 3:00am then?
[LunaLightOTK]: No! Back, foul demon! Thou shalt not tempt me!
[MeanBeanMachine]: Hehehe hohoho.
[LunaLightOTK]: Seriously though please don't send me a message then it probably will wake me up. I mean, unless you need something. You know I'm happy to chat if you have a panic attack or something.
[MeanBeanMachine]: I do! But will I know it while I'm having a panic attack? That is always the question.
[LunaLightOTK]: I will chokeslam you into a volcano if you don't message me when you need help.
[MeanBeanMachine]: That would be so sick though!? Now I'm extra incentivized to self-harm.
[LunaLightOTK]: BEAN.
[MeanBeanMachine]: Ok ok ok I'll be good. Promise. Sleep well, friend.
[LunaLightOTK]: You get some sleep too, okay?
[MeanBeanMachine]: I will.
I set my status to 'offline' (always a lie when I'm on Earth, but whatever) and flop back into bed, not bothering to get under the covers. I wonder if I actually could survive jumping into a volcano. Wait, I can just calculate this. Hey Wikipedia, how hot is… oh! Oh that's so cool. I totally can! I might even survive the Earth's core. …Veeeeery briefly. It all depends on how I configure my shields.
They are magic shields, after all. They do more than simply absorb force; they literally alter the way the laws of physics are applied to me… in order to absorb force, mostly. But that's magic in a nutshell, really. Infinite cosmic power… being used to fire bright pink energy blasts that pretend to have mass somehow. Well, usually not pink, but whatever. My point is, my shielding can adapt to optimize versus multiple different kinds of damage, and the less magical that damage is, the less effective it is at breaking my shields. A mundane warhead would do significantly less damage to me than a magical explosion of comparable force, so if I knew it was coming at least a second or two in advance I could probably tank a nuke. This is, apparently, pretty common—monsters resist non-magical damage, magical girls themselves resist non-magical damage, and so on. This just normally doesn't matter, because 'Earth Guardian punching me with her fist' is magical damage and it only gets worse from there.
Bluh. I don't wanna think about fighting children. New plan: passing the fuck out. Initiate pass-the-fuck-out mode in three, two, one—
Initiating sleep mode. Disengaging sleep mode. Elapsed time: eight hours, thirty-four minutes, twelve seconds. Sleep mode disengaged due to message received with detected keywords: Castalia.
—zero oh here we are, bye-bye over eight hours of my life. God that's still so disorienting. What's this about a message? Oh, huh. It's a message from Chloe.
I tried texting Castalia and she didn't answer. Do you know if she's busy?
Huh. That's… a weird message. I wasn't under the impression that the two knew each other that well. Plus the sun is barely up, it's early as heck. Something concerning must be happening.
She's still asleep, I text back. Is something wrong?
Oh duh of course she is I'm stupid, she sends me. It's just that Eliza went to the hospital last night and she hasn't come home yet and I'm getting really worried. She hasn't responded either and like. Okay, thinking about it I'm sure she's just also asleep, she wasn't even injured. But. Agh. idk I'm catastrophizing over nothing probably.
Oh gosh.
This doesn't sound like nothing. Why's she at the hospital? I ask.
Her team got hurt. Little kids. Like ten years old or something.
Fuck. Veritas and Aurora.
I'll wake Castalia up, I say. Or I'll try, anyway. She said she's a pretty heavy sleeper.
Thank you. Sorry to bother you.
I roll out of bed, exit my room, and head over to Castalia's door. I obviously can't get inside, and I can't shout at her, so that pretty much leaves banging on the door itself. I make sure to do it nice and loud—
Structural analysis indicates wood is relatively new and sturdy; target volume easily achieved without risking the object's integrity.
—giving the wood several loud bangs in a row. I don't know anyone who could sleep through that. And yet… nothing. No apparent reaction, no burst of the usual joy that comes with Castalia's incarnate form. Hmm. Either she wasn't kidding… or she's just not in her room.
My suspicions are assuaged as I bang on the door a second time, though. That finally seems to wake her, and I hear a few muffled words and feel the magic of an incarnate transformation occur in her room before she opens the door and groggily floats towards me.
"Why are you doing that…?" she mumbles, seeming more than a little annoyed. As my answer, I simply give her my phone, open to the conversation with Chloe.
"Oh," Castalia says, her eyes widening fractionally. "Thank you for waking me. I should go."
I nod. I'm tempted to ask if I can come with her, but that would be super weird, so I don't. This Luna isn't supposed to know either of them, but… well, I do, and I really, really hope they're okay. They're good kids. They don't deserve anything bad happening to them.
Castalia flies off, leaving me alone at home. Which… is kind of awful. I'll go crazy if I have nothing to do in this kind of situation. I sent Chloe a quick text informing her Castalia is going to go check up on the girls and then start getting dressed to go outside. Castalia's missing a few of my preferred cleaning supplies and tools, and I wanna get some food to make for her at home. Fuck the eating issue, I'll figure something out.
I grab an empty backpack and head on out to do my shopping, reading Chloe's return text—mostly just a mix of worry and thanks. She's clearly not doing very well, so I invite her to go shopping with me, and she agrees. I meet her by her dorm, and we head out.
"I can drive us, you know," Chloe points out. "We don't have to walk all the way there and walk everything we buy all the way back."
"I like to walk," I sign, since this is an established aspect of my human identity now. "I will carry your bags if you want."
"You don't have to do that," Chloe sighs. "It'll be good exercise anyway."
I nod.
"You understand," I tell her approvingly. "Endorphins will help you feel better. Have you eaten?"
"I… haven't," she admits. "I could barely sleep."
Hmm. I should be reassuring somehow.
"Earth Guardians are very, very sturdy," I promise her. "They will be okay."
"I know," Chloe sighs. "I know. It's just… this is the first day we're living together, and she's already watching over comatose kids. I'm not sure I totally grasped how stressful this was going to be. I mean… comatose kids. Can you imagine what she's feeling?"
I suspect I won't have to, next time we see each other. But I don't say that, of course, and before I can say something else Chloe's phone buzzes. I've already instinctively decoded the message before she reads it, which… whoopsies, didn't mean to invade your privacy, I'll try not to do that again.
You sent me a lot of messages, Eliza says. Sorry for not responding sooner. Veritas' arm is in worse shape than expected, and she reacted badly to some of the stuff they gave her. Doctors figured it out but it was bad for a while. Aurora hasn't woken up since she passed out. She's probably okay but I'm scared. I'm going to kick the ass of the bitch who did this next time I see her.
Wait. Oh, shit. No. You've gotta be fucking kidding me. 'The bitch who did this?' It wasn't monsters!? No way. No, no, no, we don't do that, or we're not supposed to! Right? The Dark Rebellion isn't like that. Thea would never hurt a kid that badly. Even Anath wouldn't go this far. Melpomene might, I can definitely believe it, but if I'm being honest she'd be more likely to just slap them around and fuck off. But… it's still possible. And Nanaya… I like Nanaya. She's really grown on me a lot.
But she's totally the one who sent a pair of children to the goddamn hospital, isn't she? Ugh. Sorry, Eliza, you're gonna have to wait in line. I've got a few choice words for her I need to say first.
Comments
Nameguy
Tftc😎👍.
Lako
Thanks for the chapter!
Stephen Clarke
The rebellion girls really need to work on pitching their cause. Maybe hand out a pamphlet, talk to the magical girls, run a PR campaign saying their goals and complaints so that people know about it before becoming magical girls. They combat the root preserver method of recruitment by improving homelessness and the care system but make the rebellion look good so that new magical girls are more inclined to defect,
haidbz
I love me some nsfw stuff. As for how much I'd be willing to pay, I think about 2-3$ per pic to a maximum of 5$ per month.
TheShadowSlayer_
I have zero interest in NSFW stuff for these girls. Feels too predatory, since at least two are mentally children (Minerva, Thea). Sure, it’s awesomely refreshing how casually Luna thinks about her sexuality, but only from a character perspective. Mel’s boobs on the cover are almost too much for me.
AntiClimax she her
Huh, the way I experience embarrassment (or shame or guilt) is fear of others' disgust. So the only way I see cringe as disgust is the way people judge other people for being 'cringe'. Or, I suppose, if someone internalizes their own shame and experience it as self disgust, but guilt and shame don't need to be internalized or self imposed to that extent to be experienced. They can and are often externally imposed. I guess it's a matter of perspective. :shrug:
Irene Knapp
I have to advise that you not do it as a Patreon, even a separate one. You risk your standing on the platform by doing so, because the policy enforcement lines around queer content keep moving in ways that are ultimately driven by the Heritage Foundation's longstanding legal campaign to interpret SESTA/FOSTA in the broadest ways possible. Every year or so you will find queer creators being surprised and upset about another policy shift, and a significant portion are banned from the platform. Use a ko-fi or some entirely separate platform.
doma
Yeah, i'd pay some for an art series subscription. Doesn't need to be only busting bodices all the time. I mean, it could be Cas and Luna watching a movie one month, a selfie snap (art) from Jet and Alma's world travels, the next. I'd eat it up.
M. Gunnarsson
Castelia is one hundred percent, absolutely, definitely a good empath. What are the odds that she's just THAT good at masking?
Catamony
Luna figured that out fast, I’m personally here to read and wouldn’t pay more for non-written NSFW stuff.
Kelly Chan
I must have more Castalia! She's the cutest thing ever!
Aetheo
@AntiClimax Well, yes? Self-disgust. But if we're putting it on this story's emotion wheel, it might be more helpful to think of it as opposite happy, leaning towards anger (disgust) versus fear (hopelessness). It's possible that cringe could be hopelessness, but I can't imagine most instances of it falling there.
Patter
Unfortunately I don't know the specifics, but I think there are a lot of things they don't allow and change the rules and enforcement sometimes. Really this is just something I've heard in general, but many nsfw artists have moved away from patreon or at least avoid posting their more explicit work here.
Saphy
I could read a hundred chapters about these two. I love it.
Quazzy
I can’t decide if it would be better that Luna’s throwing sciencey gang signs no one understands, or if she’s actually saying “happy juice”
Cameron Garfalk
Could do what Selkie (SelkieMyth) does, re: NSFW art. He has another tier above, that, once a month or so, gets a piece of art. It can be a full color, complicated image, it can be a line drawing of one of the characters in a compromising position. he hosts everything on google drive, and just links to it, so Patreon doesn't host it directly. Otherwise: it's the same as the 'normal tier'. a bit of extra income on his part, some lewd art (but not necessarily porn), and everyone is happy. SFW art question: are we gonna get skinsuit luna?
Natalie Maher
Could you expand on how Patreon is "weird" about porn?
Natalie Maher
FUCK
Klakkers
So... hypothetically... Melpomene could be the witch of cringe
Jane Shedden
Castalia is adorable watching the horror movie 🥰🥰🥰
AntiClimax she her
I feel like embarrassment is more closely related to guilt or shame (for having broken a social rule) than disgust. It's a reaction to redirect or prevent or acknowledge other people's disgust or judgement.
CertainlyaWitch
When it comes to a new tier or patreon, i would definitely consider it. I dont strictly need it to be regular since the whole reason I pay for patreons is to support the people who make the things i like. bonuses are just that. bonuses.
Kennyevilmonkey
I can't wait to see her Incarnate form. It's just too bad that it will probably a very serious or bad situation when we finally do get to see it.
Patter
Amazing chapter as always. As for the nsfw, I'd definitely pay for it. I don't think a new patreon is the way to go though. Patreon can be weird about porn so I'd avoid posting the images here at all. My recommendation is to make a new tier for it and have it give a discord role that gives access to a channel where you post the art. Either that or just make the patreon posts links to google drive or dropbox or something. That way no one has to worry about getting nsfw emails. Also, you said you don't like pinups, but what about edits to the existing character art? That's something relatively low effort that could quickly get a few pictures ready to incentivize joining the tier when it launches.
Sensei
Thanks for the chapter! "her arms jerkily shake up and down" she only has one arm
Troglodyt
Nice chapter. Cute, relaxing with a little pinch of dread.
Pyrefiend
Does "endorphins" have a translation in sign language or does it need to be spelled letter by letter? Same for any sciencey words too
Nait02
Luna chewing out Nanaya will be amazing
Acrules
Pretty sure embarrassment also falls under disgust anyway
Gannon
A few things: as to the art.... As much as I would love to see it, the infrequency doesn't really lend itself well to patreon. I prefer getting the bonus art as a welcome surprise rather than something I feel like I'm obligated to get. Secondly, I'm pretty sure this line is referring to opportunity cost and not sunk cost. I have the same lack of mental energy and its one of the few things from Micro Econ class that's stuck around all these years. "It felt like a sunk cost, that by putting effort into cleaning I would be missing out on doing more enjoyable tasks"
Icosa
Castalia is adorable aaaaaaaaa
Supernova
AND THEY WERE THE BESTEST CUTEST ROOMATES EVER !! TFTC !!!
Elo2Coon
I love how chapter title can create various reactions x) Is it a ref, a pun, etc.
Glitter Rabbit (C)
It's so interesting how cringe has changed into a contemptuous concept. Originally, it was closer to second hand embarrassment but then the internet did its thing
Wensber
Thanks for the chapter!
Sabrina Myers
I personally think NSFW content might be nice and kind of cute depending on the characters! Also great chapter
Nova
And they were roommates
Nova
I'd assume disgust
Aetheo
It has to be disgust, doesn't it? Nothing else makes any sense to me.
Klakkers
What emotion would cringe fall under?
![[SYK] from patreon](https://patrefans.com/kistorage/56232.jpg)
