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146 Aligning Time

🕑 Added 2018-06-26 00:38:30 +0000 UTC

Comments

PloofDoodle

Don't forget the bullet people

Stephen Emrick

Enter the Gungeon? Lol, just google it. A dungeon diver game with magic guns.

Monsoon117

Sorry about the hold up. I found a game called Enter the Gungeon. I've lost about 3 days because I sold my soul to it.

drag0nreb0rn

Let's get that next chapter...aye..aye

Grevis165

Fabulous story, wonderful chapter. I'm looking forward to some Slice of Life chapters... and what appears to be a growing romance between Hod and Amarra. Probably the latter the most hahaha.

Monsoon117

Thank you for pointing this out. I put in a line or two where Torix recommends Daniel to intimidate people rather than convince him.

Alex Kagan

At the end of the chapter, Daniel asks Torix which areas he should work in, Torix never answers and tells him where to focus yet Daniel still heads to a specific area. I think you're missing a transition between these two sentences: "I frowned, "Eh, Charisma could use some work." Torix turned back towards the soldiers behind him,"

racktrack

I didn’t get the notification, Feelsbadman

Maritropa

Torix pointed at me, "So you'll be practicing that explosion technique in the meantime while I organize the upgrade system?" I wrapped my arm around Althea's waist, "Yeah, sure." Subtle as a jackhammer my boi :)

Maritropa

*Neck scratch.jpg* Y'all got any more of them grammuh errors?

Ilan

I definitely noticed it, it's much more enjoyable to read . Thanks for that.

Monsoon117

Thank you a lot Dillon. Hearing that the world I crafted has a lot of depth makes my day too.

Kevin Ramos

Ayeeee~

Dillon

I can honestly say that one of the parts of my day I most look forward to, is your story updates. You have created an amazing world and such in depth characters that we can just lose our selves in them to live another life. Keep up the great work, the only problem is that I don't have the next chapter yet!

Monsoon117

thanks for the help.

Joseph Michael

It was like taking my shoes >off< after a long day. Love your work one of the best litrpgs I’ve had the pleasure to read.

Monsoon117

I added a detail mentioning how the foods varied from the texture of water to pudding, but it was still a variety when compared with the rations.

Monsoon117

This is a good point. I'll just say he lightens since his blood is silvery.

Itisn1tmyname

"turning red" in this case could probably be explained as a figure of speech.

Itisn1tmyname

speaking of grammar, you've got transposed letters in this sentence: "Goliath's fall amde the ground seem less like putty and more like sand."

Lolieat

He... becomes grayer when he blushes... I need to spend a while wrapping my head around this concept.

Kevin Ramos

The only odd part to me is how the food wasn't just like puding in his mouth with all that strength

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

Toc Anastar

In heind sight I can't remember seeing anything these last few chapters. Except this: Althea's expression turned sharp, "And why would >you< say that?"

Congra

When you mentioned Daniel blushing, Althea commented on him turning red, but isn't his blood a silvery-gray color now? He wouldn't blush red anymore

Monsoon117

Thanks for the help.

Alec Scofield

How you all eat something that isn't rations? -> 'about' chapter looks good

Nathanuel Vine

Thanks for the chap

Alex R

Yay dont have to stay up late reading!!

Monsoon117

Have you all noticed a reduction in overall grammar errors? I bought Grammarly a few chapters back, and I'm just trying to make sure the improvement is felt by you guys. I figured it would help out as I edit the first book for publishing. Either way, hope you guys enjoy.


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