xelgot
patreon
Wilbur & Orville update + Artist experience
🕑 Added 2020-05-30 01:57:24 +0000 UTCHi everyone! Here's a late update post on Wilbur and Orville so you can see what I'm up to for them. I also want to take this opportunity to share a personal experience I've had while working on this plus some artist feelings.
Probably this isn't the kind of artwork style that you'd expect from the monthly fanart illustration since usually I always end up making a full painting thing. Well, this is gonna be an exception this month because this time I decided to go for something that I personally feel more authentic to me an more "xelgot" in a way.
Initially, I was all up for an illustration of the two characters like I usually do but with a twist: I didn't want to go crazy with the rendering since I wanted to try something in between to a simple style to keep some of the original drawing features unchanged.
Well, it all was a total failure that costed me invaluable time (two and a half work days) and left me mentally drained. Not to mention my morale was below the ground.
If I'm being honest, most part of this month I've been feeling like.. not that everything I do is bad or crap, but more like.. what I do is just.. not good enough. I know it may sound stupid and upsetting but that's how I've been feeling lately, and that's what I meant about the artist crisis I talked about before. I want to change things and feel more authentic so I can make an impact on the people who see my art. I'm working at it.
I think I reached this crisis episode peak yesterday while working on this two guys when I took the decision to STOP (it was past 3:30am) and go to sleep and take care of myself. Things just... weren't going the way I initially wanted: without knowing it I was starting to go "crazy rendering" which would consume me even more time than expected (and got me even more frustrated since it seemed endless) and also the following:
1) I didn't have the proper references to work with so I was going kind of blind on some things.
2) Drawing was starting to feel forced and losing its charm which lowered my morale
3) I was mentally exhausted; burnt out. I wanted to quit.
4) I realized that sometimes LESS is MORE and there's nothing wrong with it
So after struggling very hard with that art piece I came to the realization that it wasn't a solid art project to begin with. You cannot build a good house without solid foundations you know? That came to my mind and decided that I needed to stop and do something. I didn't want to give up and was determined to make this work one way or another.
That's why I decided to take a different approach on this project by working it as a character collage instead of a full illustration like I usually do. This way I felt it was more authentic and more live to me and I started to actually enjoy it to the point where I just cannot wait to resume and finish it. I can now say that I am LOVING IT.
After experiencing all this art burn out and existential crisis, I'm more than motivated to take all the challenges that I have ahead of me and go victorious. I won't give up.
If you read until this point, thank you and also thank you for having my back with your support through patreon. It means a lot to me. Also there's another personal experience I want to share with you all about it but I'll leave that for another day ;)
Please stay safe and take care <3
Comments
Xelgot
For what I've seen, many artists have been going through this recently.. Unfortunately I cannot take long breaks from art since I make a living off it but I'll try not to be that harsh to myself and try to be more authentic/honest to myself. Thank you! :)
Xelgot
Thank you very much! I'll try not to push too hard and try to be more authentic to myself :)
I always feel that you are more "Xelgot" with your simpler style than full rendering, it's personnal but I tend to prefer it way more that way when it comes to me. Take good care of yourself, and do things as you enjoy them, that's the most important, mental health is important, and just want you to be happy and do things your way :) Take some breaks too from time to time if it ever is needed :) Take good care of yourself, that's what is the most important ^^ Keep going in a way that makes you feel good Xel, that's how you'll get the best out of you ❤
Ah I totally understand how you feel about burn out and just straight up not enjoying drawing. I was going through this ideal recently as well, but after I took a very long break from the pressures of social media and drawing in general, I felt very refreshed. I'm glad you're recognizing when you feel you're not happy and taking good care of yourself! I know I want nothing more than for you to be happy and healthy, because when everything is right, you can make some amazing art! As for the Orvilles! They look so good!! I love this new take on them so much! It's so different and unique! Keep up the good work and stay happy and healthy!! ♥️♥️♥️
