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Salt and Blood - Chapter 116
🕑 Added 2025-01-22 13:36:44 +0000 UTC<< Chapter 115 | Table of Contents | Chapter 117 >>
2.22 - Beating Sense into Fools
Choose your captain wisely, for a great captain can transform a shoddy crew into a thing of beauty, while a crappy captain can turn the sharpest crew into a bunch of useless fools
-Excerpt from ‘Ten Laws of the Sea’, author unknown
Rose danced through the bandits like the shadow of death, the random stick she’d picked up delivering mighty blows that had the bandits dropping like flies all around her. With every strike, another of her enemies would fall unconscious.
Her strength was such that it didn’t take long to deal with the entire group of bandits, especially given the rather diminished size of their troupe. All this time, the prince’s two guards had stood there watching her move with their swords drawn.
For all their earlier bravado when she was provoking Everyn, they seemed to be rather useless when push came to shove. Or perhaps she’d acted too decisively, leaving them in the dust before they could show their prowess?
Your occupation has advanced!
Apprentice Scholar 24 > 25
What? How does that make any sense, stupid tide?
Her occupation had advanced during a fight despite its academic nature, leaving Rose a little perplexed. Not that she was complaining, having delayed focusing on it for a while, but it would be useful if she could understand the driving force behind this particular advance.
The stick thunked against the final bandit’s neck, dropping him to the ground like a sack of potatoes. She twirled the makeshift weapon and slung it across her shoulder, striding out to meet the leader of the bandits at the top of the small hill.
He turned to run when he saw the fearsome girl approaching after dispatching his entire crew, but she was far too quick to allow such a retreat. A second after he turned his back he felt a gust of wind and suddenly she was in front of him.
“That’s no way to treat an old friend, Jason,” she said with a smirk, placing the end of her stick against his chest.
“What old frien-!?” he protested angrily, reaching for his sword when his eyes suddenly widened and he took a step back. “Rose? But you…”
“Surprised to see me again? Man, Daniel is gonna poop himself when he finds out another one of his friends is a villainous scumbag. A pirate and a bandit, though I have to say you don’t seem to be doing too well for yourself. Me on the other hand…” she trailed off as his expression grew more perplexed.
Sighing, muttering about her humour being wasted on fools, Rose grabbed the man by the arm and started to drag him towards the carriage. He protested but she silenced him with a light smack on the head with her stick.
Whether he stopped talking because it was an effective warning or she’d struck his brain too hard was uncertain, but it worked nonetheless. Rose suddenly stopped in her tracks when she saw the guards about to stab the unconscious bandits.
“What the hell are you doing, idiots!?” she yelled, racing towards them while dragging a terrified Jason along at breakneck speed.
Coming to a sudden stop, she felt her arm whip out as Jason failed to keep his balance and stumbled over, slamming face down into the muddy ground. She smacked the blades out of the guards hands and stood over her defeated victims with it held outwards.
“Don’t kill them, they’re just hapless fisherfolk and herders. Besides, you didn’t do anything in the fight and now you try to steal my kills? Greedy bastards, get back up there and keep driving,” she admonished them.
“Who are you to order us around?” the shorter of the two guards snapped back at her. “A nameless pirate bi-”
“Silence, Vagorn!” Prince Everyn roared, stepping out from the carriage to cut his guard off. “I tolerated your presence because my father insisted, but if you’re going to behave like fools I shall leave you here in the wilds.”
The guards looked as though they’d bitten a sour lemon, but didn’t dare speak up against their master. Rose smirked as the shorter one threw her a filthy glare, ignoring his simmering fury as she helped Jason to his feet.
“Everyn, this is Jason. He’s going to be joining us on our adventure. I hope you don’t mind. Jason, this is Everyn. He’s the crown prince,” she said, briefly pointing at the pair before shoving the confused bandit leader into the carriage.
Everyn stood there holding the door as his brow creased, but having grown used to Rose’s antics simply sighed and stepped back inside after ordering the guards to keep moving. “I’m not a doorman,” he muttered to himself.
Inside the carriage, Rose stuffed Jason into the corner before squeezing herself beside him, opposite Daniel. Jason looked across the carriage and spotted the other boy, both of their eyes widened in unison as they raised their fingers to point at the other.
“Little snitch!” exclaimed Jason.
“Bandit scumbag!” yelled Daniel.
Rose had a giggle to herself as her sudden decision paid off in a major way. The hilarity of reuniting the pair was short lived however, as they suddenly shot for each other.
Jason grabbed Daniel by the scruff of his shirt while Daniel began flailing his fists wildly. The carriage shook and Everyn stepped inside in time to hear two sharp cracks as Rose slapped both boys back into their seats.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re utterly terrifying, Rose?” the prince asked, keeping his distance from all three of them as he took his seat.
The carriage lurched forwards after he spoke, resuming their journey to the coast after the brief interruption. Rose didn’t dignify his insulting question with a response, instead fixing Daniel and Jason with a piercing glare.
“You two, behave. Jason, it’s Daniel’s nature to go telling tales, you shouldn’t attack him for following his instincts. And Daniel, Jason clearly turned to banditry out of desperation, so calling him names isn’t productive,” she scolded the pair.
Jason smirked while Daniel’s jaw fell open and he started to protest, but Rose held up a hand to silence him. “Everyn, Jason is an old friend from Fairwater Bay. I think joining us will be a better use of his time than prancing around in the forest attacking passing travellers.”
Everyn simply waved a hand, not caring anymore. He was already keeping company with a pirate, so what was one more villain? Admittedly, his respect for Rose was founded on her strength, but despite the unusual circumstances he found himself in he believed that the two of them had the greatest opportunity to protect their country from the impending invasion.
Jason’s face suddenly paled and he dropped to his knees on the floor of the carriage. “Wait, you said crown prince!? Your Majesty, I-” he attempted to bow his head but they hit a rock and he was thrown forwards, his face landing in Everyn’s lap.
Everyn’s cheeks flushed bright red and he grabbed Jason’s head. For a brief moment before he threw the other boy away to the side of the carriage, Rose and Daniel were treated to an extremely inappropriate scene.
Silence reigned as Everyn stared out at the others, daring them to speak. Rose coughed, hiding her face in her closed fist. Daniel had a smug grin on his face, jubilant at seeing Jason’s embarrassment.
“Anyway, now that we’ve gathered a somewhat full crew, I suppose I should explain the entire plan,” Rose said, dispelling the awkward tension.
“That sounds like a marvellous idea,” agreed Everyn, nodding furiously as he brushed his trousers.
Jason took his seat once more, mortified and avoiding everyone’s gaze. Daniel was perched on the uncomfortable wooden bench as though it was a velvet padded throne, throwing amused looks at Jason every few seconds.
“As you all know, Minenblum invaded and destroyed our hometown of Fairwater Bay recently. Commodore Foulter got his ass kicked by me, with some very, very minor assistance from the prince over here,” Rose waved at the red-faced Everyn.
She knew he was truly embarrassed because he completely ignored her attempt at making fun of him. She continued, satisfied the three boys were at least half listening to her as they nodded along.
“They are planning to invade the rest of the nation, with the intent of full conquest. The army stands little chance at defeating them, especially with two of the strongest fighters in the country here in this carriage. Instead, we are going to use my incredibly massive brain and heroic charm to repel them through a strategy I am dubbing ‘Dolphin Warfare,’” Rose declared, looking pleased with herself as the three boys stared at her with confused expressions.
“What’s dolphin?” asked Jason.
“What’s a dolphin, fool,” Daniel corrected, looking smug before his face twisted in confusion again. “Why dolphin warfare?” he asked.
“I think naming permissions should be delegated to another member of the party,” Everyn said, tapping a finger against his chin.
“Dolphins are evil. I love them. They like to play with their food. We shall do the same,” Rose said without hesitation.
The three boys stared at the monster they were stuck in a cramped carriage with, each of them shuffling in their seats to put as much distance between themselves and Rose, who didn’t notice or simply didn’t care.
“I shall explain how a heroic pirate shall lead five bumbling fools to claim the greatest victory ever seen against a seafaring empire that has thus far suffered no losses…” she began, ignoring the collective eye rolls that followed.
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