AStoryForOne
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Chapter 535
🕑 Added 2025-01-25 16:19:11 +0000 UTCYou know, there’s something ironic about the God of Thunder being tazed into a drooling mess.
Credit where it’s due, he’s basically a human – a very well built and strong human – but a human, nonetheless. They had to taze him for a while before he finally stopped struggling.
I was starting to get worried there, but he’s breathing fine and has no problems. Hell, they even had someone check on him to make sure he wasn’t actually harmed.
They’re very professional about everything.
Despite being arrested and stuck in a single room for hours, I’ve been having a good day.
Speaking of the room, the door opened and Agent Coulson walked in, holding a couple containers and I could smell the food from here.
“I brought lunch – “ He stopped, he looked at Thor and then at me before letting out a sigh. “Stop taking your handcuffs off.”
“They chaff.”
“And where did you get the sharpie to draw on his face?” Coulson looked at me with a deadpan.
There may or may not be some artistic renditions of the beauty of the human body all over Thor’s face.
“The sharpie fairy gave it to me.” I responded.
He sighed again, setting the foot on the table and walked over, switching around Thor’s handcuffs so they locked his legs to the chair and freed up his arms.
He then lightly patted Thor’s cheeks, seemingly waking him from his unwanted sleep.
Seeing that Thor was roused away, Agent Coulson stepped back then shot a look at me. “Got you both a burger and fries from a local place in town, enjoy.” He said casually before stepping out again.
[You know, they really are treating you well. It’s kind of strange.] Ddraig commented.
I shrugged, opening my container and looking rather happy with what I got. Something something, easier to attract bees with honey than vinegar. Aggressive methods don’t really work unless you can really twist the person with them. For them, I’m some random dude they know absolutely nothing about.
So, the smart thing to do is just keep watching and see what I do and or say that fills in the blanks.
“What’s this….where am I?” Thor groggily opened his eyes, looking around in confusion for a moment before realization dawned on him and he remembered. “You, Demon, what happened to me?”
“You got tazed until your pissed yourself.” I told him, tossing a fry into my mouth.
“I did not piss myself!” He said sternly, though he genuinely checked himself to make sure. “The God of Thunder does not have….accidents.”
“Nah, they cleaned you up.” I said rather casually, almost ignoring him. “You were out for awhile, like hours. I felt bad because you started crying.”
“That is a falsehood!”
I looked at him, then turned back to my food, saying nothing.
He really is easy to fuck with, isn’t he?
“…..did they atleast check?” He questioned.
“They can confirm that the name Thor is applicable.” I nodded.
“Lies!”
“Or maybe, just maybe, you have too high an opinion of yourself?” I countered.
He was silent, maybe it was from the inordinate amount of tasing he received, or maybe he was an idiot.
It was hard to say.
Honestly, I think he’s just still in a sort of daze and not really thinking straight.
That being said, I would still fuck with him because it’s funny.
“Demon, why have you not overpowered these mortals and escaped?” He looked at me now.
“Some of us have a respect for laws and rules.” I turned my nose up at his insinuation. “Anyways, they brought us lunch.” I slid his container over to him.
Thor furrowed his brow, clearly not knowing what to make of me, but he was mortal now and it was an easy guess that he was hunger. So, the God of Thunder ignored everything else and opened up the container, inspecting his food.
“What are these…vegetables, and breath? There is hardly any meat, merely two small slab between the bread and vegetables.” Thor complained. “This is hardly a meal suitable for a Prince, much less a God such as I.”
“Don’t be rude or you’re going back on the ground.” I warned him.
Thor looked at me and made a face and picked up one of the fries and hesitantly took a bite, seemingly startled as he chewed it. “It is surprisingly tasty. It is crisp and salty and has good flavor.” He then grabbed his burger, taking a bite and seemed happy after a few moments. “I retract my words, these mortals have developed their cooking well over the centuries. I will have to bring my friends back to have more of these….meals with them.”
“You have friends?” I questioned.
“What does that mean, Demon!?”
“I’m just surprised.”
“I am Thor, Prince of Asgard, God of Thunder.” He said proudly. “Of course I have friends!”
“Mhmm.”
“I do!”
“I believe you.” I told him, happily eating my lunch. I then reached under the table, obstructing his view and took out a small jar of Asgardian Mead, uncorking it and taking a sip right undering his widening eyes.
“That is Asgardian Mead!!! Where did you get that!?” He jerked against the chair that his legs were still handcuffed to.
“It was the strangest thing. A big beam of rainbow light shined down from the sky and then it was just left there.” I shrugged helplessly.
“The bifrost!” Thor exclaimed. “Why would Heimdal send a bottle of Mead!? Clearly that was meant for me, hand it over.”
“Mmm, no.” I chugged it.
“Hand it over, Demon! That belongs to Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard! I demand you let me drink from it at once! I have not had a good drink since coming to Midgard!”
I set the jar onto the table, the hollow and empty sound it made was rather clear as it touched the metal table.
“Why aren’t you demanding your hammer back anymore? You were sure screaming about it a few hours ago?” I changed the subject.
Honestly, I was probably going to head out soon. As much fun as this had been, l did have things I needed to do….or rather things I wanted to do.
I should go back and see how that other goddess is. She’s clearly a Norse Goddess, so I’ll see what’s up with that while Jeanne is still having fun up in Asgard.
“Nay, there is no point. My hammer no longer remains in this realm. I had a vision, a dream while I slept – “
“When you were tazed into pissing yourself?”
“-- While I slept.” He grumbled. “I saw it, the golden halls of Asgard and what laid within. I could not make out what occurred, but I saw who now has my hammer. A woman of golden hair, she even somehow swayed my mother. And not only that, she had stolen the armaments of my friends!”
I blinked because I was questioning if he wasn’t just making shit up based on Jeanne’s hair color and the fact that she explicitly said she was meeting the queen.
“....and what’s this about her stealing from your friends?” Because that sounded particularly unlike Jeanne.
“My friends were stripped of their weapons and armor, and the woman gathered them around her! I could see their looks, clearly, they were distressed.” Thor shook his head helplessly. “The only possibility is that this woman is a powerful witch, able to not only steal my hammer but from my friends as well.”
“....come again?”
“A witch.” Thor spoke. “A powerful one at that. Surely you know what I speak of, Demon. Witches are strange and eccentric, my mother always warned me about angering a Witch. They can be vindictive and cruel, and their methods are ruthlessly and unpredictable.”
I found myself frowning, all pretext disappearing. “Don’t call her a witch.”
Thor looked at me, and he seemingly came to some understanding. “You know her! Of course, how could I be so blind. You came with her to steal my Hammer! You and the Witch –”
I kicked his chair over again, letting him hit the ground and struggle.
“You are particularly weak right now, I advise you to consider that carefully. Do not call her a witch.” I warned him again.
Well, he seemingly heeded my warning, not saying a word, but I could see the fury in his eyes. I know for a fact that if he were at fully strength, he would have always been throwing hands.
That’s fine, if he were at full strength, I would gladly let him.
There are not many things that genuinely make me upset. If someone wants to take the piss out of me, I can take as well as I can give. And I would be a right asshole if I threw a tantrum if someone poked at me for all that I poke at other people.
However, Jeanne is off limits.
I grasped my hand and his chair flung back up straight as his head jerked back and forth with a little bit of whiplash as he settled back to sitting straight.
I secretly took out another jar of Asgardian Mead and slid it across the table, much to his surprise. It was obviously he wanted to immediately start demanding answers, but he seemed to force himself back.
“So how did you end up here, Mr. God of Thunder?” I returned to my cheerful attitude.
Thor’s jaw clenched, and it was hard to decipher his expression this time. But I wanted to ease up on the tension, so I changed the subject.
“Isn’t it normal for supposed ‘Asgardians’ to tell their tales over a drink?” I asked, looking at the jar of Mead I handed to him.
Thor silently looked down at it that he had half drank already.
“It is not a glorious tale.” He looked down, seemingly deep in thought. “It was supposed to be my moment of glory. I was to receive my coronation infront of all of Asgard. And then, those Frost Giants ruined everything.”
“How so?” I asked, seeing that he relaxed slightly.
“Like roaches, they scurried through the cracks of Asgard and snuck into the Great Vault. They were destroyed, of course. Nothing gets past the Destroyer that guards the treasures of Asgard. But the day was ruined. My day was ruined.” He took a long drink. “Thus, I rightfully sought answers.”
“Let me guess, you walked right up to their ‘leader’ and demanded answers from him infront of all their people?”
“...how did you know?” He blinked in surprise.
I found myself face palming. “Continue.”
“A fight broke out –”
“I wonder why.” I rolled my eyes.
“-- And my father arrived with the armies of Asgard. Rather than destroying the Frost Giants for good right there, he sued for peace! I was reprimanded infront of everyone, banished as punishment for seeking answers! Stripped of everything I had and now….now I am nothing more than a mortal.”
“If you were stripped of everything, why would your Hammer be here?” I asked.
“My father must have known he made a mistake and sent my Hammer with me so I can return in glory!”
“He made a mistake?”
“That’s right.” Thor said rather firmly.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I know a thing or two about the All-Father.”
“I see, even Demons know the might of Asgard and the All-Father.” Odin spoke with reverence i his tone.
I ignored hm and continued. “Wise would be a good way to describe him, yes?”
“Yes, my Father is wise beyond measure.” Thor nodded.
“Smart. Scheming perhaps?” I saw Thor frown like he was about to rebuke me. “It’s a compliment in this sense. You don’t become a King without being able to scheme.” I waived my hand through the air.
Thor relaxed a little again. “Aye, my Father’s mind is only matched by his strength.”
“So, you think this person, your revered and wise father….made such a ridiculous blunder without thinking things through?”
Thor was silent.
I think he realized my point.
Either he admits that his father isn’t the supposed God of Wisdom, or admit that he was rightfully banished against his own pride.
Why did I feel like…..this Thor was very young?
Regardless, I felt a twinge of pity and since I was blood brother’s with an Odin, I didn’t mind lending a small hand.
Clearly, Odin sent Thor here for a reason, probably some sort of lesson if there was an ‘out’ that would allow him to return.
Whatever it was, it was best that Thor pull his head out of his ass.
And why is that regardless of what world I’m in, I get pulled into Odin’s shit? No, it feels like I have a magnet tied to me that pulls me in the direction of anything Odin related.
The thought disappeared because someone had suddenly entered the room, even slipping past my perception.
No, it wasn’t quite right to call them a ‘person’.
And I’ve felt this familiar presence before.
It took a significant amount of restraint to not immediately blast the illusion that graced out presence.
“Brother!” Thor exclaimed.
“Thor.” Loki, in illusion form, answered back.
I would recognize the God of Mischief anywhere even if Thor hadn’t named him. He seemed to completely ignore me, focusing only on Thor.
“Brother, why have you appeared, how have you appeared?” Thor asked in surprise.
The illusion of Loki smiled faintly. “The power of Asgard allows me to do much, simply creating an Illusion down on Midgard is a trifling matter. You need not worry, Thor, I made sure no mortals can perceive us.” He snapped his fingers and the cuffs on Thor’s legs came loose.
Thor stood up, as if to hug him, but his arms went right through the illusion.
“Thor.”
“Yes brother?”
“Why do you have phalluses marked on your face?”
Thor blinked, confused, then he looked my way.
I turned my head away.
It was then that Loki seemed to realize that I wasn’t under ‘sway’ of his spell.
“Who or what are you?” Loki’s eyes narrowed towards me.
“Don’t mind me, continue with your heartfelt reunion.” I gestured for him to continue. “Though, I have to say, I’m a big fan. Loki, God of Mischief.”
“...oh?” He seemed taken aback. “Even those on Midgard still remember us?”
“Yes, particular some of your stories are still well known. One of my favorite is when you convinced Thor to dress up as a bride and marry a Jotun after he got his hammer stolen.”
“That is false! That was not what occurred!” Thor immediately denied.
Loki’s smile twitched in amusement. “It seems that the Mortals have taken some….interpreation of our tales, but they are humorous atleast.”
“Though my absolute favorite is where you turned into a horse so that you could get another horse to fuck you.”
They both went silent.
“I believe you gave birth to a horse child named Sleipnir?” I spoke in a rather vague way. “Very impressive. It takes a real man to not just turn into a horse, but into a female horse to give birth.”
Thor was the first to make a noise, a barely held back snort and he was having a hard time controlling the growing smile.
“....that was a ridiculous story propagated by my brother’s idiot friends.” He said dryly, an obvious amount of hate in his eyes directed towards me. “Thor, I’m here to deliver dire news, stop your laughter.”
Thor immediately returned to a serious look. “Dire news, brother? Is this not about ending my banishment? If you’re controlling Asgard, then Father must have turned to the Odin Sleep. You’re the Reagent, call me back home.”
Loki shook his head. “Father has passed, brother. His old age finally caught up to him and his heart too broken. They said that he had been putting off his sleep for too long and after everything that happened with you….well….”
Thor’s expression immediately dropped. “I –”
“He’s lying.” I interjected.
“Excuse you?” Loki looked at me with silent fury. “How dare you question me, mortal?” I’m assuming he couldn’t ‘tell I was a demon’ based on the distance? Maybe it was something they had to ‘see’ in person.
I walked up to the Illusion who seemed to be taking my measure. “Boop.” I poked his nose and cancelled the spell.
“You…what did you do? Undo it!” He grabbed hold of my collar.
“Calm down, your brother was lying.”
“How can you be so sure!?” He demanded.
“Because his lips were moving.” I rolled my eyes. “Seriously, that was the most bullshit ‘heartfelt’ talk I’ve ever seen. ‘Oh I’m sorry, our father is dead, how unfortunate, sorry you can’t come back and I get to be king, bye.’ Really?” I looked at him.
I barely knew what was happening, but I could see through this rather easily.
“Loki would not lie about something like this. And he especially would not scheme for the throne. Loki has no desire to rule, he supported me to be king!”
“Right, let’s think things through real quick. Let’s just, for the sake of argument, assume that I’m right.”
“....I will hear your words.” Thor settled on a half-measure.
“Okay, let’s assume I’m right, Loki is bullshitting, and he’s coveting the Throne. You said that your coronation was interrupted because a bunch of Frost Giants snuck into Asgard?”
“That’s right.” He nodded his jaw clenched.
“How did they sneak in?”
“...I do not know.”
“Neither do I.” I admitted. “But it seems really suspicious in hindsight now after what your supposed brother just tried to feed you about your Father dying. Believe me, don’t believe me, I don’t really care.” I shrugged, feeling like I did enough.
I knew like four things about this whole situation and I could already pick out several discrepencies.
Regardless, I felt like I was getting dragged into some family drama that I had no business being involved in.
Thankfully, the door opened and it saved me from any more of it.
Agent Coulson walked in and there was someone at his side, an older looking man.
“Donald!” The man called out.
“What –” Thor tried to speak, but was quickly hushed by the man.
“Donald, it’s me Erik. You’ve been off your meds again.” He then turned to look at Agent Coulson. “See, he doesn’t even recognize me. I need to take him back home and get him back on his meds quickly before he starts hallucinating even worse things.”
“He put down over two dozen of my agents.” Agent Coulson responded.
“He’s a body builder. Always harping on about how much he lifts. And he recently got into that what do they call it ‘MMA’ thing? He’s been hitting the gym every day.”
Thor seemed to know him.
“Alright, you can take him.” Agent Coulson said rather casually.
….what the hell?
“I’m with him too.” I raised my hand.
The man who’s name, I didn’t even know did a double take and looked at me in confusion.
“He is with us, yes.” Thor nodded, surprisingly.
“Sure, you can go too.” Coulson didn’t react at all.
“....him too, I guess.” The other man shook his head but quickly grabbed Thor and pulled him out of the room as soon as we had the proverbial green light.
Literally, Agent Coulson stood out of the way, and even held the door open for us as we exited. No one made any effort to stop us, and they were entirely relaxed as we left not just the room but outside the secure complex.
I admit, I felt like I was suddenly in bizzaro land.
There was no way in hell that bullshit story should have worked.
The man led us to his car not parked far away, Thor got into it with a fuss, and I followed….for some reason.
At this point, I think I was just morbidly curious and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. It was like watching a train wreck, except I was involved, and I wanted to see what was going to happen next.
“So, where are we going?” I asked.
The guy turned around. “Who are you exactly?”
“Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, nice to meet you!” I introduced myself with a smile.
“He is a demon, take care with your words.” Thor warned.
He looked at Thor strangely, then at me and shook his head. “I’m Erik Selvig.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Selvig. Thanks for breaking me out of jail. Anything I can do for you in return?” I was atleast going to offer my help with anything as thanks.
He started the car, grumbling under his breath. “Not unless you happen to be an Theoretically Astrophysicist.”
Huh.
“Well, it seems you’re in luck.” I replied.
What a strange day this has become.
@***@
A/N
Wilhelm comes along for a ride, and everything will go well.
Comments
Dericof D
I'm surprised that the TVA hasn't show up yet. I'm guessing they don't have an answer against trasdimentional tourists.
Dericof D
I wonder if Darcy would ask Wil to be her egg's godfather?
Zystroc
"God-killing sword that matches my aesthetic? Say less!"
thevolunteer
“I see, even Demons know the might of Asgard and the All-Father.” Odin spoke with reverence i his tone. Thor* in*
Aagkard
I caught up! Noooooooo \o/ I got hooked. What am I to do now? TFTC
Geese
I’m theoretically an astrophysicist.
ᛚᛟᚱᛞ ᛗᛁᛊᛏᚠᛁᚱᛖ
I predict that Wilhelm will yoink The Necrosword at some point.
Zystroc
Mr Selvig learning the phrase "Speak of the devil and he shall appear"
ᛚᛟᚱᛞ ᛗᛁᛊᛏᚠᛁᚱᛖ
I demand an immediate update to this intriguingly amazing story my talented author!
Belly
Will and Darcy, the siblings of catastrophic, thr disaster duo, the bonnie and Clyde but who knows which is which, thr sassiest siblings ever met
Kz3838
Thank you for the great chapter, stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
Chorky Dawalded
if Erik's team is mcu there is gona be a sass storm brewing with Janes friend an MC........there either goan get along like a house on fire or hate each other
Nazarickk
Thanks for the chapter
Einar Strandberg
This is really fun. The MCU is making for a great comedy atmosphere. It helps that there isn't a huge threat yet.
James French
For once Willhelm actually has the credentials lmfao
CornFlake
Will be fun to see what Selvigs reaction is to "The Multiverse is real! Bro" Somebody else felt that the Chapter felt short? I read in less then 7 min.
Tristan R Mitchell
For some reason, I read "they chaff" in Neil Patrick Harris' voice. Like, the voice he did for the Toymaker on Doctor Who.
Aeden Emrys
I'm looking forward to seeing Wilhelm and Jane talking science! I wonder 🤔 if he is going to be driving her into going all mad scientist or crazy in love ve with him ... or both? In any case I think it's going to be great 😃 fun 😊! Plus I'm also looking forward to seeing what innocent 😇 things Is up to on Asgard! Thanks for the chapter! Looking forward to reading much more!
MKJ
“Unless you’re an astrophysicist” Haha. I forgot about Erik. I was too focused on the Thor and Asgard part.
emil emil
Cousin: yeah, sure, whatever. Get the fuck out, my break starts in five minutes.
Danielle
XD I want to see what Wilhelm and Jane the mad scientist come up with together
Cinder Kitsune
When is the next Supernatural online message boards chapter going to be?
EllaHulk
Wilhelm is massively enjoying his time here. Loving how the story is going.
blake anderson
Consdering the amount of math he uses to travel dimensions I assume he's better than an astrophysicist
ThwartAbyss54
always over to quickly <3
Enthessi
Coulson is being the absolute GOAT the last few chapters lol.
Blake
Wooooh!
Ravioli Stromboli
Never talk ill about the sharpie fairy
Vicente Huerta
It be really funny if will justs sprouts his angel wings right when thor calls him a demon or sprouts devil form .
Green One
Time for an impromptu adventure where nothing can possibly go wrong. Looks like Jeanne is taking the Asgardians for everything they're worth while protesting she just wants to give everything back
Sheldon
thanks for the chapter
