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36 Manifestation

🕑 Added 2017-07-27 18:10:15 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

Yeah, I liked the relaxed pace of it too. It felt right.

Pixelblade

I really like that he told the rest about the voice. I was scared you would go the 'Everyone I know will betray me. I should listen to the voice in my head telling me to steal candy and eat the babies.' route. The more relaxed pace of this chapter was refreshing. Too much blood and gore will tire out any man. some mistakes: -I just thought of a suggestion for your time. (to me it feels like this is missing something perhaps 'spending' not too sure) -My hobby if fighting ('is') -It strut when I tried bending it (it could be that I'm just not familiar with this use of the verb 'strut') -I carved into the runes. (I think he's carving runes into the steel plates) -I broke of bits of the shield ('off') -I'd use for the shields enchantments ('shield's') -Rough, choppy, and jagged, the shield was the definitely the work of an ametueur. (the 'the' is strong in this one)('amateur') -She grinned a like a kid waiting for candy (the 'a' is strong in this one) In the last few chapters this one was my favourite. Keep up the good work


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