HikerAngel
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Using Senses
🕑 Added 2021-04-13 03:22:10 +0000 UTCOne thing that can really bring a scene to life is engaging as many of the five senses as you can. I first really learned to do it for poetry. This one's not one of my best poems (it lost the contest I wrote it for), but you'll probably notice the use of sound. It helped with the hip hop vibe I was going for (as did the decision not to punctuate):
https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2216978-Bandit-Art
But poorly written villanelles aside, senses can really add color to a scene. Ask yourself what your character sees. What does she feel with her fingers. What does she smell? Hear? Taste?
For example, if your character enters a room for the first time, and you want to really make an impression with the new environment, you might expand something like this (which uses the sense of sight)...
Jessica strolled into the dark, dusty room and looked around.
...with smell...
Jessica strolled into the dark, dusty room and looked around, wrinkling her nose as she breathed in its century-old mustiness.
...and sound...
Jessica strolled into the dark, dusty room, wrinkling her nose as she breathed in its century-old mustiness. She stepped around the room, aged floorboards creaking beneath her.
...and touch...
Jessica strolled into the dark room, wrinkling her nose as she breathed in its century-old mustiness. She stepped around the room, aged floorboards creaking beneath her. She ran her fingertips over the dust-laden furniture, small clouds of fine, white powder billowing upward to tickle her nostrils.
...and taste...
Jessica strolled into the dark room, wrinkling her nose as she breathed in its century-old mustiness. She stepped around the room, aged floorboards creaking beneath her. She ran her fingertips over the dust-laden furniture, small clouds of fine, white powder billowing upward to tickle her nostrils. She sneezed, unwittingly sucking in a lungful, its feathery dryness coating her tongue like acrid cotton.
Really makes that dark dusty room come to life a bit, eh? I know I'm not the world's greatest writers, but I've read enough with a carefully examining eye to have picked up on some (though certainly not all--or even most) of the things that good writers do.
That said, you don't always want to do it. If you do, your story will move at a snail's pace. But when you want to accentuate the scene's importance and really make it stand out in your reader's mind, it can be an effective technique. I use it a lot during sexy scenes that I really want to hit home.
John reached out to cup Jessica's face, his rough fingertips gliding over her flawless skin. (touch!) He leaned in, pressing his full lips to his, marveling in their softness (touch!) as he breathed in the lushly feminine scent of her bouncing curls (smell!). He slithered his tongue into her mouth, running it along the inside of her teeth until her nimble tongue rolled over his. (touch!) As he tasted the mint of her toothpaste (taste!), he smiled, hearing the corners of his mouth crack lightly with amusement (sound).
Jessica's eyes opened a sliver as she sensed the shift in his expression (touch!). "What is it, John?"
"Nothing."
Then, he laughed, breaking their kiss.
"What?!"
"It's just..." he said, attempting to suppress the rising tide of mirth long enough to speak. "I never knew... you used... Crest for Kids!"
Then he wailed in laughter, slapping his knee, completely destroying the moment.
Jessica rolled onto her back and cursed herself for marrying the man.
Sorry, I got carried away just writing a random scene. I do that sometimes. :) Anyway, I hope that you guys find the senses thing interesting. I'll try to post some writing stuff that I've learned from time to time. If any of you, like Hawk, are aspiring writers, some of this stuff might be helpful...
Comments
HikerAngel
Thanks, Koopa!
HikerAngel
Glad it’s helpful... :)
Koopz
Great insight ! Thanks for sharing
Hawk9600
This is great, thanks!
