AStoryForOne
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Chapter 591
🕑 Added 2025-11-26 07:08:26 +0000 UTCScáthach POV
“This can’t be allowed to continue!”
My foolish student slammed his hand on the table.
“Aye, someone take Aela to her bed; she’s out cold.” The one named Skjor commanded.
A few of the members here hefted her up off her seat and carried her downstairs.
“Well, who else?” I set my empty mug on the table.
That foolish girl named Aela thought she could outdrink me and called me a milk drinker.
“Thorum, you go up.” My student nudged his friend.
There was a round of encouragement.
“...My stomach hurts.” He backed away.
“You fight dragons.” He nudged him again. “You’re the Dragonborn. You have the soul of a dragon. A child of Akatosh, you eat dragons for breakfast!”
“Dragonborn!”
“Dragonborn!”
“Dragonborn!”
They started to chant.
“Aye, I will fight dragons. I will fight any monsters in Skyrim without fear!” Thorum said heroically. “I will charge at any foe!”
“A true Nord!”
“Go, Thorum!”
Except, he didn’t move.
“But…she scares me.” Thorum backed away.
They all laughed joyfully.
But it is strange.
Since when did my stupid student have such a wise friend? Or perhaps it was the five other men passed out across the room who had challenged me thus far.
“Come here, my student. I believe it is customary for a victor such as myself to have a fair and delicate beauty on their arm, is it not?” I said playfully.
There was a brief moment of silence before someone pushed him forward and they all began to laugh again.
I happily grabbed him and pulled him into my grasp.
I couldn’t help myself.
He was still that same adorable boy who appeared before me all that time ago in the Land of Shadows.
And these people are good for him.
They treat him as a normal person; it’s good to keep him grounded.
I will make an effort in the future to drag him here more often for his own benefit.
“Does anyone else dare challenge me, or do you all acknowledge the Lord of Spirits?” I swept my gaze around.
Amidst the chuckles and good-natured jabs, they all seemed content to idle away the night without further challenge.
“You haven't won yet.” My student pulled away from me, but he nearly fell over himself, only catching himself on the table just barely. “I’ll bring in my friend, and he’ll show you.”
He used his magic to move somewhere else, disappearing from the room.
Perhaps I should make it a rule for him that he is not allowed to use his magic to go elsewhere while drunk, unless it is to go home.
“...Is he coming back?” My student’s friend asked.
“There is a chance that he got himself into trouble.” I said honestly.
Thankfully, he reappeared a few moments later, hastily as well. His hair looked a bit more disheveled this time.
And…
"...student, why do you carry a Phoenix?" I could recognize the legendary bird at a glance; its presence left it hard to mistake it for anything other than its namesake.
“This is Fawkes; he’ll be your opponent.”
It wasn’t just me; the others in the room seemed to believe that my student had far too much to drink at this point.
I questioned where he found such a legendary bird, but knowing my student, his answer would elicit the need to give him a firm beating.
“Let us retire for the evening, my—” Before I could finish, the bird hopped out of his hands and onto the table.
It grabbed a bottle of mead with its beak and tilted it up until it drank down every drop under the silent and gob smacked gaze of every person in the room.
It then unceremoniously tossed the bottle to the side and spread its wings out as if asking if I dared challenge it.
“I stand corrected.” I said, sitting back down. “Another round of drinks.”
And a renewed vigor resounded in the hall.
@***@
I let out a sigh as I carried my drunken student in my arms.
“You should be grateful, you foolish boy. Even if it were Setanta, I would have left him face down in the mud. This is a show of my affections for you.”
I knew he couldn’t hear me; he had gone limp and fallen asleep some time ago as I carried him up the wooden stairs of the local tavern.
Where he found a legendary bird that could nearly match me in drinking, I can’t fathom.
I pinched his sleeping cheek. “You are lucky that I find that mischievous side of you just as endearing as your other points.”
What a silly boy.
I opened the door to the room I had rented for the night.
It was nostalgic, as was this entire realm.
Candlelight lit the wooden walls. Furs and stuffed feather bedding lay across uncomfortable wooden logs that made the bed.
A small fireplace nearby to ward off the cold.
I gently placed him onto the bed, helping him out of the outermost layer of his clothing so he would be more comfortable in his sleep.
“His sleeping face is cute, is it not?” I said out loud.
I had noticed her presence as I arrived.
The Goddess of Light native to this land had appeared in the room. Rather, a small piece of her had appeared here.
Silently, she moved to sit at the edge of the bed next to him, putting a gentle hand through his hair.
“Yes.” She said softly. “It’s a contrast to his usual arrogant and perverted self.”
Her scolding didn’t match her true feelings. That was obvious enough to tell.
“You indulge him too much.” I responded.
“He is the only one I will ever indulge,” she replied bluntly. “I would rather do it too much now than to think it was not enough far into the future.”
So similar to me, yet so different.
“If you only think of the future, you will miss the small joys of the present. That is where true regret lies when you sit alone and think of the past.” I felt wistful as I recalled my own tortured time spent all alone.
The regrets are the greatest pain; that is what I learned in my immortal existence.
“You really love him.” She stated.
“Yes.” I responded without hesitation. “This Scathach’s heart fully belongs to him. From the arrogant little shite to the warm and kindhearted boy to the bloodied warrior. I will gladly give him my everything.”
“Children?” She asked, oddly curious.
I nodded without a second thought. “When he is ready, I will wed him, and we will have children together.”
“When is…ready?” She asked.
She wasn’t asking for me, but for herself. How strange it is to have such an ancient being, yet one so ignorant about such things.
“When he finally slows down. He is young, so very young.” I too ran a hand through his hair. “Let him have his fun, let him get into trouble, let him be the trouble.” I smiled faintly at his sleeping face. “Then, when he feels that he has experienced the fruits of freedom and adventure, we will make him a husband and a father, and then we will help him experience the joys of peace.”
“It sounds simple.”
“He is a simple man.” I stood up and began to take off my clothing. “Come, you take one side, and I will take the other. Let him wake up next morn under our shared warmth.”
She didn’t argue with me as I climbed into the bed with him.
It was large enough for all three of us.
I was aware she didn’t require sleep, but I believe she enjoyed the closeness nonetheless.
@***@
Artoria Pendragon POV
Darn It—I know it was Jinn who did this.
She did it just to spite me, a jest at my expense.
I anticipated that she was waiting for me to make a fool of myself so she could laugh at me.
I will have vengeance.
But I was still in a particular predicament.
Avalon will have to assist me.
Come, my sacred Sheath.
“...What are you doing?”
I turned to look at Rin, who was sitting in the threshold of the kitchen. “I am…nothing.”
“Are you seriously using your sheath to nudge the cookie jar towards you?” She asked.
“...Jinn put it out of my reach intentionally.” I hid my sheath behind my back. “If you assist…I will share the bounty with you.”
Rin snorted and walked over. “I’m not exactly the tallest myself.” She nudged me off the chair I was standing on. “Hand it over; I’ll get it down. She really hid it on the back of the fridge.” Rin took Avalon from me and managed to push the cookie jar towards the edge and get it down.
My prize at last. “Thank you, Rin.” I smiled happily.
She reached into the container and took one for herself. “Goddamn, these are good.”
I just nodded. “Raikou made them; she has become very good at cooking and baking.”
Both Rin and I felt it at the same time.
Wilhelm came home.
The distinct breath of Magic that was felt through the house.
I felt like he was in the living room.
I peeked around the corner to see him sitting with Mordred on the couch in front of the television.
Rin also peeked with me.
“How have you been, Mordred?”
“Still kind of happy to hear that Mom was kicked off a train.” She shrugged.
Mordred…at least don’t say it out loud.
“Speaking of, want to hear the whole thing?” He asked.
“Nah, I’m in a good mood. I know whatever I hear will piss me off, so I’ll wait until later with Father.”
Wilhelm shrugged this time.
“Hey, I got something for you.”
“Snacks?” She perked up.
I too hope it is snacks.
“I was having some smith work done and had some leftover materials.” He took out what looked like a dagger. “It’s yours if you want it.”
She looked confused as she took it from him. “A dagger?” She muttered, pulling it out of its sheath. “Huh, looks fancy.”
“It’s made from a metal called Vibranium. Basically, it absorbs kinetic force, and it’s magic resistant. So, with enough force, you can probably stab mages through defensive spells. Or surprise them by throwing it at their faces.”
Mordred snorted. “Shit, that sounds really expensive. Seriously, you’re just giving this to me? Why?”
Wilhelm shrugged again. “I thought it would make you happy.”
Mordred paused, looking at him strangely. “...seriously?”
Wilhelm looked confused this time, then it seemed like realization dawned on him. “Mordred. I’m not actually trying to be a parent to you. We both know that’s definitely not something you want or need. Jokes about being your mom aside. But I care about the relationship we have, and I will do my best to take care of you.”
Mordred stared at him silently, seemingly not knowing what to say.
“If things continue as they are, one day I’ll marry Artoria. I will spend my entire life with her. That means we’re family.” He smiled.
I could feel my heart flutter.
Mordred became flustered.
“Idiot.” She huffed indignantly.
And she…
Oh my.
I didn’t expect she would hug him.
It was quick, barely a beat; if I blinked, I think I would have missed it.
I pulled back into the kitchen and felt a little guilty for spying on them.
“You know, I can understand why you like Schweinorg. I mean, objectively speaking, it’s hard to say he isn’t handsome. He’s rich. He’s powerful. From a Magus perspective, he has a very old bloodline there too. Granted, he isn’t really my type for other reasons. But I think I swooned a little bit there.” Rin said rather plainly.
But I think she was just teasing me.
“I dare say you prefer silver hair and an ample bosom.” I responded.
“Ah~ you bitch.” She huffed, her face turning a slight red.
“Rin, I have a strange feeling in my chest.” I told her, ignoring her vulgarity.
She raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure it’s not between your legs?”
“That depends. What does it mean when you desire to have children with someone?” I tilted my head.
“Oh my god, you’re such a pervert now.” She flushed a bit more.
I just smiled.
“God, he would be a good father though.” Rin clicked her tongue.
Yes, he most certainly would.
Perhaps it is time to take a step towards that sooner rather than later.
@***@
Wilhelm POV
“You look like you did not sleep well.”
I looked up to see Artoria walking towards me.
“What gave it away?” I grunted, laying my head against the tree in the front yard. I couldn’t help but let out a yawn. “I don’t seem to have good sleep after a long night of drinking.”
She smoothed out her skirt and knelt next to me. I was a little surprised that she leaned in and kissed me without a warning.
Not that I would ever be unhappy about it.
“At least you seem to be in a good mood.”
“Yes, I suppose I am.” She smiled beautifully. “Do you have any plans today?”
“Unfortunately.” I grunted.
“Hmm, if it is something you dislike, shall I accompany you?”
I wouldn’t say no, but you may not want to come with. I scrunched my nose before letting out a sigh. “I was going to…visit my old school.”
She paused. “Is that so?”
“What?”
“I have faith you will not try to blow it up.”
“Where did that come from?”
“I was simply reaffirming my faith in you.” She said innocently.
I pinched her cheek as she puffed up cutely. “I was going to give Venelana’s daughter a few potions. She had that whole rating game thing coming up. Venelana asked me for them, but I figured it would be a nice way to…apologize for the way I treated them the last time we met.”
“I am aware. We have spoken about it, and she keeps us informed of what’s going on with things she is knowledgeable about.” Artoria nodded. “I think it is very mature of you to take this matter upon yourself. I know that Venelana will be very happy that you did so.”
“Are you still willing to come with me then?” I lifted up the back of her skirt.
Pink today.
Her lips twitched, and she playfully poked at my chest. “I will of course accompany you, Wilhelm.”
“Well, there’s no time like the present.” I stood up, taking out my phone to check the time. “School should have ended a little bit ago, which means they will most likely be at their little club.”
I had the vague recollections of their ‘Occult Research Club.’
A bit on the nose considering everything, but who am I to judge there? My goblin sword is named Greed; I don’t think I have any room to talk.
I jumped to my feet and lightly smacked my cheeks. “Alright, let’s go.” I took her hand and opened a quick portal.
@***@
Truthfully, I think I was abrupt about it because if I gave myself time to mull it over, I would make an excuse so I didn’t have to come back here.
I had very few good memories about this place.
“You did not just magically display us in public, did you?” Artoria asked as students walked by.
“Nope, don’t worry. I’ve gotten pretty good at casting illusions around myself without triggering my own magic resistance.”
However, I didn’t tell her that I made us both look like a certain cat girl to anyone with a smidgen of supernatural senses that could see through the surface illusion.
“This is where you attended your studies.” She looked around curiously. “It does not appear to be a bad institution for learning.”
“No, on a fundamental level, it’s one of the best schools in the country.” I would freely admit that. “I’m just not a big fan of the people.”
She grabbed my hand, and it helped me calm down a bit.
Being here brought up some weird anxiety in me that I hadn’t felt in a while. I had a feeling that I was going to be waking up in a cold sweat in the future thinking I forgot to do certain schoolwork and it was due that morning.
I didn’t intend to take a trip down memory lane here.
I kind of just wanted to get this over with and leave.
My nostalgia for this place was minimal at the moment.
Going inside, it's like my instincts took over. I could navigate the halls with my eyes closed from how many years I spent in this place.
Thankfully, the Occult Research Club room wasn’t very far away.
And perhaps, I moved with too much haste.
The door to the club room wasn’t even locked, so I guessed there were people inside. Well, it’s not like I’m exactly shy; I just barged right in.
There was only one person inside.
“Well, this is awkward.” I looked at the cat girl that we looked similar to right now. “If I say we’re your long-lost twins, will you believe it?”
“Wouldn’t it be triplets?” Koneko tilted her head.
I pondered that.
Would the vernacular be triplets?
‘We’re your long-lost triplets?’
That just sounds weird.
“I can smell you, you know.” She spoke up again. “I know who you are.”
“Bribe?” I asked.
“Offer?” she replied immediately.
Hmm.
“Would you like some cookies?” Artoria offered, to my surprise. She doesn’t usually play along, though I guess it’s harmless.
She held out a small container of…were those the cookies Raikou made?
“Accepted.” Koneko took them with a blank look on her face, scooting over from where she sat on the couch in the room so I and Artoria joined her.
This was a weird greeting, but who cares?
“Shit.”
“What?” Artoria looked at me.
“I forgot to send Fawkes back home.”
“...Who?” She blinked.
Welp, I guess I’ll deal with that later, because I heard people approaching, and the door swung open again.
It was the rest of their little group.
Rias, Issei, Akeno, and Kiba.
They sort of froze as they saw three ‘Konekos’ all sitting together in the room.
“Ara Ara, Koneko. I didn’t know you had more siblings.” Akeno looked at us.
Though, by the way she wasn’t freaking out, I presume she wasn’t assuming the worst.
I made the illusion look the same as her as well. The deadpan, blank look as she ate a cookie—both Artoria and I were a near-perfect copy.
“Oh wow, that’s…weird.” Issei commented.
“Koneko…who are your friends?” Rias asked.
I stood up. “I’m your fairy godmother; I’m here to help you win your rating game.” I declared.
There was a beat of silence as she studied me for a moment.
“...Alright, how are you going to do that?”
Huh, didn’t expect her to just accept it so easily.
But I came prepared.
Venelana wanted healing potions!?
I got something better.
I slapped a heavy container on the table in front of me and flipped the lid open.
“The Anzio Anti-Material Sniper Rifle! It fires 20x102 mm rounds at 1006 meters per second! Capable of piercing through armored vehicles, both aerial and ground! Weighing over 59 kilograms with a length of two meters. Capable of exploding heads at over 5000 meters!”
The table collapsed under the weight.
But they just stared at the gun—more like a cannon—that was placed in front of them.
I definitely didn’t steal it.
And no one can prove it, especially Shield.
“I want it.” Koneko said bluntly.
“You’re goddamn right you do.” I tossed it to the tiny girl, who casually lifted it up with one hand.
And just like that, I saved the Rating Game.
I’m sure Venelana will be ecstatic.
I didn’t steal it.
And no one can prove otherwise.
@***@
A/N
Wilhelm: Guns solve all your problems.
Comments
Corvo
THIS! IS! A! MASTERPIECE1
ChanceOfFoxin
OMG that's amazing
Icarae
It's the entire old school building which they live in right?
Darth Bayes
I think the ORC canonically has an on-grounds mansion rather than a club room? Which is both crazy and on-brand.
Orchamus
Arturia, I loved the Koneko cannon but Arturia using Avalon in such a way was soul healing adorable
Orchamus
It is always nice to get to read happy life Arturia
Orchamus
Or a Kunou chapter where he left a note and then goes and asks Kunou or Medea at Breakfast of she might know where Fawkes is😂
ismail abdelazim
Rias: We need to beat this magical immortal of legend. Willhem: have you tried gun?
savitar
To be accused of stealing something, it has to be proven. Let's be honest, to be Father Willhelm material, he just has to remember his childhood and say, "That's not going to happen." Ketchup-head screwed up big time in that regard. Thorum is wise; we must remember that Scátach is Scottish, and what are Scots good at? Fighting, sex, and drinking liquor.
Cruthaitheoir
You want healing? Nah. Here’s a rifle capable of disabling tanks. Good luck! Love it!
Jared K
I hope a future Kunou chapter involves Wilhelm just randomly barging into Dumbledore's office during a meeting to nab Fawkes.
Raibeart TReiss
NekoArtoria is life :3
FREEKYfreak
Getting major hellsing flashback at the end there lol
Mustafa
I wonder if those rib bullets would permanently disable a devils powers?
TheXinoz
Minor nitpicky correction, but its Anti MateriEl, not Anti MateriAl when it comes to rifles.
:Dan the archer
Can't wait for the next part
Sage Berthelsen
Ah America!
Deep sea enjoyer
Seras Victoria: who stole my gun
oscar enrique sampedro lopez
hahha of course the loli wants the big cannon
eevin1
time for babys?
ArgoDevilian
Bitches love cannons
Dr. Eggman
The way you write Artoria is just *chef's kiss* the most adorable and the absolute funniest out of the whole cast
Oofster0_0
TFTC
michael stitcher
If they don't solve the problem, you aren't using a big enough gun...
Belly
I can totally see Koneko launching a potion from that gun at Issei from a distance cuz she doesn't want to be near him
Gawain
Gives Gun: “Go do a crime”
Hiram
He finds his way to Meridia somehow and as a creature of light (and friend of Wilhelm) she decides to boost him so he can now travel to Skyrim on his own and be stronger generally. He is now constantly drunk and takes the Nord approach to fixing things through violence.
Mr. Cooki3s
Bitches love cannons
JKG
Practical problems require practical solutions.
Hampus Lundström
This has been such a gremling chapter. Perfect.
LazyBlackberry
BITCHES LOVE CANNONS
Taylor Valentyne
Also, the answer to any problem CAN keyword, CAN be BlackBarrel. I cast, you die, period.
Taylor Valentyne
He isn’t necessarily wrong, after all the more ridiculous a power system gets the funnier it is when someone just pulls out a big gun and shoots you.
Kris
Wilhelm letting out his inner American. Get out of the way guys and gals who knows when the next school shooting is
Crionn
Giving Koneko a cannon was great, but I also enjoyed Scathach acknowledging there’s a nonzero chance of Wilhelm getting into trouble the instant he leaves her sight.
ColcytusRising
Lmao oh no, 5 bucks says fawkes eats a deadra, or makes one his pet. We all know that little shite is a trickster to his core, and a cannon, yepp I can see her swinging that around.
N
With this, Koneko can snipe the entirety of Riser’s peerage before they even know it. Then Rias and her team can just jump Riser lol
Bishop7053
Bitches love cannons. And fawkes is definitely not going to cause trouble in Skyrim till Wil remembers to send him back, much to Dumbles confusion
Enthessi
I’m not sure what I found better, Koneko getting a cannon or Artoria trying to use Avalon to reach the cookie jar.
ninjagutyt23
this is gonna be very funny
LuciferDFallN1
Wil giving away a cannon like gun is such an abridged Alucard thing to do
CkLance
Love to see the Hellsing Abridged references ✋️😂🤚
AwkwardArithmancer
Wilhem: You are now American Koneko
Scott
Lol thanks for chapter. Nice slow fluffy chapter
Antagonistic -writer
Yes the anti aircraft Loli. Jk Anyways hope it’s been enchanted, truly that rating game will be a game for the ages.
Orchamus
I have no doubt Vene will be amused, remember how much they have in common
kijin666
And so do kittens~!
Anubismark
Get that bitch a cannon, BITCHES LOVE CANNONS!
Orchamus
This chapter was absolutely peak. Fawkes dared to challenge the Lord of Spirits!!... and sadly lost. GG Fawkes Also Koneko is best girl is Grenory Peerage. I like Asia, but adorable kuudere for the win
Nazarickk
Thanks for the chapter
Khai Odie
Hope thats a hint that a bit of marvel is in the near future
Khai Odie
+1
willowskeith
America breathing: first form, second amendment.
Tristan R Mitchell
Bitches love cannons. I guess Queens do as well .
NeroSolas
Now we just need gasper to finally go for a WALK, VERY ENTHUSIASTIC WALK.
john the gamer
Bitches love cannons. Thanks for the chapter
NeroSolas
Why can I see koneko with a mini-canon
Lazy Ghost
How American of him. Is it enchanted? Or is Koneko going to just blast him every other second.
willowskeith
Given that this is still early in the series (for dxd and rias) so 'gun' is a good answer. Sadly there wasn't a big tittied police girl to use it, but cute petite cat girl works just as well in a pinch.
Kz3838
Thank you for the great chapter, love that he just gave them an Anti-Thing in that direction Sniper Rifle. Stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
rangleskov
Bitches love Cannons
Seadrake
Valena: "that's not what I meant. Not in any conceivable way."
Joel Perez
Nice
ZaberZ
Bitches love cannons
Holocene
Loved the chapter, the gun reveal made me legitimately giggle.
