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[Snippet] Monster? No, I'm a Cultivator! (Percy Jackson): Chapter 23
🕑 Added 2025-03-04 02:35:53 +0000 UTCOcean Song was in a particularly odd situation.
“What are these horseless carriages?”
“Where do all of these lights come from!?”
“Crikey, I can see these women’s legs!”
“Why are there a bunch of Japs walking around!?”
A lot of similar shouts and exclamations rang out. The last one also sounded particularly racist, but by the looks of his clothing, the boy looked like he was living during the Second World War.
He wasn’t even the strangest of the bunch. If the boy from that era was out of place, it was doubly so for the ones who marveled at the ‘horseless carriages.’.
There was a large swathe of demigods from time periods that seemed to reach back over a hundred years into the past.
Yes, Ocean Song found himself in the most peculiar situation.
That is to say, he had no idea what the fuck he was supposed to do now. His planning began and stopped at how to swing his sword.
“I believe it’s time we discussed the terms.” Styx crossed her arms, seemingly uncaring about the crowd of demigods. Despite having sent a piece of herself up to Olympus, she never left the stupid Cyclops.
Right, Ocean Song remembered that he made sure to only agree to be her champion if there were stipulations.
He wasn’t stupid enough to just sell himself to eternal servitude on a whim.
“Ahem.” Ocean Song cleared his throat and slapped his storage pouch, producing a pen and paper. “Let’s start with salary.”
“What are you—”
“I believe a fair amount would be an annual salary of $150,000, paid in either American dollars or precious metals. This is, of course, the base salary since I’ll always be on call. In addition to the base salary, I want additional compensation in the form of Drachmas. I admit I’m unfamiliar with the going rate for the currency used by the Pantheon, but let's start out with ten thousand a year. Of course, both to be paid monthly.”
“........”
“Let’s discuss hazard pay and job expenses.” Ocean Song continued writing down. “I would like any job-related expenses to be compensated at the end of each quarter. We can set a limit that doesn’t require your direct authorization if you’re comfortable with that. As for hazard pay, I believe that additional compensation depends on the degree of danger as agreed upon by both parties before I embark on the job itself.”
“....degree….of danger…” Styx repeated she was fully confounded by him right at this moment that she was having trouble speaking the right words.
“Right, that’s something we should discuss before any job.” Ocean Song nodded along. “Of course, we need to set a precedent for instances of mutual disagreements. Let’s discuss a third, neutral party to intervene in matters that we can’t come to an agreement on. I believe the Lord of the Underworld is a good choice, but let’s get back to that.”
Ocean Song believed that Hades would be a good third party to intervene in matters related to the presumed job when both Ocean Song and Styx come to an impasse.
“That brings me to the third topic. Instances of a job being beyond my capabilities and my ability to reject a job. I think it’s obvious that there may be some instances where a feat is simply beyond me; thus, I would like to add the ability to reject a job, citing these parameters. If we come to a disagreement regarding this, I’ll cite back to the third party to mediate.”
Ocean Song perked up, remembering something else. “Ah, another thing, I’ll need the ability to excuse myself from a particular job if I have an emotional or social connection to the ones involved that impedes my ability. If I can’t be an impartial arbiter of your will, then it looks badly back upon you, and we simply can’t have that.”
“........”
“Let’s talk support when performing official duties. Blessings, divine intervention –”
“............”
Ocean Song continued to prattle on to a silent Styx.
“Vacation days.” Ocean Song raised a finger. “Along with sick days, time off, and overtime—”
With every moment that passed and that Ocean Song talked, Styx had the strange desire to try and drown him. The urge increased with each word of his that was spoken.
Finally, Styx seemingly reached her breaking point. Without warning, she kicked him, making him drop the ‘contract’ he had been writing.
She huffed in annoyance, grabbed the contract and disappeared.
Ocean Song got back up, dusting himself off, and looked around.
All the kids were looking at him with different expressions, as if waiting for him to tell them what to do.
Ocean Song didn’t know what to do; Hades just told him a while ago to sit still, and he’s sending some help.
So Ocean Song did the only thing he knew how to do.
“Hey kids, who wants to learn to go against the Heavens!?”
Truly, he was an expert cultivator.
@***@
Styx marched right into the throne room of Hades’ palace.
The God of the Underworld, while not surprised to see her, was a bit startled by her sudden appearance. It wasn’t just him there either; Hecate and Persephone were also present.
“Styx, are you here to give me ultimatums as well?” Hades raised an eyebrow, clearly aware of what happened on Olympus.
Frankly, he didn’t have a problem with what she did. It would make his job easier if everyone started taking oaths more seriously.
Styx’s nostrils flared; she was angry, but she wasn’t angry. “No, I’m here for something else.”
“I’m always happy to assist you with whatever you need.” Hades said it politely, and it was genuine. He treated his subordinates well, especially the ones who never caused problems. Styx never caused any problems in his underworld, so he was more than willing to accommodate any reasonable requests of hers.
Her eyes met his and then landed on Hecate. “Your Cyclops is an idiot.” She said with no small amount of frustration.
“...What did he do now?” Hecate hesitantly asked her aunt.
Styx didn’t immediately answer; instead, she turned back to Hades. “Hades, I’ve been working for you for a long time.”
“....yes.” Hades acknowledged that, unsure of where this was going.
Styx paused, looking over the contract that she held in her hands, finding a term that was applicable to her current situation. It was something Ocean Song said in passing, but it stuck with her. “I want back pay!”
How was she supposed to ‘pay’ her ‘champion’ if she had no money!? What did she need money for!?
“...pardon?” Hades blurted out in utter confusion.
Styx huffed again and all but threw the contract to Hades. “I took that stupid Cyclops as my champion.”
The God of the Underworld took a moment to understand what he was looking at. An initial glance turned into a thorough reading. “...Are you sure he wrote this?”
“Yes, why?”
“Because this is a reasonable, articulate, and well-thought-out employment contract with very few flaws that I would correct.”
Hecate looked at him, understanding the situation based on what happened on Olympus, and then she looked back at Styx. “I agree. Are you sure he wrote it?”
“He wrote it right in front of me.” Styx scowled.
Persephone looked over Hades’ shoulder as he continued to go through it.
“If anything, the compensation is slightly on the lower end.” Hades spoke strangely, intrigued and a bit impressed. “He accounted for vacation time interrupted by time-sensitive judgments with a reasonable accommodation. He even added an obligation on his end for notice for his own resignation set at a year in advance.”
Hades was…honestly impressed.
This was almost on par with the contracts he uses as well.
Not all of his subordinates work for him out of some ‘divine obligation’ or other nonsense. As the god of wealth, he manages a lot of expenses and employees who work for him with all the benefits that come with that.
Hecate rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m surprised he didn’t write it in crayon.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t write it in crayon and then eat the crayons after.” Hades snorted, still shuffling through the papers. “I see nothing overly wrong with this; if it’s acceptable to you, Styx.”
Hecate held her tongue, because as much as she wanted to reject on his behalf to become someone else's ‘champion,’ it seemed that he surprisingly left room for himself to navigate away from the position if worse came to worse.
“Are we sure that he isn’t just pretending?” Persephone finally spoke up, raising a valid point.
Merely pretending to be a fool.
As gods, they were paranoid by default; the moment it was spoken, the thought latched onto the back of their minds and didn’t disappear.
Wordlessly, Hades waved his hand, projecting images that showed Ocean Show at the Casino.
Despite him wanting to be very cautious about the entire fiasco, it had been blown up quite literally. The important thing was that his children were safe under the protection of the stupid Cyclops, who was strong enough to actually keep them safe, so he shifted plans. He sent some more agents to help manage the problem and was now keeping a close eye on it personally.
He was sure that no godly interference could happen, so anything on the mortal spectrum, the Cyclops could take care of it, as he has proven himself.
However, Hades didn’t say it out loud, but he also had no idea what the fuck he was going to do with so many demigods.
“Repeat after me!” Ocean Song declared, holding his sword up. “With a celestial sword, I can go to the heavens and enter the netherworld. I’m in control of my destiny and not fate.”
The several dozen demigods all repeated the words, making them resound while they each held a stick up, mimicking his actions.
Hades let out a deep sigh, pushing away the paranoia that crept up previously, and instead ran a hand down his face.
It wasn’t just because Ocean Song was being Ocean Song. No, it was because he could see his two children standing at the front, with stars in their eyes as they followed along.
“Husband!” Persephone grabbed hold of Hades’ shoulder in a vice grip, making Hades snap his eyes open.
There was now someone else standing there, a god.
And they most certainly weren’t from the Greek pantheon.
Hades shot to his feet, cursing as he teleported over.
@***@
“Okay everyone, sit cross legged like I showed you.” Ocean Song walked around the group inspecting them. “Get comfortable, and you can ask me any questions.”
One boy raised his hand. “Are you a superhero?”
“Introduce yourself first before asking.” He lightly bopped the boy’s head.
“Nico Di Angelo.” He rubbed his forehead. “Um…are you a superhero, sir?”
“I’m afraid I cannot claim such a loft title. This one is simply a Cultivator who seeks immortality.” Ocean Song clasped his hands behind his back as his robes fluttered heroically.
“What does that –” Ocean Song bopped his head again.
“One question per person at a time.” He interrupted. “You’re next.” He pointed at the girl next to him.
“Bianca Di Angelo.” She introduced. “Why does it look like some of them came out of an old picture?” She glanced at quite a few children behind her.
They weren’t stupid; in fact, most demigods were smarter than normal kids their age. The fact that everything was out of place wasn’t lost on them even. They knew something was wrong, but the events of the last few hours had them questioning a lot of things.
“Good question.” Ocean Song nodded. “The building just destroyed; it flowed on a different time variable. That is to say, for every day that passed inside, months or years passed on the outside.”
Very quickly, many startled gasps were heard, shocked eyes, and fearful expressions.
“This also comes with some good news and bad news.” Ocean Song believed it best to just tear off the band-aid and let them begin coping and handling reality.
They already had enough hurdles facing them that treating them with kid’s gloves would do them a disservice.
“What’s the good news?”
Ocean Song bopped the one who spoke on the head.
“Alexander Garcia.” He corrected, a young man looking only about fourteen. “What’s the good news, sir?”
“The good news is that you're all demigods. Myths and legends about gods are real.” Ocean Song once more was blunt in his answer. “Except for you.” He pointed his sword at a young man in the back corner. “You’re not a demigod.”
The boy in question looked like he was about to cry as everyone else turned to look at him.
“Don’t worry, you’re no less special than the others. It’s just a happenstance that the Egyptian gods don’t have demigod children or operate like other gods. You are a Pharaoh descendant and still inherit the blood of your gods; that makes you a magician.”
He perked up, despite the oddity of the situation.
“And the bad news?” Alexander hesitantly asked, a follow-up to his original question.
Ocean Song bopped him again. “That’s a second question, but I’ll answer it. The bad news is that you now have to deal with gods and monsters who may or may not try to kill you.”
To accentuate his point, his blade swung out, and a large winged monster fell from the sky that had been practically salivating since a few minutes ago.
It fell to the ground, grotesque limbs, an elongated jaw full of razor-sharp teeth, and some dangerous-looking claws.
Ocean Song didn’t know what monster it was, but it would haunt his dreams.
The kids screamed and panicked before it turned to dust and drifted away on the wind.
“That’s a monster; they can smell demigods, and demigods are their favorite snack.” Ocean Song told them.
That certainly got their attention.
One girl raised her hand. “Excuse me, kind sir. This young lady is Elizabeth Hawthorne.” She spoke, clutching a cross in her hands. “My heart and soul belong to the Lord above, not any pagan practices."
She looked like she walked right out of Victorian England.
“This lowly one is simply here to tell you the facts, Lady Hawthorne.” Ocean Song politely bowed to the young lady who expressed such manners. “Matters of faith are between yourself and your God. I will simply say that your belief is not misplaced in falsehood.”
Ocean Song wasn’t going to tell them how to believe, only that their faith wasn’t wrong and that they should make their own decisions.
The young lady perhaps accepted his answer more than if he had tried to convince her either way.
Now, Ocean Song didn’t know what else to say.
The fact that they were being so obedient was probably a mix of fear, shock, and utter confusion.
If a man swings a sword and destroys a building, you’re not going to reject him when he tells you to sit down cross-legged and says you’re a half-god.
So, Ocean Song mentally shrugged. “Alright, let me show you how to harness Qi.” Ocean Song sat down in the front in the same position and slowly floated up a few feet so they could see. “Watch closely, children; if you learn this, you can fight and defend yourself against that kind of monster I just killed.”
Ocean Song held his hands together, forming a circle in his lap. “Qi exists all around us, in every living thing, in every aspect of your lives. Many societies call it different things, such as magic. As children with godly blood in you, you can harness this energy far quicker than any normal human.” He intentionally began to agitate the Qi in the surroundings so they could sense it easier. He made it visible to the naked eye for them, little glowing specks that rose and fell all around them, a beautiful sight.
“Your first task is to sense this energy, then take it and let it flow into you. Make it your own, gently and smoothly; don’t force it; guide it and—”
“I did it!”
Ocean Song’s eyes snapped open, and they landed on Nico. He wasn’t unaware of the children of Hades, so he had been paying special attention to him and his sister as per his job.
The boy had a grain of Qi that entered his stomach.
“I feel something warm in my belly.”
“My chest is glowing.”
“I feel funny.”
One after another, the children seemed to slowly pick up on it as Ocean sat there, staring blankly at them.
…It took him longer and with much more difficulty to do what they were doing with ease…
Was he untalented?
No, there was only one proper explanation for them all picking it up rather quickly.
Clearly, he was a genius teacher and cultivator.
@***@
Ocean Song was flabbergasted.
At his own teaching talent, because there was no other explanation for the fact that every one of them reached the first stage of Qi Condensation.
“With a celestial sword, I can go to the heavens and enter the netherworld. I’m in control of my destiny and not fate.” He roared.
“With a celestial sword, I can go to the heavens and enter the netherworld. I’m in control of my destiny and not fate.” They repeated back in unison.
They were a lot more enthusiastic now.
It’s easy to overcome shock and fear when you suddenly gain a not insignificant amount of supernatural power.
He watched with pride as they swung their sticks properly. It looked rather comical from the side, so many different backgrounds and times they came from, yet they acted together as a group.
However, Ocean Song immediately felt a tingling down the nape of his neck and noticed the approaching presence.
A godly presence.
He stepped forward protectively between the newcomers and the kids.
And almost immediately a swirl of shadows had Hades himself walk out, baring his own presence towards the newcomers.
As if an invitation, many more godly presences descended upon this little area, and they all made themselves known. A man with an elephant head, with someone at his side. A person wearing what looked like Mexican or South American regalia. Someone that looked specifically Japanese. A god that felt of light that held a dimmed spear in his hand, yet contained unfathomable power. Quite a few of them all appeared; they were almost all glaring at Hades.
Particularly, Ocean Song noted that only Hades was from the Greek side of things.
The air was stifling to even someone like him; he glanced back at the children and frowned, seeing them have trouble even breathing.
Ocean Song flared his own Qi and swung his sword. He didn’t swing it at any of them, but at the air, quite literally cutting through the tension.
It startled all of them as they had been having a rather intense staring contest.
“You are scaring the children.” Ocean Song said evenly, despite their intense gazes boring into him now.
His words made them all come to their senses; their presence eased up.
“You all are breaking the rules.” Hades was the first to speak.
“I am Ganesha.” The elephant-headed god spoke up; his tone was oddly soothing even if it carried a hint of anger. “Don’t speak nonsense, Hades. You know why we’re here.”
Before Hades could utter a word, Ocean Song spoke up first. “Greetings, Great God Ganesha, your name is well known to this lowly cyclops. I dare not be presumptuous, but I assume you are here for your son?” Ocean Song gestured to one particular child among the group.
Ganesha suddenly had all the wind taken out of his sails as he stared at the Cyclops, who just ignored all the 'hostilities' and jumped right to the point. Likewise, Hades, who wanted to slap him, suddenly found himself silenced.
“How would you know he is my son?” Ganesha looked sternly at the Cyclops because, oddly enough, the boy didn’t even look Indian; if anything, he was slightly on the paler side.
“Is it not obvious? The resemblance is uncanny.” Ocean Song, said rather politely, as every other god there silently stared at him, dumbfounded. “Truly, he inherited your amber eyes, Great God. The elegant and serene demeanor is impossible to mistake.”
At this point, Hades didn’t know if he wanted to strangle him or reward him, as he somehow stumbled through a very delicate situation and did so in a way that almost completely disarmed them of their anger.
No, if anything, there seemed to be a hint of pride showing on the God Ganesha’s face from Ocean Song’s shameless bootlicking.
Though the newfound peace was interrupted again with the crackle of thunder that followed a lightning bolt that fell from the sky.
A familiar head of red hair joined the group with a jolly laugh. “It’s rare to see so many different faces like this.” Thor, God of Thunder, arrived.
“Thor.” Hades greeted him.
“Hades.” Thor smiled. “Quite the predicament, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes, quite the predicament.” Hades was forced out.
“Come, don’t be so tense.” Thor patted his shoulder. “You should be thankful.”
“Thankful for what, God of Thunder?” Hades drawled.
“If it weren’t for our Cyclops friend here, you could be over there, dealing with that.” Thor pointed to the east, and Hades’s eyes could see it.
Over the top of Mount Olympus, many more presences loomed and exerted their influence. Many different gods were making their anger and presence known. It made what was going on here seem like a little spat in comparison.
Hades was conflicted.
On one hand, he was extremely glad he wasn’t over there dealing with that.
“How lucky, Honored Uncle, that you don’t have a seat on Olympus!” Ocean Song could see the situation from there as well. Even he shuddered at the conflict that was happening atop Mount Olympus.
On the other hand, Hades really wanted to beat up his nephew.
@***@
A/N
Ocean Song: Navigates a potential political nightmare and also writes up a proper employment contract.
Hades: !?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!
Comments
zane
ALL OF THEM…
LuciferDFallN1
Ocean Song shall soon achieve the ultimate mark of achievement for a cultivator - make an immortal, a GOD, spit blood over his bs
billy oikonomou
Well we don't know who his mom is so maybe she's some chinese monster that found her way to the states and poseidon just didn't care to check?
Osiris Sundavr
How certain are we that he is Greek and not secretly actually Chinese?
Ironcarrot
This is the best story of yours👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Sage Berthelsen
I love that the first thing she thought was “Bitch! Where’s my money!”
savitar
It's a bad day to be the boss
Nick Wen
It’ll be really funny if Ocean get permission to take in the demigods and create a camp to learn the ways of the heavens. A mini oath-keeping brigade
cris pena
jade empeor will stop rumors of ocean song to sun wukong at all cost.one sun wukong is bad enough.then having another similar person like with ocean song would try to be prevented at all cost.
Raven
Or will they keep quiet about the fact he just gave them super demigods
Raven
I wonder if the Indian or the Japanese pantheons will notice what he is saying about cultivation I mean there has to be some cross over right? Or is cultivation no tied to the Chinese pantheons mythology
HugoH
Bro went all JJK sorcerer, he multiplied his idiocy by itself to create genius
HugoH
One solution : Omake
SunyLaw1
He protec, he attac but most importantly he makes contrac.
greatred
i think he meant the "i am Ganesha" bit
l K
yayyyy. My leader Ocean song has posted more of his legends. THIS CULTIVATOR will follow in his footsteps. YAYYYYAYAYAY
Codeninja676 (Brian)
Just how many levels did Ocean put in his Idiot Savant perk tree?
Gary Eslicjk
This was a good bday present thank you
Codeninja676 (Brian)
I think OP meant his personality
Landlord
Ganesha is an actual god from myth
Talsen
Hope the next chapter includes more of the Gods introductions to the kids and our resident Cultivator somehow getting out of this with a bunch of loot.
Aagkard
Was the Ganesha bit a Danmachi ref? TFTC
Nazarickk
Thanks for the chapter
Danielle
This is hilarious, but I hope we get a little more of the gods interacting with Ocean Song, and I especially hope that the eastern pantheons carry the news of this weird cultivator cyclops to Sun Wukong
Sksk4128
Ocean Song the master of the unintentional backhanded compliments
Banat
Also for thanks for making colection for it
krn
Okay but omake with them two meeting WHEN!?
Banat
I like the chapter and the reordering of the chapter releases
Mathieu Toulet
Great chapter
billy oikonomou
The omniverse is not made to withstand that leve of chaos. It would collapse under it's own weight plus the fates would probably just resign at that point.
Colin Hilterhaus
Can you do 2 chapters per week
Redwing641
Bonus chapter drop when😆
billy oikonomou
He did live it for a while when he was humbling Nuwa's subordinate but yeah that was too short to really enjoy.
oscar enrique sampedro lopez
Hahaha 😆
Kz3838
Thank you for the great chapter, love how you wrote the interactions between Ocean Song and the gods here. Stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
Bishop7053
Wil would be so jealous of Song being able to live out his cultivator dreams while he was denied it
Southmonk
That's whats interesting, I remember someone said that he is making his own new path and the Chinese pantheon doesn't cultivate like that...?
Rake1810
Hilarious, really curious which panethons showed up
Javier U Besa
I love this, so damn much. Truly the saying that fate favors idiots and children applies well here doubly so for our hero
George Wright
All according to KEIKAKU
George Wright
All according to KEIKAKU
George Wright
All according to KEIKAKU
George Wright
All according to KEIKAKU
Vicente Huerta
This himbo cyclops is both too smart and too dumb for his own good
George Wright
I humbly request that at some point you have Ocean Song and Wilhelm meet for the lulz
That Warden
Truly his level on boot liking is unmatched lol
Roughstar333
Truly an idiot savant, Ocean song is
JustBeatMeWithAChair
Hades this entire chapter: If I didn't know you're an idiot I would assume you're fucking with me and honestly I hold doubts about the idiot part
Dericof D
The poor kids are about to get an express class in divine politics and bullshiting your way out of problems
Iarthadnor
O.S.: "Honoured Uncle, You are truely lucky to be born a handsome baby and not as ugly as Lord of the Sky to be mistaken with a rock. Truely a divine karma of being robbed of Your birthright as Eldest Son - no need to involve Yourself with that headache" Hades, considering: "You know, you're not entirely wrong...."
Monzter E
Hahahahaahahhahahahahahahhahahaah
Wrathkal
So it's a(n unintentional) distraction of the Olympians from his continued survival, and involvement in the destruction of the Lotus Casino? Such foresight is truly the mark of an exceptional cultivator, as expected of Ocean Song!
Selacha
Yes. All of the yes. I love picturing Ocean Song with a horde of little Demigods following him around like ducklings, shouting about ascending the Heavens. Idle curiosity, would Ganesha or whichever Kami is there recognize the whole Cultivation thing, since they neighbor the regions for the Chinese pantheon? Or do they stay out of each other's way enough that they don't get it?
Ravioli Stromboli
Ocean song becoming the best supernatural emissary of foreign affairs. Truly, he is the best cultivator
Sleepy Dragon
I find the fact that Ocean Song could probably set up a union if somehow prompted an integral part of his character that I will cherish forever. God I love your work
Orchamus
Your username is awesome 👍🏼
Orchamus
Ocean Song is a cyclops of many talents
Anubis
W story
Adam Daw
I love our Cyclops boy.
loyd
Love it great chapter
blake anderson
That so funny. If he weren't an idiot he would be trolling Hades considering how much multiple depictions of him want to have a seat.
Tyler Tate
Ocean Song is the best kind of idiot and I love him.
Ancalagon
He truly is the most honored one
Lictor Magnus
Thank you for the chapter. I really look forward to these now that they’re a weekly thing.
Rabbit of Caerbannog
Thanks for the chapter
WhiteMage Goose
Take your time. This is PLENTY entertaining for me.
Peter K
I love how well you're straddling the line between Ocean Song grasping self-improvement with his own two hands and Ocean Song stumbling ass-backwards into success like some kind of idiot savant
AStoryForOne
I'm actually working on it atm.
ᛚᛟᚱᛞ ᛗᛁᛊᛏᚠᛁᚱᛖ
When is the update for the main story?
