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Nuki News #37: Comparing Yourself
🕑 Added 2020-12-10 04:10:53 +0000 UTCI Found Someone Better than Me.
Before you panic; don’t worry! This post isn’t to put myself down! This is more a post to help others who may go through the difficulties one faces when comparing yourself to others- it’s something my younger self likely felt at some point too. This is an inevitable part of being a creative, and I might say inevitable for being a person in general, especially in our internet age. You’re going to one day find someone who does what you do, but better- much better. On top of that- they’ll be years younger than you, too.
This person I found 2 years ago is a better artist, more thoughtful friend, and kinder, gentler soul- he learned difficult painting and drawing concepts faster than I did, with much more desire, grew a bigger following and made friends faster than I have, got the opportunities to learn from art school, and he is more giving and much more concentrated than I am.
I’ve once heard the saying, “There is no greater sorrow, no greater anguish or regret, than meeting the man or woman you could have been, and dreamed to be.” I can certainly understand where the mindset of where this quote is coming from. We’ve all had things in our past we seriously considered doing, and ended up giving up on, for one reason or another. Or maybe we just didn’t try as hard or consistent as we could have done. This quote implies that, meeting a person who has achieved what you wanted all along and you still struggle to attain or perhaps shelved, can hurt deeply. It can leave you in a spiral of “I could’ve done the same, if only I…” or drown yourself in jealousy, etc. For me it was music, or make something of the stories in my head, or get into animation, and it could go on if I thought hard about it. The good news is, though, this quote doesn’t need to be true for you. Maybe you read it and scratched your head and already don’t believe it is true.
You see, the person I found, met, and befriended, and gotten to know over the years- I do genuinely believe he is kinder, more skilled at drawing and painting, and more giving(and happens to be younger than me by 6 years). However, it doesn’t lessen me, my value, my work, or what I’ve accomplished myself. Thankfully, life isn’t a race, and there aren’t really any rules- the metrics and standards I’ve made up in my head that cause me to claim this person is ‘better’ than me are simply imaginary. The reality is we both make art we wanted to make, and make it using the methods or styles we want to. We learn from each other, and while I may think he’s ‘nicer’ it’s actually validating for me to see someone else have such a gentle approach to people and to care for others. He may have gotten an opportunity to go to an art college- but he sacrificed a lot to do so, and had to deal with mental hardships I didn’t during my college days.
Often when we see someone who is “better” than us, we don’t have the privilege to know what they had gone through to get where they are. I did get to know about the things he went through, and I’m not at all jealous of his skills, I admire them! He’s become a sort of beacon for me to model myself toward, and he fueled me to improve myself too!
In fact, seeing how easily he was able to paint things so well, more naturally and with more definition than I could manage, instead of thinking things like “I suck, I didn’t try hard enough” or “I’m too slow at learning, I’ll never reach this level, and I have been doing this longer than he has…” I stepped back and asked myself… “Why did I get into painting in the first place?”
This ties into a previous Nukinews post here, when I came to my conclusion on this: https://www.patreon.com/posts/36539240
Through this person, I got to realize I was getting into painting for the wrong reasons, that didn’t serve my purpose or my voice as an artist. I realized my path in art would be different! Having someone to compare myself to(in a healthy way) and see what his strengths were and where mine didn’t match up and “fell short” let me reflect and see where my own strengths are! It was thanks to him being himself, that I could see myself more clearly.
If you’re ever feeling pangs of envy or jealousy...I really recommend learning about the person and find what it took for them to get where they are- to get what you thought you wanted. You might find the sacrifices and difficulties they went through aren’t things you’d be willing to lose out on. And if they are- then you have a clearer path to pursue to catch up! It’s possible to go down a path and realize you don’t actually care for where you’re headed, or you find another road you’d prefer to tread that takes you to the same destination.
