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345 The Elements of Disaster

🕑 Added 2022-02-21 19:18:47 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

I could definitely have written the rulers with a bit more finesse and competence. I'll likely edit that over when I publish this stuff. As for Daniel, he's not the kind of person to change his attitude towards himself based on his circumstances. That's a core characteristic of his.

Asurathe13th

This felt like a bunch of teenagers talking, not rulers of entire factions and nations. And why is Daniel just walking around acting like he's just some, guy? The Man is for the most part, a God. The Shadow dude was right when he said that. And after all this time, Daniel hasn't come to grips with that fact yet? The last ten chapters or so, proved that.

Blake Richardson

Thanks for the chapter

LeWorms

I am very excited to read how Monsoon describes Obolis’ face after he realizes he just f*******ed up. Great chapter, keep up the great work :D!!!!

Monsoon117

It was a tough aspect to manage. I needed to get this chapter out there just to know what issues were prevelant. In the end, I decided to have the descriptions of the floors and everything stay minimal and have them fleshed out more when Daniel fixes them. This breaks up all the talking more, and makes it less of an info/expositional dump. It was very difficult for this reason.

Monsoon117

No one was allowed to take anything outside of basic armors. Elemental furnaces would clear that up in a jiffy, however. In fact, that's a whole can of worms I failed to mention, so I'll make sure to elaborate in the next chapter.

Gardor

Oh. Up stairs, not upstairs

Flusspferd

I think this was actually intentional, as he seems do be baffled by the stairs (which they use due to power shortages) and promptly replaces them with an elevator of sorts.

Gardor

"you all walk upstairs in this place? For real?" Should probably be "upright", if he's complaing about to his head dragging on the ceiling, but also he's twice as tall as everyone else, so he probably shouldn't be in the first place.

Gardor

"the heat from the plasma tubes ebbed in and kept the heat pleasant" Isn't the whole planet boiling?

Alex R

It seems like she has power and wants to keep what she carved out. She doesnt want some young upstart coming in and wrecking the balance of power. Also char builds are pretty freaky. Its straight up mind manipulation.

Tyicius

Loved the chapter. After re-reading it, I thought the flow of conversation between the rulers, transition, and description of the floors could've been fleshed out more. But it didn't impact the world-building and readability of the chapter. Maybe something to explore when you edit.

Anon_Anon

Fantastic chapter! Good to see Daniel interacting with the outside world again. I'm a bit confused about the mana problem though. Don't they have elemental furnaces?

Wanderingwolf

Obolis may not want his help, since this would give him leverage if they negotiated later. But, I think the man is smart enough to use Daniel to gather support and get favors or deals from the others, after they survive.

Titaniumtac

Well he did win the Lottery, if he gets some rulers to sign a cipher contract for protection he wins

kyle

Oh no! It's a cliff!

Titaniumtac

Loved the chapter "My ears popped from the pressure change while I looked up" Hes walking metal, so this does seem weird

Connor Alexander

This was interesting chapter! The chunk about delusion is meant to reveal that trait with Iona, right? She’s doing what she does cause she’s got a bit of a princess complex or actually just speaks that way, without truly trying to?

Joshua Little

Thanks for the chapter.

Illue

Idk, they didn’t leave off on the best of terms, but Obolis knows Daniel’s power firsthand, so he might feel at least partly relieved? Or maybe a bit miffed that he ended up having to rely on Daniel?

Wanderingwolf

This is getting good. He should be able to gather a lot of allies, when he shows that he can do what he says. Also, is Obolis going to be happy to see him?

Weebking12

Love it keep it up

Clayton Cantrell

Love it. Great chap

Monsoon117

This was a challenging chapter to write for many reasons. The biggest ones revolved around the worldbuilding elements. There's so many characters introduced, species, mechanics, etcetera in this single chapter. Building up the backlog for everything took a lot of time and effort. In the end, I'm still not entirely sure I've thought everything through that I should've. If I missed anything obvious, please mention it. That will assist me in rectifying any of the issues I might've had in the scenes of this chapter. Either way, enjoy guys.


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