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69 Chaos

🕑 Added 2017-10-24 08:30:46 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

It's helping with his burrowing skill, so essentially yes.

Scott Rutherford

Is his armor gaining the ability to allow him to swim through the earth? Maybe have it grow and move scales in a sort of flexing / rotating fashion. Make it flex and twirl around his body so he's like a sort of drill?

Monsoon117

That is strange.

"It whispered with power in its voice and weigh in its words..." is this supposed to be "It whispered with power in its voice and weight in its words..." ? Great Chapter.

Fiduciam

Thanks for the chapter Monsoon177, good chapter as usual. Also wanted to let you know that for some reason I am getting email that only 1$+ patreon should get (and I'm not supposed to as I did not pledge anything).

Monsoon117

Hell yeah, and the cup chin things supposed to symbolize thought. I'll see if I can't do a little research on other gestures and add those here or there for the same thing. Thanks for pointing this out, and as always, thanks for the editing

Chrome

Maybe the Fearfighter’s (should be FearFighters) pouring on my face, (I think this should be pouring down my face, it sounds better) I grit my (should be gritted) oppressions aura (oppression's aura) I've noticed that your characters all cup their chins a lot, is this intentional? Thanks for the chapter! I really like how Daniel fights!

Monsoon117

It was a decent twist in my opinion. I tried to make it seem like Daniel was going to be betrayed, but he was just the last pawn in the puzzle. Of course the FearFighter's should have kept better care of the situation, otherwise it would have worked out really smooth.

Monsoon117

I'll check the wording. I meant for the eldritch to be saying that Daniel was choosing to die instead of live. I didn't mean for him to try and sound like he was the grim reaper or anything.

Zachary Smith

That could be cool. See what u can do with it. Especially during one of Ds affirmation moments in a tough spot

Zachary Smith

Woah... Betrayal! What a twist!

Loipers

I Love the story! I have just one small gripe with it. I know it's sort of a thing, but I'd prefer if you sometimes used wording other than "Boundless Storm". It seems a little repetitive to me. Maybe instead use something like "raging tempest" or "colossal typhoon" to preserve the storm imagery.

Hana Buechel

Man do I love this story. Ty for update

MAJmuffin

lmao, that guy things he is hot shit, referencing himself as the grim reaper. besides that, nice chapter.

mallix

As the spines drug me into forward Should be As the spines dragged me forward Also very good chapter

Monsoon117

Really fun chapter to write. Brutal, savage, and bloody, it's my favorite kind of horror. The badass kind.


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