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Item Descriptions(ch. 198 Preparing for Battle)

🕑 Added 2019-02-11 06:46:59 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

It is a very strange description for the railgun. I'll go back and change that. I use enhancer and augmenter interchangeably. I inject word variation throughout most of my chapters just to spruce the prose up. It can result in confusion if I don't use a suitable synonym.

Monsoon117

These are solid points. All health regeneration bonuses are in a per minute basis, which I'll add. The charisma point is very viable as well, so I'll go out and shift that around as well. He designed his gear with that in mind, so I'll shift the specific bonus that he gets to orient it around the specifications outlined in the chapter. The debuffs don't double for legion people, just the bonuses. I'll make that more clear.

Herald

all of these posts are walls of text... It's a story... I hope they continue to be walls of text.

Grayson

Cancel that, I found the issue

Grayson

Maybe this is only an issue on mobile, but this post is a giant wall of text

Herald

Getting these descriptions is nice. I didn't find any of them confusing but I did find it odd that the later descriptions have references to previous ones, example would be "Yet another mass manipulator". It feels like schema's system is expecting anyone who reads the info on these creations has read them all in order.

Joshua Little

Most of the health regens on items lack a time reference. Per min. Do the debuffs also double for legion people? Isn't Torix a charisma build, wouldn't the -10-20% debuff on his gear ruin him? Not to mention the mana regen.

In the runic description of torix’s armor there is a possible “its” that seems out of place. When describing torix’s staff the words augmenter and enhancer seem weird to me. Augmenter could almost always be augment or augments. Enhancer could be enhancement but that could just be my own word preferences. The one that really stuck out was when describing the battery on the rail gun. “Enable the weilder to lack deft and handling of their mana” it feels like either the and is superfluous or there is a missing word.

BrauBaer

Thanks I really really like this style of chapters

First of all I enjoyed this.

Monsoon117

Let me know if I messed up any math or if its confusing to interpret. These took longer than I thought they would, but the reason for the delayed release of the next chapter was because my older brother came to my place this weekend. We ended up taking turns on each mission in Doom, which was a ton of fun. Should have the chapter out tomorrow now that I'm back on the job and whatnot. Figured this should sate some of you guys till then. I'll add these to the previous chapter after refining them with your inputs.

Jess Koch

First


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