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The New World Rewrite(Chapters 41 & 42)

🕑 Added 2021-08-26 17:17:32 +0000 UTC

Comments

Monsoon117

The shield's damage resistance is 90%, meaning it's 10,000 effective health added. To convert this effective health to Daniel's health, we have to cancel out Daniel's damage resistance. Daniel's damage resistance is 97%, so take 1.0 and subtract .97 from it, resulting in .03. Multiply 0.03 by 10,000, and you get 300. This takes into account Daniel's effective damage resistance, equalizing the unit conversions for both sides. It's actually reasonably complicated, now that I think about it. I'll add in a sentence or two in the status to elaborate on it.

Zed

300 > 3,000 ? If my math isnt wrong

Monsoon117

Ah, very true. Daniel hasn't actually tanked an explosion in this writing. I'll change it to be a decoy instead of tanking explosions so it won't be as confusing.

Alex R

I taled to Torix about her being a remnant -> I *talked* to Torix about her being a remnant

Required

I feel like this part and its immediate context leaked through from the previous version since Michael and Kelsey didnt implode in the rewrite. But maybe I'm misreading things? --- I waved, "No problem. I might not have to take an explosion for you next time if you have that." ----

RB

Really enjoying the rewrite. It's been a delight to see characters like Althea and Torix fleshed out more from the moment they appeared. Your new experience also shows in the general writing. It flows a lot better, and you did a good job incorporating transitions where before you just called it a new paragraph and completely dropped the previous line of thought. I look forward to your next release, now with an excellent reminder of how much your writing has grown over the years.

Monsoon117

At this point, 90%+ of the written work is new. It might not feel like it because most of this feels necessary, so you might've filled in these gaps in the story overtime with your own ideas and thoughts. I've also insinuated and fleshed these parts further into the story. But none of these character interactions, worldbuilding, or neatly made explanations were here on the first writing. Everything came across in a much more haphazard, chaotic matter. If I was to describe it, everything seemed very off the cuff. I hadn't planned the story out this far, and that showed. That being said, I went out of my way to fix the errors as I went. Those fixes acted as bandaids instead of actual fixes. Here, I'm handling all that bussiness right now instead of later. To me, this makes the story require far less suspension of disbeleif. Without having the readers focus hard on that, they can focus more on a deeper, more meaningful immersion. At this point, the story's rehaul shows the most. It's like there's this whole layer of depth added across every front from a worldbuilding and character perspective. The plot is also much cleaner, and I actually slowed the pacing down. Anyways, enjoy guys. I'm going back to editing the next few chapters. The rewrite should wrap up around chapter 51-53-ish. That will be the first novel.


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