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Nuki News #88 - Lost in the Sauce
🕑 Added 2022-03-24 05:40:05 +0000 UTCSpring has indeed sprung! The sun is out, and my commission queue for March is nearly finished(well, essentially need to finish 6 drawings and color them at this point, but they're the last in my queue!) If it's alright, I wanted to push the AMA answers post to the 30th(next week!) and talk about what's on my mind currently.
My perception of time overall has gotten quite imprecise, too. 2020, 2021, and 2022 all feel in a way, like just one conglomerate. I recognize them as separate years, yes, and I can say 2021 was far better than 2020 was for me- and hope 2022 will bring good times too.
But due to the pandemic I must have classified the 'before times' and the 'after' from when all this started. I'm sure everyone has, really. It's the second year of this. I can't say if it's really getting better or not, and other factors of life push us all around and away from what we want or wanted!
It's no surprise then that, I've been noticing my relationships in the community might be at risk, or already are, dwindling, despite me probably having more overall time to interact with others! I certainly get to stream more than I did in 2020, or 2019 or 2018 for that matter, right? I technically don't work 40 hours of work away from this community anymore right?
It could be the recent big fur conventions that happened last weekend that has me thinking about this- TFF and FE; I'm happy people got to go! Or it could be my friends who are finally available for spring break that I for some reason don't have the excitement I once knew I'd have knowing this; probably both putting it at the forefront of my mind.
What I'm saying is my juice for socializing is at an all-time low, I think! Again, not a surprising fact to let out. But I wonder if I've been straining my relationships online due to not being around or responsive to messages or taking opportunities to pop into discord calls or chats as much as I used to. It feels like I'm reverting back, which isn't really what I want, but I also have a stronger desire to be isolating myself in my room to recharge or do whatever I want without needing to be there for someone else.
I also know a number of friends support me, either here(thank you!!!<3) or through commissions; I am being mindful that my friendship or attention isn't pay-to-win so to speak. But it's tricky. For me, I can generally treat anyone I know as picking things up just like it's yesterday. But I know most people aren't that way, and with my lesser energy for reaching out to people(which I don't think was terribly high to begin with, but still happened!)it may be others no longer feel any connection with me.
It sucks because it's why I do art, to connect with others and express intimacy in a freer way than words could really describe. I've been trying to make gifts or such for people too, when I can. Drawing for others is what I enjoy most. Knowing people want to see things drawn by me is a great boost, being connected with people is better. I want to avoid just keeping my head down and drawing without that 'connection'. I feel that's what has been happening more often though. I am glad that I have streaming as an option to make the art-making process more connected too, if I didn't have that, I'd probably be burnt out!
I'll be working on the AMA post for next week once I'm done with the commissions and have a day or two to recharge I think! I'll stream myself working on it, I bet! It'll be either on the 29th or the 30th, the day-of-posting! You can follow my Picarto account here to get an email when it starts, though I post about it on Twitter and FA!
I don't write this to cause worry or alarm either, by the way! I'm sure you may relate to what I've described here too in some way or another! For me it's a matter or making sure I frame things in my mind positively and don't dwell on what I can't control! Best foot forward n all that. :)
Comments
Artie
Thank you Macxi! And absolutely, that last sentence especially. I'm glad people are able to get more out of the art I make than I get making it!
I totally get you! I also often feel myself falling back into my hermit habits. It's been tough for me to ever stream consistently, but every time I stream or do a call, it's like I light up again like "OH YEAH, talking to people is nice sometimes!". It's just hard to balance with everything else -- work and domestic life and all that. I think it's great that we can continue to make art that connects and resonates with people even when we're a bit more absent as people ourselves.
