thomas lodge
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The Bully - Chapter 23
🕑 Added 2024-05-12 10:00:02 +0000 UTC[I had to remove earlier chapters of this story as they were featuring acts of bullying]
THE BULLY
Chapter 23: Moving on
Charlie Walker came home in the middle of the night.
He was tired, a little disappointed with his tips, and he smelt like shit.
Of all the things he disliked about working at the bar, the scent of alcohol mixed with sweat (and sometimes, smoke) was probably the one thing which could have made him quit his job.
Yet, despite the odour, most of the times, he would not have it in him to shower when coming back at 3 or 4 A.M.
He would fall straight into his bed, sometimes even sleeping with his clothes on.
Although that night, that was not possible since there was someone else lying on his sheets.
He did not think much about the mess in the kitchen and in the living-room when he walked in, - he knew that his son had had some friends over to celebrate the end of the exams -, but he did not expect to find him naked and crying in his own bed.
“Luke? What… What’s happening?”
Luke had not had the strength to leave the bed since Dylan had left the apartment.
He had not realized that so much time had passed and that his dad was coming back home.
He felt even more ashamed now, to be found like this.
“Shit… Sorry, dad… I… I didn’t see the time. I’ll go to my own bedroom and I’ll clean everything up before you wake up tomorrow.”
“I don’t care about any of that.” Charlie sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s going on, son?”
Where to start?
The months of atrocious bullying; the revenge orchestrated by Gropper; the pressure of the last few weeks; the stress of the exams; the death threats; the gruesome murder with a baseball bat; the cover-up of the crime?
A lot of things were going on.
“It’s nothing, dad… I’ll be fine.”
“You know you can talk to me. I can help you out.”
“I know, dad.”
Without knowing much about his son’s life, Charlie went with the most logical explanation for any young adult crying his eyes out.
“Has someone broken your heart, Luke?”
Jackpot!
That was the most recent trauma.
Luke nodded yes and Charlie hugged his son warmly.
The first heartbreak was always hurting a lot.
Charlie did not know what to say though, and the Walkers remained silent for a little while.
“Dad, it was a guy.” Luke confessed, finally finding the strength to come out.
Although Charlie fully expected it, - he had understood his son’s liking for other guys for a while -, he was still a bit awkward about it.
Yet, he made a point of showing that this piece of information did not change anything for him.
“A boy or a girl, a heartbreak is a heartbreak, son. It’s painful, but we survive it and we move on to better and more beautiful things.”
Maybe Charlie was not the father of the year, but this was exactly what Luke needed to hear in that moment.
At the very least, he had his dad’s support; Dylan did not even have this.
Luke cried on Charlie’s shoulders for a large part of the night.
He would survive this.
He would move on.
*
Five months later
Winter was coming and Dylan hated it.
He was definitely a Summer boy. He loved the beaches, the tiny skirts the girls were wearing, the late parties, and showing off in the most revealing clothes he could find.
What was the point of working-out all year long if it was not to flaunt your fit body?
But this Winter was particularly depressing.
College life had not hold all of its promises for the young Adonis.
He had gotten accepted to this university mostly thanks to his performance on the mat (and the financial help of his father), but since what had happened with Gropper, Dylan had developed some nervousness around wrestling.
Although “nervousness” might be an understatement.
Dylan legit had a panic attack (and cried) during their very first training session, right when he saw the golden and bronze wrestling singlet he was supposed to wear.
That reaction was embarrassing to say the least.
Since then, he kept on with the wrestling but his heart was no longer in it and he was seriously lacking compared to his performance in high-school.
Clearly, he was no longer the top dog.
Going from most respected and feared student in River-High to a nobody in his college had also been a difficult adjustment.
Clifford Ward was influential in their hometown, not so much there.
As December was starting, he still had not made a solid group of friends.
But had he ever had any real friend to begin with?
He could have been popular, Dylan was natural at using his charms to please people, but he was way too preoccupied to take the time to build a social group.
Generally, the first person you become good friend with at the university is your roommate but Dylan’s family had gotten him a spacious room alone; this was isolating him even more.
That being said, maybe the biggest challenge of all was to come to terms with his sexuality.
After he had had (hot and amazing) sex with Luke before leaving for his Summer internship, denying that he might, at the very least, be bisexual was becoming more challenging for Dylan.
Trying to reason his own behaviour as “no homo” was taking a lot of his brain space.
In Washington, closely monitored by his dad and forced to work a tedious job, he had not been able to meet anyone.
But as soon as he came back in the South to start his life as a freshman, Dylan promised himself he would go back to his old ways, fucking every woman he would find in his way.
He did…
For a moment, at least.
For the first few weeks, he was hooking up with a different girl every night, mostly trying to prove to himself that he could get them.
Aside from pumping his ego, the one-night-stands with horny chicks turned to be more sad than exciting.
He had to admit it to himself, none of these bitches was measuring up to Luke.
That was a huge blow.
Dylan’s favourite activity had become at best boring, and at worst, plainly pathetic. Ouch.
What was he supposed to do with his life if he could not wrestle or fuck girls anymore?
That was basically his whole identity before!
Living alone for the first time in his life, Dylan found an outlet in pornography.
He had always been an avid consumer but for the past couple of months, he had turned into an addict.
He had found out that wanking off was his best shot (if not the only way) to calm his constant anxiety.
He was barely going to class and instead, he was beating his meat off pretty much 24/7. The dude must have been producing gallons of cum each week!
The porn he was watching was getting increasingly crazy to satisfy his urges.
Slowly but surely, he also included more men in the clips he was watching.
He was checking a lot of gangbangs scenes with more and more guys for a single girl, then, he decided it could be fun to have some of the guys fooling around with each other all the while they were banging a chick, and lately, he had even started consuming pure gay porn.
At the very least, those were less violent and insane than the crazy gonzo “100 men vs 1 girl” he had been consuming on the regular.
He started fucking guys on the side in early-November.
It began when he noticed that some gay dudes living on his campus had DMed him on Instagram.
He was hesitant but he took the bait one night when even the porn could not get his cock hard.
You see, at this point, Dylan had to find another way to shut down his brain.
It worked.
As soon as the horny gay guy (a Latino) walked inside his room, his 9.5. inches stick was all stiffed and Dylan was ready.
“Listen to me, man. You blow me, you swallow, and you get the hell out of my place. No bullshit, no running your mouth, and no discussion afterwards. Understood?”
That was harsh but at the very least, Dylan had made his intention clear.
The cock-sucker of the day did not mind.
Dylan Ward was not the first “straight college guy” that he was blowing during the night and he was used to being discreet.
After this first encounter, Dylan got used to call guys in his room pretty much every single night.
Dylan turned out to be the one calling his favourite ones back (including his first blower who had done an amazing job), and he even ended-up on GrindR to facilitate the meetings.
He had to when he had gone through each and every one of his DMs.
To be fair, although he was struggling with mental health and with his social life, Dylan was still a very hot piece of meat and he did not have any issue finding guys to lend him their eager mouths or their lubed-up asses.
Dylan never got fucked though.
This was a privilege he had only reserved to Luke.
The guys he was meeting could, at most, indulge in some rimming of his musky and hairy asshole.
Hell, they seemed to love it when he was smothering them with his big fat wrestling ass!
For most of these dudes, Dylan did not even bother with learning their names.
No way he was going to let himself get attached or made them think like he was considering them in any other way than a brainless sex toy.
Still, in the midst of this sexual and masturbation frenzy, Dylan had not managed to deal with his actual problems.
There was one thought in particular which was preventing him to sleep almost every night.
He could not help himself from thinking about Luke all the time, that was including when he was fucking another asshole, or when he had his dick warmly buried in a stranger’s throat.
A few times during Summer and his first term as a college student, he tried to reach Luke via texts.
Luke had completely ignored Dylan’s attempts during the Summer, - he needed time for himself -, but he had replied to him in September.
“Hey Dylan. I did see your texts. I don’t want things to be weird or tense between us but I cannot talk to you as if we were friends either. Not for now anyway. I know that I would fall for you all over again and I am doing my best to move on.”
As much as this message was not what Dylan was wishing for, - although, to be fair, he was not sure of what he was expecting or wanting -, it still gave him a glimpse of hope.
Judging by this text, Luke was still very much into him and the only reason he was not reaching back was to resist the temptation.
Not so bad for Dylan’s ego.
In the back of his mind, Dylan kept on living his life with the idea that maybe, once he would be ready, – if he ever were -, he could confess his feelings to Luke and they would get together.
The thing was, - and this was the reason why those thoughts were giving him stomach ache and keeping him up at night -, “getting together” with Luke was not a viable option for the hot jock.
Luke may have had been able to come out, but Dylan’s father would never allow such a thing, especially not in the middle of his campaign and not after what had happened with Gropper.
In any case, it was not even his father who was preventing Dylan from coming out.
At this point, Dylan despised Clifford Ward probably as much, if not more, as the leftists demonstrating against him. He was more than fine with never seeing his dad again.
It was his mother that he was worried about.
She would never survive her son coming out and her husband publicly cutting ties with him.
Yet, Luke was still living rent-free in Dylan's mind, maybe in his heart even.
Both guys were part of a text group made of the former wrestling team from River-High, in which they very rarely participated, but it gave them the opportunity to chat a few times during the course of their first freshman term.
Their conversations had been getting friendlier and that gave more hope to Dylan.
Recently, Luke had even told Dylan that they could be friends, that there should not be any bad blood between them. (No pun intended).
Their relationship took another turn when, on December 2nd, a dreadful message appeared on the wrestling’s group chat.
Jamal was sharing a news article with his own caption:
“THEY FOUND GROPPER! I TOLD YOU HE WAS DEAD!”
Until then, the boys hard largely discussed Gropper’s disappearance and everyone had come with their own theories within the group.
Nobody had mentioned a baseball bat massacre though.
This press article would change everything.
“Local wrestling coach and P.E. Teacher Owen Gropper confirmed to be the dead body found on the verge of the east-side river on November 29th.
According to the first analysis, Gropper was dead for about five months when discovered by a jogger.
His corpse is heavily mutilated and experts are trying to define the origin of said mutilations, the analysis is being made difficult due to the decomposition of the body under water.
Investigations are underway. No hypothesis is currently being ruled out. River-High will hold a ceremony in Owen Gropper’s memory in the following weeks.”
Dylan’s heart fell in his chest.
“OMG”, he wrote on the group chat to keep on pretending.
Luke shared pretty much the same reaction.
He had to play along with their lie.
This had to happen someday, the body would not stay hidden forever, but this was still a huge bomb falling on Dylan and Luke’s laps.
People had mentioned that the Coach had suddenly vanished early in the Summer but it had not made many waves. In September, when he had not come back to class, there were more concerns, but again, it had remained a very local question.
Now though, everyone was talking about it.
Had he killed himself? Who had attacked him, some animal in the water? Or did someone kill him and threw the body away?
Dylan knew that this was certainly not the smartest move, but he called Luke anyway.
Luke did pick up the phone, which was a good sign regarding the state of their relationship.
“Man, we shouldn’t be talking.” Said Luke immediately.
“I know but I… I’m freaking out!”
“How do you think I’m feeling, Dylan? I’m trying to keep my cool.”
“Me too… But Luke, they may interrogate us now. Me in particular, maybe someone will talk about the fact that he came to get me in the middle of our science class?! Maybe someone from the team will talk about the fight we had in the locker-room after the last competition?!”
“Fuck, Dylan. Don’t you think that I’m very much aware of that? But we made our decisions when we decided to go with your father’s plan. Now, it’s way too late to go back on this. We have to keep our head down!”
“You’re right, of course. My father is convinced that no matter what, if we keep our mouth shut, there’ll be no evidence at all as to what happened. It’s been months now…”
Luke sighed over the phone.
He was so tired of this bullshit but he could not let Dylan deal with it alone. In some ways, it was very much Luke’s fault. He had been the first one to hit.
“See, trust your dad, mate… That’s all.”
“I’m scared.” Dylan admitted genuinely.
“I am too.”
“Luke… Could we… Could we talk? Like in person?”
Luke thought about it.
He did not want to fall back into this chaotic mess.
He was nice about it though.
“I guess we could… Phone conversations are the worst anyway.”
“Yeah… And I… It’s not only about the Coach, Luke. I’d like to talk to you… I… I’ve been thinking for a while and…”
“Why do you save this for when we have the opportunity to meet again in person? I assume you’ll go back home for the Christmas break.”
“Yes, I will.”
“We’ll see each other at that time, then. Right?”
The more their relationship was progressing, the more it was obvious that Luke had his shit together and was the one in charge now.
“Right, sounds like a plan.” Dylan agreed.
The phone call only helped him for a couple of hours though.
Dylan was losing his mind and was incapable of ignoring what was happening.
He went through every social media and press outlets mentioning Gropper and read every single comment and theory.
Already, rumours were starting to spread about Gropper and escort boys.
Reading these posts was the worst thing he could have done and the stress culminated into a panic attack at around 4 A.M.
Dylan was literally on the verge of fully breaking down, having dark thoughts and not being able to find his normal breathing back.
That was when he made a decision.
He could not wait any longer to have a conversation with Luke.
In his mind, it was the only way to unlock things.
He had to tell Luke about how he felt, even if that meant telling the whole world that he was gay.
Dylan was killing himself with all the secrets and he had enough.
It could not do much about Gropper, but he could own what he was feeling for Luke, and God damn it, he had to admit to himself, he had been in love with the guy he was calling a “faggot” since his senior year of highschool.
It is just like in kindergarten, the boys are often mean to the girls, and especially to that one girl they liked most.
Well, Dylan had taken his suppressed desires and frustration on the guy he liked most.
This, and everything else, he had to explain to Luke.
He had to get him back.
Together, they could face anything. They had already been through so much!
Somehow, Dylan found himself in his car, driving at 4:15 AM.
Luke’s college was about a four-hours’ drive away, he would get there early morning, that was perfect.
In his craze, Dylan was no longer thinking about Gropper or his anxiety from getting caught by the cops.
He was only trying to prepare his speech to Luke in his head.
Sometimes it was a love declaration, sometimes it was a long apology, but it was always ending the same way, they were meant to be together.
Or at the very least, they should try. Right?!
For the first time ever, he could no longer push back this simple thought. He was into Luke!
Maybe they could be discreet at first, try things out, and if their relationship was meant to last, they could both go public about it.
The last five months had been the toughest of Dylan Ward’s short life but in a way, they had been necessary.
Finally, he was figuring things out, being truer to himself.
It was about time!
To be fair, he was also losing his shit and driving carelessly in the middle of the night with no sleep under his belt.
By some miracle, he thankfully did not crash and he arrived at Luke’s brainiac college in one piece at about 8 AM.
Only once he had parked there, Dylan second guessed himself.
He did not even know where Luke was living on the campus. Where was his dorm? He also had not made his mind about what he would say exactly.
Fuck it, he would improvise, just as usual!
Dylan tried to call Luke to tell him that he was there but he did not pick up the phone. He was probably still sleeping.
Just like in his own college, there was a dorm dedicated to freshmen. Dylan also knew that Luke had been admitted thanks to a scholarship, so it was pretty easy to find the building where he was staying at.
He pretended to be a student there, - although, he was clearly too dumb to ever be accepted in such university -, and he asked random people he was running into if they knew where Luke Walker’s dorm was.
The setting for the ending of a romantic comedy was all there.
The ex-lover driving all night and surprising his partner early in the morning with an intense (and unexpected) love declaration.
Thinking of which, Dylan considered that maybe he should have brought flowers, or at the very least, some breakfast.
Finally, a girl who was scrolling on her phone knew who Dylan was talking about, and she told him where to find him.
“Luke? He’s on the floor right above this one.”
“Which room number?”
Dylan’s heart was beating fast in his chest. He was really doing this!
He had totally forgotten about being exhausted from the sleepless night and the driving.
“I don’t know the number but it’s easy, it’s the very last door in the hallway when you come from the elevators. You cannot miss it.”
“Thanks!”
Dylan practically ran to the elevators.
He felt silly but at the same time, he thought that Luke would appreciate the gesture. Was not he a romantic?
He would make sure not to worry him about Gropper. That was not the point of his visit. Those questions would come back, but not now.
He followed the girl’s instructions and walked to the very end of the hallway.
Room 312.
He knocked, slightly trembling but determined.
No more time for regret.
Almost immediately, the door opened but it was not Luke standing behind it.
A black guy who was only wrapped in a ridiculously tiny grey towel looked at Dylan in surprise.
“Sorry, I… I was looking for Luke Walker, someone told me this was his room.”
The hunky guy readjusted his towel so it would not fall.
He was pretty beefy and quite wet.
“You’re at the right place! Sorry, I was just coming out of the showers. Luke’s still in the bathroom.”
“Oh? That’s his room?”
“Yeah.” The man extended his hand. “I’m Clay.”
Dylan shook Clay’s firm hand.
“I’m Luke’s boyfriend” The guy added with a large smile.
Boyfriend.
Fuck.
Dylan had gotten it all wrong.
[See you next week for the epilogue of the book and some information on a potential future (or not?) for this story.]
Comments
Prince Aziz Hunt
I knew something like that would happen by the end, but even still I'd felt bad for Dylan. As selfish as he is/was, I still had sympathy for him. It's telling of your good storytelling, Thomas. I also like the reality that Luke didn't wait for him, because he broke his heart and didn't cherish him while he had him. Heartbreak is rough and moving on in some regard is the best thing you can do, when you know the person you love won't reciprocate. Letting them go is the hardest part. Growing and learning from the pain of the heartbreak is the next. I think this was as much a happy "ending" as it was going to be, because Dylan can't always have what he wants and simultaneously be immune to the consequences of his actions. Regardless of his sexual charm. Regardless of his sexy body. Regardless of his feelings.
Krobbie
Boyfriend or not we know when Luke sees Dylan all those feelings are going to come tumbling back. Dylan needs to make this first meeting to go well. I’m hoping he doesn’t fuck it up but we know Dylan isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Fingers crossed. Great writing TL.
