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280 A Different Life

🕑 Added 2020-09-16 20:44:47 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

Good point, and I agree. I'll rephrase what I wrote there to make that clear. This is compelling stuff.

Corwin Amber

'spnots of shade' spnots -> spots 'used bits freetime' -> 'used bits of free time' 'Hybrid stared faced' stared -> stare

Jabonought

Honestly love the pov of the others as it helps to see the progress he has made otherwise it removes the tension its rare to see power creep done so well. Otherwise it reaches the destruction of the universe and repeats. And on a side note if its just him all the time it may as well be a monologue a scattering of other pov's reminds us theres an entire universe being written not just a suit of hungry armor

Joshua

Daniel is talking about how Elysium is doing, ends up commenting on how it's a good start to an apology. In my opinion you just can't do anything that could ever apologise for genocide. It's something like a title in my mind, you could have a title for being a saint but also have committed genocide. From my point of view if you commit it, no matter the reason you have to own what you did. The aldairs commit it but use the excuse of the greater good. What I'm trying to say is something like genocide can't be explained or dressed up to look good. One way to put it is that it should be an unhidable stain on Elysium. In the grand scheme they fully intended to wipe out a species. That's just not something you can apologise for, no matter what you later build from the act.

Monsoon117

What do you mean?

Joshua

I'm sorry you can't apologise for committing genocide. Small rant

Monsoon117

Jonathan's on the money here.

Jonathan

From Ch. 274: "All that being said, I was sitting at over 9,000 points in my Sovereign tree. " Less than 1000 to go.

Jonathan

Making hybrids out of volunteers is what I suspect.

alexander julian

I think it'd be interesting if it had been in from the start or slowly put in as Daniel became more intelligent, perceptive or inline with becoming a dimension. As is its a tad jarring

alexander julian

Just wasn't so blatant. Might be fun idea to slip it in though the more he becomes dimension like and detached from the world

Codename; Hentai

Hey! Amazing chapter as always. I had a quick question. How far is the main man himself currently in that skill tree? He needed about 20k, if i remember correctly, and i wondered how far it was?

Monsoon117

To me, experimentation isn't done right unless it's done well, and I'll keep what you said in mind.

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

EvilGodAsura

Of course your writing is amazing but I hope you keep us in mind is all when experimenting.

Monsoon117

I know about these factors, and I think I've struck a fine balance through most of my work. Of course a reminder of these pillars never hurt of course, but I have intentions of using these details for plot elements further down the line.

Turora

Love Alpha, he’s adorable. I also think it is natural for Daniel to make comments to the readers of his story. The way it’s been written so far has always seemed like a story told by Daniel long after the events took place.

James W

"this was... disgusting" oh what's going on experimenting on humans maybe mutating them and stuff

Sam4005

Really appreciated this chapter, thanks.

Zono

Ty for chapter

EvilGodAsura

Small pov changes are almost always fine in stories. You do them very well. The third wall exists to keep you in the story and the experience. Know that breaking it can affect some people almost as bad as a bad ending. Detail and world building is great however don't forget it should be purposeful. Describing things that we will never care about or matter very little to the story itself takes up a lot of space for actual plot development and detail on things each reader would rather prefer. Again your writing is great and don't let anything discourage you I only want your success.

Monsoon117

I misworded that. It was supposed to showcase Alpha was ruthlessly eliminating and weighing the odds to kill his enemys, as Torix would. I'll fix that tomorrow.

Monsoon117

I did go for that slight lack of self confidence, so it's awesome to see that you noticed. Hell yeah.

Monsoon117

I thought that too, but I figured I'd put it in and see what people thought. I can take that out really quick tommorrow and put something in there. I figured a second opinion on the matter would help sort things out, and it did. Thanks.

Hana Buechel

I personally like POVs for all the reasons you stated. Keep at it and Ty for ch

Detrox

I liked this except for one thing. The talk to the reader... I know what you might think... That felt really out of place for me. Not sure how others but I dislike those comments to the audience

Lockwood

I loved the povs and if you like writing them also then all the better. Other than that awesome chapter man I appreciate all of the hard work and effort you put into these. Keep it up :D

Ferco

As I read I thought I would comment on this. I think Althea's voice was quite distinguishable, it reminded me of the times she has spoken with Daniel, carring that... lighter kind of feel, and a pinch of lack of self confidence... maybe... I think. Anyway, nice work =)

Code Reed

When Althea was talking about her eldrich half I'm pretty sure you used 'have' instead of 'half'. I really like Alpha's perspective. Short sweet, and fun. Althea's was less so, but I suspect that has to do with my personal tastes. After all, she's a very very different character than most of the cast.

Blake Richardson

Thanks for the chapter

Omega

Thx. "With the cold calculations of made in our ancient lich's image, " whats this supposed to mean?

s476

Thanks!

Mrbuttface

thx for the chap

Monsoon117

This is a big chapter, so I hope the wait was worth it. I also really enjoyed the challenge since it brought up a few specific hurdles. One of those is making sure the 'voice' of a character is distinct. I think I nailed that with Alpha, but Althea's could've been more unique. It didn't feel like it blurred into Daniel's though, so I still achieved what I set out to do in this chapter. Let me know what you think and if you found any errors. I'll aim to fix them.

Kyle

:o new chapter woo!


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