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80 What Follows

🕑 Added 2017-11-15 00:20:06 +0000 UTC

Comments

I enjoyed the chapter. Thank you. Here is a mistake I found: "The gravitational pull of the punch through the monster off balance." Through should be threw.

Arthur

wasnt the phaser skill the one where it helped him parkour?

Scott Rutherford

An idea for a mythic skill.. Earth Glider + Phaser + (skill for piercing reality.. like a Sentinel Spear can) = burrow through reality, from one realm/universe into another or from one physical space or planet to another (like a dimensional sandworm...)

Monsoon117

Yeah, I can add a snippet here or there to help with transitions. It was a hard conversation to pull off, so a bit more work was expected.

Monsoon117

There's all kinds of delicious ideas here. Really makes you think about it, which was my plan! MWhahahaha, you fell into my trap to make you engaged in the writing! -Moves fingers diabolically-

Monsoon117

He has photos of the runes stored in his obelisk. I forgot to add a detail about him storing the stone tablets in his ring. I'll add it real fast. I also amped up the transitions between the dialogue, elaborating on Daniel's thought processes a bit more.

Monsoon117

I'm really glad that's the case. Hope it didn't feel forced.

Monsoon117

The wieght isn't the problem, its the volume of the crystals. The chunk of crystals is about the size of a canoe. That means all the other supplies he has will have to go out of the ring to make room for the canoe. The fangs and sword could have probably have fit, but they aren't that inconvenient to carry.

Monsoon117

You and me both.

Congrats on getting up to 1,5k. I'm looking forward for some pro art on your work ... I'm sure everyone will look impressive.

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

Patrick Ralston

I'm now going to speculate on possible mythical skills for daniel to gain. (The parentheses mark ideas that are even more guesswork) Words of Strength + Overwhelming Presence would definitely combine well with a third skill based on talking with people, (perhaps one that helps one know which words to say?) into a skill that makes one generally good at talking to people. Earth Glider + Phaser + A flight skill (If he ever figures out a way to make it work, maybe using magic to reduce his effective weight or mass?) would probably work to make a skill that lets him move anywhere, alternatively Earth Glider +Tactile Cognition + Something directly combat related(Maybe a skill that has to do with attacking from the earth or attacking from unexpected angles?) might make a skill that helps with fighting while entering, leaving and within the earth. Knowledge Maker + Thaumaturge + An eldritch runes uncommon skill might make a skill that has to do with making better and more esoteric items.

James Lomele

Um he has 300 lvls incoming and 2 ranks of obliterator 2 so 60 time 4 equals an extra 240 more stat points. Each point counts as a level gained if he didn't have any perks or trees. his effective lvl is somewhere around 2500 before this trip. Thing is all his perks are not exclusive other people can get them too if they put in the work.

Anyone else think it is weird as HELL that II Obliterator gives you exactly nothing until you actually pass level 1000, whilst I Obliterator gives best effects if gotten before 100?

Gabriel

Good feeling chapter; the growth of Daniel and Althia feel natural to me and it's interesting hearing her perspective on what he is like. In my mind this story kinda feels like the tracking the steps to the birth of a being like the Old Ones. I hope Daniel always stay sane no matter how insane the world around him is; being like the eye of a storm, always calm. It would be a strange type of horror for people living in a completely insane world being driven insane, having to adapt to the insanity with insanity when a being that reminds them of themselves but is always stable and able to move forward in a way the stays with who is he and actively wants to become. A true super man, not because that of the exterior but interior. I think a being like that would always appear monstrous and would be a very interesting. As for what sanity is that would be being able to accurately map and understand the map of the external world and create and effective internal model that lets you function in a ways that matches up to who and what you are ideally in way that allows you to grow as an existence. Or something like that. :P

I don't know, the conversation between Daniel & Althea seems somewhat flat and rushed. Maybe you could add something extra in there.

Chakfor

Dialog seemed a bit forced, but the need for it was there. The dune-planet was a nice interlude and I really liked how it was handled overall. Is Daniel not going to take the examples of the runic language back with him for later study? Torix might be able to offer the benefits of his experience in deciphering what makes them tick.

Xerias

why didn't he put all the drops in the space ring? not enough space?

Naoggeddon

I very very much like the opening up between the mv and Althea in this chapter feels much overdo

Monsoon117

Also, links to several things right here, Skill sheet: <a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1etMz6ISPhDb6LH6yOkaNbyxmnrkVVnF4GIo0wlOEbS8/edit?usp=sharing" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1etMz6ISPhDb6LH6yOkaNbyxmnrkVVnF4GIo0wlOEbS8/edit?usp=sharing</a>

Monsoon117

A bit raw, so let me know if there's any problems with cohesion. The goal was to make the chapter fun and addictive. Good old lit-rpg goodness.


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