Daniel Greene
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Proof Of Concept - Goblin Defense Attorney
🕑 Added 2023-10-09 15:06:27 +0000 UTCHello everyone! I want to keep the additional content for Patrons flowing and I figured, what better way than to provide a ROUGH, potentially embarrassing, early drafts of writing. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am currently developing a story about a goblin defense attorney who, for his last case, must defend a Dark Lord (coded to be very modern Al Capone).
PLEASE remember this is a first unedited draft. There will be errors abound - both grammatical and developmental - and the prose will be reworked during the second and third drafts. This is mainly a way to get the idea of the story down on a page, and this writing sample is only to showcase what exactly I am trying to accomplish blah blah blah, you get it! Just expect super blunt dialogue and direct communication of ideas. We're all familiar with the word vomit struggle.
Finally, I have had people ask if this means my other series will be delayed. To that I say, I am 28 years old and good things come in time. I am early in my writing career and want to play around a bit. I think stretching into new stories with different angles to them will help me improve overall, and help inspire me for where I want to take my other two series. A little distance from them does really help the creativity flow. For example, this new one is written in first person. Something I haven't tackled before. This is also the last "new" series I want to write for now. The Lawful Times, Neon Ghosts, and a stand alone Goblin Defense Attorney book (working title, duh) are all that occupy my mind. Juggling YouTube on top of that does slow me down a bit, but I believe I have found a balance that will allow things to all progress as needed.
ENOUGH RAMBLING CRAP!! Here is a first attempt at a chapter one.
Let me know the points that grab your attention the most and which ones you want to see expanded upon. It really helps to know what interests a reader most about the concept, since I'm too close to the world to be objective.
Setting: High Fantasy Early 2000s New York City.
Goblin Defense Attorney
“It’s just not the most professional look.” Luna mumbled from between the gaps in her arms. Her cheek pressed against a remarkably sticky table. “We have an image to maintain, ya know?”
I licked the foam from my beer off my lips, hoping Luna hadn’t crossed the line of no return. I’d seen the contents of the woman’s stomach more than a few times in her career with the firm. “You’re worried about the press?”
"No-well, maybe. We've been landing a lot of high profile cases lately. And you’re the Goblin that just got a whole fae clan off with probation for fraud." She squinted at something over my shoulder. "Will, is her glass still empty?"
I glanced at Jona across the room, the primary reason the entire law firm was here to celebrate, surrounded by a circle of our friends and colleagues. I loved these nights with the firm. We worked ourselves to the bone for clients who were, often, not entirely grateful. Yet, for each other, trust mixed with a thorough amount of respect as well as a shared understanding of experience resulted in special occasions like tonight, where belly laughter continuously echoed off the walls.
“Can you believe it?”
“Disgraceful.” Luna said, lifting her head just enough to check her watch. “They have twenty-six seconds until it’s been a full fifteen minutes.”
I scratched at one of my ears. I needed to trim my nails again, but damn if some points didn’t have their advantage. At my age, it was the simple enjoyable sensations I had come to enjoy. “A judge could walk in here tonight, and all he’d see are a few faces he recognizes having a good night out. We’ll make sure everyone gets home safe.”
“I can see the headline.” Luna turned her head to the side, meeting Will’s eyes. “Hero-Goblin Super-Attorney, along with young lawyers, seen drunk in some den of a bar.”
“Den? The Broken Shield?”
“Yeah.” Luna emphasized by peeling her hand off the table, noting the distinctly wet and sticky sound. “Den.”
My response was automatic. “I’ll have you know–”
“The firm’s founding partners drank here. Only place in the whole city that serves traditional halfling brew.” Luna breathed deep again. “Amazing, I know. But, did you know the place across the street serves sushi?”
“Lords,” I cursed, “you’re the only person I’ve ever met who eats when they’re nauseous.”
“I believe in smothering fires.”
I took a glass of water from a passing server and placed it next to Luna’s head. “Finish that and I’ll go get you some sushi.”
“Time.” Luna said.
“Objection!” I raised my pint well above my head, drawing the attention of my peers. I hadn’t had to raise my voice much for everyone in attendance to stop what they were doing - a perk of being in the papers more than usual, recently. The room went silent, with only the sound of the Cranberries’ ‘Zombie’ playing a fuzzy broadcast from the radio behind the bar. With a grin, I slowly lowered my pint and pointed a red finger directly at our newest hire, whose blood-shot eyes blinked blearily back. It took her a few moments to focus, genuine worry battling for sobriety against the booze. “Jona Kalish, you passed the bar a mere six hours ago… and you stand before us, esteemed attorneys all, on the brink of becoming, well, dare I say legally drunk…”
Jona’s expression shifted to a rueful grin, knowing full-well where I was going with this.
“...and not one of your fellow attorney scum has bothered to put a drink in your hand for the last fifteen minutes! Luna, when did Khalil bring Jona that now empty martini glass?”
Paralegal extraordinaire Luna Sanders picked her head up from the table before belting out, “Fifteen minutes and nineteen seconds ago!”
“Khalil!”
Khalil, a six-foot tall tank of human muscle, stood from his stool; looming over Will even from across the bar. He brought a hand up in salute. “Yes, sir?”
“You may be an attorney by day, damnit, but tonight, your only job is to get Jona drunk! Fetch her whatever she wants immediately!”
“Yes, sir!”
Jonas let out a call of joy that the rest of the bar quickly echoed.
I sat back with Luna, watching for any signs of upheaval while she sipped her water leaning the glass without even lifting her head from the table. “Tom is coming over.”
“Close enough to hear?” She asked.
“Not yet.”
“Oh, joy.”
I smirked in agreement. Tom used to grab just as many headlines as myself. Used to. In recent years, Tom and a few other members of the firm had changed, well, allegiance. Putting it simply, trust and respect may be as universal as I made it out to be.
I managed one last pull of my halfling brew before Tom arrived, lowering it only when his thighs brushed against the table. “Evening, Tom.”
“Morning’s more accurate,” Tom said, stroking his thick white mustache with a slur before gesturing to Jona. “How long do you think she’ll last?”
“Jona’s going to be a great lawyer, Tom.” I answered.
Tom took that exactly as he wanted. “Ha, yeah. Wonder where. Elves never want to spend too long defending scum. Just long enough to look good on a res–”
“Hi Tom,” Luna said, picking up her very half elf head. “How’s the aging?”
“Keeps me motivated.” Tom said, shifting his gaze back to me. He had to look down far enough into their booth to form a second chin under his hanging mustache. “Are you staying much longer?”
I shook my head, trying to avoid confrontation. “No, I lost my desire to watch the sun rise from anywhere but bed decades ago.”
Tom nodded. “How about this, I’ll close both our tabs tonight. In exchange you let me walk you home. I want to crack open that red head of yours for all the juicy details.”
Smiling the best I could, I managed, “The firm is getting the tab tonight.”
“Perfect.” Tom returned a painful smile “I want to hear more about the Myrdik case, if you’re not tired of talking about it yet. ‘Course not. The news cycle certainly hasn't. Let me grab your coat.”
I let my smile turn to a scowl mirrored by Luna’s own as we watched Tom walk toward the front. “The man takes a drink then the drink takes the man. He used to have so much potential.”
“Hard to believe.” Luna rested her head back down. “He’s decent in court, but ruins morale around here. Don’t retire before him. We’d hate you for leaving us with him.”
“You can’t keep giving him lip. He still has pull around here.” I rubbed my temple with one hand, wishing, right now at least, I had retired years ago knowing in the morning, I’d feel different. “Tom just wants to pilfer from my case what he can.”
“Why?”
“We’re a competitive lot, lawyers, and–”
“Hey!” Khalil called loud enough to make half the bar start. “Turn that up!”
The barkeep, a tall pretty elf woman named Elle, followed Khalil’s gaze to the TV before blinking in amazement. She quickly grabbed a remote from behind the counter and cranked the volume. On the screen a newsline read, “Raid On Shadowwalker Estate” over footage taken from a helicopter. What looked to be a dozen paladins in white tactical gear maintained a perimeter in front of the gate of the Shadowwalker Palace, each wielding a massive white warhammer. Already three men lay on the pavement before the black metal gate before a line of undercover vehicles, white and gold lights now on.
The anchor's voice began filling the silent bar. “–now learning the arrest may be in connection to the disappearance of Marolyn May Jr. The heiress to the May fortune who disappeared two years ago.”
“No fucking way.” Luna exclaimed with a jolt as a fourth man was brought from the palace, three Paladin’s mostly carried the struggling shirtless man from the building while a fourth kept a large rifle trained at the base of his skull. A collar glowed a vicious red around the Dark Lord’s neck, the tell-tale sign of a barrier severing any connection to magic. Their captive was thrown to the pavement with the others before a paladin placed a rough boot on his back.
“We have just had it confirmed that a spell and two shots were reported at the start of the raid, but no casualties have been reported.” The camera cut back to a tall female half orc in a business casual suit with the chopper footage still playing over her shoulder. A beat passed before the coverage continued. “This marks the first time in over a century the United States government has exerted its authority over a member of the ancient families.”
“Three centuries.” I found my mouth hanging open. “Not long enough for some to forget.”
“What?” Luna asked, turning partially to me.
Jona let out a cry of pained relief, hands coming up to her mouth. I remembered hearing the young elf’s story. Her family had been obliterated as collateral damage in a massacre orchestrated by the Shadowwalker family… allegedly. The woman began to cry as a friend of hers who didn’t work for the firm clutched her in a tight hug.
The silence of the bar stiffened.
“It has been over three centuries.” I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. “Three centuries since anyone dared to make a move on any of the families. The massacre in Manhattan.”
Luna’s eyes widened at the reminder.
Flipping open my phone, I squinted to see without glasses. It was the senior partner of the firm, Jake Lorimonto.
Pressing the accept button, I brought the phone to my ear.
Jake’s voice came over the line firm yet heavy with age. “I hope you weren’t asleep.”
“Still out with the team.” I answered. “We just turned on the news.”
“That’s good.” There was a long pause before Jake continued. Long enough for a twist to churn in my stomach. Something was off. “Will, there is something I’m going to have to tell you.”
I remained silent, an unconscious part of my brain already making the obvious connection.
“We have clients who prefer to remain anonymous, even within the firm. If you’re watching the same broadcast as me, you’ll understand why I need to see you first thing in the morning.” Jake seemed resigned to the confrontation he knew was coming between us. “Or, today I should say. As soon as you’re able to come into the office.”
“It’s Saturday.” I said weakly.
Luna’s attention shifted between the TV and myself, clearly wondering what could be important enough to pull me away from watching history happening. “What is going on?” She mouthed.
“This will be a working weekend. Will, you’re the best we got for this. Don’t deny it. With all the good press, you’ll be able to come into this like no one else can. We’re going to need someone who can look a jury in the eye.”
It was an expression Jake and I had used since we were in grad school together nearly a century ago.
“I need you to say it flat out, Jake.” I closed my eyes. “Who do you want me to represent?.”
A few curious eyes in the silent bar began to note my conversation as well.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” was all Jake said before the line went dead.
Slowly, I lowered the phone from my ear, flipping it shut with a soft thunk.
“What was that about?” Luna asked. “Will, hey! What’s up? You okay?”
I turned my head to meet my friend’s eyes. “Yes, it was Jake.”
“What did he want?”
I blinked before answering, “He wants me to represent Bobby Shadowwalker.”
A heartbeat passed before Luna twisted violently away, spilling her guts in a noisy slop onto the floor of The Broken Shield.
Comments
Bill C
Daniel, have you set up a post office box in Boston as you had previously in Virginia? Safe way for followers to send cards, the dreaded "OMG another book you absolutely must read" and assorted paraphernalia! Best, Bill C
Daniel Lauber
This would help with the having your reader really want to turn the page to get to the next chapter if you see how the opposing team will handle what was thrown at them.
Daniel Lauber
Is the book going to be only first person of the main character? You could have a seen where in the courtroom, the point of view changes from one establish character to another to get different perspectives on the same type of argument. Also, one of the points of views could be someone on the opposing team. It could be too master lawyers, basically playing a high steaks game of chess. Just some ideas I had . You got me already theorizing about what the book could become ! I’m really excited to see what you come up with.
