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55 The Might of Progress

🕑 Added 2017-09-27 02:14:24 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

Finally found the comment again. Thank your for the help Paul, I appreciate it a ton. I'm also glad you're enjoying the story!

Ashrothe

""His steps caused cracks in the floor, and even the lightest tough from his massive foot shook the earth."" I think you meant "... the lightest touch..." "" I activated oppression as I bolts of lightning streaked towards me."" Extra "i".... or "I activated oppression as bolts of lightning...." "" I kept steady, my steps times before reaching beside it. "" I think you meant "... my steps timed..." Excellent work, love the story and writing!

Monsoon117

Thanks Joshua.

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter. Corrections: The monster had not skill, The monster had no skill, Like a train wreck, my left fist punctured into the monster’s gut. Like a train wreck, my left fist punctured the monster’s gut.

John Thomas

And: "The monster had not skill" --> no skill

John Thomas

Quick edits: "The three of us left the house before meeting up with two _____" two what?

Monsoon117

When gravity manipulation comes into the situation, it will 100% for sure be.

Leonard Marchant

So something from the other chaper about telekinesis, if there's an action-reaction kinda thing, MC should be able to fly by using telekinesis on the ground. That could be useful.

Monsoon117

It was the inspiration for the visuals behind the monster for sure. The main difference would be the arc reactors on their backs and the history behind their origins. It's also ironic because the big daddy's protected little sisters. The maulers protect monsters from people. Unless I'm misusing irony here. The word seems to mean a different thing to everybody.

Loipers

That was undoubtedly a big daddy from Bioshock.

Brent Thomas

That was boss.

Monsoon117

Hellllll yeahhh!

Monsoon117

Thank you. I'm going to be focusing more on how I write versus what I write for a bit. That's what makes scenes like this transition so well. Glad to see you guys enjoyed it.

Creed

You absolutely nailed that scene. Supremely epic

obviousPenname

Bad. Fucking. Ass.


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