thundamoo
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48. Frustrations
🕑 Added 2025-07-27 06:49:28 +0000 UTCA/N: And we're back! Thank you all for being patient. Enjoy the chapter!
I withhold a groan of annoyance as the mess of numbers on the page in front of me floats into my head and drags its way through the fuzzy interior, scraping against my exhausted brain cells. I'd like to say I'm doing my best to listen to this lecture from my math professor, but I'm not sure I could even tell you what kind of math I'm supposed to be learning. I forget the name of the class, and for that matter I forget the name of the professor.
It's not like this really matters anyway. I'm going to be an Earth Guardian until I die. College is just something to take up the time I'm too exhausted to spend training but too awake to spend sleeping. It's not really a big deal if I don't learn any of this stuff.
It's still annoying to struggle this much, though.
Yeah. True. It is annoying. Clearly, I should be using my anger at math to power my attacks from now on.
Hehe. Indeed! Math is an injustice worthy of our fury!
Pfft. Dork. Now help me out with this, you're better at thinking than I am.
Aww, don't say that about yourself! But um, hmm… well this problem has a big letter P as part of the equation, so it's probably probability!
Oh, right, duh. How do we do probability?
I dunno!
Cool. Awesome. Thanks for the help, Minerva.
Any time!
"Hey, um… are you an Earth Guardian?"
"Huh?" I blink, turning to an unexpected voice beside me. Some girl I've never spoken to in my life is sitting there, whispering personal questions for fun, I guess.
"You're Fulgora, right?" she presses.
Well, this was going to happen eventually.
Yeah, it was inevitable. But right now? In the middle of class? I was expecting to at least get asked after the bell rang or something.
It's easier to understand than math, anyway.
"Um… yeah, I am," I confirm uncomfortably. "Why, do you need something?"
"Kind of," the girl answers, and after a couple tired blinks I manage to consciously process her face. Brown eyes, brown hair, and a couple freckles on her cheeks that barely stand out from her tan. Her hair is up in the kind of full-headed ponytail that runners use to keep their bangs out of their face. An outdoorsy type, I guess, certainly a lot more so than Luna or Chloe.
"I'm curious what you think about all the stuff that's been going around online," she says. "Like, is it legit or is it bunk?"
"What stuff?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows a bit. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, uh, do you… not know?" she asks back.
"I don't really get online much," I admit. "Is it something I should know?"
"Uh… I guess that depends on how real it is," she says, quickly typing a search online, clicking a link, and turning her laptop to face me. "This 'Dark Rebellion' stuff. They mention you by name a couple times."
"What!?" I yelp, immediately a bit more awake as I take in the webpage in front of me, images of Melpomene, Amalthea, Nanaya, and Anath all immediately catching my eyes before I actually start to process the text on the page, which gets into things like 'breaking the Preserver monopoly on magical violence' and 'detailing the hidden history of the Dark World.' There's even a link to a page that claims to detail the basic properties of magic, which I of course click, and… oh my god. This was definitely written by someone with Earth Guardian experience.
"The 'Dark Rebellion…?'" I mutter to myself. I vaguely remember Nanaya calling her group that, back when she was trying to burn me alive.
"It's kind of a dorky name, isn't it?" the girl comments. "Like something from a Saturday morning cartoon. But if it's a fake, it's a pretty well-made fake, right?"
"I should go," I say, standing up with my heart pounding in panic.
"Uh, wait, what? Does that mean it's real?" the girl asks, but I don't answer, just shouldering my backpack and speed-walking out of the classroom. What the hell is going on!? Are they really just giving all this information to people? That's bad, bad, bad, we're not supposed to do that!
I mean, we told Chloe.
There's a big difference between telling our best friend and telling the entire world!
Well yeah, I guess. I'm just saying, nothing bad happened. We probably don't have to like, PANIC panic.
God, I can barely tell which one of us is the green mage anymore. I rush out of the building, quickly dialing Uma'tama's number into my phone as I head towards the closest Earth Guardian base entrance. Holding the phone up to my ear, I listen to the expected four rings before—
"Hello? Eliza?"
Oh wow, they actually picked up.
"Hey, Uma'tama, have you seen the website the Corrupted apparently made?" I ask.
"Boy have we!" they answer, their voice almost manic from stress. "Rest assured, we are handling it. There's no action you need to take at this time."
Oh. I slow down a little, though my feet still find themselves heading towards base regardless. It's just where I'm used to going when there are potential problems.
"Um, okay? Are you sure?" I ask. "This is a major violation of Earth Guardian rules, right?"
"It is, yes, and we failed to stop it," Uma'tama agrees. "But there's little that can be done on the Earth side of things. Incidentally, do you feel that you are overworked?"
"What?" I blink. "Uh… no. Of course not."
"Are you often tired?"
"Uh, I guess so."
"Do you have significant time to perform non-Guardian related activities?"
"Well, I don't… I mean, I just do Earth Guardian stuff most of the time. I'm an Earth Guardian."
"Facinating," Uma'tama says. "Stay safe, Fulgora, Minerva. Goodbye for now!"
…And she hung up on us. What the heck? That was so weird. But I guess… it's not a problem? Or not a problem for me. Which is weird, but okay.
My phone buzzes unexpectedly, and I nearly drop it checking to see if it's Uma'tama sending something else, but… nope, just Chloe. She's asking if I'll be home for dinner today. I send off a quick affirmative; as far as I know, there aren't any convergences expected today. Even the Corrupted's castle isn't in sync with Earth right now, so hopefully I won't have to worry about them for a bit.
I guess we should head back to class?
And deal with the awkwardness of having left in the first place? No thanks. Not to mention that girl, who will definitely interrogate us. Let's just head back to the dorm.
Oooh, ditching for reasons other than saving the world? You're becoming a downright delinquent, Fulgora!
I'm just freaking out a little, okay? Our name was apparently publicized on the internet! Some random girl I don't know recognized me!
I mean, she probably wouldn't have if not for all the times we've skipped class to deal with incursions. I think most people in our classes know, but I doubt most people outside our classes do.
Yeah, until the information gets spread all across campus because of whatever's going on with that website! How did she even know about it? There are like, probably a million websites on the internet. Is it a social media thing, too?
I guess? I don't know any more about it than you do. You should let Chloe know we're heading home early.
Oh, right. I send her a quick clarifying message before putting my phone away, taking my time as I walk back to my apartment. It's still kind of weird having an apartment. I miss Jim.
We should visit! He's probably lonely, too.
Hmm. Yeah. I mean, now that he doesn't have to pay for us as much he probably got a cat or something. Maybe a parrot. Maybe both if he can make sure they don't kill each other.
Either that or he's saving up to get his veterinary degree.
Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Yeah, he'd be so good at that. Actually, fuck it, change of plans. Let's go say hi to my brother. It's been at least a month since we last saw him, that's way too long. You think he's working right now?
Almost definitely.
Hmm. He's probably too busy to hang out, then. I'll head over around closing time and try to catch him on his way home. And if I miss him I guess I'll just… go home. Back to the apartment in the meantime, then.
We probably shouldn't miss dinner anyway because we told Chloe we'd be home.
Oh yeah! Good thinking, Minerva. We make it back to our apartment building, head upstairs, and wander inside. Voices from the kitchen? Oh hey, Luna's here.
"I'm back," I announce.
"Eliza!" Chloe yelps, she and Luna turning to face me at the same time. Luna's holding her phone sideways. Showing Chloe a video, probably? "Hey!"
"Hi," I answer. "Everything okay?"
"Gosh, uh, maybe?" she says hesitantly. "But um, apparently the girl who tried to attack you in the mall did an interview and it's just like, super freaking sad, and apparently she mentions you a couple times, and uh. It's… really widespread now."
What.
"I… I heard today about the website, but what's this about an interview?" I ask.
"Oh geez, uh… I guess I'll just put it up on the TV, one sec…" Chloe says, heading over to our couch to do just that. Luna just watches me carefully with her usual silence, her expression as unreadable as usual underneath her facemask. I still don't have a good read on her.
She's nice!
She's helpful. That's not the same thing.
Huh? What do you mean?
Luna is helpful. She's always over here making food or reassuring Chloe or cleaning things even when we insist that we should be cleaning our own apartment. But I'm not sure I'd describe Luna as nice. She's kind of brutal with her words, and to some extent she's brutal with her actions. The way she just immediately attacked Anath was… I don't know. Isn't that weird for a normal person?
Chloe might have some idea of what's up with her. The two of them seem to hang out a fair bit. She's been hanging out over here a lot lately.
Yeah, I guess we could ask Chloe.
Or we could just ask Luna. She doesn't mince her words, so why should we?
Hmm.
"Okay, got it! Uh, go ahead and sit down to watch while Luna and I finish prepping for dinner," Chloe says, getting up and returning to the kitchen.
"It's like three o'clock?" I blink.
"I said prepping for dinner," Chloe says. "We won't make dinner for another three hours."
"Okay?" I manage, not having any idea what kind of dinner could possibly require preparing three hours in advance.
"Just watch the interview," Chloe sighs. "She, uh. She addresses you directly, so… yeah."
"Anath does?" I grimace. That can't be good. Nothing with that crazy girl is ever good.
The video isn't very long, at least, though I can already feel my body tensing up just by looking at that stupid monster's face. Crazy fucking bitch. There are a couple odd cuts near the start of the video, but once it gets going, it… certainly has momentum.
It's interesting. I never really thought all that much about the fact that she used to be an Earth Guardian. I even vaguely remember the team she talks about, though my shaky memory can't really put any faces to the feeling of familiarity. I would have only seen them in emergency situations, given they operated in a different part of the state. But Uma'tama knew them. Uma'tama knew them all.
And just like with my team, two died, and one was left broken.
It is, I admit, a hauntingly familiar story. My team never went teal, but… I certainly almost did. Both of them died at the same time, after all, with no chance of a sudden powerup to save them. One minute we were all alive and together, and the next minute… the horde was on us. Too big, too much. Neither of them could fly as fast as I could, especially when I was that afraid. So they fought, and I ran. I lived, and they died.
A lot of people died that day. Sixty-two people, to be precise. When Earth Guardians fail, monsters make it to Earth, and so the predictable occurs. I tried to memorize all their names, once, but my memory was almost as shot then as it is now. I'm pretty sure it was Castalia that ultimately cleaned up our mess while I cowered and cried, scouring the city of the Dark World infection. She wasn't retired then, just working solo after her own tragedy. So I thought I could work solo, too.
It was with Uma'tama's help that I managed to turn my despair into anger. I guess in retrospect, that might have saved my life. I wonder why they didn't do that with Anath's teammate.
Either way, this is what she meant, isn't it? When Anath said we're the same, she was talking about this. About being too weak to save the most important people in the world. About needing to have that strength so we never fail again. That's what she meant, right? But if that's the case, I just have all the more reason to be angry with her. Because she doesn't get it. If she left the Earth Guardians, there's no way she gets it.
They died in service to the Guardians. That's why we can never leave. That's why this is a decision for life. It was for them, so it is for us too. It's the only future we deserve.
"Eliza?" Chloe asks, sitting down next to me as I stare at the final frame of the now-finished video. "You okay?"
"Yeah," I assure her. "I'm fine."
My phone suddenly buzzes. It's… a message from Luna?
You fucking liar.
I read the three words over and over, a scowl forming on my face, I glare over at her, finding her leveling a rather unimpressed stare right back at me.
"What is your deal, anyway?" I demand. "There's something seriously up with you."
"Eliza!" Chloe interjects, looking even more worried. "Y-you shouldn't—"
She quiets down as I turn my phone so she can read the message.
"…Luna," she groans instead, sending an exasperated glance in the girl's direction. Luna shrugs unrepentantly, going back to cleaning our kitchen despite the fact that I'm pretty sure she's already made it spotless.
"Nuh-uh, you don't get to be a bitch and just shrug your way out of this," I press. "What exactly is it that you think you know about me?"
Luna sighs, pulling out her phone and typing away, my own phone buzzing shortly after.
I think you've been structuring your entire life around deadly combat for the past ten years and it has completely fucked you up in the head.
Is she talking about me?
If she is I'm going to kick her fucking ass, rules about fighting humans be damned.
"And you're just so normal and well-adjusted by comparison?" I snap at her. "Your first response to seeing a monster was to shove your goddamn hand in her mouth."
I never claimed to be well-adjusted, Luna types back, an odd mix of anger and fear wafting out from her. It's because I'm fucked up that it's so easy to recognize everything that's wrong with you.
"H-hey, both of you, let's calm down, okay?" Chloe tries to butt in, but I'm not having it.
"You don't understand anything," I snap. "You act like you're so smart, but you've never been there. You've never stood as the only thing between the Dark World and thousands of lives! That is more important than anything else! Don't you understand that!?"
Type, type, type, buzz.
I understand that's not a healthy way for any person to think.
With a crunch, my phone shatters in my hand, plastic and glass spilling out between my fingers without so much as scratching me. I stand up, stomping over to Luna.
"Then I'm not a person," I hiss. "I'm an Earth Guardian."
I barely keep the presence of mind to twist the doorknob before slamming the exit to my apartment open, stomping out of the room and away from campus. I don't even know where I'm going for a few minutes, only belatedly remembering I was planning to surprise Jim at work. It's a lot earlier than I planned, but at this point I think I just need a hug from my brother.
Stupid fucking Luna. What is she even on about? 'Not a healthy way for a person to think?' Bitch it's simple math! Simple enough even I can do it! One is less than a thousand! I'm risking my life so everyone else doesn't have to lose theirs! You can't fucking tell me that's not important! Does she think it would be 'healthier' for her and everyone else to die!?
I… don't think that's what she meant.
What the hell else could she have been saying?
I don't really know either, but if she thought saving people wasn't a good thing I doubt she'd spend so much of her time helping people.
I slow down my furious powerwalk. I… I guess that's a fair point. She's an asshole but it's not like she's heartless.
She helps people with actions instead of words. Kind of like us!
Yeah, I mean, I can respect that, even if I don't get why she keeps bothering us, specifically. Kind of like Chloe, really. I like her, but it's not as though I need her. She makes the parts of my life that don't really matter a lot happier, but… y'know. She's kind of useless for the important stuff.
Haha… maybe don't ever say that out loud.
Hey, I know! I'm not that dumb. I don't want to upset her or anything, it's not her fault. She can't help. She shouldn't help. That's kind of the whole point.
The bubbling of undirected energy inside me prompts me to run, so I do, just to have something to push away the fury. I'd shift into my incarnate form if it wasn't still healing, the ache of damage from the fight with Nanaya mostly gone after this long but still distinctly present. And I just… don't feel like giving up the body to Minerva right now.
It's alright. We're both a little angry.
You don't sound angry.
I don't feel anything quite as strongly while you're in control. Same for you, right?
Yeah, I guess so. Is that why you're so good at setting me straight?
It helps. It's easier to be what you need me to be.
Hey, you don't have to do that.
It's the least your PTSD symptom can do, isn't it?
No. Hey, no! Minerva. You're amazing. You are everything I needed, even though I didn't know it at first, and it's not because you made yourself that way. It's because you are yourself. We wouldn't have gotten that far against Nanaya without you, not in a million years. And next time, we'll be even better. Next time, we'll win. We'll climb the ladder of power higher and higher until not even Castalia can beat us. We'll take down Melpomene, we'll take down the whole Dark Rebellion, and everyone will finally be safe! And it'll all be thanks to you.
I… yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm kinda great, huh?
You are! Fuck the whole 'PTSD symptom' bullshit up the ass. You and me are two halves of a greater whole. You are what makes me strong.
And you do the same for me!
Right! Exactly! I mean, I hope so.
You do, you dummy! I'm your caution and you're my courage. Who cares what Luna or anyone else thinks? We'll protect everyone no matter what anyone says!
Yeah! Yeah, we will. We will!
The pep talk with Minerva helps a lot, and my run stops being a desperate attempt to burn off energy and more a comfortable ache in my muscles to remind me how far I've come. I even start feeling a little bit bad for blowing my top at Luna, but… only a little. It's good that I managed to break out of my funk, I wouldn't want Jim to have to deal with me while I'm like that. He's good at it, but he shouldn't have to handle my shit. He's done more than enough for me. It's time I handled everything myself. We're almost to his store, too, so hopefully I'll—
"Hey, Jim?"
No.
That… that was Anath's voice.
No, no, no, no, no you fucking monster. Not here. NOT TODAY!
I burst forward with both more and less speed than I was expecting, half of my mind trying to take flight despite the fact that I'm not in an incarnate form. Yet magic still pushes me forwards, launching me down the street and stopping in front of the shop so I can yank open the doors and rush inside. There she is. I leap, fist pulled back and ready to come down.
"Woah! Hey Ful-aagh!"
Cheekbones crunch against my knuckles, the skin on my fist splitting open at the point of impact, but Anath goes sprawling, toppling backwards and crashing into one of the display stands for dog toys. Before she can recover, I yank her up by the collar of her shirt and slam my forehead down into hers, pain ringing out dull and barely felt through the fury.
"You stay the fuck away from my brother!" I roar at her.
"I'm sorry!" she yelps. "I surrender! I surrender!"
What?
What?
Surrender? Anath doesn't surrender, she fights until I beat her so hard she needs to run away. The words are so incongruous I have a split second of panic where I think I just headbutted some random bystander, but… no, this is very obviously Anath, there aren't any other girls with slate-blue fur and jagged yellow crystals growing out of her body. But why would she… wait. Is she… crying?
"Sorry," she blubbers miserably, welts forming on her cheek and forehead. "I fucked up and did something stupid and now I'm stranded on Earth and I didn't know where to go I'm sorry."
"H-hey, Eliza," Jim says behind me, he and a couple terrified customers all staring at me. "I'm okay, don't worry. She wasn't attacking me. Didn't even break anything."
I glance awkwardly at the display stand she technically broke when I smacked her into it. …Okay, that I technically broke when I smacked her into it.
"…She broke half the store the last time she was here," I defend myself. "And half of my bones."
"Y-yeah, trust me, I know," Jim agrees, nodding fervently enough to shake his mop of hair every which-way. "But, uh, what was I going to do, really? Call the police?"
"You should have called me."
"I… did? Is that not why you're here? I mean, you didn't pick up, but…"
The weight of the shattered phone in my pocket tugs at the increasing embarrassment blooming in my mind.
"Um, my phone broke. Came here by total coincidence, actually," I admit. "So you're good? Everything is good?"
Except for Anath existing anywhere within ten miles of my brother, obviously. I'm not buying her apologetic act for even one second.
"I'm good," Jim assures me. "And hey, it's good to see you again. Do you, uh, mind helping me clean this up?"
"Oh," I say, dropping Anath and turning to the scattered dog toys. "Yeah, uh, sure."
"C-can I help?" Anath asks.
"No," I snap. "Stay there. Or leave, I guess."
"O-okay," Anath agrees, although she unfortunately chooses 'stay there.' Ugh, this is just what I needed today. Keeping one eye on her, I help Jim clean up the stuff I scattered, getting the display back in order. Anath just sits there, looking utterly miserable. What was it she said during her interview? 'I only hate myself half the time?'
I shake my head, tossing those thoughts aside. It's Anath. She doesn't deserve my pity, and she certainly doesn't deserve my sympathy. I need to lure her away from people and kick her ass so I can take her back to base and keep her there this time.
"How about you take your lunch break, Jim?" my brother's boss says, walking up and speaking to us from a cautious distance.
"Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah, good idea," he agrees. "Thank you."
Anath perks up very slightly at the word 'lunch.' I scowl.
"You don't think you're coming with us, do you?" I tell her.
"U-um… I mean, I wasn't… I'm really hungry," she squeaks. "I haven't eaten since yesterday, but I didn't want to… steal anything again."
"Come on, Eliza, let's buy her lunch," Jim says, motioning me towards the exit.
"What!?" I snap. "Buy her lunch!? She smashed your store! She's beaten the shit out of me multiple times!"
"I can't beat you anymore," Anath says. "Nana said so."
"Like you've ever listened to people when they tell you what to do," I growl.
"I… no, I mean, if I tried I'd just… lose," Anath says. "Especially right now. I can't fight like this."
What? Well, I guess that makes sense. I have gotten a lot stronger. It's not like she's ever really seemed to care much about winning or losing, though.
"Okay, well… none of that matters," I say. "I hate you. Why did you come here? Why would Jim or I do anything for you?"
"Can we have this conversation out of the store?" Jim insists. "Come on, both of you."
"I… fine," I grumble, walking out after him with Anath shuffling behind me.
"So… how have things been, Eliza?" Jim asks as we head down the sidewalk. "You settling into college alright? Any trouble with your roommate?"
"Huh?" I blink. "Uh, no, Chloe's great. I'm… a little mad at one of her friends right now, but that's about it. Why are we—"
"I haven't seen you for a month!" Jim cuts me off. "I hear bits and pieces, but I'm always a little worried about you. It's a bit weird living alone. Not that you were ever home much, haha. Ooh, this place is good."
He suddenly turns into a fast food restaurant, Anath and I following automatically behind him. He… wait a second.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" I accuse. "You're trying to distract me."
"Is it working?" he asks. "Look, Eliza, I get that you don't like this girl. I don't like this girl. But I don't like it when people starve even more, so cool that fire a bit, okay? She's not attacking us, right?"
"Yeah, probably because she's too hungry to," I scowl. "You're too much of a bleeding heart for your own good."
"Says my sister who literally bleeds for other people on a regular basis," he counters.
"Thank you," Anath croaks. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm trying not to be bad."
I glance at her a little more closely, taking in some of the abject misery currently wafting off of her. Even her tail is dragging behind her on the ground rather than perked straight up like usual. I guess she's probably not faking it, but what is she doing?
"I'm not smart enough to do anything tricky," Anath says unexpectedly. "I'm being honest."
"Wh… what?" I blink. Did she read my mind?
"Y-you just felt skeptical. Sorry," Anath says. Huh. Just really good emotional reading, then? I've heard of hyper-sensitive Earth Guardians before, but I never figured Anath of all people would be one.
"So! Uh, you mentioned you were mad at a friend of a friend?" Jim says, shaking me from my thoughts as we step into line to order.
"Oh, uh, yeah. Her name's Luna," I say. For some reason, Anath lets out a squeak beside me. "She's Chloe's friend, and… I don't know, I guess she's maybe my friend? It's complicated."
"Complicated how?" Jim asks.
"Y-yeah!" Anath agrees. "Complicated how?"
"You shut up," I tell her, then turn back to Jim. "She's done a bunch of nice things for me. Like, she walked me back from the hospital when I was exhausted, and she's bought me a bunch of nice things, and she makes food with Chloe a lot for me. But she's just… I don't know. There's something off about her. She's gotta have like, a criminal background or something. That girl doesn't flinch at anything. She lockpicked my room open in like ten seconds when I lost my key. And her emotions are… weird sometimes."
"Weird?" Jim prompts. "Are people's emotions usually not weird?"
I… don't know. I guess not. There's just something I can't put my finger on. Something that's… missing?
"Oh shit, are you the girl from that video?"
Huh? Some stranger breaks me out of my thoughts, and I turn around to see the guy behind me in line talking to Anath.
"V-video? Oh. The interview," Anath says. "You… saw that?"
"Uh, yep," he says. "Is your tail real?"
"Yeah," Anath confirms, turning to me. "Did… did you see it?"
I sigh.
"…Yes, Anath, I saw it," I grumble.
"Oh," she says. "Aaah."
I ignore her and turn back to Jim. What were we talking about…? Right, Luna. Something weird about Luna. She's…
"Hey, Eliza, what do you want to order?" Jim asks. "You too, Anath."
"I'll have whatever," I say. "Just a default burger I guess."
"U-um, something with bacon!" Anath chirps. God it is so weird being this close to her. My whole body is screaming to punch her face in.
"I still don't get why we're doing this, Jim," I press. "I came here because I was having a bad day. This? This is making it way worse."
I motion at Anath, ignoring the burst of sadness and misery that radiates off of her as we sit down at a table.
"Hey, I thought I raised you better than that," Jim smirks, kicking me lightly under the table. "Us Campbells don't turn down people in need, right?"
"You need a sense of self-preservation," I complain. "She's nearly killed us both!"
"Sorry," Anath says. "Sorry."
"Hey, I don't want to hear you telling me I need a sense of self-preservation, miss 'I didn't open the front door when I had gunshot wounds because I didn't want to wake you up.'"
"Wh—that's not fair, I was delirious!"
"Oh, I think it's plenty fair. Look, if she attacks us then you've earned a hundred I-told-you-sos. But you know me, Eliza. If a half-dead squirrel shows up on our doorstep, of course I'm going to help it out."
"Ugh," I complain. "Most squirrels aren't spiky, human-sized mages, though. And if an actual squirrel had tried to kill you I'd still complain about you feeding it!"
"I-I never tried to kill anyone!" Anath insists. "I've never killed someone on purpose."
Jim and I both turn to her.
"…Meaning you've killed someone not on purpose?" I press.
"Well, yeah," Anath admits. "Same as you, right? You said you saw the interview."
A spark of anger burns bright, my incarnate form aching as I very nearly transform into it.
"You and I are not the same," I growl.
"No, we're not," Anath agrees. "But we're similar enough. Your head split in two. My head flops back and forth."
"I stayed," I hiss at her. "You ran."
"…Yeah," Anath confirms. "Yeah, that's true. Sorry."
"You don't protect anyone anymore," I double down on her. "Instead, you only get people hurt. You only get in the way, fucking around with people who need to be focusing on dealing with monsters! You're the worst of them, you know that? The others sneak around breaking the rules, but at least they don't pick fights for no goddamn reason!"
"I know!" Anath snaps, gripping her shorts hard enough to poke holes through them with her claws. "I know. I'm sorry. I… I have episodes, and… it's not an excuse, I just… I can't think right sometimes! I'm not very smart any of the time, but… I'm not going to cause any problems today, I promise. I just want to say I'm sorry."
I scowl at her, hating that I know her words are genuine.
"Well, your apology is not accepted," I snap. "But I'll stop complaining, I guess, since I know Jim won't budge on this."
"…Thanks Eliza," Jim says.
"Campbells don't turn down people in need," I quote back at him, since he's a complete fucking dork. Although, that reminds me… "Speaking of Campbells, our parents came up in a conversation the other day."
"O-oh?" Jim says, an unexpected burst of fear flying off of him. What the heck?
"…Uh, I was just curious, I guess," I say. "I don't remember much about them. I was too young."
"Too… young?" he says, furrowing his eyebrows. "When you were, what, nine?"
"Um… yeah?" I confirm. "What, do you remember things from when you were that little?"
"Yes?" Jim confirms. "But, uh, honestly, maybe it's good that you don't. We're probably not in the right place to talk about this."
"Why?" I ask. "Was it bad?"
Jim, for whatever reason, gets very, very sad.
"Sorry," I say instinctively.
"It's fine, Eliza," he says. "Suffice to say that, yes, it was bad."
"Oh," I say. "Okay."
"I guess I'll just say our parents were… not healthy people. A lot of things happened, but none of them were your fault."
"…Okay?" I say again. "I mean, I'm not torn up over it or anything. Like I said, I don't remember. You're all I've ever needed, Jim."
"Thanks, Eliza," he smiles. "It means a lot to hear that. Have I mentioned how weird it is that you're not at home?"
"You did, yeah," I say. "Sorry. I'll visit more often. I miss you too, I'm just… busy."
"Yeah, I know you are. It's alright, Eliza."
Someone behind the counter calls out a number, and I guess it's our food because Jim stands up and walks over there without a word, leaving me with Anath. And here I'd almost managed to forget she was around.
"Your brother's really nice," she says softly.
"He is," I nod, "which is all the more reason you should stay away from him."
"Probably," Anath agrees, which is also starting to get on my nerves. Where the hell do you get off acting all contrite? "I'm sorry. I had nowhere else to go."
"I'm sure Uma'tama would feed you if you went back to base," I say flatly.
"…I had nowhere else to go that wouldn't end up with me getting captured," Anath corrects.
"And what exactly makes you think I'm not going to knock your ass out and drag you back when we're done here?" I ask.
"Please don't," Anath says. "Mel and Nana will come after me again. I don't want to cause another fight right now."
Oh. Shit. I guess that's a good point. Nanaya's probably fully healed by now, but I'm not. Not to mention how depressed Castalia got after fighting her former teammate. And Uma'tama did say I'm not supposed to act right now, so… damn it.
"…I guess I won't start anything," I concede. "But if you start anything, I'll be ending it."
Arguably, if she's going to be stuck on Earth either way, it's probably best that she's supervised.
"You're so strong now," Anath says. "I guess I shouldn't say I'm proud, because I don't deserve that. But… I'm happy, I guess. Enough to feel it right now."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask. "What is up with your obsession with me? You try to act like we're friends whenever you attack me, but we're not. Even in your stupid interview you were acting like you knew me. Like we've actually spoken to each other outside of your insane ramblings. You're fucking delusional, you know that?"
"Better than anyone," Anath says with startling seriousness. "But still, I hope you succeed, Fulgy. I hope you protect everyone. I hope you become the strongest in the whole world."
"Why?" I ask. "You realize that if I do get that strong, the first thing I'm going to do is round up all your friends and get the Preservers to lock them up."
"Maybe," Anath says. "But I can't think of anything else that could get you to relax."
I snort.
"God, you sound like Luna."
Anath freezes.
"O-oh?" she squeaks. "Haha! Um!"
"Wait, are you scared of her?" I smirk. "I'm surprised you know her name."
"U-uh… wh… I don't, um…"
"Oh yeah, you definitely recognize the name," I laugh. "You know, the girl who shoved a can of pepper spray down your throat?"
"Oh! Yes! Yes. Yep. Yuh-huh. Yeppers. Yepperooni. She's, um, super scary!" Anath agrees frantically.
"I can't believe you got your ass kicked that hard by a normal human," I smirk.
"Uh, well, um, you should believe it," Anath says. "Because I definitely did get my butt kicked by a normal human!"
"Crazy that she did that, but I guess in retrospect it was kind of funny," I say. "I still don't know what her deal is. I mean, with a name like Luna, I halfway expected her to be an Earth Guardian. That's a Roman goddess, right?"
"I, um, I think Luna is also just a normal name?" Anath says. "Humans can be named Luna."
"It would explain a lot, though," I say. "Her courage, her weird insights about magic, her familiarity with Castalia… I don't know of any other guardians that retired, though."
Not willingly retired, anyway. There are, occasionally, Earth Guardians who are forced to retire for breaking the rules. It's a pretty extreme punishment, so it doesn't happen often, usually just when a Guardian is breaking the same rule over and over with no intention to stop. They have their transformation stones taken as a result, and are dismissed from duty. If Luna is someone like that, then everything falls into place. But what would a forcibly-retired Earth Guardian be doing here? We have an abnormal monster problem, but it's not like she can help… fight them…
Oh gosh.
"Hey… Anath?" I ask.
"Yeah?"
"Who was filming your interview?" I ask. "And who was interviewing you?"
"U-uh. Oh. Um. Er… nobody?" she squeaks in a very familiar manner. Not unlike how she has a few other times today, when a certain someone has been brought up.
"I'm back!" Jim says. "Sorry, they got our order just… completely wrong, I think they gave ours to someone else. Had to wait for them to remake everything. Here you go, everyone!"
"Thanks," I say, taking my burger and standing up. "I've got to go."
"Huh?" my brother blinks.
"I've got to go. Sorry. I'll come by later, I promise," I insist. "Anath, you're staying with me."
"I am?" Anath blinks and I yank her out of her seat, grab her burger, and start stomping out of the restaurant, a dozen eyes all watching us leave.
Someone has some explaining to do. But unlike Anath, Luna is a pretty good liar. We'll need to be sneaky.
We are NOT good at sneaky.
It's fine. We'll figure it out. She won't fool us again. I just need to figure out the pieces of the puzzle.
After all, I have no idea why a human of all people would work with the Corrupted.
Comments
Jacob Harris
uh oh gamers
skye lime
> Facinating," Uma'tama says. "Stay safe, Fulgora, Minerva facinating
Elayda
It’d be a bit of a downer, but I imagine the suicide stats for earth guardians who get their stones taken are depressingly high. There’s been a lot of talk throughout the series about how earth guardians are willing to die for the the sense of rightness that their incarnate form brings them.
okinu
cw: eliza
Keid
Weirdly, I feel like this is the only chapter of any of your works where I couldve used a CW... Though I'm not sure exactly what that would be in this case. Obligation-based negative self talk.
Elayda
We never find out how long it’s been since the Antipathy performed the Execration. It’s entirely possible that this is the equivalent of their colonial past and they think it would be gauche to do it again.
