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Monster? No, I'm a Cultivator! (Percy Jackson): Chapter 59
🕑 Added 2025-12-02 19:15:31 +0000 UTCOne must know that gods do not move quickly.
Gods perceive the world much differently than mortals. For them, ‘quick’ may be decades down the line.
But like the intelligent species they are, they were also aware of their own ‘differences’ compared to mortals and how they themselves see the world.
That’s why, in this specific case, Poseidon took advantage of his own people’s normal habits and perceptions.
In this rare circumstance, Poseidon moved with a haste that would be acknowledged by the shortest living beings.
The feast that was supposed to happen on Ocean Song’s arrival was cancelled.
Unfortunately, he had other important matters that took priority.
“Father? ”Triton entered the room where Poseidon and his wife stood.
Scattered across the table were maps of the oceans around them.
“Son, good, you’re here.” He smiled, though a tad awkwardly.
He just had a heart-to-heart with his son, prompted by his other foolish son, and he expected them to…well, frankly, be apart for a bit to let things settle.
But now, things happened.
“What’s going on? ” he asked hesitantly. “It looks like we’re going to war in here.”
“You’re not wrong,” Poseidon admitted. “Your mother had a thought before. What happens if your uncle decides again in the future that I did something he didn’t like? Or he makes up another excuse to start a war.”
Triton’s expression changed. He felt the awkwardness between him and his father as he arrived, but that quickly was pushed away by the seriousness of the conversation.
“Zeus is stronger than me,” Poseidon said bluntly.
The admittance took Triton off guard.
He knew better than anyone that his father was a very prideful person.
Amphitrite put a hand on her husband's shoulder.
Poseidon smiled warmly at her but continued. “It’s a fact; I can’t really lie about it. As the King of Gods and God of the Skies, he holds a position above me,” both metaphysically and authoritatively in this regard. “However, the seas are not so easily tamed. They do not flow at the behest of the sky. While Zeus is stronger than me, that doesn’t mean I would necessarily lose to him in a fight. A fight between us wouldn’t be settled in just a few days.”
“You told me before that if you both fought for real, it would take weeks for someone to win.” Triton nodded.
“That’s the case,” Poseidon confirmed. “That’s not considering everything else. Zeus doesn’t just have himself, just as I don’t have just myself. The Forces of Atlantis and the Forces of Olympus that would fall under Zeus’ banner are roughly equal. Purposely on his part. Rather, he has always held a strong grip on how much I’m allowed to…expand my forces.”
This wasn’t new to Triton; it was just never so blatantly laid out before him.
Who would want to admit that they’re being pressured so heavily like this?
Especially a god as prideful as Poseidon.
He would usually rather die than say something like that, even to his own son.
“The obvious question to ask is why doesn’t Zeus just expand his own forces? Recruit more gods, make more monsters, demigods, or heroes.” Amphitrite picked up where Poseidon left off. “He also has to balance against Hades as well.”
“Our elder brother isn’t beholden to the same ‘rules’ as I am with Zeus in this regard. The Skies hold no dominion over the Underworld. If Zeus expands freely, then so will Hades in response. Zeus can’t give Hades that kind of excuse. However, just as that’s the case, the Underworld has its own rules to operate under, which means Zeus is a little bit less cautious towards it than he is against the Oceans.”
All things in the world were balanced.
One might think that armies were irrelevant in the face of gods like Zeus or Poseidon. But there’s a reason that Zeus is so wary of the demigods or other such forces.
Enough ants can even bite an elephant to death.
“What about the other Olympians?” Triton asked. “Some of them would follow along with Zeus.”
“And I have a few that would rally to me too,” Poseidon responded. “But you’re right, Zeus has more sway in that regard. That tilts things in his favor because my fellow Olympians have their own forces they can bring out.”
“I know most of this pop, where are you going with this? ”It was strange to him that his father was explaining this like he was hearing it for the first time.”
“Humor your father.” Poseidon chuckled. “I am the King of the Seas, and you’re my heir. I have many children; I can’t deny that. But only you are the Prince of Atlantis.” He put his hands on Triton’s shoulders. “But I know how that title can carry its own weight. You’ve been a prince for a very long time. So, I think it’s about time you become a king.”
Triton blinked a few times, processing what his father said. “...what? ”
It was a fair reaction to everything he just said.
“I’m not retiring if that’s what you’re thinking.” Poseidon quickly disabused that notion. “But…that doesn’t mean you can’t be a king, son. Why does Atlantis have to be the only city below the tides? ”
Triton looked at his father in confusion still, then looked to his mother for help.
“Husband, just say it plainly; you’re doing a horrible job of explaining it.” She sighed. “What your father wants to say is, we had the idea to build another city, one closer to the surface, a…go-between, so to speak. And a city like that needs its own ruler. Who else could be the king of that territory other than you? ” She put a hand on his cheek, smiling warmly.
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” Amphitrite called out as Ocean Song entered.
Triton, before he could even answer his father, was confused to see his younger brother enter. “I thought you said this was a secret talk? ”
“He’s the one who suggested it in the first place,” his mother answered.
Triton’s mouth opened slightly, looking at Ocean Song.
“Greetings, Senior Brother! ” Ocean Song smiled happily.
Triton recalled the scene of him dragging his father’s toilet across the halls. “...Are you sure it was him? ”
“It surprised us too.” She patted his cheek. “But he was the one who suggested almost everything. Of course we had to work through the …details but found it feasible, desirable even.”
Triton furrowed his brow, looking at the goofy smile on his younger brother’s face.
“King Triton has a good ring to it, doesn’t it, Father? “Ocean Song?” asked.
“It does, doesn’t it? ” Poseidon rubbed his beard. “What do you think? ” he asked, looking at his heir.
“Yeah, I think it does too.” Triton choked a little.
It was a strange feeling; he had swelling in his chest.
Fatherly love was…not uncommon, but before Poseidon was a father, he was a god.
And now, there was a new feeling.
Triton had many brothers and sisters.
He wasn’t oblivious to how much his father got around. Some of them, he acknowledged, and some of them, he didn’t even care to remember their faces.
However, not a single one of them did he consider his brother in a familial sense. Even Ocean Song before, it was more…casual recognition. To him, he approved of Ocean Song knowing his place and didn’t mind having him around, even finding him amusing.
Now, he looked at Ocean Song and felt a brotherly affection he never had before.
Before he knew it, he had wrapped up Ocean Song in a big hug. “From now on, you’re my brother, okay? ”
Ocean Song let out a gargled noise as the strength of a god choked him.
“There’s still a lot of things to handle before we get started.” The queen spoke again. “You’ll also need your own court, trusted people, and to start building your own forces.”
Triton let Ocean Song go. “I’m guessing this is a smoke screen so we can expand without Zeus throwing a fit? ”
“Partially,” Poseidon admitted. “But it’s also for you. We wanted you to know how much we valued you, son. You’re not just a spare or backup in case something happens to me.
“...thanks, pops.” Triton said quietly. “Do I need to be quiet about how I go about it?”
“Both.” Ocean Song spoke up after gasping for breath a couple times. “Recruit a lot, but also try to be sneaky about it too. But don’t actually worry about anyone finding out. Zeus will investigate because he’s too paranoid, so if he sees the ‘secret’ under the surface, that will be enough for him. Then Father can also start secretly expanding too, using you as an excuse or veil to cover it.”
Triton once more did a double take.
“It’s as he says.” The queen nodded. “But we’re not quite ready to begin yet. Your father needs to set the stage for it.” He grabbed her son’s collar, fixing it a little as it was a bit folded. “So, we need you to act like you and your father are having a bit of a spat. Can you do that? ”
“Yeah, it should be easy,” Triton agreed.
“That’s my boy.” She smiled.
“What about the spies? ” Triton asked.
“Spies?” Ocean Song tilted his head. “There are spies here?”
“Of course,” Poseidon answered without seemingly caring. “Do you think Zeus wouldn’t have spies in my court? I have my own spies on Olympus as well. However, there’s only one spy that’s a problem.” Poseidon looked contemplative. “Selkhos is high enough up in position that if I excluded him, it would raise suspicion. And if I killed him outright or dealt with him, Zeus would know I’m up to something.”
Ocean Song understood; it was better to keep a spy you know who was a spy rather than kill him and have an unknown running around.
It was also a matter of if Poseidon just randomly killed one of his trusted men and claimed he was a ‘spy,’ others may not believe it. Then morale could be affected, and it could make a lot of his subordinates question their loyalty if their lives were so easily ‘discarded’ at his whim.
And if Zeus’ spy just ‘suddenly’ disappeared right before something happened in Atlantis, that would be a big red flag that something was going on. At least, if Poseidon was the one to do something.
“Though…if there’s a good reason, and if it was someone…unexpected that dealt with him….” Poseidon looked at Ocean Song, and the others turned to him too.
“I shall go kill him right away, Father! He shall learn the immensity of Heaven and Earth! ”Ocean Song declared.
Poseidon almost immediately regretted even having the thought cross his mind. “Son, being too obvious is…part of the problem. If, if, you do it, it needs to be done in a way that doesn’t make it look intentional. Or at least, in a way that Zeus will believe it was the fault of Selkhos rather than something we did.”
Ocean Song’s eyes lit up. “I have a technique that will work.”
“The sooner the better too,” the queen added. “If it happens almost immediately at his arrival, it will look far less ‘planned.’”
“Father, give me the details of my target! ” Ocean Song said with a serious tone.
Poseidon hesitated for a moment, but after the very strange surge of competency in his youngest son, he decided to trust him. “Selkhos is a Shark Merman. He’s loud and boisterous and likes to overindulge in drinking. He should be with the others at a party right now.”
“A party? ”
Poseidon waved it off. “For lack of a better word. My officials gather together after an important event to discuss things and do their little power plays. It’s a common occurrence.”
He wasn’t like a mortal king who feared his people scheming for power. He let them play their games between themselves.
Ocean Song pondered it for a moment. “Have some of your guards be ready, Father; I will take care of it! ” he proclaimed.
Poseidon hesitantly agreed.
@***@
Ocean Song was on a mission.
One directly given to him by his father.
Atlantis was full of all kinds of creatures.
There were humanoids. In fact, there were even some ‘humans’ in the context of comparing them to everyone else. Humans who had pledged loyalty to the King of the Seas. Humans who had done great deeds and been blessed by Poseidon to serve him eternally.
Just as Zeus had his own immortal humans he kept around for various reasons, so too did the other gods.
But beyond those, there was a colorful array of living beings that called Atlantis home.
One of the most predominant was the Merpeople.
Different from Sirens, Merpeople were generally what humans would think about when you talked about a Mermaid.
Triton was a Merperson.
His mother, an Oceanid, was considered a Merperson.
Despite them being gods, it was their ‘origin.’
It would be like if a dragon became a god; they would still be a dragon. A simple distinction that seemed to carry over, nothing else.
Usually, it meant they took the form of a half-human, half-aquatic creature. Triton, for instance, looked like a traditional mermaid that someone might think of when talking about the legend.
There was another branch that was technically Merpeople. They were the ones that looked more creature than ‘person.’
Rather than being ‘half-human’ in appearance, they were more creature. A Shark person, for instance.
It was a common sight in Atlantis, and there was no overt ‘racism’ towards it either.
Frankly, most Aquatic people didn’t seem to mind it either.
You would see beautiful mermaids married to some odd-looking merpeople just as easily as you would two mermaids.
The last, perhaps at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole, were the sea creatures.
They could even be called monsters.
Intelligent sea life that lived in Atlantis. Or the strange sea creatures that sprang into existence through not-so-normal means.
For instance, the constellation Cancer originated from Karkinos, whom Hercules defeated in his fight against the Hydra.
There were a plethora of intelligent sea creatures, no less than a human, that served in Poseidon’s court.
In equivalence, they’re no different than the Satyrs or spirits or Dryads that do the work in the background on Olympus.
In fact, the general of Poseidon’s navy is a child of Karkinos, a large crab himself. Fully articulate with a well-liked bravado among Poseidon’s court.
It was the brief rundown that Poseidon gave to his newest son.
And with it, he gave him a mission.
That’s why Ocean Song walked the halls of Poseidon’s palace with a certain swagger in his step.
He had prepared long for this moment.
With one hand behind his back and the other holding a fan that he used to gently fan himself.
Ocean Song pushed open two large double doors, revealing a large open interior with plenty of tables, many people, and lots of conversations happening.
The room didn’t go silent on his arrival, but there was definitely a noticeable pause as they all looked his way.
It was by no means a ‘party’ in the normal sense, but perhaps a normal social gathering that happens amongst the upper echelon of Poseidon’s court. It would be more similar to a sort of club or a bar that employees visited after work. Just more…regal and high-society in appearance. A normal occurrence when something particularly important occurs for them to brush elbows in a more casual setting.
Within the court, various factions emerged, and they all vied for power under the God of the Sea, doing their best to become his favored to win his attention.
Frankly, it wasn’t much different than a human court in that regard, other than the fact that no one even dreamed of trying to usurp the throne.
But who didn’t want wealth and status?
For many here, it was the only avenue available to them to achieve these kinds of goals.
Ocean Song unfurled his fan, holding it up to his face.
He found his target easily.
When his father said a ‘Shark Merperson,’ he really undersold it.
It looked like a half-mermaid, half-shark but with more humanoid characteristics in shape. He was loud, loud enough that Ocean Song could hear him from the other side of the room.
And he looked very clearly drunk.
It wasn’t an odd sight within the room; this wasn’t a party or feast arranged by Poseidon, and people were more casual.
It was time to move.
And move, Ocean Song did.
His robes billowed, his hair swayed slightly, and he was the picture-perfect look of elegance.
As the Shark man waved his arms around, happily chatting with some of his peers, as if retelling a compelling story, Ocean Song intentionally stepped forward.
His hand smacked Ocean Song.
Ocean Song threw up a mouthful of blood and went flying into the nearby table, crashing through it and sliding across the ground until he hit another table and the contents spilled on top of him.
The room stopped immediately; everyone went quiet.
Everyone stared at both Ocean Song and the one who ‘caused’ the damage in the first place.
Selkhos was utterly confused; he barely even tapped him. An accident that would have earned a polite apology originally.
“You dare strike this young master!? ” Ocean Song stood up. “Do you know who my father is!? ”
“I—I barely touched you? ”Selkhos was utterly confused and flustered suddenly.
Ocean Song responded by throwing up another mouthful of blood and falling over. “You court death! Guards! ”
Almost immediately, the prearranged guards flooded the room; seeing Poseidon ‘nearly dead,’ they swarmed on the one responsible.
“I didn’t do anything!? “Selkhos shouted as he ‘fought back.’”
But that just meant the Guards attacked him properly.
“You have eyes, but you fail to see Mount Tai! ” Ocean Song threw up another mouthful of blood and passed out.
The Chaos didn’t go unseen.
In fact, Poseidon, Amphitrite, and Triton all were watching from far away.
The three of them stared silently at the passed-out Ocean Song that they had just been praising beforehand.
Poseidon didn’t know how to feel.
On one hand, it would be easy to spread the rumor that Selkhos attacked his son and hurt him without anyone being able to argue because most people weren’t really paying attention, only seeing the proverbial aftermath. On the other hand, he was very embarrassed because he saw all the details from start to finish.
Poseidon let out a very long sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
First his toilet got stolen, and now this.
He was starting to wonder what he did to deserve this.
@***@
A/n
Ocean Song shows off the advanced technique of spitting blood, like a proper cultivator.
Comments
allen pellissery
Update
Ryan
It's so difficult to "write" humor, but being in the spot where I have read wayyyyy too much xianxia while also reading percy jackson growing up it's just perfect
Mathieu Toulet
It s so well thought. People will see someone "legitimately" armed, and knowing how prideful poseidon and his sons are will never imagine it was acting. Especially because they know that ocean song has gone against Zeus and survived. Wait stop. He has gone against Zeus and survived. And he was armed by a normal shark person?????
oscar enrique sampedro lopez
ahahahah. From outside it look completely legit, but seeing it happening gives second-hand embarrassment.
