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Monster? No, I'm a Cultivator! (Percy Jackson): Chapter 35
🕑 Added 2025-05-29 00:49:39 +0000 UTCPercy exhaled slowly, hands on his knees, sweat dripping from his brow. Not from exhaustion—he wasn’t even breathing hard—but from the sheer weirdness of what he’d just done.
He looked up at the crater in the sand, then over to Malcolm, who stood with his arms crossed and a notebook in hand, utterly unfazed.
“That was… what was that?” Percy asked.
Malcolm didn’t look up. “Second level.”
Percy stared at him. “Really? I just felt like a balloon that got too much air in it, and suddenly, a tingling in a weird place.”
“Don’t ask me; I’m still trying to figure this out too.” Malcolm said with a shrug. “Ocean Song said something about the spleen storing ‘lesser essence’ and how once it harmonizes with your kidneys, your internal meridians start realigning. And some vague things about how the body is its own universe, and I sort of lost track after that.”
Percy blinked. “...well alrighty then. That sounds totally reliable. But hey, I trust Pimp Bro.”
“He cut a building-sized monster in half from dozens of yards away with a swing of his sword. I’m also inclined to believe anything he says.” Malcolm said in the tone of someone who had long since accepted the madness.
He finally finished writing in his journal. “Don’t try to understand it. Just keep breathing the way I showed you, focus on whatever part of your body feels warm, and… don’t explode.”
“That’s comforting.”
Malcolm flipped a page in his notes. “Did you tell anyone else yet?”
Percy shook his head. “No. Should I have?”
Malcolm shook his head too, slower. “No. It’s better this way.”
Malcolm was skeptical about camp ever since he arrived. It wasn’t quite the ‘safe haven’ he had been told. Malcolm was a child of Athena; he could see child soldiers being trained in clear view. Child soldiers to throw at whatever conflict the gods deemed acceptable for sacrifices to be made.
That’s why Malcom kept his head down and didn’t show off. His ‘siblings’ barely even knew his name. They knew him as the kid who liked to go hang around the lake and nothing else. That’s what he did almost every day: disappear around the lake. Mostly because it was where he could find some peace and quiet for his own practice.
At least until Percy came along.
Even his mother never bothered to ‘check up on him.’ The only link he had with her was when her symbol appeared above his head when he came into camp.
Not like some of his other siblings who had personally met her.
There was a pause. Percy caught the shift in Malcolm’s tone.
“Camp’s been… weird,” Malcolm said, not elaborating. “People are acting strange. Some of the gods have been paying closer attention than usual. I don’t really trust what’s going on lately.”
“You think they’d do something if they knew?”
“I think they’d treat us as more…useful.” Malcolm said quietly. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be ordered to go fight a legion of monsters or get a lightning bolt to the face as my options.”
Percy looked uneasy. “Do you even know what all this is?” He changed the subject back to the topic of their ‘cultivation.’
“Frankly, I don’t know.” Malcolm pushed up his glasses. “I looked into what I could find, some spare books I could get my hands on or trade for. But even with those, it’s completely foreign to me. But I have a few ideas, I think.”
“Like what?” Percy pulled his shirt up, wiping his forehead.
He felt a lot stronger now that he was in the ‘second stage’ or whatever.
“Alright, imagine this. You’re a demigod, a literal son of a god. You’re half god. That means your body, your soul, your everything is supercharged with godly juice. It’s just that you’re still mortal, so that’s why demigods have to train. You’ve heard the stories of Hercules or Achilles, right?”
“Yeah…?” Percy was still confused but listening.
“Honestly, how does anyone in camp compare to those kinds of legends?”
Percy was quiet for a moment. “Honestly, I don’t know; it seems like a scam if that’s what I would be comparing myself to.”
“Right.” Malcolm nodded along. “Until you consider some other facts. Maybe it’s just a different time; maybe they were just more favored. But the stories we hear are from when Hercules was already an adult, when Achilles was already marching off to war. Percy, how many demigods in our camp are over 18 years old?”
“Uh…..” He blinked again. “I don’t know.”
“Two.” Malcolm answers. “We have two adult demigods in camp, and not because they leave when they’re old enough.”
“...jeez.” Percy muttered.
“Right, so we’re comparing a bunch of kids to the legendary status of adult demigods who had lived for decades. That’s pretty unfair, right? One side has decades of training; the other doesn’t, literally still kids and growing and stuff.”
“You think it’s a training thing?”
“Kinda, maybe a bit. I doubt anyone in camp reached their ‘potential,’ like you could say about some of the old legends. It comes down to training, I think. Like, the older you are, the more you can…. Ocean Song called it refining when he taught me. I think demigods just sort of naturally refine all the godly bits inside of them over time and training. What Ocean Song taught us was to do that more systematically. Anyways, that’s my theory; we’re just skipping over the whole need for decades, facet.”
Percy nodded along, somewhat understanding what was being said. “So… what’s next?”
“Next?” Malcolm thumbed through his notes. “Well, according to the ‘teachings,’ the fourth stage is when you start getting unnatural endurance. Like, he told me that you can go a week without sleeping with minor side effects. He said that it’s the next big upgrade in the ‘Qi Condensation Realm,’ even if each ‘stage’ gives its own boost. I think I’m almost there; I feel like I’m getting close.”
“I feel like I already don’t get tired.”
“You’re a child of Poseidon. You’re cheating.” He deadpanned.
Percy grinned.
Malcolm sighed. “Still, you’re doing better than me. Just don’t force it. Ocean Song said that if you rush it, you might throw up blood.”
“He say why?”
“No. Just that it’s a ‘very advanced technique’ and you’re ‘not ready to look cool yet.’”
There was a beat.
“Maybe it’s something I’ll understand later.” Percy muttered.
They walked back towards camp.
They did have actual training to do. For instance, Percy was learning how to use his sword better, the same with Malcolm.
Though, they did keep things under wraps. Percy’s talent, as he didn’t quite have the same skill at keeping things under the radar, was so far just handwaved as being a son of Poseidon.
However, when they got closer, things were…strange.
There was a crowd, and Percy and Malcolm sort of pushed to the front to see what was going on.
There was a man holding a… zombie-like girl in his arms, shedding some Hollywood-tier tears.
Percy would have nominated him for an Oscar.
Though, it did feel a little sad….
“You’re courting Death!” The zombie girl jerked up, pointing at someone in the crowd.
Percy followed it, and he recognized it as Luke, the head of the Hermes cabin. He heard weird things about him hooking up with a harpy, so they didn’t really interact much.
Luke just looked around confused.
“Uh…what’s going on?” Percy whispered to the person next to him.
It was a girl; Percy recognized her at first glance too. Another of Athena’s kids, the girl who sort of gave him an introduction to camp.
“We don’t know; the Oracle of Delphi usually sits in the attic in the big house… For some reason, she just wandered out here and started shouting random things. Then…Apollo—“ She whispered that last part. “Appeared and started crying at how he broke his Oracle.”
“Holy shit, is she actually a zombie?” Percy asked.
“Junior, you dare!?” The zombie woman jerked her head and threw her hand out, finger pointing at Percy.
Percy felt a weird shiver go down his spine.
“Alright, everyone, that’s enough!” Chiron came trotting over, trying to clear the crowd. “You all have a quest to prepare for!”
Most of them begrudgingly separated, going back to what they were doing.
“...wait, what question?’ Percy asked.
Annabeth looked at him incredulously. “Seriously? Where have you been all day?”
“Uh…down at the late, um…training?”
She just shook her head. “Mr. D announced a new question, specifically handed down by Olympus. The Golden Apple Tree, symbolizing the marriage between the King and Queen of Olympus, was stolen. They’re saying that the entire camp is going to be mobilized to search for it.”
“Like, a whole tree?”
“Yes, the entire tree.”
Percy blinked. “What kind of idiot would steal an entire tree?”
Annabeth just shrugged as they left.
Apollo still shed tears as he held his broken Oracle.
“Lord Apollo, what’s the matter?’ Chiron finally got him to somewhat calm down as the campers scattered.
“I wasn’t getting anything! No prophecy, nada, zilch! And by Father’s hairy chest, I was too damn scared to tell that to Hera.” Apollo sighed.
Chiron cringed, knowing the full story from Dionysus at this point. He gave Apollo a sympathetic shoulder squeeze. “Truly, even you couldn’t enforce any prophecy?”
“Nothing other than a strange whale sound that kept repeating.” Apollo shook his head. “I couldn’t find the damn tree anywhere, Chiron. Did you know that Hera threw a sword at Pop’s balls?”
“...I did not.”
“She didn’t miss.”
Chiron felt a chill down his spine. He sympathized with Apollo quite a bit.
“I tried to see if I could force a prophecy through Good ol’ Delphi here. You know, see if that old Delphi juice might trigger something. Next thing I know, she wandered into camp and started spewing out random nonsense! I broke her!”
“A toad wanting to eat swan meat.” She spoke blankly.
Chiron just nodded, understanding where Apollo was coming from.
Chiron didn’t know what to say; all he could do was silently offer his emotional support to the god.
However, neither he nor Apollo nor anyone else in camp noticed the inconspicuous Raven perched not far away, watching them.
One eye glowed faintly, the image of the Oracle caught within it.
@***@
Ocean Song stood with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Bawhooooo!” Nessie was in a particularly good mood, he noted. Her flippers flapped around happily.
She even dragged her little kiddie pool up into the courtyard to be with everyone.
“Ten thousand more swings, fellow Daoists!” Ocean Song called out.
There was a groan from Medusa; her arms trembled. She was swinging her sword.
“What’s the point of this!? I mastered the use of the sword centuries ago!” Daedalus grunted.
Tyson, however, just did as he was told. However, compared to the other two, he didn’t have a real sword yet. Truthfully, he needed a sword to match his own size. So Ocean Song had just climbed up a tree to make a wood sword for him.
“Sword forms are important!”
“I’ve been doing this for centuries, brat!”
“Can you shoot a dragon with your sword?”
“What? No, what kind of ridiculous question is that!?”
“Then keep swinging, fellow Daoist.” Ocean Song said smugly.
Daedalus scowled and kept swinging his sword.
“Will this actually help?” Medusa asked as she swung her own sword in tandem with the others.
“Yes.”
“How so?” She inquired.
“We’re a sword sect; therefore, you must be a sword cultivator.”
Medusa grumbled and kept swinging.
Though Ocean Song was actually proud of them, not just torturing them for the fun of it. That was just a side bonus, all things being truthful.
They had all entered the first stage of Qi Condensation!
As a sect leader, Ocean Song couldn’t help but be proud.
Truly, he was a masterful cultivator; he was now even helping others onto the path, intentionally.
“Everything is built upon a foundation. Your cultivation base is like a pagoda; if the foundation is unstable, it will topple when you build higher.” Ocean Song continued to disperse wisdom befitting his expertise as a master cultivator. “Don’t just swing your sword; you must harmonize with yourself, the Dao, and the universe.”
They, of course, had no idea what that meant, but Ocean Song was too pleased with himself to take notice of that fact.
“I’m about to harmonize my foot up your—”
“Bawhooo!” Nessie interrupted, sounding the alarm.
Yes, it was different than her normal noises; it was clearly the alarm for an intruder. Ocean Song recognized it immediately.
Ocean Song immediately got serious. “Holy Demonic Demon Sword Sect, prepare for battle!”
“We’re not calling ourselves that.” Medusa deadpanned.
A moment later, someone appeared, and Ocean Song relaxed. “Greetings, Senior Styx, if I knew you would be visiting, I would have shown you proper respect and greeted you at the entrance.” Ocean Song cupped his hands and bowed politely.
The others froze. Well, Daedalus and Medusa froze as soon as she was introduced. They would have had to be fools to not know who Styx was.
The Goddess Styx stood there, looking at everyone.
However, her eyes landed on Nessie. Styx walked up to the Sect Protecting Divine Beast, looking at it strangely.
“Why is it that you have the touch of my waters upon you? I do not recall you ever swimming inside my river.” Styx looked at it.
“Bawhooo!!” Nessie just slapped the water as if meeting an old friend.
Ocean Song blinked in surprise. He mentally praised Nessie for even having swum through the River Styx at some point in the past.
Truly, he had the greeting Sect Protecting Divine Beast.
Styx stared at the creature for a moment and merely shook her head, losing interest. It was clear to her that the beast was a simple-minded thing, so there was no point in pressing.
She cast her gaze across everyone else, losing interest quickly.
“May I ask what brings you here, Senior Great Goddess Styx?” Ocean Song inquired.
“I have an…assignment for you.” She revealed, looking at her champion. “Call it a test.”
Ocean Song perked up. “Who do you need me to beat up?” He asked without hesitation.
Styx was pleasantly surprised. She expected him to argue or try to coax some kind of…compensation, in addition to everything else. But true to his words before, he seemed to be taking responsibility seriously.
Ocean Song didn’t know it, but he had passed the first small test of hers.
“A lesser god dared to swear on my name and break his oath. I want him punished.”
“Oh, what god?”
“Boreas, the god of the North Wind, Storms, Winter, Ice, and Snow.” She responded.
“I shall show him the immensity of heaven and earth, Great Goddess!” Ocean Song saluted. “But how do you wish me to punish him?”
Styx blinked at his proclamation but just shook her head, used to his nonsense at this point. “I will give you an item that carries with it authority to punish in my stead.”
“Oh, can I request its design?”
“...very well.” She replied after a moment of thought that she didn’t really care what shape it came in; she was just going to give him something that allowed him to act in her stead.
“I want a club.” Ocean Song replied without hesitation. “I will name it Repentance.”
“...dare I ask why?”
“Because they’re going to be sorry.”
Styx was initially taken aback by his words. But then, she felt an odd sense of satisfaction at what she was about to unleash upon the world.
She threw her hand out, and a club materialized into the air and dropped into Ocean Song’s hands. It wasn’t a small thing for a god to crystallize part of their domain and power into an object; it could even be seen as an immense sign of trust.
“I want him punished.” Styx reiterated.
“I’ll break his legs.” Ocean Song replied without a second thought.
Styx was about to reply, to correct him that she meant punished in a more metaphysical sense. But she also was rather keen on his enthusiasm.
She wondered if this is how Hades felt.
She had watched him plenty of times, watched how he handled all his subordinates, and watched how he handled all the work he had to do.
Was this what it was like to have someone ‘work’ for her?
Styx felt an odd thrill she had never experienced before.
“Demonic Sword Demon Heavenly Sect, assemble!” Ocean Song shouted, club pointing to the sky. “We have our first mission; we’re going to go mug a god.”
And rather quickly, that thrill was replaced with concern.
@***@
A/N
Ocean Song is about to introduce his fellow Daoists to the oldest profession among cultivators. Mugging people and looting their bodies.
Comments
Raven
I like that idea but does that change the form of the club into a pimp cane?
Nick Pearson
"Mr. D announced a new question" “...wait, what question?" Percy asked. "Truly, he had the greeting Sect Protecting Divine Beast."
NovelLoversHeaven1
Please have him forget to lift his disguise as a pimp and breat up the god and afterward have him drink out of the gods chalice ( that looks like a pimp chalice) 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Mathieu Toulet
Senior sister Delphi is in the place. Even when he isn't here, the sect still manage to obtain new members!
TOS SOT
hahahaha xD fucking great
![blue[k]nights from fantia](https://patrefans.com/kistorage/49226.jpg)
