killer7
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The current situation and the way forward...
🕑 Added 2024-12-01 03:51:11 +0000 UTCThis post will be mostly about personal stuff going on in my life and what's on my mind lately. If you don't care about that, that's totally fine. You can ignore this post and wait for the progress update tomorrow. Also, I'm making this post more to clarify some questions I got again recently and will use it as something I can link again multiple times, just in case those questions come up more often again. After that I will talk a bit about myself.
First, I want to answer the question I have been getting the most again lately.
Why are you not remaking the models?
This has always been a possibility and it's the one thing I fall back to if and only if I will never get my stuff back ( or if there is a zero chance I get back anything to begin with ). I know this is going to sound frustrating for a lot of people because it has been over a year already and trust me, I know how much it sucks that the waiting has been going on since September 2023 basically. The thing is, if I recreate those characters and know that I will get my stuff back eventually, this will constantly be on my mind. I will really start to dislike what I created and that I had to "force" myself to do it. I personally will rather wait, no matter how long it takes, until its absolutely certain ( let's say, a court case where I would be judged ) that I will not get my data back. I know that a lot of you amazing people said you will wait no matter how long it takes but trust me, I would be the last person in the world that would be angry at any of you if you decided "That was long enough, get over it". That is purely my own stubbornness at this point and the dread that I will hate working on My New Memories eventually. Please respect this decision of mine as well though, you don't have to agree with it and you can say "It's not that big of a deal, I will love your remade chars as well", but I don't want to do it as long as there is even a 1% chance I get my stuff back ( and it's a 99.9% chance right now ).
Why are you making a prequel and did work fully on My New Family 2?
The easiest answer would be that I felt very, very burned out on My New Family. I think if this shit in september didn't happen, it would not have been that extreme, but my shit basically got taken while I was working on the last two days of the epilogue - I had so much other stuff planned but because of this situation, I completely threw everything overboard and had to start "from scratch" regarding those days. That was the first breaking point. The other was that my inspiration and creativity was just...Gone. That's why you also didn't get any real NSFW scenes in the Christmas special, I wanted to do at least one but I just wasn't able to think of something. I had a lot of stuff in mind regarding My New Family 2 back then, but it was pretty much all gone with the worries I had ( and still have ) after the police raided my home. This sounds more and more like a stupid excuse but it's hard to describe. My head wasn't really there at this time, but it is now. That's why I'm giving My New Family 2 more development time again.
It has been almost a year since you released anything. What happened? The prequel was supposed to be done fast?
Honestly? I don't know. I know it's easy to blame the whole police raiding my place and taking my hardware thing, but it's not like I didn't buy new hardware to start working properly again. If we take the prequel into account, for example, which I started to work on full time after the release of the first playable version for supporters ( which was earlier this year, if I remember correctly ) then there should at least have been a fully playable public release by now. I can't really find a good reason why it's taking me that much longer to work on something that I love. After the initial feedback for the prequel has been nothing but positive my morality got a huge boost and I thought I can finally start working how I used to. But I couldn't and I don't know how. Friends that I told about this say it's because of the Trauma/PTSD, but is it really that? Lately I have been feeling better again mentally and I was able to commit more time to what I love to do the most - Writing stories. But sometimes there are still these phases where I just can't do anything. It's hard to explain but I'm pretty sure that people that experienced similar traumas know what I mean.
I think those were the most burning questions I received in the last few months. I now wanted to talk a bit more about the current situation and how I'm feeling. Please keep in mind that this is not a fish for sympathy or pity, that's why I will try to keep the stuff more or less neutral.
The fact that shit shit has been going on for over a year has taken the biggest toll on my mental ( and physical ) health ever in my life. I researched at least a thousand times by now if this is normal - If the german law system is that slow, if people that got their equipment seized for other things had to wait that long as well and the overall impression I got is...Yes, yes it does take that fucking long. I found so many people that were accused of having certain illegal materials on their pcs ( videos and photos of the darkest kind ) and their wait time averaged around mine - From 6 months to 2 years, everything was there. That wasn't the only thing I researched. I also looked into what happened to the data of those people, which gave me a bit of relief. If anything illegal is found on your harddrives, they will be wiped, no way to object there. When it comes to hardware, you get everything back, they have no right to keep it ( though they can keep the harddrives if there was anything illegal on it ). I can say with one million percent honesty that nothing that was on my PCS ( be it laptops, external harddrives etc ) had ANYTHING illegal on them. My games ( all of them ) should be legal in Germany, since all characters are declared 18 and above and none of them are depicted in a way that could make you think otherwise. If someone thinks my characters look younger, that's fine, they aren't though. My game is not some dark fantasy for people to live out certain illegal kinks. The german justice system is pretty clear on stuff like that anyway so even if the investigating police officer deems some characters too young, it wouldn't mean anything since the law for fictive art ( 3d or 2d ) is different from real stuff in Germany ( I don't want to get into detail, but in Germany you can even have certain pictures on your devices that would get you a long jailtime in other countries ).
Now I don't know what this investigating police officer thought she has found on my hardware. If it's anything game related then this can easily be solved, like I said, my pcs are "clean" and only contain working stuff or games that I play. I don't know what she could have found on my phone either, since I use my phone to mostly talk to real life friends or to chat on Discord while I'm not at the PC. I never used any "shady" stuff like Telegram or TOR browser or things like that, because I never did anything illegal to begin with.
Knowing all this and still being treated like a fucking criminal and predator ( because that's the narrative they are trying to spin now, apparently ) was almost as bad as the raid on my apartment. I don't know how to describe it properly, but if you think of someone accusing you of these horrible things, you can probably imagine how it makes you feel. My lawyer is doing an amazing job in trying to help me out of this situation but sadly, he is just a lawyer, not a state attorney. I know a lot of you have said he is not doing enough but trust me, he is doing everything he can. He is basically fighting at 2 fronts for me, is trying to help me get my stuff back AND he is trying to get the piece of shit who caused all of this to get his judgement. Basically, this person ruined my life and said things to the cops just to avoid to be put in jail ( he accused himself of horrible things so he can stay free until the court case ). And then this guy flees to Thailand. How can any police officer still take ANYTHING this person says as something truthful? Well, I grasped at a last straw recently and basically told my lawyer that I will do anything so I can get my stuff back. I can't go into detail what exactly I "offered", but it's something he and I will discuss later this month ( he will get an updated look on the case file at the end of the year, thats when we will talk ). I can't go into more detail since we don't know whos reading my stuff etc. There are a lot of things coming into play here and one thing I also have to keep in mind ( and track off ) is the huge financial loss I already suffered from because I currently can't continue the development of My New Memories. The monatery loss is bigger than I thought and it hurts even more to know that my potential for growth is basically on hold since september 2023. But that's a loss I can manage, so don't worry about that.
Lastly, I want to talk about something positive. And with what I said on my 5th anniversary post, the most positive thing I can talk about is you guys. It has been over a year since this happened and so many of you still show their support - be it financially with supporting me on the platforms or be it emotionally, with sending me encouraging messages and comments on my posts. I think it's hard to describe what words can do to people in a positive way and even though I only know you guys online, you guys commenting and messaging me have a huge impact on my mental health in the most positive way. I see all of you people that play my games not just as "fans" or "community members", you are way way more than that. The positive words you leave and the ratings you give for my games are the one thing that keep me going. I don't want to say "keep me alive" because that might sound like too much..But it also kinda is like that. I felt like when the police raided my home and took my stuff I lost the purpose of doing anything at all. But then seeing that you guys send me your energy and love to keep going, to continue to do what I love, to continue write stories that so many of you enjoy, that is something that I will never be able to pay back. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart that stayed with me till now and I really hope that all this fighting will eventually pay off. The only thing I can do for you people is keep working on the games you love so much, just like I love making them. My biggest hope is that you will enjoy the prequel so that the waiting for the main game and My New Family 2 becomes more bearable. I will do my best, that is a promise I can give you, to stay strong.
And like I said earlier, if you think this is taking too long, if you don't want to wait anymore and feel frustrated, angry or disappointed with me, or even if you don't believe anything I say and think I'm just a huge scammer...That is also fine. You will still hold a special place for me because you are someone that used to enjoy my work. I'm very sorry that I can't be how I used to be over a year ago, where I was full of creativity and released updates in a steady cycle. All I can do is promise to do better, to keep going and to try my best to get in a consistent rhythm again.
If you read this far, thank you. I hope this post gave you a clearer picture on the situation and my way going forward. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me a message here or on Discord. My name there is killer7.
Comments
Canuck4ever
+1
Canuck4ever
+1
MAK
Sorry for late reply, I will always support you no matter what will happen in future. I will always wait for your main game. Stay strong and don't worry we are all here for you.
Marc
Heyho, du machst echt eine geniale Arbeit und mir persönlich macht es nichts aus auf Updates zu warten, weil ich weiß das es sich richtig lohnt. Lass dich bitte nicht von der momentanen Situation unterkriegen, ich kenne das bin seit Anfang des Jahres wegen einer Bagatelle im Rechtsstreit und es nervt richtig, das kann ich nachvollziehen. Alles in allem mach weiter so ich werde dich weiterhin unterstützen solange es mir so möglich ist. Beste Grüße
Grimlar
Something else I read in a news article several years ago was that someone who had been accused of something, made a payment, essentially prepaying a fine, without admitting guilt and that was it, case over for them. I don't know if that would apply to your case or not, but if it did I for one would be willing to donate to a patreon or other form of fundraiser to help you pay for it. Whatever you decide to do I hope that this finishes, favourably, sooner rather than later. Best wishes to you and your family.
Dashman
So gonna be upfront on the PTSD thing. That shit sucks. There are two types basically. One is from single incident (raid on apt.) and the second is from prolonged and recurrent exposure (court case). There are alot of therapies for it now (emdr helped me, as well as talking.) If you have questions you can DM me and ill let you know my experiences and try and find you some literature that might help out. But biggest thing is honestly take care of your self first.
Flameman33
Yours was the first adult game I have played in my life and got me to play others. With everything going on in your life right now I just want you to know that I and thousand of other subscribers will always support you and wait for you to finish your games even if it takes years to do. So stay strong and know we have your back
Jerald Lane
I have waited this long I will continue to wait see how a good story ends best of luck and stay strong
Grimlar
It sounds to me as if you are moving in the right direction with this. All I would say about offering to do anything to get your stuff back is this, don't do something that is going to come back and bite you in the butt further on down the line. It's strange and completely unfair how it works sometimes, for example rape allegations against a teacher, that destroy his career, his circle of friends, even his family, only to be proved to be totally false, attention seeking, self serving juvenile fantasy. Don't do it to yourself, if you are innocent, (which I'm sure you are,) make sure that's the verdict you get. If they can't show any evidence, after more than a year, that you have done something wrong, then this not an investigation, it is harassment pure and simple. I guess it's only a TV trope, but can you take the police to court for harassment and get your stuff back that way?
M2
We've always got your back, Killer. ❤️ You've had a rough go of it for over a year now, and no one here blames you for it. The PTSD from the raid may well have made thises even worse. But like we say, take all the timtime you need, old friend. We're not going anywhere. ^^
Brandon2494
Hey keep up the good work and hang in there killer I’ve liked your games since day one of finding MNM on steam and was thrilled to find that you had other games once I followed you on patreon all of which have simply wonderful stories. Also the prequel is turning out great in my opinion and is very enjoyable I definitely can’t wait for the next update. Sending Love and Support in the hopes that it lifts you spirits and gives the strength to carry on another day friend and anytime you need someone to vent to and just talk message me cause I’m not going anywhere.😁
Mat Hill
I've had times when I've lost maybe just an hour's worth of work (I'm a software engineer) due to BSOD or power failure, and that has felt like a huge punch in the gut. You feel like even when you rewrite what you've lost, it won't be the same. I feel that writing code is not just a logical process but a creative one. You can recreate creative expression but it will never be exactly the same. The sense of loss is unavoidable. And what you do is creative expression to a far greater degree than computer code alone. I don't think you'd be human if you weren't suffering from some degree of PTSD. And yes, like the others .. the sense of injustice .. the waste of police time and resources, while actual criminals are out there .. I would LOVE for someone higher up in the chain to look into this and fire the officers involved. Because they're achieving NOTHING that they are actually there for. My final 2c worth (hey I am cognizant of German money being called Marks or Deutschmarks .. what are the coins called? Or is everything Euros now?) create a new story with new characters. If this could go on for yet another year .. or even a story that will, down the track, tie into either MNF or MNM. I mean the prequel is pretty much that. But it might help the creative juices to do something unrelated.
key
it is no longer justice it's bullying you can't call them police anymore they are just as bad as criminals
Luciano Manuel Montenegro
I was raided by cops about 10/15 years ago a believe , when the Motorola defy + came out in my country... Wiki said 2011 so yeah... I lost all my devices for work too, PC , cellphones, tablets, notebook, tvs, etc. The raid was rough, they tackle my family members and me , destroyed my home and take all electronical stuff with them. A year or so later when the case was closed (they got the wrong house...) they never return anything to us. But the law in my country sucks (Argentina) back in the day the law was sh*t , it still kinda is but it's getting better now. But what I want to say is that my sister suffered the most, she was really bad with the PTSD , we send her to a lot of shrinks and stuff with no luck. Until she found good friends and video games, that's what's make her keep going , so sometimes what you are supposed to do it's not always what you need... Just do what makes you happy. And keep going , we are here for you.
Junior72
We're all here for you Killer
Eltis Walke
Still here & not going anywhere anytime soon.
Solstorm
To be wrongly accused and having the government raid your house then still act like you're guilty when it has been shown it was a lie! It does interfere with everything in your life. In the back of your mind is that nagging feeling if you pour your heart in your projects, could the government come and take them too? Be strong! You will be vindicated!
Jürgen Kellner
Du schaffst das! Kopf hoch
Centurius
I'm one of those who don't mind waiting. I've enjoyed your work and look forward to being able to enjoy it more. I'm glad you're still hanging in there and trying, and I hope you don't give up. My New Memories has been my main focus, but I enjoyed the others as well. Would be nice if you could sue the cops or do something to hold them accountable for falsely accusing you and wasting your time and money.
Grant Thomson
Hey keep the faith we are behind you, you do suffer from PTSD or at least in MHO, so yeah it will take time and for what it's worth good things are worth waiting for, hope things swing round for you and you get a Christmas miracle. You know where I am at if you need to chat.
Kyle K
I know I'm glad you're keeping on despite the overwhelming hardship due to these asshats. You definitely need to take all the time you must for yourself as your mental state is the most important thing. I hope you get all your stuff back and you can can rest easy. You will always have major support for yourself and your awesome games!
