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Chapter 68: Regrets of Life, Guitar
🕑 Added 2025-02-05 03:02:24 +0000 UTCA flood of memories—
Moments spent with Minami,
Pursuing dreams alongside Kessoku Band.
These were memories
Bocchi had never shared with anyone.
A secret just for her.
Because, honestly...
The content of these memories was way too embarrassing.
Sure, Bocchi always had wild fantasies.
Imagining herself as a legendary rock star,
Performing at the Budokan,
Bathing in the cheers of millions.
But...
Living with someone?
Falling in love?
Getting married?
Having children?
That was a whole different level!
Just thinking about it
Made her want to crawl into a hole.
Under normal circumstances—
She would've kept her head down,
And buried this secret deep inside her heart.
But then…
What did Minami just say?
"I Don't Want to Die In Loneliness"
Wait.
That's…
That's the song from my memories!
Bocchi shut her eyes.
She could see it clearly—
That song—
Her final song at the Budokan.
The song she sang for Minami.
A crazy thought crept back into her mind.
A thought she had tried to ignore.
Could it be…?
Could Minami-senpai also have these memories?
Her heartbeat pounded.
She wanted to know.
She needed to pull Minami aside.
She needed to ask him—
Ask him about the memories!
Bocchi's delicate, timid face
Slowly shifted—
From hesitation
To determination.
"Hitori, You Can Do This!"
She told herself that,
Lifting her head with newfound courage.
But then—
"What's wrong, Bocchi?"
"Eh... Ah... um... N-nothing."
Ichiji Seika's curious expression suddenly filled her vision.
And just like that—
Her bold determination vanished into thin air.
Bocchi shrank back,
Hiding her eyes behind her bangs,
Muttering softly, head lowered.
N-never mind...
She rubbed her head,
Trying to shake off the thought.
Shared memories?
That's just impossible, right?
It's gotta be a coincidence.
There must be a completely different song
With the same name.
The world is full of similar-sounding titles.
Yeah, definitely.
Just a random coincidence.
Besides...
If she got her hopes up about this…
And it turned out to be nothing…
She'd be the only one disappointed.
She'd been let down too many times before.
Yes. That's right!
She repeated the thought,
Over and over,
Trying to convince herself.
Just as she was regaining composure—
"Hey, Bocchi, wanna go watch Minami's performance?"
Ichiji Seika's words landed at the worst possible moment.
The moment Bocchi thought she had pushed away her doubts,
The monster named Curiosity
Burst free from its cage.
Watch his performance?
If I go and listen...
Maybe I'll find out the truth.
Maybe…
Just listening once—
That's all it would take.
If I just listen—
Yes. If I just listen—
Bocchi wanted to say yes.
She wanted to.
But instead—
"Ah... um... I'll pass. I have work to do in the shop."
Of course.
The same old me.
The words she spoke
Always contradicted what she really wanted.
Bocchi gripped the plate in her hands,
Her fingers tightening around the edges.
I really… haven't changed at all, have I?
An indescribable bitterness
rose up from deep in her chest.
No progress.
No change.
Still a coward.
Still afraid.
Afraid of failing.
Afraid of getting hurt.
Afraid that the answer she would find wasn't the one she wanted.
Right now, she was a nobody.
And maybe she always would be.
I really am pathetic, huh?
Bocchi's eyes, hidden behind her bangs,
were filled with self-disappointment.
Not in anyone else—
But in herself.
Disappointed in this weak, cowardly self
who never had the courage to change.
She silently gathered the plates,
Her movements slow and hesitant,
Then turned to walk upstairs.
But then—
Patak.
"Eh…?"
Someone grabbed her hand.
Bocchi's eyes widened in shock,
Blinking up in surprise.
"Hitori, I'd really like it if you came to listen."
The person holding her hand had a gentle smile,
His face calm and confident.
It was Minami.
The same Minami
Who had gone upstairs a moment ago—
But had come back.
"I... I..."
Bocchi opened her mouth,
But her voice caught in her throat.
"You really don't want to come?"
Minami tilted his head slightly,
His dark eyes warm and steady under the soft glow of the lights.
"Even if it's just for today,
you're still my teacher.
I want you to hear how much I've improved."
Guh—
Damn handsome guys…
Bocchi's thoughts scattered into nothing.
And before she could even process it,
She heard herself say—
"O-okay… I'll go."
W-wait.
Did I just agree?
I…
I agreed…
Just like that…?
Bocchi had no idea why.
No idea why she couldn't say no.
But when Minami asked her for something…
She felt like she could never refuse.
No matter what it was.
She would probably say yes.
Every single time.
And besides…
Minami-senpai…
Did he see through me?
Did he realize what I was thinking?
Bocchi subtly looked up,
Peeking at Minami's face.
Same as always.
His expression steady.
His emotions unreadable.
She couldn't tell
If he had figured her out or not.
Then—
"Thanks."
That was all he said.
"Bocchi, You're Way More Important to Him, Aren't You?"
Having received Bocchi's answer, Minami gave a small nod and let go of her hand.
But then—
"Oi, Minami. Don't you think you're way too passionate when it comes to Bocchi?"
A grumbling voice came from behind him—Ichiji Seika, clearly unimpressed.
"Huh?"
Minami blinked, genuinely confused.
He hadn't really noticed it himself.
He just saw Bocchi looking down, her expression tinged with some kind of sadness—
And for some reason, he felt like he couldn't let her just walk away.
But as for this so-called "passion" Seika was talking about...
He really didn't see it.
"Oh, there's definitely a difference."
Seika folded her arms,
Her gaze darting between Minami and Bocchi—
Who was, as usual, shrinking behind her bangs in that light pink tracksuit.
"At the very least, you wouldn't be that gentle when asking me to come watch your performance."
"Of course not."
Minami laughed, waving a hand dismissively.
"I treat everyone with the same kindness and warmth.
You're just overthinking it, Boss."
He flashed a teasing smile.
"Besides, you're the one lending me the amp and effects pedal.
I'd never forget a debt like that."
"Tch."
Seika clicked her tongue—
Clearly not buying it.
Even if Minami worded it nicely,
She could still hear the difference in his tone.
The warmth in his voice when talking to Bocchi—
It wasn't just kindness.
Even if Bocchi herself was too dense to notice,
Someone used to customer service like Seika?
She could feel it right away.
It was like comparing a matchstick to a bonfire.
That's how big the difference was.
Which made her wonder—
Did Minami set his sights on Bocchi from the very beginning?
Was that why he came to Starry?
Of course, after spending two days observing him,
Seika could tell—
Minami wasn't a bad guy.
Calling him a player or a heartbreaker was probably just teasing at this point.
"I'll keep watching him for now."
If Minami was truly a decent guy,
Then she wouldn't mind him being with Bocchi.
But if he turned out to be some scumbag,
Then she'd have no problem kicking his ass.
The amp and effects pedal weren't that heavy.
Realistically, Minami could've carried them alone.
But when it came to his outdoor performance,
Seika wasn't the only one who tagged along.
Even PA-san came along out of curiosity.
"Alright, amp is fine."
"Effects pedal is working properly."
As PA-san connected the output cables,
She had Minami strum a few notes to test the sound—
Before finally nodding in satisfaction.
"Alright, Minami-kun.
You better keep making me food from now on, got it?"
She smirked at him,
Flashing an "OK" sign with her fingers.
"Of course."
Minami chuckled, offering a polite nod of gratitude.
Then, he looked down—
At the guitar in his hands.
The "Regret of Life" guitar.
To be honest,
He'd never actually played it live before.
Thinking about its cursed effects,
A part of him felt uneasy.
But that hesitation lasted only a second.
Because at the end of the day—
He was broke.
If there was one thing that could truly defeat him,
It was the poverty devil.
No way in hell was he gonna let this guitar go to waste.
Now then—what next?
Right as he was wondering that,
A cheerful voice chimed in:
"Hey everyone! There's gonna be a free live performance here soon!
Come check it out!"
It was Nijika, always ready to hype things up.
"Yep, totally free! Come take a look!"
Her voice alone was enough to start drawing in curious passersby.
It was a weekend, and Shimokitazawa, being just as trendy as Akihabara, was naturally packed with people.
And with Nijika, Bocchi, Seika, and PA-san all gathered in one place—
Their cute and eye-catching looks alone were enough to draw attention.
Naturally, this attracted even more passersby.
Seeing the crowd growing, Minami parted his lips slightly—
Then instinctively glanced at Nijika.
He owed her big time.
If anything, she had just made sure that the "Regret of Life" Guitar
Would have a proper audience to destroy.
An absolute angel.
"Alright! That should do it— Ow! Nee-chan, what was that for?!"
Unaware of what she had just done, Nijika grinned with satisfaction—
Only to get chopped on the head by her sister.
"This is Minami's first outdoor performance, Nijika."
Seika sighed, her expression filled with exasperation.
"Did it ever cross your mind that dragging this many people over might just make him even more nervous?
Did you ever stop to think that your 'help' might actually make things worse?"
Yes.
That was a valid concern.
For most newcomers, stepping onto a stage for the first time—
Only to see a sea of eyes staring at them—
Was enough to make their minds go blank.
Nijika had unintentionally ramped up the pressure on Minami.
"...I didn't think about that at all."
Realizing her mistake, Nijika's mouth hung open slightly—her usual confidence crumbling.
"B-But… Minami-senpai looks fine, doesn't he?"
A hesitant voice suddenly cut in—
Bocchi, who had been silent this whole time, lifted a finger—pointing at the stage.
Minami stood one step above the crowd—
Guitar in hand, taller than everyone around him.
His expression never wavered.
No nervousness.
No panic.
He was just looking down at his guitar—
A strange, almost conflicted look on his face.
Conflicted?
Why would he be conflicted?
The guitar was fine.
The song was chosen.
The amp and effects pedal were all set up.
So what was there to hesitate about?
Seika frowned.
Minami looked less like a guy holding a guitar and more like...
A guy holding a bomb.
"Oi! Minami!"
She couldn't hold it in anymore.
"You've got the guitar in your hands, don't you?! Then just play already! What the hell are you waiting for?!"
As soon as those words left her mouth—
Minami's dazed expression cleared up.
He glanced at her—eyes carrying a helpless amusement.
Then, finally,
His fingers pressed down on the strings.
But before he could even strum the first note—
"Nee-chan! Don't rush Minami-san!"
Nijika couldn't just stand by and watch.
"What do you mean, don't rush him?!"
Seika folded her arms, staring at her sister like she was crazy.
"Did you not see the look on his face just now?
Anyone else would've thought he was holding a damn time bomb!"
Right?
Playing guitar should just be playing guitar.
So why the hell did he look like he was about to blow up a building?
Did this guitar have some kind of death curse or something?!
Seika was seriously considering that possibility.
And just as she was about to say something else—
The sharp, piercing wail of a guitar riff split through the air.
Amplified. Distorted. Deafening.
"See? What'd I tell you? He's playing just fine—"
Seika closed her eyes, nodding in satisfaction.
Until she wasn't.
Her breath hitched.
Her words—cut clean in half.
It wasn't just her ears that were ringing.
The sound had stabbed straight through her chest.
"What… the hell?"
Her eyes shot open.
She turned to look around her.
Nothing changed.
She was still standing in a crowd.
But somehow—
Somehow—
A deep, aching loneliness had washed over her like a wave.
As if—
As if she had suddenly become a single, drifting island—
Floating in the middle of an endless, empty ocean.
"Minami— Stop for a second!"
A shaken, breathless voice tumbled out of her mouth.
A single thought flashed in her mind—
This is seriously cursed.
But before she could even say another word—
She was drowning in that ocean.
And on the other side—
Bocchi's entire body tensed up.
Her eyes widened—
Her breathing hitched—
Her heart thumped painfully against her ribs—
She knew this song.
It was the same.
The same song from her memories.
Exactly the same.
Note for note.
Her mind froze.
How…?
How did Minami-senpai know this song…?
How did he know her song?!
