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Chapter 43: The Three Patron Saints of Bikini Bottom
🕑 Added 2025-08-27 04:32:50 +0000 UTCIn the distance, gods were battling with earth-shattering force; nearby lay ruins and rubble, with wails echoing everywhere.
This former "divine sanctuary" had now become the ultimate hunting ground, and Kyle was the top-tier hunter returning to his old trade.
"Now this feels right," Kyle moved through the scorched forests and shattered buildings, a nostalgic smile playing at his lips. "Can't let those jungle survival skills from three years on that deserted island get rusty."
Hey, hey, hey, the jungle king was back online!
His primary targets were naturally those Celestial pigs who usually lorded over everyone, treating human lives like grass. As for treasure, he'd just pick up whatever he found along the way—where was the fun in that compared to hunting world nobles?
Hunting was pure bliss!
To avoid excessive "attention" from the World Government later, Kyle even added some Cosplay elements to his act.
In a relatively intact manor, several CP agents in black suits were frantically escorting a pot-bellied Celestial Dragon who still had half a roasted chicken leg hanging from his mouth.
"Hurry! Protect me! You worthless scum!" the Celestial Dragon shrieked, his spittle spraying against the bubble helmet in front of his face.
Suddenly, a bizarre figure blocked their path.
It was a yellow, square, porous creature wearing a white shirt and brown square pants, with two big buck teeth sticking out and an innocent-yet-eerie smile on its face.
"Ahahaha, hello there! Want to try a delicious Krabby Patty?"
"SpongeBob" greeted them in a voice so shrill it was ear-piercing.
The CP agents were instantly baffled. What the hell was this thing? Some kind of unknown exotic beast? Or some pirate crew's mascot?
"Stop it!" The lead agent was first to react, drawing his blade.
However, before they could charge, "SpongeBob" simply puffed up his cheeks and gently blew out several colorful bubbles.
The bubbles looked light and airy, but approached at a speed almost impossible for the eye to track. One agent instinctively swung his sword to cut them, and the moment blade met bubble—
BOOM!
An invisible shockwave exploded outward. The agent didn't even have time to scream before his entire body was launched backwards like he'd been hit head-on by a battering ram, crashing through three walls before finally stopping, completely unconscious.
The remaining agents were horrified, but Kyle's attacks kept coming. While letting out a demonic "ha ha ha" laugh, he playfully blew more "bubbles."
He turned compressed air cannons into an art form, each shot precisely hitting an agent's joints or torso, instantly disabling them while leaving them just enough breath to experience despair.
Having cleared the field, Kyle, in his "SpongeBob" disguise, approached the Celestial Dragon step by step—the man was now collapsed on the ground, scared out of his wits and streaming with tears and snot.
"This one's clearly not too bright. Kill him."
Kyle silently passed judgment, pointing his finger and letting invisible waves scramble the man's walnut-sized brain.
After looting the manor's valuables, Kyle hummed a little tune and continued his hunting expedition.
Soon, he locked onto another group of targets. This time, he switched to a new skin.
A massive pink starfish wearing green patterned swim trunks, drooling with vacant eyes—it was "Patrick Star."
"This one's clearly brutal. Kill her."
Facing a female Celestial Dragon who was amusing herself by whipping slaves, Kyle's heart remained utterly unmoved.
He controlled "Patrick" to waddle forward with dopey steps, and under the wary gazes of the CP agents, raised his hand and pointed at the sky.
"Look, it's a starfish!"
The agents instinctively looked up but saw nothing.
The moment they lowered their heads, a searing beam erupted from "Patrick's" belly button!
Heat Wave Searing Breath!
The focused infrared wave instantly pierced through several agents' bodies, its momentum undiminished as it melted through both the female Celestial Dragon and the artificial mountain behind her, leaving only a hole with glowing red edges.
Kyle nodded with satisfaction at his handiwork. This kind of precision elimination felt much more satisfying than just crushing everything with Haki.
Fun and games aside, when he encountered truly tough opponents, his attitude became completely different.
In a plaza that had been leveled flat, a bubble-helmeted Celestial Dragon was being protected by several powerful fighters.
The God's Knights.
Kyle's expression grew somewhat serious. Each of these people possessed formidable strength, their presence as steady as mountains—far beyond what any CP agent could match.
"Looks like I need to change my style."
He silently crept into the shadows, light waves distorting as a thin, elongated figure with a huge head and long nose slowly materialized.
Squidward, reporting for duty!
He didn't rush to attack, instead carefully observing the God's Knights' defensive formation. Flawless, both offensive and defensive capabilities integrated.
"This one looks... hmm, a bit tricky."
Kyle decided to try an assassination. He quietly gripped his naginata, pointing the tip at what seemed to be the weakest knight in the defensive circle.
Silent Cloud Pierce!
No sound of cutting air, no energy fluctuations, even his killing intent was perfectly restrained.
The naginata's tip struck like a viper's fang, soundlessly stabbing toward the knight's heart from behind.
Squelch!
The blade tip successfully penetrated, and Kyle's heart leaped with joy.
However, the very next second, his expression changed. The sensation from the blade tip was wrong—it didn't feel like piercing flesh and blood, more like stabbing into a mass of tough rubber.
The stabbed knight suddenly whipped around, frowning, his form retreating explosively while his wound healed at a visually perceptible rate.
"Found you, voyeur." The God's Knight member's voice held no emotion.
"Tch, so this is the so-called immortal body? Disgusting as hell."
Kyle made a split-second decision, vibrating the blade to send out several sword waves, using the recoil to withdraw his weapon and retreat while activating Light Mirage at full power. Dozens of "Squidward" illusions scattered and fled while his real body had already melted into another patch of shadows.
The God's Knights truly lived up to their reputation—a direct confrontation wouldn't end well.
Kyle abandoned this target and continued searching for the next "lucky winner."
Passing through a chaotic residential area, he discovered another protected Celestial Dragon family. A man, a woman, and two young children.
Kyle habitually narrowed his eyes, preparing to begin his judgment process.
"This one clearly looks like... wait, what the hell?!"
His gaze fell on the adult male Celestial Dragon, and the words "kill him" that were about to escape his throat got stuck there.
This man didn't have the arrogance and brutality of other Celestial Dragons—his face was full of terror and worry.
He wasn't hiding behind his guards but instead spread his arms wide, using his not-particularly-strong body to desperately shield his wife and two children behind him. One of the kids, a blonde brat, was still glaring defiantly at the chaos outside.
Kyle was all too familiar with that man's face.
Donquixote Homing Saint.
The absolutely unique oddball among the Celestial Dragons—that "good man" who voluntarily gave up his divine status and brought his family down to earth.
The naginata Kyle had raised suddenly felt heavy in this moment.
He killed Celestial Dragons because they were scum, cancerous tumors on the world.
But the one before him was a respectable father, a naive and foolish man who nonetheless possessed a conscience.
Damn it all!
Everyone had the right to choose their own path, whether good or evil. Homing Saint's ending was tragic, Doflamingo's future was sinful, but those were all their own choices.
He could punish evil, but had no right to judge a future that hadn't yet come to pass.
