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286 A Source of Wealth

🕑 Added 2020-10-31 22:10:55 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

Thanks for the tfix.

Alex I

"besides Hod and Althea." Althea is the perspective we are looking through. I'm betting you meant Amara here.

Kingtie

Thanks for the chapter and gl

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

Monsoon117

That's awesome to hear. It's always good to see that some of the overall developments I'm trying to accomplish are coming through.

Marcus

It wasn't so much a question as a thought. If I remember correctly, Althea has been captured twice so far in your story. The first time with her introduction and defeat by Daniel, the second with mind mages and Thisbey Thorn (I could be remembering this wrong, it has been a few months). I was/am hoping this wasn't/isn't going to be a third time. I do appreciate how you build the progression and plot points. I'm an avid reader and go through 4-5 books a week. As a personal opinion, I see too many authors fall into contrived plot points then have the character solve it with plot armor. I don't get that with Daniel. Typically he solves things with who you've created as a character not forced points. In fact, I cannot think any of scenes in your writing that I would describe as forced/contrived scenarios to move the story along a given arc and showcase the character in some way, and I greatly appreciate that. I mean my comments to show an appreciation of your writing, please don't take this as a criticism, its not meant that way at all.

Monsoon117

Thanks and fixed.

Monsoon117

Alexander, that's a great idea. I'll also employ what you guys have mentioned with more spread out POV's so that is doesn't end up with too much in one go. This is what I call constructive criticism at its finest, so thank you guys for that.

alexander julian

I disaagree this is different from the main story line. This mission is significantly more important than most actions Daniels taken for dozens of chapters story wise. Lore, current plot progression, galactic influence. It does risk losing rpg elements so I might include the xp gains for this monster for the team when they reconnect with schema (coz I at least am invested in all there progression just as much as Daniels). But this was a throw back to the classic eldritch fights so it did give us a bit of that element we hadn't had for ages. I might do something in Daniels pov where he gets the guild master xp bump from there fight and just goes huh. Before moving onπŸ˜‚

Steven Vollmert

Congrats!! I wish you a happy married live :D

Idan tal

Congrats πŸŽ‰ happy all is well 😁 and I really enjoyed reading this chapter, the world building here was great, both about Schema and Elysium

Kryn

After checking three to four time a day!!!!!!.... it is here. It is Apon us.... the next chapter!!!! Thanks monsoon! Going read this chapter before heading to bed after a long week, couldn’t be better timing.

Blake Richardson

Thanks for the chapter

Killer Pickle

I think what you should try to do when doing a pov that's not Daniel's is split it between the main and the side story, so maybe at a minimum include a little less then 1/4 of the chapter relegated to the main story just at the end. But when needed such as this small deviation the past couple chapters which is a part of the main plotline is fine as it directly relates to it but with plotlines that don't include pov of the main story.

Jon Lomax

I've not read the last 2 chapters and will not til the main story is back on the go. not that I mind a different point of view in the story, but I don't think it should be the whole chapter, definitely not 2 or 3 back to back. I'll just pick up the story next year.

Monsoon117

I don't understand the last question you asked here, but I intended on the escape being more natural kind of one. Adding a conflict just for the sake of conflict has never been my style, and Elysium simply doesn't know they're there since they did what they needed to do to stay hidden.

Monsoon117

Totally fine. I enjoy feedback, and I use it for any plans of action in the future. It's also ok to be peeved about the release date. I could've done better, most certainly. At the same time, I'm having fun writing this new content. If I'm dragging myself through the dirt to write something I'm just not passionate about, I'll write less. In this case, it was a fun challenge to see if I could make this style of content better. It sounds like this chapter was better than the last for you, though I can't be certain. That being said, the next chapter is it for this, and then we'll be back with Daniel for a while.

Titaniumtac

You're the best monsoon, thx for the chapter. Congrats man!

Congratulations on your engagement!

Lockwood

Section 22 from the start of the chap there is a typo. The sentence says (I raised an eyebrow, "How Daniel he shackled?") I think you meant "How could Daniel be shackled?" Or something like that.

Lockwood

Congrats m8. Here's to a long and healthy marriage. Also glad nothing too bad happened to ya bc of the hurricane.

EvilGodAsura

Below is ment with a purely positive and constructive intent. You know the bigger issue with writing long departures from a main storyline like this is? If updates were coming every other day or the story was already complete it would be one thing. But we have to wait week/s(which is fine the release rate is great) to get back to the story most actually kept reading for with Daniel's interesting skill gains and your ability to write very amazing and believable reactions from other characters to Daniel's abnormalities. Not only that but it will be difficult to make it seem like 90% of the content of these chapters will have been needed once we get back to Daniel's perspective. Your writing is high quality as always but I skimmed and then went back and throughly read these past chapters and felt like it was a completely different story. Your so good at writing I think it will be fine I just feel like it's a lot of unnecessary content right now(which may change im only saying right now as the side story continues). Your release rate is fine its just an issue with having a long side story in general since it can be weeks before we get back to the main storyline . To be clear I think the issue is not that we are not following Daniel specifically but that we are losing the rpg elements and the in depth time and understanding we built up with Daniel. Its unreasonable to expect you to write 2 main characters but without the investment like we have in Daniel such a long side story with Althea doee not have the same hook since we barely understand her and what she can do. I'm sure it's fine this is purely with constructive intent and is only my opinion with no intent to make anyone upset and only to hopefully help the story. ❀ also congrats on proposing!

Marcus

Oh I like that direction. I was afraid it was going to be a cliche of they've been captured and need recused (wasn't she on Giess?).

James W

Glad you're safe and congratulations on the proposal!!! Also thanks for the chapter 😊


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