markvelasquez
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Alone in the Desert, pt. 4
🕑 Added 2019-05-17 12:59:58 +0000 UTCHere is the link to the images:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1uAq11v1OZzkOE1FrxhlTEJ8ZvXTz32Eg
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ALONE IN THE DESERT
There comes a point in your 40s where you realize that there are more yesterdays than tomorrows. That whatever you’ve achieved, whatever you’ve experienced, either doesn’t matter to the generations that are coming up, and if it actually does matter to anyone, you won’t know about it or get the feeling you wanted when you started out.
Or maybe that’s just me.
There was a time I felt creative, appreciated, moderately successful. Lately, I feel like I’m pushing a stone up a hill and no one’s even standing off to the side muttering “Hey, look, that guy’s doing a decent job with that rock.”
Yes, these thoughts are silly and self-indulgent, but I’m a lifelong artist. Ego is what it’s all about. What good am I if I can’t be stupidly self-indulgent every once in a while??
So yes, sometimes i give in to the negativity. But that’s not to say I’m unhappy. Actually, my personal life has never been better. I’m recently engaged, moved into a house I can’t afford with my fiancée, and I have the love and respect of my ever growing and abundant family. But what my ego craves is the acceptance of my work, of feeling truly creative, of pushing myself and receiving any small amount of acclaim for it.
But that’s all codswallop. I’m doing fine. Suck it up, big guy. There are always people far worse off than you, and at this point, there are literally billions worse off than I am. I’m an incredibly lucky guy, and I never take what I’ve earned, or been given, for granted. But I still have longings, needs, desires. I guess that makes me human, no?
Please enjoy this special series of the always adorable Kaitlin! This series was simply and beautiful and straight-forward, but feel free to ask me any questions you may have!
And thank you all once again for your continued support! It truly means so very much to me! If you have time, please leave a comment about what you like about my work here as well as a note I can share with the model. Keep in touch!
Here is that link again:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1uAq11v1OZzkOE1FrxhlTEJ8ZvXTz32Eg
Comments
Mark Velasquez
Yes, but realizing that doesn't kick in until your 40s :)
RCBugman
With life expectancy in the US being around 76 for males, I'm guessing the more yesterdays moment should actually hit before the 40s. ;)
