thomas lodge
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Only Temporary - Chapter 16
🕑 Added 2025-06-01 10:00:02 +0000 UTCONLY TEMPORARY
Chapter 16: Tiny Grey Towel
“You lied to me, Josh.”
I thought about a hundred ways to go about it, and in the end, I went for the most straight-forward option.
Looking back, I think it was the right call.
Honesty is always the best policy and, frankly, Joshua and I had been beating around the bush for long enough.
Besides, the crimes’ shows that I was watching had fucked me up.
I was seriously afraid that Joshua might have been some sort of a psychopath.
If he had lied about his family-in-law, what else had he possibly lied about?
Was Jennifer buried somewhere in the backyard?
After all, I had never directly talked with her.
The craziest scenarios went through my head.
Fucking hell, I was semi-convinced that Joshua was a serial killer when I walked to him as he was chilling in the swimming pool.
He was of course naked as the day he was born.
That would make a damn hot murderer, enough to be featured in a Ryan Murphy’s series, I thought.
“Good morning, Justin.” He smiled at me.
Clearly, he had not gotten the mood I was in.
“I’m not joking, man. I know that you lied!”
He looked surprised by my harsh tone.
He dipped his whole face into the water one last time before swimming to the edge of the pool, perplexed.
“What are you talking about?”
“What’s going on with your wife’s sister? She’s not getting a divorce!”
I told you; I could not have been more direct.
Joshua’s face changed drastically.
“Ah… This.”
He came out of the water, his slick body wet and his heavy cock dripping as he jumped on the ledge.
“Yes, this! Why does her Instagram say that she just got married? Like seven weeks ago.”
He grabbed a tiny blue towel waiting for him on a lounging chair.
Joshua looked incredibly hot with the water dripping from his hairy ass but I did not let that distract me.
I was sort of ready to run away for my life if necessary.
Remember, he could try to kill me!
“I suppose you’d have found out at some point or another…” He muttered.
Joshua dried himself, running the towel against his chest and his fat cock.
He seemed to be thinking about what to say next. I did not want to leave him time to come out with a fabricated story.
“What was I supposed to find out exactly?!”
“Easy, Justin, let’s just have a talk.”
“Bro, I… I’m about to pack my things and leave. Why would you lie about something like this, that’s just crazy!”
He tried to wrap the towel around its waist but that thing was so tiny, - almost the size of a dishcloth -, it could barely hold around his frame nor that it could hide his prominent junks.
He gave up on the towel and instead, he threw it back on the lounging chair.
“Don’t be ridiculous, man. Let’s just go inside and we’ll have a conversation. I’ll explain everything.”
“Is Jennifer really at her sister’s place?” I insisted.
I was pressing him and he was very casual, like someone sorry to get caught but at the same time, not that startled about it.
“She is.”
Defeated or jaded were probably the most fitting words to describe him.
As for me? I was just impatient and angry.
I was fine with Joshua toying with me and teasing me in the context of our sexual games, but on real life matters, I felt truly betrayed.
He had talked to me many times about how hard it was for Evelyn and her two kids.
He had made me feel bad for the woman!
And there she was, looking like the happiest person on Earth in her white wedding dress.
Joshua sat on the blue towel on the chair and, intentionally or not, he spread his legs.
I could see his hairy ass crack; droplets were still shining below his taint.
“Dude, just explain yourself!”
“What do you want to know?”
“Is Evelyn divorcing her husband? Does she really need help with the kids?”
“No… She doesn’t. Her and Peter are just fine. They did get married in May. It was a beautiful wedding by the way.”
“Fuck, Josh… Why have you lied about that? I don’t even know these people. What was the point?”
“This is just what Jen and I have decided to tell around, that’s it.”
“But for what purpose?!”
He sighed.
“We didn’t know how else we could justify her leaving for Salt Lake City for so long.”
“Is she… Is she all right?”
I did not dare to ask if he had murdered her.
Do not judge me too hard, I was completely thrown off and I had not taken any time to think.
I had gone down and walked outside to confront Joshua only minutes after I had stumbled on the wedding’s Instagram post.
“She’s okay…”
“Why did she leave then?”
“Come on, don’t you get it already? I thought you were smart, Justin. She really is living with her sister except it’s not Evelyn who’s getting a divorce, it’s…” His voice got shaky. “It’s us.”
I was taken aback for a second.
“Oh.”
That made sense in retrospect.
I felt like an idiot.
“What did you think? I killed her or something?”
“Of course not…”
I think my reply came a bit late.
Joshua burst out laughing.
“Good god, Justin! You really thought that I had murdered my own wife.”
“No… But I mean, if you could prove to me that she’s alive, that’d help.” I said sheepishly.
He had to hold his stomach as he was laughing too hard.
“Check my phone, it’s on the table inside. You can read my last texts with her. You’ll see, it’s only about the divorce papers.”
“I’m not going to read your private conversations.”
“Bro, you think I killed my wife, I’d rather you snoop on me.”
I cracked a smile myself.
“But then… If you’re getting a divorce, why so much mystery? I mean, it’s not that bad. Everybody gets divorced nowadays. And obviously, I wasn’t going to judge you.”
Joshua became a bit more serious.
“I know but, the truth is, it’s very recent and until… Well, until we saw each other last weekend, we had not made the final decision.”
“So, you did go to see her?”
“Yes, I was in Salt Lake.”
I sat on the other lounging chair.
Now, I could find him cute again.
In fact, since Joshua was no longer with his wife, I did not even have to feel guilty at all!
Maybe that was not such bad news after all…
“And it did not go well?”
I remembered vividly that Joshua had come early from his trip.
“I wouldn’t say that. It went better than when she took her things, slammed the door and left six weeks ago.”
“Jesus, man… I had no idea. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We started having issues when we thought about having kids and I… I guess I wasn’t so ready.”
“Dang. I thought you two were solid.”
“Jen figured out that maybe mu reluctant to have kids meant I had doubts and I suppose she was right… We had… We had other problems.”
“Look, Josh, it’s not any of my business, I just…”
“Sexual problems.” He added, looking straight at me.
Here we go, I thought.
“I see…”
“I mean, you’ve found the butt plug already. Well, you’ve felt it pretty hard! Ah.”
I had left the toy in my bedroom this morning. I thought it was not very appropriate to plug myself for a confrontation.
I had even slid into a pair of loose underwear instead of my usual jockstrap.
“Wait… I don’t see your point with the freaking plug. What are you talking about, Josh? You’re divorcing your wife because you want to try anal play?”
“Of course not, but like, something was off. Something was missing when we were intimate. We tried new things but it never really did the trick. It got the both of us uncomfortable. In the last months, I couldn’t get it up anymore…”
That was definitely a shock because if Joshua was capable of something, it was precisely to “get it up”.
He was sporting spontaneous erections constantly.
Also, his sudden vulnerability took me completely off guards.
“Joshua, are you…”
“Gay?”
His voice was almost challenging me. His eyes were teary.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply anything… Loads of straight guys enjoy a finger or more up their ass.” I spoke.
He chuckled nervously.
“Come on, you blew my dick last night, and we both enjoyed it. I’m not that much in denial to think I’m 100% straight.”
I smiled.
“Okay, then. At the very least, I’m glad you enjoyed it last night.”
“Fuck, bro… I’m sorry about the way I’ve handled this whole situation.”
“That’s okay. At the end of the day, it’s just your personal life. You didn’t have to tell me anything.”
“I… I’m just confused. We had a rough patch with Jen, it didn’t feel right anymore, I got bored in bed but then… We were just supposed to take a break; we wanted to try to solve things but it’s been clearer and clearer that… I… I wasn’t just happy with her anymore, with my entire life. And I don’t understand why!”
“Finding meaning is always difficult.”
He looked at his house.
“This is the life I’ve always wanted. This is the life I’ve spent years building for myself!”
I stood up to go sit next to him on the chair.
I held Josh in my arms.
For once, there was no sexual undertone. I genuinely wanted to be there for him.
“Josh… You’re feeling lost? I’ve got some news for you… Everybody is. We’re just trying our best.”
He sighed.
“Maybe…”
“Also, you’re 34, man! You’ve got your all life ahead of you still. We’re all good.”
“Are you happy, Justin? Being openly gay and single.”
That was a tough one.
“It depends. Sometimes, I am. I feel free and I’m happy to be where I am in life. It’s great to be independent, not to rely on anyone… I’m proud of the business I’ve built on my own… But sometimes, I do feel alone. I wonder if I would not be happier if I settle down with someone. I wonder what I’m constantly running away from.”
He held me tighter.
He was naked and still slightly wet from his morning swim.
“Living with you has been the highlight of my year, man.”
“Really?”
“Yes, after everything with Jen… I needed this, a breath of fresh air, a completely different outlook on life.”
He caressed my thigh.
I have to point out, he was the one making the move.
It sent shivers in my body… My dick hardened in my underwear.
“Okay. Let’s just try to be more honest with each other from now on.”
He nodded.
“Of course. You don’t think I’m a serial killer anymore?”
“Nah… You’re not good enough at keeping secrets for that.”
“That’s fair enough.”
He wiped a tear from his cheek.
“Are you okay, Josh?”
“I am. I should go take a shower; we have to go to work.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Wanna join me in the bathroom?”
Fuck, I was tempted.
He stood up and grabbed the micro towel. His veiny cock was dangling before my eyes.
My erotic dream in flesh and bones, standing a foot from me and inviting me in a steamy shower.
Yet, I needed a minute.
It was a lot of information to digest.
Paradoxically, the second when Joshua became available, I took a step back.
“I’ll just go after you. I… I kinda want to enjoy the sun for a bit.”
“Sure, suit yourself. I… I’ll just… I’ll see you around.”
He masked his disappointment.
Joshua turned around, leaving the tiny blue towel behind, his two hairy buns disappearing behind the French window.
Stunning sight.
Trust me, I wanted to run after him but my mind was reeling too much.
So, he was divorcing.
So, he was questioning his sexuality.
So, he had been enjoying life again ever since I had moved in.
Wow.
Admittedly, I had been very much enjoying life since I had moved in too!
There was no denying, I had not felt this way in years.
Going to work that Friday felt like I was carrying a huge secret with me.
For all of my colleagues, the General Counsel was a great guy, inspiring trust, a married man, happy and reliable.
I knew better than them.
Joshua was just another human being, looking for a way to make sense of his life, having to rethink everything he knew to be true… and wanting some tongue buried in his ass.
Once again, it was Rafael who provided the entertainment at work.
It was apparently a bad time for couples because he had just broken up with his sugar daddy.
“He was getting too possessive.” He explained casually.
He did not seem bothered at the slightest and as far as Rafael was concerned, the concept of “TMI” (too much information) did not exist.
“So, you’re the one who made the decision to break up?”
“Yep. To be honest, I was tired of the way he thought I was his toy recently. He was quite surprised when I told him that I didn’t need him anymore.”
“Feeling like a toy, doesn’t it come with the sugar daddy package deal?”
“Maybe… It was fun at first, we could even fuck with other guys together but when he got too attached, I knew I had to run away.”
“You’re very young. I understand that you might not want to commit to anything serious just yet.”
“Exactly. Hell, I have views on other people too. I want to try new things.”
For some reason, I freaked out.
What if he had learned about Joshua’s divorce?!
He had described him as his perfect man before. He could snatch him away from me!
“You do? Anyone I know?”
“You’re single right?” He asked me playfully.
I was taken aback.
“Wait… What?”
“You’re cute, you’re a cool dude, we could go out for a drink.”
I felt both honored and a little dirty that he would consider me as his next option.
“Rafael, I’m nowhere near being able to be the sugar daddy of anyone.”
“Please, I’m aware. I wouldn’t go after you for the money you don’t have. I just want a fuck buddy while I’m looking for the one.”
I chuckled.
I could not tell if he was serious or not but I could not help myself from smiling.
“I don’t date people I’m working with.”
“Dating… Easy, grandpa! I’m just talking about fucking. You’re a vers, right? I can be too! I bet we can have some fun.”
He was definitely a cutie.
Although, if I had been able to resist Joshua in the morning, I could resist Rafael in the afternoon.
“Hit me up when my mission here is over. Four more weeks. We’ll talk about it then….”
“Oh, Justin, you’re way too confident that I’ll still be available in a month.”
I laughed.
“I’m sure you’ll have found another man to… fill your cravings in the meantime.”
He winked at me.
Rafael was not upset or embarrassed. He was simply following his desires, there was no humiliation in being rejected for him.
He told he like it was and then, he just moved on.
It turned out that I had a lot to learn from a 22 years-old kid!
“Who is he though?” He asked a moment later.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re obviously into someone… Tell me! Have you met anyone here in Denver? Or is he someone you’re still thinking about back in Nashville?”
“I… I may have met someone here. It’s just… Complicated.”
He rolled his eyes.
“I bet! You sound like the type of man who would make any relationship complicated.”
I did not try to deny this.
In fact, I thought that Rafael had a point.
I knew exactly what I wanted… Or rather, who I wanted and I was completely missing my shot.
I tried to talk to Joshua during the day but he took his lunch outside and he seemed very busy for most of the afternoon.
I hoped I had not blown my chance with him.
Clearly, Joshua Dawson only had to give the slightest sign that he was available and he would, for sure, have a harem of men begging him to get in his bed.
Rafael probably being one of them… And I could not be mad at him.
As usual, I came home way before Joshua did which gave me time to think about my next move.
I thought I should slip inside a pair of jockstraps to start with.
That should send a clear signal… Right?
When I looked through his underwear in his room, I noticed that the wedding ring was now put aside in a little box.
That gave me a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Soon, he would also get rid of the photographs of his wife.
The black and white painting of the both of them together was still hung above the headboard of the bed though.
I made dinner (homemade spinach ravioli) and I brought the butt plug to the living room.
The jockstrap and the plug were a fucked-up ritual but it was ours. I hoped that he would see it that way.
I was nervous and unable to focus on anything until Joshua came home.
Thankfully, that night, it was pretty early. He walked through the front door before 7 p.m.
The sparkle in his eye appeared as soon as he saw me in my outfit.
I had just scored a point there.
In all fairness, I looked great in a jockstrap! I was not perfect but my bum was peachy enough.
“Hey, Josh.”
“Hey, Justin. Nice jocks.”
He bit his lower lip.
“I thought I could try another one. I found it in your stuff, you don’t mind?”
“Nah… Blue suits you just right.”
Those were the only comments we made about my outfit.
The rest of the evening was pretty chill.
Just being able to have normal conversations was more reassuring than anything else.
Even after the blowjob the night before, and after the talk in the morning, we could still be friends.
Phew!
We had dinner, we talked about work, we joked, and I told Joshua that Rafael had been hitting on me, trying to detect any hint of jealousy in his eyes.
Joshua was hard to read so I could not really tell.
Things got spicier for dessert.
And this time, I was the one leading the charge.
“Want some ice cream? I think we have some in the freezer.” Joshua asked me.
He was in his notorious tighities whities, bending over to check the low section of the fridge.
Unlike the previous evenings, he had not stripped entirely naked when walking home. Probably because he was testing the waters.
“Honestly, Josh, I’d rather have some cake.” I replied spontaneously, staring at his butt.
“We don’t have that, man… Did you purchase one on your way home?”
I smirked.
Apparently, I was not the only one being naïve in that household.
“No, man, I was referring to another type of cake.”
He stopped in his tracks, hesitating.
“Okay… What would it be?”
I stood up and walked behind him.
I groped his meaty pecs.
I had been thinking about what I had missed on by the pool all day long.
“I know you have two juicy large buns right there” My hands went down his hips. “I think it’s time I try them….”
It was like the temperature had gone from 0 to 100 in a split second.
Joshua’s face turned red with excitement.
The sparkle in his green eyes had turned into a fire.
"Oh, so you want a slice of my cake?"
I could not believe I was really going for this approach.
"I do..."
“You know you’ll have to be a very good boy to get it.”
He turned around and he breathed on my neck.
“I… I’m a good boy… For you.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Justin. A very dangerous game.”
I gulped.
“Am I?”
I trailed my fingers down his furry chest, feeling the thick dusting of hair underneath my touch.
“You want to take this to the next level?”
His gaze was completely startling me.
Although, in that moment, I no longer hesitated.
“I do want that.”
He grabbed my cheeks.
“Then, let’s give you something to eat!”
The weekend was bound to get exciting!
