AStoryForOne
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Chapter 415
🕑 Added 2023-11-07 17:13:10 +0000 UTCThe ride back up had be significantly more mundane. In fact, it was mostly an intersection of lifts that pulled it back through whatever connections to that place were set up and deposited right back at the start.
But now, I was seated in a very high class office, away from the ‘normal’ Goblins.
Across the Desk was a Goblin of particular note, he hadn’t introduced himself yet, but I was making assumptions by the way Griphook was deferring to him and standing silently to the side.
The Goblin sitting down was reading over a few documents.
“Mr. Schweinorg.” The Goblin at the desk finally set his things to the side. “I am thrilled to meet your acquaintance.”
“Yes, you sound absolutely thrilled.” I replied in the same dry tone he used.
“I assure you; this is my excited face.” His expression didn’t change at all. “By no means am I annoyed by the amount of paperwork I anticipate will come about due to your presence.”
“Well, I’m glad that I made your day then.” I smiled cheerfully.
I think it took every ounce of his control to not let out an exasperated sigh. “Mr. Schweinorg.” He punctuated again. “I will not hide the truth from you, your Grandfather’s status as our oldest recorded client does lend favorability your way.”
“I sense a but coming along there.”
“You request a Goblin Sword, yes?”
“That’s what I told Griphook.” I nodded.
The Goblin across from me tapped his sharp nails together. “If it were any other Wizard, I would not even give this request a consideration out of courtesy.”
“Right, is it about money then? I just found out that I’m particularly wealthy in your currency, so have at it.”
He twitched slightly, holding back an obvious grin. But there was an obvious age and wisdom there that allowed him to keep his composure.
“It’s not a matter of price.”
“That’s a bold-faced lie.”
He cleared his throat. “I should elaborate. Griphook informs me that you are….unaware of certain Wizarding World knowledge. What do you know of Goblins, Mr. Schweinorg?”
“Nearly nothing.” I confessed.
It’s funny, from what I have discovered, I don’t think he’d be nearly as polite with me if it weren’t for Zelretch. Griphook admitted outright that Goblins hate ‘Wizards’, so there was no reason to entreat with me so….directly.
He took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. “Shall I spare you the history lesson then? Suffice to say, we goblins view Possessiondifferently than Wizards.”
“I assume you’re not talking about Ghosts.”
“No.” His lips thinned. “Due to our history and surprisingly good working relationship with your family, I am finding it in myself to be candid with our position on the subject.”
“Didn’t my Gramps just deposit money and not touch it for the entire time?”
“As I said, a good working relationship.” He grinned.
“….what are the annual fees like?”
“Excellent.” He didn’t elaborate.
Surprisingly, I prefer to deal with money grubbers over schemes. Well, that isn’t to say he’s not scheming, but he’s trying to get the Gold in my vault which is…..refreshing in its simplicity.
As much as I coveted things I believed to be mine, I also respected the direct desire and was more than willing to let go of gold if it got me what I truly wanted.
“Please enlighten me to what poses a problem in my request.” I gestured for him to continue.
“We Goblins don’t believe in permanently selling away items we forge, Mr. Schweinorg.” He returned to his normal expressionless face. “All items are rightfully ours regardless of what the person who purchasedit believes.”
“….so you’re loaning them?” I quirked an eyebrow.
“You may consider it that way.” He didn’t deny it. “My distaste for Wizards does not make me ignorant of our cultural differences. Wizards believe after they buy one of our hard-forged items, it is theirs forever, and to pass down to our descendants. We consider this theft, Mr. Schweinorg. For us to even consider your request, you will need to understand that if you die, whatever you gain will be required to be returned to our hands.”
Okay, that’s kind of funny in my circumstance. But I was also a bit curious about the details. “I imagine that the Ministry –“ As I learned that’s what they call their government. “—doesn’t agree with your idea of ownership?”
The corners of his lips pulled back into a frown. “You would be correct. This has led to us cutting back on selling our services to Witches and Wizards since the previous War. That has, of course, caused the stolenobjects of ours still circulating to become rather expensive.”
“Which I would assume you will base your own costs on.”
He merely smiled, with sharp teeth showing.
“And I would assume that it’s not just a handshake and promise to give it back after I die?”
“Are you would expect, it is difficult to keep a promise from a dead person. Especially when the laws don’t agree with our own.” He nearly growled.
“Geas then?” I offered.
He blinked. “You do mean a Magical Contract?”
“Is that what they call it here? Then yeah.”
“….the term Geas, hasn’t been used in many centuries.” He looked at me weirdly.
“So that matter is settled.” I clapped my hands. “Shall we talk about design?”
“There is…one more matter to discuss before we consider your request, Mr. Schweinorg.” He stopped me in my proverbial tracks. “Jewelry and other bits and bobs are one matter, but you are requesting a sword.”
“….yes?”
“I am Bank Manager Ragnuk, Tenth of my name.” He introduced himself. “I am also the third best Smith for the Goblin nation.” He sounded rather proud. “I will personally be conducting this forging if I agree.” He iterated. “However, you will not find a Goblin willing to make a weapon of Goblin Silver to someone unworthy. I will not have a Wizardflailing around with one of my creations just to……flaunt around like a peacock.”
I felt slighted.
I stood up, and in one quick motion, drew Mirage from within my Ring and slashed it horizontally.
Ragnuk’s eyes widened briefly. His stoic demeanor faltered as he realized what just happened.
Magical Energy wafted off my blade as I held it at my side.
He slowly turned his head back to see a large section of the wall just above his head behind him had been cleaved away.
“I will not claim to be a master.” I produced the Sheath for my sword, clicking it inside. “But these are the hands of a Swordsman.”
“…..you will be paying for damages. He said softly.
“Take it out of my vault.” I snorted.
Seemingly, just as I said that, the sound of something bursting filled the room, then water began falling out from the new crevice that revealed part of the canyon the bank was connected to.
Water started spilling onto the floor.
Ragnuk twitched something fierce, but he didn’t comment. “I believe it is time to begin negotiations. Please convince me, Mr. Schweinorg.” He tapped his fingers together.
I didn’t even offer Gold. Instead, I withdrew several different Ingots of metals. Orichalcum, Ebony, Moonstone, Corundum, just to name a few, and stacked him on his desk.
I casually sat back down in my chair, feeling very relaxed. “Very well, let’s negotiate.”
Though, the look of greed in his eyes as he marveled at what I had just plopped on his desk told me that I had already won.
@***@
I hummed to myself as I walked down the street, without much of a care in the world. Yasaka was right, this was a very nice mini-vacation. I really needed something like this after everything that happened.
I had a specific few things I needed to do, but I nearly missed something interesting. If not for Sir Wiggles grabbed at my hair, I would have walked past a certain shop in particular!
Magical Menagerie.
There were several cages lining the window with a variety of animals I’ve never seen before.
Even if Sir Wiggles didn’t seem to want to go inside, I was sufficiently intrigued.
The only other person inside was presumedly the shopkeeper, and Older woman wearing rather cliché witch attire.
Big pointy black hat and everything.
At this point, I wasn’t even going to question their fashion sense.
The fact that the Goblins dressed better than them probably said a lot about their culture.
But I digress.
There was a turtle encrusted in jewels. A Crab with a molten shell, steam sizzling off its body. A Racoon that was changing colors every time I looked at it. A pair of purple toads croaking nonstop in one corner, and a 5 heads lizard, specifically not a Hydra, could tell that much. Especially since it was spewing water rather than something venomous.
A plethora of things I’ve never seen before, and it was making me excited.
“Welcome, welcome!” The woman’s eyes lit up as I came closer. “Welcome to Magical Menager, we have all manner of animals for any purpose. We just picked up a few Kneazles, perfect companions for any aging Witch. Or maybe you want an alternative such a pedestrian form of letter carrier like an owl? We have many different species that are more than able to fulfill a similar role. Ravens, Bats, Ferrets –“
“Pardon, did you say Ferrets?”
“Oh yes.” Her eyes sparkled. “Mischievous and frighteningly intelligent beasties. The Owl breeders don’t dare to reveal their existence –“ She leaned in. “But Mail Ferrets are the next big thing, I assure you.”
….alrighty then.
I can’t tell if her particular brand of strange was out of place here.
I was about to question her further, but Sir Wiggles shot off my head towards a different corner of the store. I of course followed him quickly, and soon found him sitting infront of a cage opposite a snow-white bunny.
I thought Sir Wiggles was the picture of pureness, but this other Bunny looked almost Albino in comparison.
No words were spoken, but both of them were twitching their noses excitedly. And then….their little behinds started wiggling in unison.
…welp, I guess I know what has to be done now.
“Oh, that thing.” The Shopkeep lady nearly snuck up on me as I was intently focused on my familiar.
“What is it?”
“She’s a failed product.” The Shopkeep sounded dismissive. “A barmy idea. Could you imagine, Post Bunnies?” She scoffed. “Who would ever want a Rabbit to deliver mail!?” She threw her hands up. “And she doesn’t even do that!”
“…a post Bunny?”
“Utterly mental!” She scoffed. “Now a Ferret¸ that right there is a whole different story.”
“….right.” I had a feeling that maybe she was a few shades crazy for even these people. “How much for the bunny?”
“50 Galleons, no 45!”
“Alright, 45.” I shrugged, nearly pushing the money into her hands so I could grab the cage and get away.
“Thank you for your business! Make sure to come back my stock of Ferretts is only increasing!”
I wonder why…
Regardless, I quickly left.
I barely had time to leave the building before Sir Wiggles was being very impatient, and perhaps I couldn’t blame him.
I turned the corner, and set the cage up on a random crate I found, unlocking it.
The Rabbit inside bolted out, but didn’t run. Instead, it ran over to Sir Wiggles and the two began….talking.
I could feel the emotions from Sir Wiggles. And oh boy was my little bunny falling in love.
“Hello.” I offered, holding my hand out so she could get used to my scene.
The new Bunny looked at Sir Wiggles then to me as it hopped gently over to smell my hand.
Sir Wiggles bounced around her happily.
“Do you want to come along with us?” I asked, because there feltlike some kind of intelligence behind those eyes.
The little Bunny’s eyes met mine, and it suddenly put its little paw in my hand. Which…I was taking as a sign that yes it wanted to come along.
Sir Wiggles nearly exploded in excitement, enough that its lightning discharged unintentionally as he zipped around over head.
I thought that our new little bunny would be intimidated, or even slightly scared at the least. No, instead it did something I completely did not expect.
I had assumed it was a Magical Creature, but it wasn’t until this moment that I realized to what extent
With Sir Wiggles zipping around in the air, the Bunnygently floated up to meet him.
“…And you can fly.”
Why was I not surprised?
That crazy woman did say that they wanted to make a mail deliver Bunny for some reason. As opposed to the owls they use, for some reason.
I watched it, for a few moments to understand what was going on. “You’re manipulating wind, how interesting.” I muttered, rubbing my chin.
It was essentially walking on the wind.
Despite the weirdness, today has been a good day.
With how Sir Wiggles and his new companion were getting along, I believe my promise to him was becoming fulfilled.
I promised him girl bunnies, and here we are.
The two Bunnies landed back down infront of me, still looking rather happy. I don’t know how Bunny courting happens, but I think Sir Wiggles has a new girlfriend.
“You’re going to need a name.”
Lady Wiggles?
Hmm, I’ll think about it.
“Quick question for you, are you able to deliver letters? Or is that something you’re against?”
She poked me with her little paw as if to tell me to hand it over.
“erm….I wasn’t expecting this, one second.” I mentally searched through my ring for the letter in particular that Yasaka and I devised. “So…” I held it out. “how does this work? Apparently Post Owls are somehow Magical, does that translate into delivering letters in some fashion, and that….is something you can do too?”
I was honestly unsure of how this process worked. If you address the letter to something, did it just…magically find its way to them through some convoluted means?
Frankly, I had so many questions here I didn’t know where to begin.
“So, this needs to be delivered to the Headmaster of Hogwarts –“
It snatched it out of my hand with its mouth and began floating back up into the air.
“Okay then.” I decided to just let it be. “Do you want to go with her, buddy?’ I rubbed Sir Wiggle’s head. I could feel the confirmation. “Alright, treat it like a date then, go have fun.”
He zipped right up to join her in the air.
I watched my two Bunnies fly away.
Something I don’t think anyone ever had to acknowledge before.
“What even is my life?”
I took out the note book that Gramps gave me and looked the list of things I should do before going home.
Next was….getting myself a wand.
For no other reason than that I wanted one.
I guess it would be good to know how they worked for Kunou.
But I admit, many things I do end up being just because I wanted something.
Regardless, time to find a shop that sells wands.
@***@
Ollivander’s Wand Shop.
I could practically hear the ‘TM’ when I read the name of the store.
I asked around a little bit, and apparently, he was the onlyWand Seller for Britain.
Does that speak of good things, or bad thing?
I guess we’ll find out.
Pushing the door open, the sound of a small bell rang out. I slowly turned my head to the side to see a strange old man invading my personal space, staring at me rather intently.
“….good afternoon?”
“Curious.” He eyed me.
“I can tell you what brand of lotion I use if you’re that interested.”
He didn’t react and just continued to look at me strangely. “You are a face I’ve never seen before.” He then stepped back.
“First time here.” I admitted. “Want to get myself a wand. I heard good things.”
He blinked. “Pardon, are you saying you’re here for your first wand?”
“….yes?”
He looked at me again. “Curious.”
“Is it?”
“Most curious.”
“I feel like you’re saying that to look mysterious.”
Rather than offended, her seemed amused by my words. “You have never used a wand?” He asked.
“Not really.” I shook my head. “They’re not something we usedback home.”
“And where are you form if I might ask?”
“Japan.” I said offhandedly.
“Ah.” He stated as if that was enough. “I have heard about their use of other methods such as Bracelets or Rings or what have you.” He sniffed haughtily ever so slightly. “It will never replace a good Wand, but to each their own.”
‘If you say so.”
He clapped his hands, adopting a smile. “What a wonderful event then! The only time Adults have graced my door is when their wands inadvertently been broken or stolen. Never have I had someone so old come to me for their firstwand. This is quite exciting. Oh, where are my manners.” He held out his hand. “Garrick Ollivander.”
“Wilhelm henry Schweinorg.” I returned the greeting with a handshake.
“Schweinorg, you say?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Most curious.”
I felt myself twitch slightly. “So, how does this work? Do I just pick whatever color suits me? Maybe something that matches my eyes?”
“I’m afraid this is nothing like picking out a hand bag, Mr. Schweinorg.” He chuckled. “No, the Wand Chooses the Wizard.”
“Are Wands Sexist?”
“Pardon?” He blinked in confusion.
“You said they choose Wizards, what about Witches?”
His lips quirked up. “I like to believe wands don’t care about gender. I merely assumed on my part when giving that statement. If would prefer, I don’t mind referring to you as a proper witch.”
Oh, I like him.
The walls were lined with small boxes, some of them without lids, some with. An all manner of Wands laid about. “Anything in particular I have to do? Maybe a jig to earn their attention? I can recite some poetry if that helps.”
“That will be unnecessary, Mr. Schweinorg, the point if for the Wand to want to join you. For that, It would be in our best interest that they have a good impression of you.”
“Ouch.” Just right for the jugular there. “How sentient, are they, exactly?”
The more I heard about this, the less I thought they were like wands from what I was referencing.
“Oh, nothing like that.” He quickly reassured me with a chuckle. “However, a bond between a Wizard and their wand is something special.” He said rather vaguely.
“Neat.” I shrugged. “Shall we begin?”
“Let us.” He nodded. “And which wand is your wand hand?”
“That depends on what you’re referring to as my wand.”
“Well, I believe it would be the same in this case.” He quipped.
I blinked, realizing that he wasn’t slowed down at all by my little dirty joke. “Right hand, but I can use my left hand, if that means anything.” Not that I would consider myself ambidextrous, just something I picked up from my training.
“Hmm, that does help.” He turned to shift through the many Wands on the shelves until he looked like he found what he was looking for. An engraved casing with what looked like gold on the top. “Here we are, this one has had a previous owner. I believe it will be a good match for someone past their formative years. An experienced Wand for an Experienced Wizard. Black Walnut, Dragon Heartstring, 9 and ½ inches.”
He handed it over to me.
As soon as I held it in my hand, I felt it try to siphon my Magical Energy.
No, that wasn’t quite accurate. If it was attempting to do that, my Magical Resistance would act up and counteract something so simple. My Magical Resistance was inert at the moment, because it wasn’t breaching me body. It was….gently coaxing my ambient Magical Energy into it, like a greeting, almost.
I couldn’t hold back my curiosity and cast a Structural Grasp on the Wand.
What I saw surprised me. It was full of tiny runes all carved out in the inside. I could see the materials used, and every single groove meticulously carved into every facet of the piece.
Honestly, it was beautiful.
Even Medea would have nothing but good things to say about the craftsmanship. Hats off to Ollivander if he’s the one who made this, he’s a true artisan.
“Well? Give it a flick.”
I looked up at Ollivander who looked at me expectantly. “Just…flick it?”
“Of course, how else will we know if it’s the right wand for you?”
“Alright…” I held it between my fingers and flickedit.
The building shook, and Ollivander quickly ducked for cover. I flinched at the magical phenomenon that occurred from my wand.
Ollivander slowly climbed back to his feet, and we both stared at where the wall to his shop used to stand.
“….you needed some natural light in here anyways.”
He stared at me.
He slowly took the wand from my hands and put it back into its box. “….I believe this is not the correct wand for you, Mr. Schweinorg. Against my better judgment, I believe we should proceed. I have never been unable to match a Wand to a wizard before and I don’t intend to fail now.”
He went to a different side of the shelf, pulling of one wand in particular. “Here we are. I believe a more reserved Wand would be the best choice. Same wood, Unicorn hair –“
I barely brushed it with my finger before it emitted a bright light and blew up his counter, sending shards of wood flying everywhere.
“….I’ll pay.”
Why did it feel like that was going to be something I said manymore times?
@***@
A/N
A more peaceful chapter, but a lot happened! Sir Wiggles found himself a Girlfriend, more on that later. Sword was agreed upon, we’ll see that later when it’s done. Letter sent to Dumbledore, and now we’re getting a Wand, just to see what the fuss is about.
Maybe 1-2 more HP chapters of Wilhelm going solo, back to DxD for a bit, then Yasaka and him will be Dumbles to figure out enrollment. We’ll see what happens.
Comments
Darth Bayes
Pay Ollivander with some foreign magical creature parts? Though he does seem pretty into the ones he has, and he could probably only give him a limited supply.... Maybe cuttings from a powerful magical tree? If age matters it's not clear that transplanting a cutting would maintain that, but if the age is a proxy for magic it should probably work alright?
GodOfDestruction 2.4
I love sir wiggles girlfriend, amazing chapter as always
Tristan R Mitchell
Damage to Ollivander's shop is not uncommon. Some wands reject more violently.
Joseph Fera
So... am I the only one wondering how much chaos he would introduce if he taught Haruhi Suzumiya magecraft?... and really wants that to happen?
Verdauga
That was Fun.
Ototsu_Yume
Who would use a bunny for mail delivery she says? Luna obviously, now Wilhelm can reenact the holy grail once he comes across another one with his floating rabbit of caerbannog, I could totally see Lancelot playing the black knight with Cu playing the other one. (or vice versa)
Dav
Can’t wait on what is the permanent and how long of the name for Lady “Wiggle” will be lol
Nazarickk
Thanks for the chapter
Iori Daemona Angel
Destroy the shop!
Peter K
GIRLFRIEND BUNNY HYPE
shirousagi
Wonder what it would be the name of mr wiggles girlfriend and what kind of wand wilhelm would get
Quellec
I Wonder if negima is better for kunou, there is a vampire teacher here 😅. André there are a lot of differents races.
SoralTheSol
Honestly, I just want the whole plot of HP kicked out of a window via Willhelm or one of his girls dealing with the bit of moldy shorts in his scar. Cause if that is dealt with early on the Hogwarts is perfectly safe for Kuno.
ᛚᛟᚱᛞ ᛗᛁᛊᛏᚠᛁᚱᛖ
Making a wand capable of channeling the power of a divine being would be quite the achievement for Ollivander
Suika Nine
The reason why Ollivander didn't react to Will's "Wand hand" joke is likely because he's heard it soo many times over the years that he just tunes it out now. Its most likely the oldest of Dad jokes among wizards.
WhiteMage Goose
So, are the Aurors going to come busting into the shop next chapter? Because the ministry leadership might be incompetent, but the police force is bound to notice when one of the main shops in Diagon Alley is blown to hell
Holosagewolf
I cant wait for dumbledoor’s pov when the rabbits show up then his reaction after reading the letter. Also AStoryForOne i have a question. Every family has a coat of arms i believe in hp nobility and all that stuff. So what did his grandfather use for the family name?
AStoryForOne
One of the things on the agenda for this DxD arc is a family dinner at the Gremory house :D.
thevolunteer
I am hoping for some more HSDXD canon-adjacent interactions soon. Interaction with Milicas, Rias, Sirzechs, something in that vein.
thevolunteer
Some of Venelana’s hair for a core and some Yggdrasil from Odin for the wood. If Fleur can do it, so can Wil
Pierre laplant
Woo, mail ferrets are the future
Galius
I feel like Mozart would find having a special conductor's wand made by Ollivander quite a delight. Also, you can build a wand into other things, like Hagrid's umbrella. Maybe Wil can get himself a new sword cane made, but it separates into a wand /and/ a sword. Or just a wand that likes to pretend it's a gentlemanly accessory lol.
Osiris Sundavr
Not going to lie, I’m kinda hoping Olivander has to custom make a wand for him. He does come from “far, far away” after all. Plus seeing him wield a wand that is just as much a chimera as he is just sounds satisfying. That and other wands would break far to easily, being so brittle and all. He needs something that will grow with him, like use his own blood as a binding agent for the core(s).
Owlfurret
We ABSOLUTELY need a reactions chapter
MochiLeaf
Aye our boi sir wiggles is getting a lady friend before us .... goes into corner and makes depressed circles in the floor
Siddarth Ravi
Please make the next chapter, him blowing dumbledore’s mind and messing with Minerva and snape
willowskeith
Wilheim walks into olivanders. Zelrech wallet: "why do i hear boss music?"
AStoryForOne
Wilhelm: Sure, check back in in, say, 10,000 years? Or tell them to come get it in his home dimension :p.
Orchamus
Hilarious, although I expected him to argue with the goblins about the ownership of the sword considering is possessiveness in the past. Glad to see sir wiggles finally get a little friend of his own though.
Siegrail
I love this chapter soooo much!
Falsic
So... how many names will you come up with for their kids? I mean... they are rabbits.
Traveling Toaster
Also finding much joy in this Harry Potter tour.
Traveling Toaster
Sir Wiggles child shall become a God of Storms and i'm ready for rubbing it in the face of Susanoo.
TCGM
Great chapter, and I cannot wait to read the funny shenanigans that Wilhelm overpowering a bunch of wands continues to cause
James French
I love these little relaxation chaps so much, plus the reactions we’re getting are worth their weight in gold
Velzon
I shall name her. Miss Fluffyflumph. Queen of the Sapphire Isles. Lady of Hats. Etc etc.
ExodiaTheForbiddenOne
Absolutely love this mini arc in hp wilhelm is just fucking around and it’s everyone else’s problem
fireball77
Man what the fuck 😭, how fast is your wifi
Jason Wu
Thanks
