I_LOVE_RICE+
patreon
V4 Chapter 18: No Regrets Anymore
🕑 Added 2025-05-30 10:52:35 +0000 UTC"You're right..."
A flicker of emotion crossed Nagasaki Soyo's face. The tips of her fingers, gripping her bass, turned slightly pale from tension. Before Takamatsu Tomori could notice, she quickly restored her usual gentle and elegant smile.
But in her eyes, a faint, almost imperceptible shadow of sadness emerged.
"Alright, Tomori, let's get on stage too~"
"Mhm... okay."
Tomori gave a firm nod, hugging her notebook to her chest as she slowly walked toward the stage.
Kazami Haru was already standing beside the electric keyboard. When he saw her approach, he gave a small nod. Tomori's eyes, filled with quiet allure, lit up faintly as she nodded back with determination.
As the spotlights flared to life, the entire stage was bathed in pure, dazzling white.
From his vantage point, Haru could make out the sparse crowd below, barely more than a dozen people. It reminded him of their first show when the band had just ended its predecessor.
As a new band, their debut Live could only open as a warm-up act. Without any popularity, it was no surprise they had little attention. But even so, for the current them, this modest audience was enough.
Now, it was just a matter of what kind of "mark" they could leave with this performance.
Huff...
Standing on stage, Tomori took a deep breath. It had been so long since she last stood here, and her body still felt stiff. Her fingers, gripping the mic, trembled slightly.
But remembering that Haru was right behind her, watching, she forced herself to raise her head and face forward.
And then, her gaze landed on a striking, sapphire-blue figure in the crowd. Her expression faltered.
"Ah..."
Sakiko?
Why was she here?
Just when she had finally steadied her resolve to sing with everything she had, the sight of Togawa Sakiko among the audience disrupted her focus.
She gripped the mesh mic tighter, eyes flickering with uncertainty.
Sakiko had come, dressed in her familiar white dress, standing in a quiet corner of the venue, quietly talking with Wakaba Mutsumi. When the lights turned on, she turned her gaze toward the stage.
Her eyes paused briefly on each member before settling on Kazami Haru at stage right.
By coincidence, Haru also noticed Sakiko standing at the edge. He curved his lips into a faint smile and raised an eyebrow at her in a playful sort of greeting.
The teasing gesture made Sakiko falter visibly, her stiff expression cracking.
"Haru, seriously... why do you keep looking over here?"
"…"
Hearing this, Mutsumi glanced at Sakiko, her typically expressionless face showing a hint of something more.
Soyo, now on stage, had also been scanning the crowd. The moment she spotted that vivid blue hair, her eyes lit up. Her grip on the bass began to tremble slightly.
A bright joy shimmered in her deep blue gaze.
It had been so long since she last saw Sakiko and she'd been worried sick about her ever since they lost contact.
As she thought: Sakiko still came!
If only she could hear the songs they worked so hard to perform, she'd surely remember all those cherished, beautiful times. If they could sit down and talk properly afterward, everything would be okay again.
CRYCHIC could come back. Because they were bound by fate.
"A shared fate..."
But the moment Soyo thought those words, her heart clenched, inexplicably tight.
She instinctively looked toward Kazami Haru , standing at his familiar Roland keyboard, bathed in immaculate white light, calm and composed.
Noticing her intense gaze, Haru shifted uncomfortably.
Hey, look at Sakiko, not me. What's with that stare?
Still, he didn't have time to think about it. He noticed Tomori seemed frozen in place, probably due to the unexpected sight of Sakiko. He leaned slightly forward and whispered:
"Tomori."
"Ah…"
Pulled out of her spiraling thoughts, Tomori looked at him, brows furrowed slightly in apology. Then, she drew a deep breath and faced forward again, resolute.
Her voice, low and a little raspy, rang out sincerely:
"We are a nameless, new band..."
"Here we stand, lost and unsure. Trapped by all sorts of things, caught in whirlpools that never seem to let go. No matter how hard we try to move forward, fear and sadness hold us back."
"I… I'm not good at expressing myself. But with all I have, I'll tell my story—through song!"
The lights of RiNG illuminated the entire stage, casting glimmers on the floating dust in the air like dancing sprites, encircling Tomori like a halo.
She fell silent, gripping the mic tightly—then lifted her amber eyes.
"Please listen—If the Flowers Bloom."
The moment the words fell, Shiina Taki's sharp drumbeat echoed crisply in the air.
As the intro began, Haru hunched slightly, his long fingers dancing swiftly across the pale keys, a cascade of arpeggios flowing out in harmony with the beat, instantly lifting the atmosphere.
Anon Chihaya's forehead was beaded with sweat, but her hands didn't falter. The intense solo practice she'd put in was now embedded in her muscle memory, her chords rang true despite the pressure.
Not a single note out of place.
This was proof of her effort.
The warm, bright tones of the keyboard rang in Sakiko's ears, and she couldn't help but rise slightly onto her toes. Though she'd come to this Live to end Soyo's CRYCHIC dream, now she found herself immersed in the music.
"…"
In the back, Taki's heart pounded faster. If the Flowers Bloom was a tough piece, she and Haru had co-arranged it. During rehearsals, the intro alone tripped them up often.
But now, everything was going smoothly?
And the one she'd worried most about, Anon was surprisingly reliable tonight.
Her only remaining concern was—
Taki's gaze snapped toward Tomori.
The intro for If the Flowers Bloom was long, and if Tomori messed up, there'd be no second chance. They'd have to push through the performance.
Just as Taki braced herself—
A low, slightly hoarse voice rose confidently into the air.
"Kimi ga kureta, junpaku no hana—" (The pure white flower you gave me—)
Tomori, once unable to even sing out loud, entered perfectly.
Taki's eyes widened, then softened into a proud smile. She exchanged a look with Haru, then raised her drumsticks and began to play at full force.
The song's gentle yet powerful tone began to build. Tomori's voice shifted from soft and lyrical to full-on emotional release. The venue slowly filled as more people came in, drawn by the sound.
Unnoticed, Sakiko's eyes began to glisten with tears.
"Sakiko?"
Mutsumi noticed the tremble in her hand and asked gently.
But Sakiko didn't respond. She bit her lip and furrowed her brows, clutching the hem of her dress. The armor she always wore, so full of thorns, felt like it had been cracked open.
Because she once shared a "fated bond," she could see just how much Tomori had changed.
Sakiko had once dragged her into a dream—CRYCHIC, born from naïve ideals and admiration. But once reality struck, she had fled.
Her fragile heart grew overly sensitive and self-conscious.
That same Tomori, who once needed comfort just to sing, had formed a new band.
Once pessimistic and timid, she now faced her problems head-on, even if uncertain.
Her growth only made Sakiko's own self-doubt more glaring.
Bitterness and pride swelled together inside her as she clenched her teeth.
And what about her?
What had she changed?
Togawa Sakiko was still the same—still so "weak," still unable to truly let go of the past.
As the electronic keyboard and drum kit brought the final notes of the song to a close, the performance ended almost flawlessly. Takamatsu Tomori, holding the microphone, had a soft glimmer in her eyes.
Her gaze locked tightly on Kazami Haru, standing at a distance.
"Thank you…"
Those heartfelt words of gratitude from the girl made Haru's expression begin to shift.
"Even though we've gone our separate ways, even though we've been hurt… and it's been so, so painful…"
"But now… I don't regret it anymore!"
Tomori gripped the mic with a resolute look and gently turned her face toward Kazami Haru.
Haru was still by her side.
Whether it was sorrow, confusion, doubt, or despair—
No matter the hardship, she wanted to face it with him.
Such simple yet unwavering words from the girl made Kazami Haru instinctively turn her head to look at her.
That girl, once so reliant on him like a frightened little animal, had grown strong without him even realizing it. He couldn't help but feel both wistful and moved.
But this… this was a slide too dangerous to touch!
"Even if I keep getting lost, I still want to keep moving forward—"
"Because my songs are the voice of my heart!"
Strum—
Suddenly, a gentle guitar intro echoed in Kazami Haru's ears.
Looking up, there stood a short silver-haired girl bathed in warm light, guitar in her arms, her pick dancing lightly across the steel strings. Her youthful, delicate face was lit up with a radiant, unfiltered smile.
"Stray Cat" — a full serialization!
That intro, so familiar it felt like a home-cooked meal, left Shiina Taki momentarily dazed. But as soon as she processed it, she slammed her drumsticks onto the kit without hesitation. Anon too, still riding the high, struck her strings.
[If all else fails, let's just play "Haruhikage."]
A joke Kazami Haru once made, teasing their messy ensemble skills, suddenly became a vivid reality.
"…."
Kazami Haru's fingers pressed down subtly on the keys, giving "Haruhikage", a song not originally from CRYCHIC, its own place in the performance.
"Kajikanda kokoro furueru manazashi…" (My heart's frozen, my gaze is trembling)
Tomori was instantly transported back to that spring day when blossoms danced in the breeze, beneath a boundless azure sky. The falling petals seemed to carry sorrow that only she could understand.
Lost and stuck, she had wandered the same paths again and again.
Then, a blue butterfly had entered her world. That gentle soul had accepted her and understood her heart.
At that moment, she no longer felt alone.
"kimi no te wa doushite konna ni mo atatakai no?" (Why is your hand so warm?)
Words from her heart had turned into [poetry] the moment they touched the page.
Togawa Sakiko, like the gentle sun of spring, had shaped that [poetry] into something tangible. With tender melodies and notes, she gave it soul and wings, allowing Tomori to use her voice to speak her truth. For once, she didn't feel alone.
It all felt like a distant memory from another life.
Perhaps… this would be the last time she ever sang "Haruhikage."
Togawa Sakiko's eyes brimmed with tears. Her clenched teeth could no longer hold up her sharp, defensive armor. Her hands clutched her skirt tightly, shaking uncontrollably.
Those sharp amber eyes were now red and swollen. Her last shred of pride had been utterly shattered.
Still obsessed with the past, how pathetic.
Unable to control herself, Sakiko turned and ran from the hall. As soon as she moved, tears like pearls streamed down her cheeks. Her pounding heart overloaded her senses, as if her nerves had snapped and emotions spilled out in chaos.
There was no separating her feelings from her body—only the broken remnants remained.
It was a kindness she couldn't bear.
Old memories surged in her mind like still frames from a fading film. No matter how powerful the emotions or how desperate the longing—at this moment, Sakiko could no longer respond. Nothing could be undone.
Wakaba Mutsumi quietly watched Sakiko's retreating figure. Her pale golden eyes flickered with visible concern as she looked back at the stage.
"…Haru—"
…
The live show gradually neared its end.
"That was seriously amazing?! We were unstoppable!"
"Haru-haru! Was I good? I didn't mess up even once this time!"
Chihaya Anon had never imagined she'd perform so well on stage. The moment the song ended, her heart surged like a rollercoaster, thrilled and full of adrenaline. She rushed to Kazami Haru's side, hungry for praise.
And she wasn't the only one. Even Shiina Taki, who was usually calm and expressionless, was visibly excited. Her voice quivered with emotion she could barely contain.
"You… I actually saw you in a new light today."
"Kazami! That live was seriously perfect!!"
Flushed with excitement, Shiina Taki had nearly joined in singing during "If the Flowers Bloom." Now that it was over, she just wanted to vent her emotions. If not for a sliver of rationality, she would've thrown her arms around Kazami Haru.
"That was impressive," Kazami Haru admitted, offering praise.
But inside, he wasn't exactly thrilled.
Nagasaki Soyo stood behind him in silence, holding her bass. Her face was dark, her expression unreadable.
Click.
It was like a guitar string of logic had snapped.
"NANDE HARUHIKAGE YATTA NO?!" (Why did you do "Haruhikage?!)
(TL Note: MyGo!!!! ED1 plays)
Chihaya Anon flinched and instinctively ducked behind Kazami Haru. Shiina Taki immediately scowled, her sharp edge returning in full force.
But before she could unleash her own storm, Haru held her back.
He wanted to keep things calm, and he knew letting Taki speak now would only escalate things with Soyo, who was already falling apart.
"It's okay, Soyo... Just take a deep breath," Haru said gently.
His soft voice eased Soyo's expression slightly, but the sadness on her face was unmistakable.
"She was watching us the whole time from the crowd… and then she started crying. It has to be because we played Haruhikage without telling her…"
Her voice dripped with guilt. Shiina Taki looked like she wanted to say something, but again, Kazami Haru stopped her.
Then Tomori, holding her mic, softly shook her head and looked up—
"I don't think that's what she was feeling."
She remembered the last time she and Anon had met Sakiko at school. She'd tried to apologize sincerely… but Sakiko hadn't seemed angry or cold.
She looked like she was struggling, like she wanted to say something but just couldn't.
To Tomori, it didn't feel like Haru was upset with her.
"She might be going through something herself."
Nagasaki Soyo's face went stiff. Her bright blue eyes widened as she looked to Kazami Haru. Her voice, low and conflicted, barely got out: "I think… I need to rest a bit."
Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked off toward the dressing room, clutching her bass.
Kazami Haru furrowed his brow, preparing to follow and talk to her.
"What the hell's wrong with her?"
Now that she finally had the chance to speak, Shiina Taki's frustration burst out. Her tone was sharper than usual.
"And Kazami, why did you stop me earlier?"
"Rikki! Haru just didn't want things to get messy, that's all!"
Taki frowned at Anon's words. She understood what Kazami Haru was trying to do, but it still left her feeling irritated. She let out a cold scoff and crossed her arms.
"…Did I do something wrong?"
Watching Soyo flee the room like she was running away, Tomori's heart clenched with worry, her face sinking into sorrow.
Kazami Haru wanted to go after Soyo and calm her down, but right now… he couldn't.
Tomori, so sensitive to things like this, would likely blame herself if he did.
