Patrefans
Monsoon117 from patreon
Monsoon117 patreon

33 Infestation

🕑 Added 2017-07-12 14:01:13 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

Thanks for the input. I'll fix these in a jiffy.

Pixelblade

Well that was disturbing. I worry for your sanity. I like that he still agonizes over what he is becoming, but remains decisive. now the fun part: -tiny pink petal with black pod at the end of it. ('a black pod') -sunk inward before the split open ('they') -I launched a hook towards center of its black veins. ('the center') -or armor as one of her split open into the gaping mouth with spiked teeth. The mouth had not cheeks and was long (I think it's supposed to be 'of armor', but I could be wrong)(a man can only wonder what of her exactly splits open, for the moment in my mind it's 'one of her breasts split open into 'a' gaping mouth.' very very profoundly disturbing image)('had no') -pair of six pus covered legs (feels wrong to me but not certain, might also be finding fault where there is none)(ps: When I read the chapter I select the mistakes and toss each of them into a new tab so I don't forget them. This makes google automatically do a search. Sometimes with unexpected results. This one gave me videos of popping leg cysts and papers on an under-actuated parallel manipulator wit 6-PUS topology.) -The pumping ebbed a nauseating squelch (maybe needs an extra 'with') -collections of hand and jaws and teeth ('hands') -Even with all steeled resolve, I couldn't (all my steeled) -No normal person couldn't handle it (it's so easy anyone could do it ;)) -my skull like tungsten tipped drill. It beat on my with its steady, monotonous rhythm. ('like a tungsten')(again a mystery unsolved my money is on 'it beat on my little wooden toy horse I got for my eighth birthday from my father, back when we were still a happy family, that I have secretly tucked into my back pocket with it's steady monotonous rhythm. It might also just be 'my mind' or 'my sanity', but that would be boring) -As stared at the head of bloody bodies, I was hungry ('As I stared at the heap' omnomnomnom) -robed figure walking with a calm, composed steps. (either 'with a calm, composed step' or 'with calm, composed steps') -revealing a twisted arm of intestines and long, this hairs. ('thin hairs) I probably missed more this time, because I was too engrossed in reading, which is a compliment in itself.


More Creators