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Treading Water during Quarantine - Channel Update
🕑 Added 2020-08-21 19:55:26 +0000 UTCHey everyone, I hope you're all staying safe as we enter the sixth month of this pandemic. That's right, it's been six months.
At the start of the coronavirus outbreak, I considered myself incredibly lucky. As a youtuber, I work from home and the lockdown had almost no effect on my job or my financial situation. I even saw this as an opportunity to increase my video production rate; during my Anniversary Livestream a few months ago, I said that I'd like to get back to making videos every 2 to 3 weeks. However, six months into quarantine, I still find myself struggling to meet my deadline at the end of the month and in my frustration, decided to figure out why.
Throughout 2019, I was making a video every 2-3 weeks, but I was also going to the gym regularly, attending conventions, and constantly taking steps to improve my production and personal life. So far in 2020, I've made one video a month... and that's it. No gym, no conventions. I wake up every day knowing that nothing is going to be different - in fact, many things are getting worse - and the only thing for me to do is sit in front of my computer and work.
Making videos is the only thing I do, every day. While many people lost their jobs and were forced to stay at home with their family, I'm stuck at work every day. Rather than losing my job, I lost my social connections. I live alone and the ferrets aren't great at keeping up with a conversation. While I've tried to make up for that lack of social interaction through Skype calls and Twitch livestreams, at the end of the day, I still haven't left my apartment. There is nothing to break up the monotony, every day is the same. I've been pushing through it since I know I'm luckier than most, but it seems like I've hit my limit.
My strategy during quarantine was to just survive until the end - I've stayed home, gone to the grocery store no more than once a week, always wear my mask, etc. But after six months of treading water, I'm starting to tire and it's affecting my work. When every day is exactly the same, it's hard to motivate yourself to even get started.
I now realize that I wasn't making videos every 2-3 weeks *despite* going to the gym regularly and attending conventions... I was making videos every 2-3 weeks *because* of it.
I've always known that it was important to stop working every once in a while, but I've also held myself to an impossible standard and thought that I could just push through it. Now I'm realizing that I can't, I'm human like the rest of you. So I need to take a step back and re-evaluate my strategy, especially since it doesn't look like this quarantine is going to end any time soon.
I think it's important to note that I'm not burning out, I still enjoy making videos. But because of this pandemic, I'm ONLY making videos, I never get to turn it off and do something else. So while I've been working on my next video on banking for a few weeks now, I'm struggling to find the motivation to continue because I want to do literally anything else. Since I've made the process more public, people on Discord and Twitch have been providing valuable input and I'm looking forward to finishing that project. But I also need to take a step back and figure out how to get the rest of my mental health needs met, so I'm not in this exact same situation next month.
So I've decided to push this video to next month and give myself some time to get my personal life sorted. I can't keep waiting for the pandemic to end, this is the new normal and I need to adjust. I know some of you will be disappointed with the delay, but I'm also really excited to put a little more time into this next video.
Stay safe out there!
Comments
Lloyd Duran
im on the same boat because of my medical situation. i absolutely have to avoid getting infected. the nation's response to the pandemic and the whole hoax conspiracy only frustrate me even more. what helps me is to be aware that while there's a shit ton out of my control, how I react to it is still entirely under my control. so far, going for daily walks (I live in suburbia), making sure I get sun, eat at least two healthy meals/day, staying in contact with supportive people, gardening, caring for my cat, mindfulness of the present, housework, and paddle boarding have been helpful. im sure you're doing what you can since you seem smart and strong-willed, but i figured i could at least validate your experience, provide some motivation, and contribute some suggestions to get you thinking about other options. keep up the good work!
Jesper Bergeskans
Fully understand where you're coming from. I'm pretty much in the exact same spot. I just keep working because that's the only thing I can do at home and it has now gone to the point where I don't know what to do if I'm NOT working. So yeah, take some time. It'll be good for you!
Cory Roma
I wish you well! Take all the time you need, we’ll be here whenever you feel ready to come back ❤️
Euan Smith
All the best.
eleventacles
it's been a weird year. you do what you need to do and we'll be here when you need us.
Emily Martha Sorensen
I've discovered much the same thing with my writing: stuff that I thought was getting in the way of my writing more was actually "filling the creative well," giving me the energy I needed to do more. Filling the well is so important! I hope you can find ways to do it that you can do during the quarantine. Are there any online conventions you can attend, for instance? Do those fill the well at all? Maybe a regularly scheduled Zoom meeting with people you like and respect? Would that help you feel less of the social isolation, maybe?
Darrel Crane
I think you should not just be holed up on your apartment. Your car is perfectly safe, you can take precautions refueling. Being outside, with good distance from others is fine. This virus is not everywhere, but close to others. You could also pick a quarantine friend to agree to share risk with. This is one of the more hospitable planets in this solar system -- get out and see it. Pandemic suck to be sure. I hope you will find some accommodation that doesn't risk your safety, but improves your relationship quotient. Blessings, Darrel.
Empress Mermaid
I completely understand KB, and living alone in a pandemic sucks. The less I have on my plate, the less I get done.
FredShoey
Yes. What they all said.
Lou Paris
As a content creator myself I am struggling in the same fashion. I juggle three careers (Wedding DJ, wedding platform founder, IT Director) and I shoot content for my channel (and website). And it has been an absolute struggle to find the energy to do my shooting and editing. The lack of doing things day to day and having a gym made me gain all the weight I lost last year and now I am trying to find my own reset in all this to get things back on track. Take the time to find a good path for your mental health. Pandemic fatigue is a real thing and it just gnaws as one's mental state. While it might not be debilitating, it is still all the same a pressure point we have to try to find ways to manage. We can't wait for the next videos, but take the time to find a piece of mind.
Juan C.
Thanks for the update. I admire your bravery for discussing your struggles openly, and have 0 problems waiting while you find what's best for you. It may be scary admitting struggles, but hopefully based on the comments here... now, you know better. :) I wish you well!
Katherine
Remember that all the things you mentioned - regular exercise, socialising, rest time and daylight - are all essential to making your brain function, keeping you motivated, and keeping you healthy. It's unrealistic to expect yourself or anyone else to do without those things and still function well. Please do take a break and stay healthy and happy, we'll be happier with that than with having a few extra videos sooner :).
Marc Matteo
So first off, yup, I get it. Like you, I'm lucky to still be employed and working from home, but I've watched my hobbies (also home based) slow dramatically and now I'm starting to approach even the day job with an "what's the least I can do to get to beer:30?" attitude, and that's personally not cool. I was so sure I'd have MORE time to work on things "on the side" because, let's face it, there wasn't anything else to do. HA, wrong! I suspect that there are multiple parts to the solution: First, we need to recognize that this not "temporary". I think a lot of people were all "I can suck it up for a little bit..." and yes, you could. But this is not that. My office is closed through "next year" and even then there's a possibility that "working remotely" will be the new standard. So this ain't changing. Second, you gotta set a schedule. Work is from this time to that time. Gym is from that time to then. Etc. And then nail yourself to it. No one else is gonna set it, so it's up to you. Make sure it includes time when you CAN'T make videos so that you can look forward to it when you can. Third, I um, I don't have a third... so like, um, be happy or something? Seriously, tho, any other pointers would be useful, because, really, it's not just you.
Luis Mijangos Fuentes
Don't worry, KB. We understand your situation and your wellbeing it's more important that everything else. Take care of yourself. I hope that you'll be better soon in every aspect of your life.
Fingolfin
I'm glad you feel comfortable doing this. Take care of yourself mate!
Michael Lambert
First, understood. I appreciate the quality of your work. Taking a break is well earned. Second, I suggest you make your break something more than just not working. Even with Covid there are places to visit. Or get a hobby to take your mind off of work. Just don't vegetated. Third, try spacing your big productions with a quick hitter that entails less effort. Do one on your ferrets. How much does it cost. Are there different breeds? What have you found works for them (food, toys, cage, exercise). Males vs females. Fixed or fertile? When are they most active? Upsides and downsides. Just some thoughts, take it or leave it.
Glenn Boswell
As a fellow (but far newer and less successful) content creator, your post lands right in the bullseye for me. You've got my support in however you need to get through your creator journey. Quality of life = quality of content = how you inspire, educate and entertain me. (And likely many others here.) Be well. We'll be here waiting.
Andy Bettis
Take care of yourself, the rest will follow. We can wait.
Brent ODell
I quote Billy Joel when I say "Do what's good for you, or you're not good for anybody"
Jonathan furtado
I must hand it to you for striving to make better videos of quality. but you are a much better YouTuber than most of these political YouTubers who just push it out there to give views or to meme the competition. Who actually does research and looks at the history of our country. Take the time you need, keep kicking ass.
Chris Stone
Don't just look at quantity; the quality of your videos is noticeably better than previous years.
Suzanne
Living alone through this pandemic is crap, I know this all too well myself. Thank goodness I have a lot of friends I can complain to, laugh with and share in positive stories as well. I'm positive you have that PLUS you have your followers who obviously care about you, not just your video output.. Stay positive, we all have faith in you.
Matthew W. Taylor
Praying for you man. Always thankful for your videos and will be excited to welcome you back.
Chuck Floyd
As others have already said, I think your own well being should come first and if you can take the time, do it. Just come back so we can all know better.
Waldzkrieger
We love ya man, take time for you
Amanda Gillies
Take the time you need for yourself. We'll be here when you get back
Jeffery Dahlem
No disappointment. I’d rather you be healthy and happy than ever get a video again. Much love brother. Take care of yourself :-)
Brenford
Put yourself first man, we’ll still be here
