exurb1r
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Black boxes and such
🕑 Added 2023-04-18 18:04:38 +0000 UTCHello Yorkshire Terriers,
How are you? Full disclaimer, not notifying you you're being charged this month or anything of the sort, just thought I'd check in.
It's currently spring-winter here in Bulgaria. We've all been waiting to emerge from December, and December never quite got the message to remember to fuck off. I'm currently staying at a friend's place looking after her dog, and frankly the joke is on her because she left her alcohol cabinet open and with a number of nice things in it. Gives a certain fun sheen to the rain. Still, there's a very easy way to identify Brits in Sofia when there's bad weather out, and that's all of them walking around with umbrellas at their side and nervously surveying the heavens. (All British people grow up with rain trauma.) I'd prefer not to think into if this weird weather is an anomaly or part of a larger climate trend.
So, for whatever reason, some of you have kindly signed up to my stuff on Patreon recently in rather unexpected numbers (thank you in buckets), and while I commend your lack of taste, I thought I'd use the opportunity to go on a rant about why some of us put stuff out on a regular schedule, and why some of us don't. I imagine it must be a bit opaque on the other side of the stage. Myself, I can see creators making stuff, I can see they've put enormous effort into whatever it is, but I have fuck all idea how much time it took, and how much of a team they have behind them. Sometimes I receive emails addressed to 'the exurb1a team' and while I'm very touched, I usually just look to my left hand where the coffee or beer is, and the right where the cat is patiently waiting for head-pats, and congratulate both on what a persistent workers co-op they've both have been.
What I can say for certain is that all of us in the video racket are battling the algorithm. (Who in history saw that creative pressure coming?) The YouTube algorithm (all social media algorithms, really) long ago became a black box to the the users, and even to the engineers who designed them. The game has now grown so complicated no one person can explain why certain videos or posts do well, and some don't. I mean, there probably isn't a human in the world who could build a pencil from scratch to end, but you know what I'm getting at. The art marketing game isn't just out of our hands, it's largely out of the hands of those who might like to have a hand in it. Very strange times. (Have you played with GPT4? The future has arrived so must faster than we were expecting, and it gives simply the best lasagna recipes.)
Most of us making stuff are often very scared is what I'm getting at, since this is our livelihoods, since this is where our passion goes; one never knows whether to spend 6 months trying to refine whatever that weird idea on the train was, or knock out some cheap jokes in a week. When I said I thought I might 'check in' above, what I probably should've written was 'to thank you for combating the fickleness of the algorithm.' The relief of knowing I can disappear for a few months and try and get something as right as it was in a daydream, and even if YouTube punishes me for that, I can still pay rent; words won't allow me to tell you how grateful I am to you for that. Just thank you ever, ever, ever so much. It's a support I never imagined, and a support I still can't comprehend, but thank you.
I can self-gossip a bit and tell you the spaceship comedy thing I've been working on for over a year now is almost finished, and I can't wait to share it with you when it's done. A new book seems to keep saying hi from strange daydream corners and I'll start work on that soon. Every project is a gamble taking sometimes months, and one never quite knows how it's going to work out. Sort of like roulette, but all your chips are your ego, and you bet on black and red simultaneously. Enormous love, enormous thanks, and enormous penguins for sticking around. And when I say enormous penguins I mean absurdly enormous, like 20 or 30 feet high, with lasers for eyes and fire for wings, proto-phoenixes laying waste to any city that might anger them, and feeling no compunction about their wanton destruction. Bad penguins, you know?
I'll make some recommendations as always. I recently read The Girl With All the Gifts, which for whatever reason I assumed was zombie horseshit – are there really that many new directions to go with zombie apocalypse stories? Yeah. Yeah it turns out there are. It's written with such grace and care even the villains' motives are understandable, and isn't that the mark of a good villain, really?
And in case I haven't ranted about it before, Disco Elysium blew my socks off completely a few months ago. I'd played it timidly years before, noticed it was clearly a mindblower, but actually finishing the thing...? Zero doubt in my mind when video games are finally inducted into the same art-space as literature and film that it will have its place on the altar beside them. If you haven't played it yet, I must say that you're doing yourself a disservice. It is probably some of the best literature the 21st century has come up with yet. Promise.
I'll throw a wildcard in here and recommend Dresden Dolls too. They were a huge part of my musical education when I was a teen, and listening to them again now twenty years later, they're still fucking great. I can't really hear whether they've aged because I suppose I've aged with them, but this is a great place to start if you'd like to. Also, a friend sent me this a few weeks ago. Ignore the title, I've listened to it at least 10 times since I first heard it, and I refuse to believe it applies to just men; young women seem as destined to get a kick out of it. Your mileage may vary, but I can certainly say as someone with a few grey hairs now, it struck a number of chords.
Again, was just checking in, hope you're doing well, and I promise stuff is in the works, but these days I'm more afraid of putting stuff out half-finished than I am of letting a deadline go by. If I could summarise the last 7 years of doing stuff online, really, it would be to say: compromising on daydreams is a little death that builds into an infinite one. I have finally learned not to do it, and I hope you'll come with me for the thing. What a massive privilege it is to say that, and what a strange thing it feels to admit.
Ever so much love, and thank you enormously for sticking around; new stuff coming soon, promise,
Ex.
Comments
Tim Hawkins
New here and recently dove headfirst into watching every video on your channels. I'm a huge fan of your writing style and sense of humor, and someday I'd like to make a video game in a similar vein. I make them for a living currently, but hope to someday make the time to do my own solo projects. The work you do is inspiring as an artist, and as a human. Good luck on all your future projects, I'm excited to see them!
Ahry Siss
Also much love from Bulgaria, do what you feel like and I hope you can live well from this. There is no saying how much your videos have entertained me and made my mind go places it never had before, as well as revisit some places lost to time I missed dearly. Your book is also amazing and I already recommend it to whoever I see and can wield the English language. Take your time, all the best and lets hope for some better weather soon. Big hug!
exurb1a
Hello Robotman, I know I always say it's a pleasure to hear from you, but that's because it's always a pleasure to hear from you. Firstly, obviously, rather excited to hear how your Finland trip turns out. I got into Finnish cinema a few years ago and realised very quickly that I must go and visit as soon as possible. Do let me know how it goes. Just had a gander of Kurzory Quest, and obviously it's wonderful - did you design the thing yourself, my man? Even 93 servers would be an undertaking, but it sounds like the real number is significantly bigger - I'm quite sure the Kurzgesagt team are extremely appreciative of all that hard work. Will be following closely, what a wonderful project. Totally understood not being a fan of top-downers. I was initially rather skeptical of Disco Elysium myself, but I promise it's worth it, particularly for the writing. No pressure at all, but it's a gem. And paha, the wolf would make a wonderful cosplay costume I'm sure. So glad you enjoyed the movie -- considering it was recommended to me indirectly by a 5-year-old, I still don't know how to make sense of how kids and adults alike seem to love this one. Also, on the lactose front, I cut it out a while back after finally going vegan, and I can certainly confirm that it seemed to improve a whole bunch, um, metabolically speaking. Really sorry to hear about mystery illness there, hope it isn't getting you down; glad it seems to be improving anyway. Right, best wishes on your Finnish adventure, can't wait to hear how it goes, Ex
exurb1a
Thank you kindly, SkyCat
exurb1a
You know, I've only read parts here and there on the net. Just about to hop on a flight, and I think it'd make the perfect reading material, will take it with me. Cheers Wheez
exurb1a
Thank you Hang :)
exurb1a
May I begin by saying that cats and wizards are easily in the top 5 list of my favourite entities. I'm sure you'll ace your GCSEs, but I'll wish you some luck anyway - I'm sure things have changed these days, but I remember trying to use lots of long words on the English papers and misspelling them, so that wasn't a winning tactic. Seriously though, all the best of luck (and the feeling of relief at finishing them you're about to experience, it's immense.)
exurb1a
Yiiiis, about that. I really don't have a good excuse beyond that I keep "finding other things to do around the house" when I try to edit it. I'll do my absolute best to get it out shortly, apologies
exurb1a
Thank you ever so much, Dennis, massive love
exurb1a
Oh snap, I had no idea it was already a field in itself - super interesting to hear, cheers Dominic
exurb1a
Thank you kindly, Paul
SkyCat
Genius takes time to create - and quantity is not what it's about.
RobotWobot
Slow animal with a shell from beyond this planet, hello! A pleasure as always. You always seem to post at the most inopportune times for me: whether staying at work late, on-holiday or otherwise busy. 😁 When you posted this I was rushing home to book a trip to Finland... and now I shall be going at the beginning of May with some friends. (Why Finland? To meet a friend I've known for 3 years) If anyone reading this will be in Finland around 5th or 6th May, lmk! ^_^ Another BIG thing: I mentioned this last time but here's some more detail: I'm working on something awesome with a friend (my idea, they coded it): you can find it here: https://kurzory.quest/ - there's still a ton of work to go but lemme give ya a basic explanation: Kurzgesagt - In a Nutshell is an amazing animated educational YT channel. They made a video about making friends and published a subreddit along with it, containing all the countries and cities of the world. People from all over the world built **local** communities and met in the real world, but many were lost because invitation links expired, or people don't know how to use Reddit etc. Kurzory Quest will be taking all of those communities and making them easily available for everyone. I've suffered from loneliness in the past and so I am VERY excited to publish this to the world. ^_^ I mentioned before there were 93 servers. Well... it looks like there are actually a LOOOT more than expected. (I've recently spent several weeks messaging 300 people because their invitation links went invalid) So we're working on it!! Aww doggos are great, sounds like you (and your team haha 😄) are adoring amazing alcoholic adventures at your associate's abode. GPT4 *impressed whistle*, wow to think that the last post you'd made, ChatGPT was barely even out and now it's completely rocked the world. Another amazing YT creator (CGP Grey) on his podcast mentioned his 2023 is "Year of work (while you still can)" scary to think about... but goodness me, the possibilities of AI seem ENDLESS. Wow, ANOTHER book in the works? Dang you are SPOILING us! And am very excited for the spaceship comedy thing!! I do love me a good zombies story. The book "The Enemy" by Charlie Higson was positively enjoyable and "All Of Us Are Dead" on Netflix was amazing. Have added this recommendation to my list! Hmm, Disco Elysium doesn't look like my kind of game (top-down perspective), but alas I will add it to my list. 😇 Will add Dresden Dolls to my "to-listen" Spotify playlist (although there are over 2,800 songs on there and I shuffle them... so idk when I'll be hearing it 😅). Omg I was just about to recommend Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, but realised my recommendation came from YOU haha. Wow, gotta say it's in my top 10 movies of all time. I'm seeing it again in the cinema today. (Never watched a movie twice in the cinema before) I've never cosplayed before either, but I'm gonna try going as the wolf to Comic-con in May. I'm trying to make homemade sickles! I mentioned on the last post that I've been regularly mysteriously unwell even though my lifestyle is fine and healthy... it seems to be alleviated. I'm not too sure why, but mum has been getting me to avoid lactose and I think that's made a difference. Aside from that? Everything is going just fine. Sounds like everything seems to be fine on your end, too. I am absolutely delighted. Until next time, much love and kindness, Robot 💛 ^_^
Hang Dang
it’s 6 in the morning at my place, such a noice way to begin a day by reading u 😮💨
wheez
I would be exceedingly surprised if you haven't read this book, but I wanted to recommend The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect to you Ex. Just finished it and it seems like it would be very much up your alley. Cheers for the check in.
Catwizard 707
Hearing form you is always cool as fuck ex so thanks for the little window in to what's going on with you. I've got my gcse exams coming up (being from England yourself I'm sure you can remember the shit show they are). And I'm agreeing with bruh, is there any updates on the geometry for ocelots audio book. I do rather love the sound of your voice.
bruh
This is great news. Any updates on the geometry for ocelots audiobook?
Clouthe
Writing my final biology exam tomorrow, so yeah hearing from you is great refreshing. I'll keep supporting you, doesn't matter how much time you need for your content. It's always worth the wait
Dominic Henning
As someone who just finished a paper on black box algorithms, it is an extremely relevant topic and there is an entire field of study called XAI (Explainable AI) combating this problem. I spent several months developing applications to dissect algorithms and it is not a hopeless endeavor. There is progress, even if it is slow
Paul Estermann
What a nice surprise to find some thoughts drifting into my usually monotonous inbox.
