739 - Greatsword of Artorias (6/8/23)
🕑 Added 2023-06-09 03:12:14 +0000 UTCFelix tells us about his new sword. Then, we take a look at new UFO news, which somehow becomes a discussion of which members of the Nazi high command were the biggest pervs and pussies. Then following that theme, we have some new candidates entering the GOP primaries. Finally, discussing some recent revelations around one of our esteemed podcaster colleagues.
Comments
Hall wingfield
If this is a deliberate strategy by the RNC (it's not), then wouldn't it be easier to just have one guy in the first place?
natfos 💌
i guess so, but i think they're past needing clickbait and i don't rly see it as that, bc clickbait is intentionally misleading. and clickbait doesn't rly work for a podcast format since it takes longer to get to a point. wouldn't they want to do the same thing on patreon to get more subbers to listen too? the $ they bring in provides plenty of creative independence so idk if it's that either. it doesn't rly bother me it just confuses me lol
teacup
YouTube and Spotify require clickbait thumbnails/titles to get more viewership, patreon they have more creative independence since listeners are already subbed
jack flowers
i don't think they're clearly doing that as a strategy, but it's certainly an option for them. i saw osita nwanevu say a few days ago that the large number of candidates means they are not serious, which i think is wrong.
Jacob Teasdale
Seems clearly the RNC is segmenting the electorate with lots of duds in the primary to coalesce at the right moment a-la Biden V Bernie. Or not, idk fight me
William
Nah fuck you - I want to see the car that kills me
Frederick Von Drasek
...as the Cold War was re-heating in '78, Lancaster narrated a 20-hour, internationally syndicated series on the Soviet Union in WW II called _The Unknown War_. This came five years after _The World at War_ kind of broke the media silence in the NATO west regarding the Soviet War, but still, that took something on Lancaster's part. I watched some a long time ago, and now I want to give it another look...
Elliot Matheny
Felix needs a shot clock for his riffs. He’s funny when his jokes don’t take 5 minutes to deliver a mediocre punchline
natfos 💌
i'm sure hundreds have asked this but why do you guys use different episode titles, thumbnails, and descriptions on spotify vs patreon? it is so unnecessarily confusing
egage
heh thought he was the funniest one
Degzo
Piggie needs his slop
TL
Very easy to not defend lazy, shitty jokes, but here you are. I like the show, just don’t like the world’s worst ongoing bit.
AKorgar
And you're paying his bills! Neat!
Donald
Nice
Degzo
Jesus Christ Felix is so fucking annoying.
Need to hear everyone’s thoughts on Paramount+’s “The Family Stallone”.
Tristan Clark
The piggies are clamoring for their slop. It's me. I'm the piggies.
I am become reply guy
You know what time it is folks 🪣
Shane
Very easy to cancel your subscription
Frank
can it be slop time
TL
Love paying $5/month to hear the same fat joke 9 times every episode. That’s comedy, folks.
Hector Jaime
Felix thinks Taylor Swift would love him, and Adam Friedland thinks Scarlett Johansson would like him. Hmmm.
sean
after you shit on cyclists please get to the moron runners who like jogging in the road at dawn against the flow of traffic. those people can get fucked.
Alex
People who drive in NYC have got to be some of the dumbest people in the country.
etienne
he lives in LA and can't drive. like common man. the one place on earth where the weather is good for biking 95% of the time and they ruined it by turning it into a big clogged highway. but yeah let me unload on how cranky mamils are so bad we need concentration camps
etienne
the guys up at Patreon HQ put in another masterclass update where the app sends me a push note about the fact that one of my subs might have posted in the recent past and then when i click on it it loads for 35 seconds then just shows me my normal feed. fully aware we are paypig hogs
dawood
felix gets a pass for lashing out at bikers due to his autism
buttface
Swear to god I will unsub if there's another boomer brain anti cycling episode
Byron's Glowing Filament
It’s tough but not as bad as most people make it out to be. You just need to learn to be ok with not understanding everything on your first (or third in my case) read.
Tim O'Connor
That's right, they're made out of boats. Checkmate libs
Jack Hume
Uh, what do you think space SHIPS are made out of?
Joachim Macdonald
dissapointing car-brain chapo think driving is faster than cycling in nyc (cringe)
Shivvy
boats suck! 🤘🏽space force
kenneth hammond
My main gripe about this show is how cringe and not funny felix can be when he attempts to be crass. the constant griping about fat people too.The way he talks about other peoples body shape/size makes him sound like a fucking pig imo.
At first I thought the cyclist comments were just a little funny, now after reading people in the comments whining about it, I realize it's actually very funny
Poppy Chulo
All of these recommendations have inspired me to get a copy. It seemed so daunting until I read comments like this.
Greasy_Jones
she's the occluded mahdi
philfinn
Stick at Gravitys Rainbow Matt, if anyones qualified to pick up on all the references its you. Ive read it twice an i'm a moron
Michael Landreth
Obviously. And Chris is the angel Gabriel, communicating their messages to mortals. Virgil is Lucifer, the fallen angel.
Sam Tung
Much as Matt does Inebriated Past, I would love an episode where Felix goes through all of the lore of Dark Souls / the themes of FromSoft games
Eugene Koontz
I love paying money to someone to threaten me with death by sword for the sin of riding a bike - I guess that makes me a paypig!
David Andrews
Very funny riffing.
bbbbb
I have seen the Schwarz Gerat
Gay Eel
The cyclist hate is nothing new and I can take it. But Felix saying that if you bike in NYC "you're not going anywhere anyway" is maybe his dumbest take of all time. It's hands down the fastest way to get around in the city. Up to 3 times faster than the train and beats cars unless you luck out with traffic and parking.
Yoseph Needelman
By this logic, Amber is the disappeared and transcended Mary Magdylane?
Dan
Will doesn't riff as much because he is hosting the show, but when he does, it's great. The rest of the time, isn't he the one that does the research and finds topics?
Michael Landreth
Will, Matt and Felix are the father, son, and holy ghost triumvirate for people who stan a podcast so hard it becomes their religion.
Zakir KH
Great episode fellas. Unrelated but was wondering if will was ever gonna do an interview with Alan Moore again. Thanks.
Caroline Molina
I thought I was the only one who didn’t remember when I went to see Taylor in NJ also Chapo talking about Taylor Swift crossover I never expected
Corndog
All-timer ep
Poppy Chulo
No no no, cyclists are fags.
Adam Mohr
My grandpa didn't DIE at Guadalcanal so MEN could pee SITTING DOWN !
Scot Forsythe
And yet somehow every episode without him is hot garbage 🤔
Ben Zaretsky
If there were aliens like trump could keep quiet about it
Nbsp1
Gulf war eras tour did not get the laugh it deserved
infinitesunrise
Will telling cyclists to get a job when that's probably exactly where they're biking to while he's coasting off of Matt and Felix's talent every stream is pretty rich.
Chris T
Says the fat ass who doesn’t bike
Hayden Duncan
Who needs a samurai sword when you have a ULock
james
wait a sword guy is trying to say cyclists are annoying? to be fair though i would love to clothesline someone who's riding on the sidewalk
Nakatomi_Jones
It’s not nostalgic honestly.
Poppy Chulo
There will never be enough dead cyclists to satisfy me or god.
Poppy Chulo
Nostalgia is the mind killer. I will not nostalgia...
Rohmer Simpson
we know :(
Nathan E Simpson
Cyclists deserve every ounce of hate they get
I feel like Felix would really love Gravity's Rainbow. It has some of the funniest bits in any book I've ever read and it's very much his style of humor.
Nakatomi_Jones
Although there’s prolly a lot of things I like at 35 that I wouldn’t like, if I hadn’t first been into it at 12.
Nakatomi_Jones
I mean.. I agree, everyone I’ve met who likes it too, is the worst. But I love it, rewatched the whole series twice since first seeing it at like 12
Nick M
Always love listening to the pod, boys regularly put up a double-double. This one was like putting up a triple-double each, well done fellas
Chris T
Is Red Dwarf worth it? All the kids I remember liking it were the worst, so I skipped out.
Dick Wolf
Perfect episode
ROU Sentient Lichen
Damn, people have feelings about Gravity's Rainbow
ROU Sentient Lichen
Ahahahaha yonic P
Nakatomi_Jones
Every time they make a gay ass reference to something like dune or red dwarf I want to kill myself bc I get it
Zach Pierce
Valor She Stole
Michael
After hearing Matt talk about the Germans trying to build the world's largest tank ever I have now have a new appreciation for Dr. Algernop Krieger as a TV show character.
Yairo Martis
And that's one of the tamer sexual encounters.
Rohmer Simpson
cum and pee
Yairo Martis
100%!
No
It is Gladio-brain the book
No
Support for NATO collapses after US produces remake of Come and See with timothee chalamet
No
Get in the fucking V2 Gottfried
etienne
someone brought up on twitter the first version of the trump/pence 2016 campaign logo where a phallic T was penetrating the yonic loop of the P
江戸 ねビル
Electrical college
Gravity's Rainbow is not impenetrable. Sure, many passages are dense, but if you track back and slow down you soon find yourself nodding along, muttering "oh I get it, the dutch dominatrix is shitting in the octogenarian brigadier's mouth"
SoldierBlue
A funeral home, lol
Mark Schneider
Against the Day is great, late 19th century & early 20th revolutionaries shaking things up with lots of steam punk style weird science, psychic conspiracies, etc. And in Mason & Dixon he made the hypocrite "moralist" William Bennett (A Book of Virtues) wet his pants with rage by just discussing Washington's & Ben Franklin's correspondence on the uses of "Indian Hemp" etc., Bennett wanted the book proscribed by the Historical Index Librum Prohibitorum Society for depicting Franklin smoking weed, drinking ale and singing saucy songs. Given his involvement in Paris' Hellfire Club, if anything the Franklin portrait was tame.
Yairo Martis
Exactly. Just read on and page back if you need to. Someone needs to do a digital e-book of it with hyperlinks at every allusion and reference. To really fry readers' minds.
Yairo Martis
The whole light bulb sideplot, getting dunked head-first in a toilet at a club in the Boston area by Malcolm X, Dutch colonists extincting the dodo, German proto-genocide in Africa, and of course becoming your own penis.
Yairo Martis
It fucking rocks, dude. It's also full of sexual perversions.
Yairo Martis
Matt would either die or ascend Childhood's End-style if he read Gravity's Rainbow. There's so many allusions and references to history that his mind will achieve criticality.
Axel Herrera
Sure. I just tend not to care much for this particular postmodern literary style and I find engaging with it more frustrating than rewarding. As I said, I will probably still attempt to read it. I thought The Crying of Lot 49 was alright.
Travis Albert
Bunch of old dads sitting around complaining about cyclists on their radio show.
Byron's Glowing Filament
Just because it’s long and complex doesn’t means it’s “about everything.” It’s about very specific things. It just delves into every aspect of them. A book you need to read if you care about half the shit Chapo or other leftist podcasts love to discuss (and I’m hoping Chapo is joking about their take on it lol).
etienne
they're good books. like you're allowed to read them an enjoy without having to write a english lit term paper about them if you want
Axel Herrera
Gravity’s Rainbow just sounds awful. That kind of intolerable, manic “maximalist” literature that’s “about everything”, like Infinite Jest. I’m probably still gonna read it though.
Ian Fletcher
Klacik 2024!
Byron's Glowing Filament
Even GR isn’t unreadable as long as you’re not the kind of person who needs to understand every single thing going on. Best book ever written imo.
Jonathan G
can't find anything about the hunter 21 savage song. Made up?
SeymoreButts
A lot of his books are way more accessible than GR too! Crying of Lot 49 is a super easy read that anyone can enjoy. His books aren't an IQ test lol
nack
Classic Man sounds like a song by Charles from e1.
Richard Perez
I would say the amount of cunts on bikes is about proportional to the percentage of lunatics behind the wheels of cars, only getting hit by a cyclist probably won’t kill you.
Scott
Pynchon is my favorite author and you are all wrong.
Rohmer Simpson
Yeah the nav apps are weird that way. Dunno if the following will make sense but here goes: one time when I was delivering in southern Queens/Brooklyn (basically where one goes to be executed by a minor Boardwalk Empire button man), I was directed - via the bicycle directions tab - to take an entrance ramp onto the Belt Parkway i.e. suicide. Quickly learned to simply decline orders based on geography.
etienne
I did 3 months of uber eats near the end of the pandemic out of sheer boredom and it was kinda fun but the thing kept sending me to West Island suburbs and across highways. I wouldn't mind getting back at it on a purely like for fun and exercise basis but I found a life since
Rohmer Simpson
Addendum: feel I should make it clear that I am not in the least an athletic individual and ought not to have been a challenge to apprehend. But I saw them doing a grid pattern search or whatever and I fuckin ditched them cunts.
Rohmer Simpson
I was a bicycle delivery guy for the last several years I lived in NYC. Every shift was 90% normal and chill, but for the other 10%, let's just say, I was very much not a good person. I did have one moment of pure triumph and that was when I slowly rolled out through a red light at a sleepy intersection in the Queens wilderness, a black & white lit up and pursued me, but I lost them by going the wrong way down a crosshatch of 1-way streets. Then I locked my bike against a lamppost, walked home, came and got it the next day. Very satisfying farewell to New York City's largest organized crime syndicate, the NY Pricks & Dicks.
etienne
I'm the world's biggest annoying vehicular urban cyclist and sometimes I too want to purposely crash into other annoying cyclists to teach them a lesson. Nothing more envigorating than doing a almost legal Stop at a corner to let a family mom through and getting buzzed at 25kph by 10 e-bikers
Rohmer Simpson
"Nukes are the most annoying and universally disliked group in the navy." Respectfully, wrong. I was an IS; us and the Cryptos are/were the absolute bottom of the barrel.
Chris T
It’s true; I broke my arm a month ago getting doored in Brooklyn
Major bit me
My grandfather was in the original chapo trap house
buttface
When Matt said "Burgum, Burgoo - delicious squirrel stew" I really felt that.
nathaniel newland
I was in the navy. Nukes are the most annoying and universally disliked group in the navy. They whine constantly and act like they are better than everybody cause they scored a few points higher than average in the kindergarten ass entry test. The nuke disrespect is appreciated and endorsed. Thank you for your service.
Dante Scaglione
Pizza ranch dessert pizza let’s go
carl
when I bike in PHL I legit look at it like Paper Boy. I don't throw things anymore tho.
C. Andrew
DoD guy and a Lockheed PR guy walk up to a podium holding hands: "Yeah, aliens exist. We killed them; shot 'em down when they told us we aren't ready for nukes. Now we're using their tech to keep you safe and defeat the Chinese menace. That will be all."
Valerie
Yes, that way I can finally understand what the hell Kingdom Hearts was about.
Doug Cartel
On the one hand, Russia's disruption of the Ukrainian Civil War last year caused blowback in the form of a bunch of apathetic people becoming Nazis, but on the other hand, how many people will be signing up to be a Nazi after they lose to Russia for the 2nd time? But yeah, Dirlewangers are basically the Groyper Battalion.
Nick
Felix should do a podcast where he just explains the plots of video games
Scot Forsythe
Ok haha yes Ukraine has a complicated past with Nazis, anti semitism and Austro- Hungarian death’s heads, but in Mongolia, where I live, beween Russia and China, if I freaked out evrrytime I saw a swatstika …well that would be pretty stupid…
sir peepus
I’m a bathroom man. you can be me if you poop and pee I’m a bathroom man
“Gravity’s Rainbow, it’s magically obscure!” -MST3K The Indestructible Man
Andrew
I hope Felix gets hit by a car ❤️🙏
Ernest Ambrus
Quality slop back, class action suit averted
Owen
lol, the man definitely rolls cleric
Andy Palmer
Another insane thing about the “Nazi efficiency” myth is that their wartime economy was largely built around enslaving people and working them to death
Agent Grange
One of those perfect 9/10 episodes
More Human than Human
True shotels too cool for him. His communications lady whose always on twitter is that guy outside Nito with the massive church mace.
Owen
Perfect timing, just beat the artorias dlc and now I’m drowning against the pursuer in ds2
More Human than Human
Dark Souls 1 is my all time favorite gaming experience. Playing first time blind and with no FROM experience may never be topped for me.
Owen
Seems like more of a Lloyd’s Talisman kind of man.
Greg
Of course Mike pence frames the most basic ass bitch Bible verse
Michael S. Judge
JIDENNA
More Human than Human
Ron DeSantis wields dual shotels. Or a mace. He’s one of those faith user characters whose the most evil guy in the game
Luis Lopez
I was just done going through my own Autistic dark souls related side quest (DS2 Santier spear in my case.)
Spenny
Not to be a pedant, but 650,000 people live in Portland. I was one of them, wearing a gas mask to get to work.
skrrt vonnegut
Classicman was a really short lived image comic where the protagonist used combat swing-dancing to defeat his enemies
Samuel Z Goldberg
King Arthur's DIE required reading is "Knight Fragility."
J. A.
I told artoreuis not to hang out on discord
A Witherspoon
*snort snort smile* piggie no like movie slop.
T S
Swordswordswrordsword
Basil
RIP IRON SHEIK
saintbeau
baby radagon just rizzed up queen marika. is he the new elden lord? or is marika just using him for clout?
Corey Reynolds
The only video game talk I want to hear about is Tears of the Kingdom. But that’s just me.
Richard Cardenas
Virgil is dating Taylor swift????
Caz VanDevere
What’s the news???!!
J. A.
Hell yeah dude
NYCM&AHole
Felix placed a Sworder on Etsy