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Monster? No, I'm a Cultivator! (Percy Jackson): Chapter 52
🕑 Added 2025-09-29 06:20:54 +0000 UTCThere was nothing graceful about the arrival of the Queen of Gods.
Nor was it…expected.
It was rare, even at the worst of times, for a god to directly appear like this. Even Zeus would have waited for the questers to ‘return’ his Lightning Bolt had it been ‘found’ and acknowledged by everyone.
But Hera came in like a godly wrecking ball.
Both Ocean Song and Ares were knocked off their feet as she landed between them, having shot to their location all the way from Olympus.
“M-Mother!?” Ares blurted out with clear fear in his voice.
There was a beat of silence as the dust settled and the Queen of Gods stood there between them both. The two who had been fighting ruthlessly were now barely even able to stand up themselves.
“There he is; that’s the person who stole your tree!” Ocean Song immediately pointed at Ares.
Oddly, the God of War shot Ocean Song a betrayed look.
“Ares.” Hera’s voice was calm, far too calm.
The God of War gulped audibly.
“He’s lying.” He said, with the literal tree pressed down on top of him.
“He also stole Uncle’s Lightning Bolt and Uncle Hades’ Helm of Darkness.” Ocean Song held up the two items.
Hera’s head snapped towards Ocean Song, mostly because she didn’t know about the Helm of Darkness.
“He’s lying; look, he’s holding them. He’s trying to blame me!” Ares quickly made up a lie to defend himself.
Hera frowned, looking between Ares and Ocean Song.
“How despicable, trying to blame an infant.” The Cyclops spat back.
“Infant!? You’re—”
“I was born within the last few months.”
Ares’ jaw hung open in confusion.
Hera, to her credit, also did a double take, looking at him. And with her Domain of Childbirth, she could see that he, in fact, was born within the last year. Which was also rather startling for her.
Ocean Song recognized the precarious situation.
It was life or death.
Despite doing his best, he knew that she would be less likely to believe him, a mere Cyclops, over a god, and subsequently, her child.
Therefore, he was going to invoke his final trump card.
True cultivators have no shame!
Ocean Song plopped down on his butt and immediately started crying. “Daaaaaaaaaaad!”
Once more, Ares’ jaw hung open wide as he stared at the person who had been fighting him to the death just moments ago. Somewhat successful, too, in his opinion. It was rare for a ‘mortal’ to put up that kind of fight.
He would have maybe been angrier had he not felt Poseidon’s gaze land right on him.
“He’s trying to frame Percy for stealing all the things to start a war!” Ocean Song pointed at Ares, noticing his father’s direct gaze landing in the area.
“Bullshit—”
“He also called you a slut and said that you had crabs!”
Ares jerked his head because he really didn’t actually say that. “Oh, you motherfucker—”
Before another word could be said, both Ocean Song and Ares felt a firm, and not quite so gentle, hand grab them.
Next thing Ocean Song knew, he was on the marbled floor of Olympus.
He looked up to see all the gods present in the very throne room by which the gods decide the fate of the world.
Ares, however, was not present amongst the gods. In fact, he realized almost immediately that there was a force keeping him from sitting in his own damn chair.
He glanced at his mother, who glared at him, and he understood who was doing it and thus kept his mouth shut.
Without hesitation, and without a single beat passing, Ocean Song was already on his feet, hands clasped behind his back, bowing towards them. “Greetings to the righteous gods of Olympus. This lowly Cyclops is unworthy to stand in the presence of this august assembly, but I am honored nonetheless.”
Ares’ eyes dilated slightly as he stared at Ocean Song again, being once more taken off guard by how utterly shameless he was being. Literally crying for his dad a moment before, now he stood there, beaten and bloodied, but looking heroic and regal.
Ironically, Ocean Song’s words hit a certain chord with the gathering of gods. They always liked it when ‘mortals knew their place.’
His immediate show of bowing and polite greetings won over their initial neutral perceptions rather quickly.
“Enough.” Zeus waved his hand, calling the meeting to order. “Ares, what did you do?” His eyes narrowed at his son.
The evidence, of course, was brought along.
The Tree was sitting there on the marbled floor, along with the Lightning Bolt and the Helm of Darkness.
The latter of which was not lost on the assembled gods.
“I didn’t steal them!”
Before anyone could respond to his denial, the room was filled with an eerie darkness.
“Brother.” Zeus’s words, light in delivery, were once more accompanied by a faint booming behind them.
“Zeus.” Hades greeted back; the God of the Underworld stepped upon Olympus. “I’ve come for my helmet.”
“Your helmet.” The King of God’s eyes narrowed. “Why is it that you never reported your Symbol stolen, brother?”
“Since when do I have to explain my actions to you?” Hades scoffed, and everyone could feel the tension build up.
Immediately, Zeus’ paranoia was getting the better of him; he already was thinking of many different scenarios in the back of his mind that had his brother in an unfavorable light.
“If I may speak, oh righteous King of Gods?” Ocean Song’s voice carried between the tension in the air.
All eyes landed on Ocean Song.
Ocean Song cleared his throat. “This lowly Cyclops dares not speak out of turn, but I wish to convey important information related to the discussion.”
“Let him speak.” Hera said firmly.
Zeus frowned but gestured for him to continue.
“I was sent on a mission to retrieve Uncle Hades’ Helm of Darkness and the stolen items.” Ocean Song said quickly, making Hades blink.
He paused for a moment before continuing.
“Uncle Hades, seeing the tension brought about by the missing Lightning Bolt, feared the growing unease between family after having discovered his own symbol stolen. He didn’t believe that my father, Poseidon, was the thief, and thus he sent me to find the culprit and return the stolen property.”
Hades, for his credit, didn’t immediately call Ocean Song out on his bullshit.
“Uncle Hades said that he didn’t want to see his brothers fighting, so he made his own arrangement.” He finished.
There was a moment of silence as the King of Gods scrutinized him. Likewise, Poseidon wasn’t really buying it either.
“It’s a warming thought. But evidence is required to back such claims.” Athena spoke up.
There was a round of nods.
“I swear on the River Styx that Uncle Hades sent me on a mission, and he told me to retrieve the stolen items.” Ocean Song declared, and a boom was heard about them. “I invite the Great Goddess Styx to proclaim my truth or deceit.”
Before anyone could raise a voice, the Goddess Styx’s voice was heard all around them.
“Truth.”
It was a single word, but it carried with it an undeniability.
It certainly startled the gods there, especially with what happened earlier regarding Styx. No one wanted to call her out or question her.
Among the gods present, only Athena picked up on the nuance, raising an eyebrow as she looked at him.
The others, distracted enough by everything around them, seemed to focus almost entirely on the contents beforehand.
“Brother…” Zeus said with a strange softness to them. “It seems I misjudged you. I…apologize.”
Hades took a moment to stop staring at Ocean Song as he realized that technically everything he said wasn’t wrong. He did send him on a mission; he did tell him, if vaguely, to retrieve his stolen helmet if possible. And he also said some vague thing about not wanting his brothers to fight because it was annoying.
“...yes, well.” Hades coughed awkwardly, knowing when to take a win when it’s given. “It has been chaotic recently.”
“I believe it’s clear that my son isn’t to blame then.” Poseidon took the opportunity to help as well. “With Hades’ admission, he was crucial in retrieving the stolen items.”
And it certainly sounded factual.
“Are you seriously going to believe a monster over me!?” Ares shouted.
That did snap some of them back to their senses a bit. It was hard for them to believe a monster over one of their own. Pridefully, it would be putting a monster’s word over that of a god.
“Fellow Daoist, there’s an easy way to solve this dilemma. Simply give an oath that you stole no items and have no intention of framing others for the stolen items.” Ocean Song pointed out.
“.....”
Ares, unsurprisingly, didn’t have much of a rebuttal for that, which was noted by those around them.
“Ares.” Hera’s eyes narrowed.
“I too would like to hear you say that you had no hand in stealing my symbol, nephew.” Hades added.
Ocean Song realized it was the perfect time to play his final card, seeing that Ares was stumbling here. “If I may speak again, Great Gods?”
At this point, they were much more open to him speaking in their presence without invitation.
“Speak, son.” Poseidon answered this time. “You have something else to add?”
“Yes, Father. You see, it wasn’t coincidence I happened upon the Thief at that moment. I came because I saw Percy and Tyson being bullied, along with a child of Athena and Hermes. I, of course, did my best to rescue them. They can corroborate my claims that Ares attempted to frame them for the theft in order to start a war.”
Ares’ eyes widened, and he looked like he wanted to tackle the Cyclops, but a quick clank of Poseidon’s trident caused Ares to get swept up by a wave of water and thrown onto his chair, unable to move.
“That sounds like a wonderful idea, son. Now, where—"
Before he could finish, Hera disappeared in a flash, and a moment later, Percy, Tyson, Annabeth, Lyra, and Luke were unceremoniously plopped onto the floor.
“They’re present.” Hera said calmly.
In a different situation, they may have chided her for her ‘direct’ intervention, but all the gods held their tongues. They were already happy that Hera wasn’t having another tantrum at the moment.
“Who!?”
“The hell?”
“Ow….”
“Mr. Ocean!” Lyra ran up to hug Ocean Song before realizing what was happening.
Ocean Song, of course, held her happily as the others gained their bearings.
“Silence!” Zeus didn’t want to hear their prattling.
All the kids immediately shivered in fear as they gazed around.
“You have been summoned before the gods to explain yourselves.” Zeus cut right to the point.
“Give them a chance to catch their breaths, Zeus.” Poseidon interjected. “Apollo, can you heal them, please?”
All of them could see that they weren’t in the best shape.
“...am I allowed?” He looked around, because this wasn’t exactly something they gave a free pass to.
“Hurry up.” Hera answered before Zeus could, but he didn’t argue with her.
Athena cleared her throat. “They should be…presentable before the gods.” She gave a quick reasoning so as not to make things awkward in the future.
Apollo just nodded, using his domain of healing to quickly mend them back to their normal states.
“Fine, now explain.” Zeus demanded. “What occurred with Ares and the stolen items?”
“Um…” Percy looked between them awkwardly. “He attacked us out of nowhere and said he wanted to give us the bag of stolen stuff so he could get out of trouble?”
If Ares could speak right now, he would be shouting in his defense. But a rope of water was currently wrapped tightly around his mouth.
Poseidon was not happy about the way Ares treated his sons, and while he couldn’t do anything particularly egregious, this was something he could get away with.
“Daughter.” Athena spoke up.
“M-Mom?” Annabeth whispered.
“You as well, explain what happened.”
“We were driving westward when we were attacked. We were brought to a park, unconscious, and that's when we met….” She glanced at Ares, and Athena just nodded, not needing her to elaborate there. “Percy said the truth. He wanted us to take the blame, and he mentioned that he wanted Percy specifically to be holding the stolen items because he hoped it would start a war because of who Percy’s father is.”
A lot of eyes in the room looked over at Ares.
Both Malcolm and Luke just nodded along, agreeing with her.
At this point, all evidence pointed at Ares quite explicitly.
Ares, in his anger, flared his power and ripped apart the watery bindings. “I did not steal your damn tree, Mom!” He shouted, making the whole mountain vibrate. “Fine, I had the stupid Lightning Bolt and Helmet, but I didn’t steal your tree!”
Truthfully, they never actually expected Ares to even admit that much.
And it was enough of a shock that they were now looking back at the kids.
Ares held up a hand, pointing at Ocean Song. “That brat right there, his pet fish or whatever just dropped the damn thing on me out of nowhere!”
Hera’s icy gaze once more landed on Ocean Song.
And once more, the entire room became eerily silent.
“I swear on the River Styx that I did not steal the Tree, and I don’t know how the Tree was stolen, and I had no hand in the Tree being stolen.” Ocean Song said with a completely straight face.
Another boom overhead indicated the oath was accepted.
And just as quickly, they heard the familiar goddess’ voice.
“Truth.”
Ares’ jaw slowly opened. “You—”
A large hand came flying downwards at him, smacking him through his throne and through the floor, out of the mountain itself.
The gods all watched as Hera smacked Ares across the country.
She gently got up from her own throne. “Please excuse me for a moment; I must go discipline my son.” She said as she disappeared.
At this point, all the gods in the room now fully believed Ares was responsible.
All of them were not at all suspecting Ocean Song with his very detailed oath and confirmation by Goddess Styx.
All the gods except for one.
Hestia, who was tending to the Hearth, gave him the flattest look possible without saying anything.
Ocean Song pretended not to see anything.
Instead, he let what remained of his robes billow heroically, in triumph.
For he had invoked the most important tool of any true cultivator.
Bullshitting.
@***@
A/N
And like that, the Lightning Thief ends, probably, somehow. And there are absolutely no loose ends, none whatsoever.
Comments
Noiz
No next chapter yet?
Monzter E
Where is Malcolm?
GodOfDestruction 2.4
AMAZING
Seiden Kyoukai
BAWHOOO!
