killer7
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Progress Update | 01/01/2024 ( And a little recap of 2023 )
🕑 Added 2024-01-01 18:04:23 +0000 UTCHello there you wonderful and very attractive people out in the world!
Another week, Another month, Another year, Another progress update!
Well, I mostly want to write a small recap of 2023. I expected it will be longer, but since there is not that much left to tell regarding the bad stuff that happened at the end of 2023, I mostly want to talk about the good stuff that happened.
2023 was a very interesting and mostly amazing year for me. My New Memories finished it's first story arc and one of my most anticipated moments finally happened with Anna waking up. Ever since I released the first playable version of MNM this was the one moment I worked towards and I put all of my heart and hope into it, hoping that you guys would be as touched as I was when it finally happened. Now I can fully and truly work on My New Memories how I always wanted ( at least in terms of the story, rendering is a different thing at the moment, as you know ). I feel like My New Memories is on a good way and I can't wait to release Chapter 4. I'm still motivated like crazy, even through all the shit that has happened.
2023 Also had the final release and official "ending" for My New Family. After working on this game for over 4 years it was probably one of the most emotional moments of my life when I released the epilogue. Of course the work on My New Family is not done, but it truly marked the ending to the first game. I think I succeeded in creating a game from start to finish that I always wanted to play - wholesome, slice of life, no drama and lots of cute and lewd moments. Characters like Sandra, Lucy, Alice, Becca and the whole household in general truly mean more to me than I realized. I know it's just fictional work, but creating this game basically started a new life for me, helping me out of a deep hole that I was in for a long, long time. My games give me a reason to wake up every day and not just stay in bed, letting the bad feelings take over and fall back into the hole my games and you amazing people helped me out of.
If I remove the last 3 months of 2023 then I'd say this was one of the best years of my life. But you know what happened at the end of the year and since we don't have time travelling, it is sadly my current reality. I put all my hopes in this month that I at least get one of my crucial and essential ssds back, the only thing that really matters to me now. All the other hardware is replaceable but this one harddrive basically contains the stuff that keeps me alive, without it I..Don't want to know what will happen to me. The next 30 days will basically determine if there is a light at the end of the tunnel or if the current downwards spiral continues. I will stick to what I said last week and will not make a big announcement or fuzz about it. Let's just hope that the next 30 days and the start of 2024 in general will make things better.
I'm back to writing for My New Memories and my motivation is as high as it was before september 2023. I want to create new content, I want to continue the story. Sometimes, there are phases where I just start to look back and realize things I'd rather not see right now. For example, that this is the longest time between any game update I ever had. This is not how I want to see myself, even though this is out of my control, but it's what the mind does to you. I guess I just don't want to be seen as someone that is lazy or doesn't appreciate how lucky he is to do this job. And while I know that you amazing people most likely don't see me as a bad person, I myself start to see me as one. I constantly think back to what I could have done to prevent this - have online backups of all the assets. Have an external ssd outside of my living area... All the stuff that you only realize when it's too late. I know better now, of course, and I know what I will do once I have access to my files again, but that doesn't help me now. And I think the worst part is how utterly helpless I am because I have to rely on other people to do their job, that I can't accelerate things and that the people that are basically holding my life hostage are most likely not working as fast and effeciently as they could. To them this means nothing, to me these files mean everything. But I will not let this drag me down even further. My mind sometimes wanders to dark places, which is pretty normal, apparently. I'm currently in the process of seeking professional help regarding the trauma that occured during the raid, sometimes that I didn't even realize is happening to me. I thought I could get through this without it but I guess there is no harm in seeking help. That is at least something I can do.
But I don't want to end this on a negative note. If there is one thing that 2023, especially the end of it showed me is that I have the best community in the world. The incredible support you guys gave me after I broke the news to you throughout these last months is something I never experienced before. It feels like I have a second family in you guys, that always aims to make sure that I'm feeling... Good. That worries about my well being and wants to do their best to help. And there are no words in the world that can express how grateful I am for this. It's not only the work on my games that keeps me alive and afloat, it's mostly you guys telling me to keep going, to not lose hope and to look forward to better times. I think without you people, I'd be in the deepst hole of despair right now. Like I said, words can't express how grateful and happy I am to have you guys as my players, as my friends and as my family. Every comment, every message is a helping hand and I love you guys so much for this. Times will be better, I hope, and I know that it's getting tiring. Nonetheless, I will keep going, thanks to all of you amazing people.
Todays render is "Bethany" ( it should be Karla ) and you will have a longer talk with her on her first night back. There are a lot of things you and her never talked about before regarding the relationship she had to you and your sisters. If I had to compare Karlas personality to someone I'd say she is a lot like Becca. She never gave up on getting a true connection to Jessica and Sabrina, but she also never pressured too much. I think the realization will hit both of them that a lot of years were wasted with being bitter about something that Karla had nothing to do with. In the end, MCs parents divorced because they both wanted it, and the one person that can't be blamed for anything is Karla.
And I think that's it for now. If I receive any news this week I'll let you guys know asap, like I promised. Until then, stay awesome, and happy new year again! Let's hope it will start better than 2023 ended, alright?
Comments
SteelDriver
Killer - I keep a super-OCD Trello board of the AVNs I play (and the ones I watch to see if I'm interested) and track stats so lemme tell you straight up. I play 170 AVNs, 56 of which I consider to be pretty high quality. I patronize 26 of them for about $8.50 a game. You are my favorite dev. You're the most communicative, the most transparent, the hardest work ethic, and you've got my absolute favorite story in MNM. Keep your head up and Happy New Year!
dpas9993
Killer, no matter what you say, you're not a bad person. There's always the thought in the back of our minds that we must be a bad person if bad things happen to us, like we must deserve it somehow. The bad person is the one that started all this shit. I'm glad that you're getting professional help, another point of view can often help you to a mental breakthrough. Best wishes for the new year, and know that we all love you at least as much as you love us.
